Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Meatballs-Out Crazy Request

| CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(The building out of which I have operated my shop for the last 2.5 years was originally built as an Italian restaurant. The restaurant went out of business over a decade ago, and my coffee shop is only the latest in a string of businesses that have occupied the property since then.)

Me: *answering the phone* “Good afternoon, [Coffee Shop].”

Caller: “Oh, um, hi… This is going to sound a little stupid…”

Me: “No, don’t worry. What can I help you with?”

Caller: “Well, my name is [Caller], and I just really loved [Original Restaurant]’s meatballs and sauce. I was wondering if you still had any, or if you knew how to get some?”

Me: *speechless*

Caller: “They were just so good! Do you know where they might have opened up again?”

Me: “No… Not at all.”

Caller: “Oh, that’s disappointing. What a shame. They were just so good. I—”

Me: “All right. Well, if that’s all, I—”

Caller: “But they were just so good!”

Should Go Back To Primary Level

| Liverpool, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work in a small art and bookshop. We get a lot of students coming in to get supplies.)

Customer: “Hi. I’m starting an art course at the college and I need some brushes.”

Me: “Okay. We have lots to choose from over there.”

(I point to huge rack of brushes to my right full of oil, acrylic, and watercolour brushes.)

Customer: “Oh, I’m not quite…”

Me: “I can help you if you like? What sort of brush are you looking for?”

Customer: “Well, what sort of brushes are the other students buying?”

Me: “It’s up to you really. It’s sort of a personal preference. What do you like to paint with?”

Customer: “Primary colours.”

Me: “…”

(Something told me she probably won’t excel at art college!)

Girl Scout Tout

| USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

(As a Girl Scout, we have no control over the price of Girl Scout cookies. They have gone up to $4 for around two years now.)

Me: “Would you like to buy any Girl Scout cookies?”

Lady: “Yes, I love Girl Scout cookies! How much are they?”

Me: “They are $4 a box, ma’am.”

Lady: “YOU’RE LYING TO ME! MY DAUGHTER USED TO SELL THEM FOR $3.50!”

Me: “Ma’am, they have been $4 now for around two years. That is the price and we have no control over it.”

Lady: “You are just trying to make some extra cash! My daughter used to charge 50 cents extra all the time! Now give me the real price!”

Me: “That was against the rules, and we have never done that! If you refuse to pay the full price, we cannot sell cookies to you!”

Lady: “FINE! Do you take checks?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we do! What would you like?”

Lady: “I want two boxes of cookies! NOW!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. That will be $8.”

(She gives us a check, takes the cookies, and walks away. As I look at the check I notice it is only for $7! I run after the lady.)

Me: “Excuse me! We need another dollar!”

Lady: “F*** you! You are just cheating me!”

(She backs up in her car, almost hits me, and throws a dollar out the window! Then she races out of the parking lot!)

Not A Very Smart Cookie

| OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A customer is standing in the store looking at the case of pastries.)

Customer: “What’s a peanut butter cookie?”

Me: “It’s a cookie with peanut butter.”

Customer: “What’s a chocolate chip cookie?”

Me: “It’s a cookie with chocolate chips in it.”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The peanut butter cookie has peanut butter and no chocolate chips, and the chocolate chip cookie has chocolate chips and no peanut butter.”

Customer: “I don’t understand the difference.” *deliberates for a few minutes* “I’ll get one of each…”

Your Biggest Bugbear

, | Danvers, MA, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(It is my last week working as a waiter at a nice restaurant/bar before heading off to college. Late Friday afternoon, eight men in suits and ties come in for food and drinks. A couple minutes after serving their cocktails, one of them calls me to the table, stands up, and starts shouting.)

Customer: “What’s the meaning of this? There’s a bug in my drink!”

Me: “I’m so sorry sir. I’ve never seen that happen before.”

(For the next five minutes he rants and raves. I apologize every time he’ll let me get a word in, but he won’t let up. He’s apparently trying to impress his companions, but they’re all rolling their eyes in embarrassment at his hysterics. Finally, he reaches the end of his tantrum.)

Customer: “You should be fired for serving a drink with a bug in it. It’s completely unacceptable. Take this back and bring me another one. Get me another one, right now!”

Me: “Certainly, sir. Of course.”

Me: *turns to leave, hesitates, turns back to the customer* “To make sure I’ve got this right, sir, is that another bug or another drink you would like?”

Customer: “…”

Companions: *burst out laughing*

(The customer turns red. He never said another word. The group left me a nice tip.)

Page 89/306First...8788899091...Last