Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

All Fired Up And Fried Up

| Medicine Hat, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I have a headset on to assist drive-thru…)

Cashier: “You had the burger and a coke. Any fries today?”

Customer: *grumpy*: “No fries!”

Cashier: “Okay. And what size for your drink?”

Customer: “NO FRIES!”

Cashier: “I know, but what size for your drink? Small, medium, or large?”

Customer: “I said NO FRIES!”

Cashier: “Okay. The burger and a coke…”

Customer: “LISTEN, YOU LITTLE B****! I said I didn’t want fries! Don’t you f****** listen?!”

(She drives up to the first window and I’m ticked off, so I take it. She hands me her credit card.)

Me: “DON’T SWEAR AT MY COWORKERS!”

Customer: “Well, she wasn’t listening!”

Me: “Yes, she was. You didn’t. She asked what size of drink. She didn’t say a damn word about fries after you said you didn’t want any.”

Customer: “I want your manager.”

(I call for manager.)

Customer: “I want—”

Me: “Nope. You want the manager, not me, so you’re getting the manager.” *I still have her card so she can’t leave*

(The manager comes and the customer complains about my attitude to her. The manager says exactly what I did, not to swear at us, it’s her own fault, and not to come back. Haven’t seen her since.)

The Tongue Has Eyes

| Peabody, MA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I present a diner our menu, which does not contain any photos.)

Customer: “How am I supposed to know what the food tastes like if there’s no pictures?”

Me: “Uh…”

Too Early To Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

, | VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(I have just gotten off my job, working retail at a clothing store. I stop by a popular, well-known fast food restaurant for dinner. The drive-thru is backed up, and there are several police officers mulling around. Despite this, I’m still hungry, so I go inside and order my food.)

Me: “So, what’s going on here anyway?”

Cashier: “This customer won’t move her car away from the pay window in the drive-thru.”

Me: “Why not?”

Cashier: “We’re having a promotion where you can get a free coffee during breakfast hours. But it’s 11 pm. She shows up and wants her free coffee, and we tell her it’s only for the mornings, and she refuses to move. So we called the cops. I guess they’ll tow her.”

Me: “Wow, all that fuss over a free coffee? That’s pretty sad. I understand crazy customers, I work at [Clothing Shop].”

Cashier: “Honey, until you’ve worked at [Fast Food Place], you ain’t seen s***!”

Living In Her Own Pizza Pie In The Sky

| UT, USA | Food & Drink, Technology, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Will this be for take out or delivery?”

Customer: “Hi. Um, can I get a large pizza with pepperoni, sausage, olives—”

Me: “Yes. I just need to know if you will be coming to pick this up, or if you would like to have it delivered?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(The customer proceeds to order food without telling me if it’s for take-out or delivery which is info that we need to take the order. To make things worse just at that moment my computer freezes making it impossible to take an order.)

Customer: “… and I would also like to add a salad on to that order—”

(The customer continues to order food at light speed as I try to interject.)

Me: “Ma’am, I need you to hold on for a second.”

(The customer is completely oblivious to everything I’m saying, and continues to order.)

Me: “Miss, I need you to hang on for just a second. My computer froze and I am unable to take your order for a moment.”

Customer: ” Okay, I think that’s everything. How much will the total be?”

(I am completely dumbfounded by this woman.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I have to put you on hold. Hang on for one moment.”

(I put the woman on hold and notify my manager that one of the computers has frozen. I proceed to take the order on another computer but when I take the phone off hold I find that the customer has hung up. 15 seconds or so pass and the phone rings again. This time my coworker answers the call.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Will this be for take-out or delivery?”

Customer: “Hi. Yes. Um, I just called in and your phone person hung up on me. We had the order paid for and everything.”

(Never in my life have I dealt with a more oblivious person.)

Will Have To Wait For The Correct Answer

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I have just finished at the doctor’s office and talk my mom into taking me to get some coffee. We decide to go through the drive-thru as I need to get back to school and her to work. She is driving and I’m riding shotgun.)

Cashier: “What can I get for you today?”

Mom: “Two coffees, please.”

Cashier: “That’ll be [total]. Please pull around to the window.”

(As there is a long line, it takes about 10 minutes before we finally get to the window.)

Cashier: “Sorry about the wait.”

Mom: “Oh, I’m doing fine. How about you?”

(At this, the cashier gets a deer-in-the-headlights look as he does not know how to respond to this break in the conversational cycle. I, however, am cracking up.)

Mom: *looks at the cashier and then at me* “What’s so funny?”

Me: “Mom, he said sorry about the wait.”

Mom: “Oh! I thought he said ‘how are you.'” *turns to the cashier* “I’m sorry. You can laugh at me if you want…”

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