July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

A Driving Thought

, | Palm Harbor, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Chain]; can I take your order?”

Customer: “I’ll have [order].”

Me: “Okay, I have a [order]? Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “Thanks. Your total will be [total].”

(The customer drives up to the window.)

Customer: *smugly* “You forgot to tell me to please drive through.*

Me: “Sir, if I need to tell someone to drive through, then I’m not sure I want to deal with them when they eventually find the window.”

Doing Them A Flavor Favor

, | Ireland | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I work as a waitress and am waiting on a table of a really nice family with three kids. It is an unusually hot day and each of the children has one of those really tall, exaggerated slushies with in-built straws.)

Me: “Where did you get those slushies? They look pretty cool!”

Father: “Oh, just next door.”

Me: “Oh, I didn’t realize they sold them. I’ll have to get one next time I’m in. It’s been so hot recently.”

Father: “What’s your favourite flavour?”

Me: “I don’t know. All of them, I guess! So, are you guys ready to order?”

(I proceed to take their order. Their food is served and they have their meal, pay, and leave with no hassle or problems and nice chit chat all the way through. They’ve left after their meal for about 20 minutes when the father enters back in. I’m behind the bar at this point.)

Father: “Hey, I got you this. It is really hot today!” *hands me one of the slushies, with all the flavours mixed together*

Me: “Oh, thank you!”

(He smiled and walked out again. It made my day! Sometimes, the customer is the good guy!)

Fickle Over A Nickel

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

(The store where I work has a coffee booth near the express lane, where I am working one day. Customer #1, an elderly man, comes to my register with a small coffee. He puts a dollar, two quarters, and four pennies on my counter.)

Customer #1: “It should be $1.54 for this coffee, right?”

Me: “I think so. Let me check.”

(I ring it up and with tax it comes to $1.59.)

Me: “Oh, sorry. Looks like it’s actually $1.59. You were close though!”

(The man frowns and pulls out a wad of bills. He has twenties, tens, fives, and several more dollar bills.)

Customer #1: *muttering* “I might as well give you a twenty to get a nickel!” *stuffs all his money back in his pockets* “You can just keep the d*** coffee!”

(He storms off, leaving me speechless. The next customer stares after him.)

Customer #2: “Goodness! What was his problem?”

Me: “He was a nickel short for his coffee and didn’t want to give me another dollar instead.”

Customer #2: “Is that what all the fuss was about? Shoot, I could have given him a nickel!”

Me: “I have some dimes in my pocket, but I don’t think he would have accepted that either.”

Customer #2: *shaking her head* “Shame. It seems like he really could have used that coffee!”

Low On The Milk Of Human Kindness

| West Sussex, England, UK | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Wild & Unruly

(My wife and I do our weekly shop every Monday. My wife’s a primary school teacher and has a very calm, nature. She’s also practiced judo since early childhood, runs a class at weekends, and has a self-defense class that uses non-excessive force. My wife has offered to get the ingredients for her school to make pancakes the next day, as it is the day before Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day). Most ingredients are shared but we need 14 two-pint jugs of milk. My wife is at the pancake display. There are loads of ready made, ready mix, and separate ingredient on display. My wife is counting out the 14 jugs of milk, when another customer approaches.)

Customer: “Jesus, lady, leave some for the rest of us.”

Wife: *looking at the display* “I’m sure there’s enough for everyone.”

(My wife moves the trolley to try and leave.)

Customer: “Stuck-up b****.”

(My wife carries on moving as she has what she needs.)

Customer: *moving his trolley to block my wife* “Hey, don’t ignore me. I asked you a question.”

Wife: “No, you didn’t. You told me to leave some, even though there’s more than enough. Then you called me a stuck-up b****. Please move your trolley so I can get away from you.”

Customer: “How many you got in there? 14?” *he takes two milks out* “Now you only have 10.”

Wife: “Not only are you rude, you’re also an idiot. 14 minus 2 is 12.” *reaches out and gets two more milks* “Now there’s 14 again.”

(She moves her trolley quickly around the man. By now people are starting to stare. I make a move to go to her but she gives me a look so I stay where I am. The man takes a step towards her and puts his hand around her wrist.)

Customer: “You think you’re better than me, b****?!”

Wife: *very calmly* “Sir, I have tried to ignore you’re insults and politely asked you to move. You will not leave me alone. Now you have placed you hands on me in a threatening manner. This is considered assault. If you do not let go of me NOW I am within my rights to defend myself. Do you understand?”

(The customer just looks at her as if she’s spoken another language.)

Wife: “I have given you fair warning. I am obliged to warn you that I know judo. Please let go of me.”

(My wife tries to move her arm but he holds a little tighter.)

Customer: “You think you can hurt me, you b—”

(My wife uses the heel of her hand to strike the man in the face, causing his nose to bleed. She then flips him, where he lands with an almighty crash half on the floor and half on the display. While he is laying, screaming, she bends his index finger back (without breaking it) so he cannot get away. We hear heavy footsteps as security and staff comes running. People are just standing around, amazed.)

Security Guard: “What’s going on? Miss, you need to let go of him now, please.”

Wife: *very calmly* “This man was very rude and abusive to me. I asked him several times to leave me alone but he held my arm. I warned him I know judo, but he decided to hold on tighter. I then defended myself against a personal attack.

(The police were called and the man was taken away. My wife, I, and a few other customers were questioned by police as to what happened. As we all said the same thing, and my wife did not use excessive force, we were all told to go on our way. The supermarket donated the pancake ingredients to the school and my wife and I received £500 in vouchers. The customer has been banned from that store and the other major supermarkets in the area.)

Doesn’t Want To Provide Proof

| East Lothian, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Religion

(An elderly Muslim woman and her niece, who is in her 30s, are regular customers. They are both very nice people and are always friendly. Today the niece is in on her own and approaches the checkout.)

Niece: “Is my aunt in?”

Me: “I haven’t seen her.”

Niece: “Is her car in the car park?”

(I look as far as I can into the store car park.)

Me: “I can’t see it.”

Niece: “Good. Can I have a litre-bottle of [Cheap Brand] vodka, please.”

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