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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    I’d Like Nachos With Extra Photoshop Please

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Our concessions stands have digital menu boards, and our food and drink advertisements play every once in a while. A customer is next in line and comes to my register.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like a large drink and nachos.”

    (I get her drink, and bring her the nachos. The nachos are pre-packed, and as soon as I give them to her, she opens them and looks disgusted.)

    Customer: “I don’t want these nachos! The chips are too small! I wanted the larger nachos!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we only have one size, which are what I gave you. Did you want to try any other hot food?”

    Customer: “No, I want large nachos! What about those?! I want those nachos!”

    (The customer points to our screen, which is showing the nacho advertisement.)

    Me: “I’m sorry; that’s the digital screen, displaying an ad for our nachos.”

    Customer: “But those nachos look bigger!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; they’re the same size as the nachos I gave you. The camera is zoomed in to show texture.”

    (The customer has a dumbfounded look on her face, and quietly leaves.)

    Ironic That She Wants A RACE Car

    | Barrie, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work at a fast food establishment that gives out toys with their kids meals. This particular month, we have dolls, or toy cars. There are four dolls in the set; two are white, one is Asian, and one is black. On this day, we only have the black doll in stock.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like a different doll, please.”

    Me: “Sorry, those are the only dolls we have available right now.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? I can see one right there.”

    (The customer points to the toy display case.)

    Me: “Those are for display only, sorry.”

    Customer: “Open your f****** case, and get me another doll! I don’t want my daughter playing with some n***** doll!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we really don’t have any other doll. If you like, hang on to it, and come back next week when we get our new toys. You can switch it then.”

    Customer: “Not good enough; I want a manager!”

    (I go into the back, and explain to a black staffer—who happens to be built like a tank—what is happening. I ask him to go up front and pretend to be the manager.)

    Coworker: “My employee explained the situation. What would you like me to do about it?”

    Customer: *turns red and looks completely terrified* “I’d like to switch this for a car, please?”

    He Must Be Baked

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am with my family at a Chinese restaurant. My father has kept the waitress at our table for at least five minutes, trying to order what he wants. He is mostly speaking about the food itself, and then moving on. He finally thinks of something he wants.)

    Father: “Oh. I’ll have the salty fried pork with pepper. Do you have that?”

    Waitress: “No, but we have similar.”

    (My brother slides the menu to our father, and points at the baked salted pork.)

    Waitress: “You’ll have that?”

    Brother: “Yes, he will.”

    Father: “Wait, so not peppered?”

    Waitress: “No pepper.”

    Father: “Oh, okay, so it’s salty fried pork. I’ll have that.”

    Waitress: “It’s salted baked pork.”

    Father: “Yes, yes, I understand, but it’s fried right?”

    Waitress: “Baked.”

    Father: “Fried?”

    Waitress: “Baked.”

    Father: “Fried?”

    Waitress: “Baked.”

    Father: “Fried?”

    Waitress: “Baked.”

    Father: “Fried?”

    Waitress: “Yes.”

    A Gruel-ing Customer, Part 2

    | OR, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I am the supervisor on duty at a soup and sandwich shop. It is in the evening, so we are very slow. I am counting down one of the tills, while my coworker is ringing up a customer. The customer completes his order, and it is handed out to him a few minutes later.)

    Customer: *to my co-worker* “Um, miss, I ordered soup, and there is no soup in here.”

    (My coworker pulls up the receipt to double-check, though we both know he did not order any soup.)

    Coworker: “I apologize; you did not order the soup. However, I can have it out to you in just a moment. I’ll add it to your sandwich so you will only have to pay the combo price of one dollar for it.”

    Customer: “I don’t have enough money for that. I think I should get it free.”

    (My coworker glances at me awkwardly, so I decide to step in.)

    Me: “Sir, she is just adding on the amount you would have paid had you included the soup in your first order. If you order a sandwich, soup is just a dollar extra. So she is only charging you what you would have been charged in the first place.”

    Customer: “I understand that, but it wasn’t in my first order so I shouldn’t have to pay for it. Plus I don’t have enough to pay for it.”

    Me: “Sir, I was standing here for your entire order. No one else has ordered since you. While I understand it was a simple mistake, you did not order soup. However, we are not charging you full price which would be $2.50 for a cup of soup; we are charging you a dollar. So to be fair, you are still getting the same deal you would have gotten.”

    Customer: “Right. But I only have the $7.50 for the sandwich.”

    Me: “…so no matter what, you wouldn’t have been able to afford the soup?”

    Customer: “Right. But you didn’t include it in the first order, so I want it free.”

    Me: “But if you had ordered it in your first order, you wouldn’t have been able to afford it. We would not have been able to include it anyway.”

    Customer: “Look. This isn’t hard. I just want the soup for free.”

    Me: “I’m just supposed to give you soup free because you can’t afford it?”

    Customer: “Will it help if I tell you my friend is sick, and she really wants this soup?”

    Me: “Not at this point, sorry.”

    Customer: “Fine, whatever…”

    Related:
    A Gruel-ing Customer

    No Catches Get Pasteurize

    | WI, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

    (Our store sells pints of ice cream.)

    Customer: “I’ll take three pints of vanilla.”

    Me: “Well, we currently have a special running, so you can have four pints for the price of three. What would you like for your fourth pint?”

    Customer: “So if I get one more pint it won’t cost me any more money?”

    Me: “Yep!”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t do deals. It’s obvious that if you buy something on sale it’s because the original price is already inflated. So I only buy things at regular price.”

    Me: “Umm, well it would be the same price, so it would be a better value to have four.”

    Customer: “Well, I know there’s some catch somewhere! Only give me three.”

    Me: “Umm, okay, as you wish.”

    Customer: “Good! I won’t have you ripping me off!”

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