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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Suite Deal Turns Sour

    | Tasmania, Australia | Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging, Money, Top

    (Our CEO has just upgraded a guest and her husband from our basic room to our penthouse suites after having lunch with a mutual friend. Our basic rooms go for $150 a night, and the penthouses are $1000 a night. We require the guests to pay for two nights ($300) on check-in. I have just gone through the payment process, and have given the guest information about the hotel and our facilities. The guest’s husband has walked away to collect their bags.)

    Guest: “So is breakfast included in my room cost?”

    Me: “No, it’s not. However the penthouse has full kitchen facilities, so I can direct you to a store down the road if you would prefer to make your own.”

    Guest: “You expect me to pay extra for breakfast?!”

    Me: “Well ma’am, as I said, you do have other options. There are also quite a lot of nice places for breakfast within a five minute walk if you would prefer that.”

    Guest: “You little b****! I’ve already paid a ridiculous amount for this penthouse! You will give me free breakfast, or I’ll get your stupid a** fired.”

    Me: “Ma’am, a two night stay in our penthouses usually costs $2000; you have paid $300. If you would prefer to pay the additional $1700, I will gladly include breakfast in this cost.”

    (The guest starts to yell, calling me nasty names, and threatening to get me fired. When I still don’t give her what she wants, she grabs the room key and storms off. Her husband walks back into reception to see her storming away. The husband looks back to me.)

    Guest’s Husband: *sighs* “She’s done it again, huh?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; what do you mean?”

    Guest’s Husband: “We were upgraded at our last hotel, too. The receptionist there had that exact same look on her face. What did she say to you?”

    Me: “She was unhappy that we charge extra for breakfast.”

    Guest’s Husband: “Don’t worry; we’ll be paying for breakfast. I’m sorry if she was rude.”

    Me: “It’s not a problem at all, sir. I hope you enjoy your stay.”

    (The guest’s husband leaves. About 20 minutes later, both guests come through reception on their way to our restaurant. The husband smiles and waves to me, and, with a pointed look at his wife, continues on his way. The guest stops at the desk, and I prepare myself for another dose of name calling.)

    Guest: “I’m sorry about earlier. My husband says you were very polite to him, even after I was so rude to you.”

    Me: “Not a problem at all, ma’am. I hope you enjoy your stay with us. If you need anything, please just let us know.”

    (The guest nods, and walks away. I don’t see either guest again for the remainder of their stay. On the day they leave, I get a call from my CEO for an urgent meeting. Apparently, the guest felt so bad that she told my boss about what happened. I’ve now been given a raise, and a complimentary stay in the penthouses!)

    Pulling Hair As Well As A Fast One

    , | Raunds, England, UK | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m 10 years old. I am helping my father out at his takeaway, being the ‘cashier’. We are Asian. A white customer in her thirties walks in, and orders some food. I call my dad’s friend to make it, and he does. He brings it out and leaves.)

    Me: “Okay, miss, that will be £30.00.”

    Customer: “What? Oh no, darling; I’m the old owner’s daughter! I get my food for free!”

    Me: “£30.00.”

    Customer: “FREE. Give me my food for free, sweetheart.”

    Me: “Please pay £30.00.”

    Customer: “Dearie, I get it for free. My father—bless him, he’s 60 now—is the owner, and lets me have it for free! Give it to me!”

    Me: “I don’t believe my father is 60; he is only 40. And we are Asian; you are a White person. Now, please pay for your food, or I will be forced to call the police.”

    Customer: “You cheeky lying little brat!”

    (She grabs my hair, and pulls hard.)

    Customer: “Give me my free food now! Or I’ll spank your bum so hard you will die! You’re just a worthless teenager trying to earn money you don’t deserve!”

    Me: “Daddy! Daddy! A lady’s got my hair, and she says you’re her daddy, and, and, gets f-food for free!”

    (My dad runs in.)

    Dad: “Stop! She’s only 10! You’re hurting her! I will call the police!”

    (The customer goes pale, and runs out the door. I’ve not been back there in two years.)

    Good People Are Not Dime A Dozen

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Movies & TV, Top

    (I work in my university’s campus shop. I arrive for my shift to find the site in lockdown. There are security guys and people in ‘hi-vis’ jackets everywhere. They check my ID, and let me through, so I think nothing of it. Later that afternoon, one of the ‘hi-vis’ jacketed guys comes to my till with a drink and bar of chocolate. He looks stressed.)

    Customer: “Hey, how much for this?”

    Me: “£1.10″

    (The customer starts rummaging in his pocket.)

    Customer: “Oh for f***’s sake; I’ve gone and left my f****** wallet in the truck. I’ve been here since 4am, and this is the only break I’ll get! I’ve only got a £1 coin. Leave the chocolate; I’ll just have the drink.”

    Me: “Nah, no worries; I’ll spot you the 10p. People leave their change behind all the time.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yeah, positive. You look like you could use it. I hope your day gets a bit better!”

    Customer: “Thanks, love! You put a smile back on my face. Bless you!”

    (A couple of hours later, the same guy comes back in just as I’m closing up.)

    Customer: “Are you closing?”

    Me: “Yes, sorry, the till’s already been shut down.”

    Customer: “Excellent! If you’ve got 10 minutes, go sit on the wall outside there, and keep quiet, okay?”

    (Intrigued, I go sit where he asks, which is just outside the doors of the building. A dark SUV pulls up, and security guards materialise from nowhere and start moving people away. They try to move me on, but the customer tells them that I’m with him, and they leave us be. The next person to come out of the doors is Leonardo di Caprio, who then gets into the SUV. My mouth drops in shock.)

    Customer: “10p for the front-row seat. Can’t say fairer than that, can you?”

    (Some months later, I recognise one of my university’s lecture halls in the movie ‘Inception’!)

    It’s About To Get Crazy Horse Up In Here

    , | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am on break and heading towards the restroom, when a customer asks me to take his order. Seeing that it’s busy, and assuming that the customer has been waiting for some time, I step up to the spare till that the managers all share. All of my on-duty coworkers are either Hispanic or African American.)

    Me: “Sorry about the wait. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Number four, medium, with an iced tea to drink. I’m glad you finally came out of the kitchen. I thought I’d never get to order.”

    Me: “I’m sorry again about your wait. We’ve been a little understaffed all day.”

    Customer: “So, that must be why you were doing the Mexican’s work.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “The kitchen, the kitchen! I guess all these n****** who can’t take an order right needed someone back there who speaks English to fix everything. They need to hire more white folks like you to work here.”

    Me: “Sir, I would appreciate it if you refrain from making such offensive remarks.”

    Customer: “Aw, c’mon. No need to cater to them. Just between us, you think whites are the best race, right?”

    Me: “Just between us?”

    (I beckon the customer closer, then speak loudly enough for the entire restaurant to hear.)

    Me: “If you spout any more of this racist bull-s***, I will not hesitate to kick you out.”

    Customer: “But you’re white!”

    Me: “Not that it matters, but I’m half Native-American.”

    Customer: “You don’t look it. If that’s true, what’s your ‘Injun’ name?”

    Me: “In my tribe, I am called ‘Ejects-Bigoted-A**-hole-From-Premises’. Now kindly get the f*** out.”

    Think Small

    | CT, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am working the pay window at a fast food restaurant.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “Why did they ask me small, medium, or large?”

    Me: “For the size of your combo.”

    Customer: “That is too complicated for drive-thru.”

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