Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

The Sauce Of Confusion

| Vallejo, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(As always with restaurants, you get the guest who wants to specialize their entire meal because they have a strict diet. I approach a table with a lady who is eating lunch alone.)

Me: “Good afternoon. Are you ready to order, or would you like a couple of minutes?”

Customer: “No, I’m ready. First of all, I’m a vegetarian, so I’d like to start off with the minestrone soup, and then for my entree, I’d like wheat pasta with the meat sauce on the side.”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you just say you’d like the MEAT sauce?”

Customer: “On the side.”

Me: “The MEAT sauce?”

Customer: “On. The. Side.”

Me: “I understand ‘on the side’, but you are aware that the meat sauce has ground beef and ground sausage in it?”

Customer: “Yes, and I’d like it very much if the sauce was on the side.”

Doesn’t Know Beans About Listening

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I work as a cashier in restaurant with a store attached. All purchases, either food or merchandise, are done through me. When a customer finishes their meal, they bring me a receipt to pay for their meal, along with any other things they feel like buying. Like many stores, we have an item we try to sell to every customer who comes through the line. Its currently jelly beans.)

Me: “Hello, sir! How are you today? Did [Server] take good care of you?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah. She was great.”

Me: “Is that everything for you today? Would you like to add on any jelly beans today? We have a bunch of different kinds, with just about every flavor.”

Customer: “Yes, please. Seven.”

Me: *shocked* “Seven, sir? Absolutely. which kind would you like? We have the regular 20 flavors, sour, ice cream, smoothie…”

(I proceed to list every bag I can think of.)

Customer: “What? No. I want to add seven.”

Me: “Yes, sir, but I need to know what kind you want.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? I. Want. To. Add. Seven.”

Me: “Seven what?!”

Customer: “DOLLARS.”

Me: “Sir, are you referring to a tip? You want to add seven dollars for your server?”

Customer: “Yes! What else would I be talking about?”

Me: “Well, sir, I had just asked if you would like to add any jelly beans to your purchase today…”

Not Drinking This Information In

, | Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “I would like the #1 Combo”

Me: “And your beverage?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Your beverage?” *points at cup*

Customer: *frustrated* “YES.”

Me: “What would you like to drink, sir?”

Customer: “STOP ASKING! I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU I WANTED A DRINK!”

I-Scream For Someone To Listen

, | Dublin, Ireland | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I am a customer in this story. I’m queuing for ice cream at a mini fast-food stand in a well-known flat-pack furniture shop. Ahead of me is a father and mother with two children, an older girl around 10 years old and a younger boy. The system is that you buy tokens and cones from a cashier, and then put the tokens in an ice cream machine to make your own soft-serve in the cones.)

Cashier: “These cones are smaller than our usual ones. You have to wrap a napkin around them so the machine registers them. Okay?”

Father: “Yeah, yeah.” *hands the stuff to his wife and she takes the kids to the ice-cream machine while he gets their furniture*

Me: “One ice cream, please.”

Cashier: “Sure.”

(The cashier hands me my change, my token, and the cone, and repeats the information about the small cones and to be sure to use the napkin.)

Me: “Okay, thank you!”

(I follow the mother and children to the ice cream machine.)

Mother: *repeatedly trying to use the machine* “What is wrong with this stupid machine?”

Little Girl: “You have to wrap the napkin around the cone, mammy.”

Mother: *ignoring child* “[Father], the machine isn’t working!”

Father: *coming over* “Let me try.”

Little Girl: “You put the napkin around the cone, daddy.”

Father: *also ignoring child* “Piece of crap machine.”

Little Girl: “Daddy, you have to put the napkin around the cone!”

Father: *raising his voice, sarcastic* “I heard you the first time! Thank you for your input!”

Mother: “Forget it.”

(The father takes the tokens and cones back to get a refund, while the kids’ faces fall. The mother turns to me.)

Mother: “The machine is broken. Don’t bother.”

Me: “Are you sure? The–”

Mother: “You’re seeing me walk away, aren’t you?”

(The mother grabs the disappointed kids and stalks off to wait for the father. I step up, wrap the napkin around the cone, pop the token in the machine, and voila! Ice cream! I take the ice cream and go look for my own parents, and immediately walk past the waiting mother and children.)

Little Boy: “Look, mammy. Why did hers work?”

(Feeling bad for the kids, I walk off quickly so they don’t have to watch me eat my ice cream. I find my own parents, and we go to our car with our new furniture. As we’re walking, another car screeches out in front of us rudely and dangerously, and drives past: it’s the same family, and the smart, ignored little girl and the disappointed little boy both look out the window to see me still eating the delicious ice cream. Wherever you are, little girl, I hope your parents’ total lack of listening skills aren’t getting you down. You were right!)

Ordering Like A Headless Chicken

, | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a restaurant that only sells fried chicken. My manager answers the phone.)

Manager: “Welcome to [Chicken Place]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, [Pizza Place]?”

Manager: “No, this is [Chicken Place].”

Caller: “I’d like two large pizzas with–”

Manager: “Ma’am, this is–”

Caller: *shouting over her* “PEPPERONI! And I want those green peppers and don’t put on that seasoning stuff–”

Manager: “No, ma’am, this isn’t a pizza place. This is–”

Caller: “And on one of those, on half, I want sausage.”

Manager: “We don’t sell pizza!”

Caller: “Do you still do that special crust? With the cheese?”

Manager: “No, we–”

Caller: “Oh, okay. I’ll just take the regular crust, then. How much is it?”

Manager: *facepalming incredibly hard* “Ma’am. We do not sell pizza. We sell chicken. This is [Chicken Place].”

Caller: “Oh. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Page 86/307First...8485868788...Last