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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Fowl About The Chicken

    | LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I’m in the food court of the mall standing in line to get something from one of the food stalls there, one of only two known to serve chicken exclusively. There is a customer in front of me with a meal box from the other stall.)

    Cashier #1: *to the customer* “Hi, welcome to [restaurant's name]! How may I help you?”

    Customer: “You idiots screwed up my order!” *thrusts box out at the cashier* “I’m supposed to get fries and coleslaw with this meal but I only have chicken and bread!”

    (He sees the box but begins stammering, trying not to upset her by telling her she’s not at the right stall.)

    Cashier #1: “I’m so sorry ma’am, but… well…”

    Customer: “Fix it! I want my fries and slaw!”

    Cashier #2: “Ma’am, the box you’re holding has [other restaurant's name] on it.”

    Customer: “I know that!”

    Cashier #2: “Would you mind taking a step back and reading the sign above our stall?”

    (The customer steps back, almost hitting me, and reads out loud the restaurant’s name.)

    Customer: “And? What’s all this for? Fix my order!”

    Cashier #2: “Ma’am, you’re at the wrong restaurant. [Other restaurant's name] is across the food court. They can fix your order.”

    (By now everyone in line, including me, is waiting to see if she’ll apologize for getting them mixed up.)

    Customer: “You’re all useless!” *stomps off with her food*

    Cashier #1: “I tried to be nice, I really did…”

    Not A Breadwinning Idea

    | NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (An older man comes into the cafe and looks our menu over. We serve salads, sandwiches, and soup.)

    Customer: “I want a sandwich, but I don’t eat bread.”

    Me: “Hmm…”

    Customer: “I’m probably not going to have any luck with that, am I?”

    Me: “No, sir, I don’t think so.”

    If They Were Loud Then Pigs Would Fly

    | Layton, UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (My two friends and I are customers at a popular nationwide diner chain. It is around 1 am, and we are seated near a corner table, where three loud, obnoxious diners are seated with a sleeping infant in an open carrier. I am seated with my back to them and my two friends and are, for the most part, successfully ignoring them and quietly talking amongst ourselves. The only other customers in the restaurant are two twenty-something’s seated at a small table directly across the aisle from us doing nothing but reading and trying to ignore the obnoxious diners who are using some fairly vulgar language as they complain about their days. Not surprisingly, their loud cursing wakes up their infant. A few moments later, I feel something hit the back of my neck.)

    Me: *under my breath* “What the…” *reaching up to take the projectile off the back of my neck*

    Friend: “What is that?”

    Me: “…it’s bacon.”

    (Thinking the increasingly-upset child behind me had grabbed something off the diner’s plate and accidentally thrown it my way as its parents tried unsuccessfully to calm it, I set aside the bacon from the table behind me and continued trying to ignore the loud diners behind us, as they did not directly address us after the bacon had hit me. Five or ten minutes pass.)

    Loud female diner: *as she walks by our table* “THANKS FOR BEING LOUD!”

    (Her two male friends both give us dirty looks as they pass us and walk towards the front register. We sit and stare in stunned silence. As the lady with the baby pays, we watch her rant to our exhausted waitress and pointing to us. When they finally leave, our waitress came over to us.)

    Me: “What was that all about?!”

    Waitress: “They apparently were blaming you for waking up their baby.”

    Reading customer: “For what it’s worth, we didn’t even realize you guys were there until they yelled at you!”

    Me: “You may want to watch out for them if they come back. They started throwing their bacon at me.”

    Waitress: *stunned* “I hate the night shift.”

    An Extra Shot Of Irony

    | England, UK | Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I am at a New Year’s Eve party.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, I need to replace someone’s drink. I accidentally spilt it.”

    (As it is only a small drink, I gave it to him without charge.)

    Customer #2: *to me* “How much of an idiot do you have to be to spill someone’s drink?!”

    (Customer#2 orders various drinks, but there are 2 expensive bottles of wine and mixer drinks with at least 3 shots of various spirits in.)

    Me: “All together that will be £50.”

    Customer #2: “No problem, but seriously can you imagine if I was as stupid as him and spilled these!”

    (Customer #2 turns with tray of drinks to return to his friends. As he does, he drops the entire tray, smashing the wine bottles and the other drinks all over the floor.)

    Customer #2: “I guess I deserved that. Don’t suppose I could have free replacements?”

    (The guy bought another round, as well as two more drinks, one for me and one for the guy he had been joking about.)

    Putting The Bus Into Busy

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Top

    (My mother and I go to lunch at a popular fast food restaurant. The store’s location is in a plaza directly across the street from the local mall; as such, despite the fact that it is the lunch hour, there are few customers in the dining room other than us, though the drive-thru is a flurry of activity. We wait at the counter, and the woman there takes our order.)

    Cashier: “Will there be anything else today, sweetie?”

    (I am a pretty scrawny and short eleven year old, and painfully shy.)

    Me: “No thank you, that’s okay. But um… there’s a bus full of kids coming here for lunch. They should be here soon.”

    Cashier: “Wait, what?”

    My Mother: “Well, my daughter was late to school today because of a doctor’s appointment. I normally drop her off with a note for the teacher, but her grade is on a field trip touring the local police station up the street from the restaurant. I drove her to the station and stayed with her as we caught up with the tour, and then decided to drive the two of us to the restaurant after. We’re here first because it takes time to load up two classes of kids into a school bus.”

    Cashier: *pale* “Could you just wait one moment, please?”

    (She goes and gets her manager, and my mom and I explain everything again.)

    Manager: “How many people are we talking about here?”

    Mom: *to me* “How many kids in your class, honey?”

    Me: “It’s not just my class. It’s [other teacher]‘s class too, and there’s 25 kids in hers. [My teacher] has 27 kids, but there’s [classmate] and [teacher's aide] ’cause she’s special ed. And [third teacher] has some of his kids too, so…” *does the mental math* “Maybe 60 people?”

    Manager: “60. Some adults, mostly kids.”

    (She breathes deeply in and lets it out slowly with a whoosh.)

    Manager: “Got it.”

    (She turns to her crew, barks out orders, and the previously laid-back kitchen area explodes into action. Meat’s on the grill, batches of fries and nuggets are dropped into the fryer and just in time because five minutes later my classmates and teachers are swarming the place. The manager was nice enough to track me down in all the fuss and give me a free sundae. It wouldn’t be until years later, when I was working in fast food myself that I appreciated the reprieve even a few minutes’ advance warning could bring!)


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