Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

A New Form Of Reverse Psychology

, | CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am working the drive thru and we were about to close. I see a car full of high-schoolers pull up to the window and the whole car is backwards. I go see what’s going on.)

Customer: “I bet you haven’t seen a car drive backwards through your drive thru before!”

Me: “No, sure haven’t!”

Customer: “So this means we get free food then right? For being original?”

Me: “Um, no. Nice try.”

Customer: “Okay. Had to try.” *drives off in reverse*

Listen For Those Nuggets Of Information

, | UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I take orders in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi, can I take your order, please?”

Customer: “Can I have a large chicken nugget meal, please?”

Me: “Sure, what drink?”

Customer: “LARGE. CHICKEN. NUGGET. MEAL.”

Me: “Yeah. What drink?”

(The customer rolls their eyes and sighs before making some comment to the passenger about ‘kids these days.’)

Customer: “Chicken—”

Me: “Yes. I heard you say large chicken nugget meal the first time. I asked you what drink?”

Customer: *laughs* “Oh. Coke!”

Me: “Any dips?”

Customer: “COKE!”

Couldn’t Really Blame Him For Frying

| NY, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I’m at a public pool that has pretty lenient employees at the “Snack Shack.” It should be noted that at the Shack, the customer pays BEFORE receiving their food.)

Employee: “Fries are ready!”

Little Boy: “My dad ordered those.” *takes fries and runs away*

(A few minutes later…)

Man: “Hi, I ordered my fries a while ago. Are they ready yet?”

Employee: “Uh, yeah. Your son just came by and already took them.”

Man: “What? I don’t have a son…”

Employee: *widens eyes* “Wait… What? That little lucky punk! He stole— argh. Sorry, I’ll get you your fries. Ugh…”

Something Fishy Going On Here

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work in a sandwich shop. It is just my boss and me in the shop when a customer comes in.)

Me: “Hi! What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Hi. Could I please have a medium tuna sandwich, please?”

Me: “Tuna fish? All right.”

Customer: “Wait, it’s tuna FISH?”

(Thinking she thought I meant simply slabs of fish, I explained what our product was.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t mean just pieces of fish. It’s tuna salad – albacore tuna fish mixed with mayonnaise and celery.”

Customer: “Yeah, but it’s still fish, and I hate fish. Why don’t you sub shops just have tuna? Why is it always tuna fish everywhere I go?”

(My boss had to make the woman’s sandwich, because I couldn’t fathom what was going on.)

You Say Potato, I Say Catholic

| NC, USA | Food & Drink, Religion

(My grandmother and I are serving food at an outdoor event. I have cooked mashed potatoes.)

Customer: “These potatoes are fantastic! I’ve had three servings.”

Me: “Well, thank you!”

Customer: “You must be from the First Baptist Church, because all of the best cooks are Baptist, you know.”

Me: “Actually, I’m not.”

Customer: “Oh, I guess you must be a Methodist then. Methodist women always did have a way with potatoes.”

Me: “No, I’m actually a Catholic.”

Customer: “Well, where the h*** did you come from?”

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