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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Hopefully, That’ll Be The End Of That Customer

    | MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    Customer #1: “I hope this is better than last time! My last ham was salty and had too much fat!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. We do have a guarantee on flavor, so if you—”

    Customer #1: “Never mind, it was a while ago. I want a 10 pound shank.”

    Me: “Okay, let me get one.”

    (I pull a ham about that size from the refrigerator, put it on the counter in front of her and unwrap the foil.)

    Customer #1: “No! No! That has way too much fat! See right there!”

    (I look down at where she is pointing and note it is a normal deposit found in all hams. I decide it’s not worth arguing.)

    Me: “Okay, let me get another.”

    (I do so, but she’s still not satisfied.)

    Customer #1: “No, that’s not any good either! It has too much fat!”

    (This repeats several times, as I show her a total of nine other ham shanks, all of which, predictably, have the same small fat deposit. I’m literally running out of hams to show her. Customer #2, a man standing behind her in line, has been quiet but has been getting increasingly agitated.)

    Customer #1: “What is with this place! All these hams have fat!”

    (Customer #2 finally snaps.)

    Customer #2: “Of course it has fat, you moron! It’s a pig’s a** cheek!”

    Customer #1: *stunned* “It is?”

    Customer #2: “Yes! He’ll tell you!” *points at me*

    Me: “Well yes, ham comes from the, uh, hind end of a pig.”

    Customer #1: “Oh my God, that’s disgusting! I’m never buying this again!”

    (She storms out, and Customer #2 steps up to the counter.)

    Customer #2: “Finally. One 12-pound pig a** cheek, please.”

    Crying Over No Spilt Milk

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in a convenience store, and am calling to make a dairy order.)

    Me: “Hi, this is [store] calling. I’d like to place my order.”

    Rep: “Sure! Whenever you’re ready.”

    Me: “I’ll take 15 ’2%’, 5 whole, 2 skim—”

    Rep: “I’m very sorry; can you hold on just one moment?”

    Me: “Sure, take your time.”

    (The rep puts me on hold for a few moments before returning.)

    Rep: “I’m very sorry about that. I had this guy on another line screaming at me about how he didn’t get his Pepsi order. It took me a few minutes to finally get a word in and to let him know that he had called the dairy company.”

    Me: *laughing* “Are you serious?”

    Rep: “Yes! I’ve never had that happen to me! Haha! Okay, I can take the rest of your order now!”

    It Isn’t The View That Is Spoiled

    | Ventura, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work as a hostess in a very popular family restaurant. We have a playground on the patio as well as one of the best locations in town with a view over looking the ocean. Today we have a party of 100 fundraising for a youth football team, so there are a lot of kids.)

    Customer: “Two, for outside please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the patio is reserved for a party.”

    (The customer is sat by the window with a lovely view of the ocean.)

    Customer: “Excuse me? But you wouldn’t let us sit outside! And now those ugly kids are playing in my view! Make them move!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they are part of the large party and I can’t ask them to leave.”

    Customer: “Are you serious?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t like kids either, but this is a family restaurant and family means kids.”

    Customer: “I’m never coming here again!”

    Herd Behavior

    | Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Top

    (My mom and I are flying home to California after staying with friends in Colorado. We have had to get up extremely early, and I have had a stressful week after dealing with a new friend. I should also mention I am a brony, meaning I like My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I am wearing a T-Shirt my best friend got me that says Ponyvengers with five ponies dressed up as the Avengers. We are stopping off to get some juice before we get on the plane home.)

    Me: “Hi! I’ll have [fruit drink].”

    Mom: “And I’ll have… a small [another drink].”

    Cashier: “You got it. Your total is [total].”

    (After my mom pays, the cashier walks backwards as he goes to make our drinks. My mom isn’t looking up. He motions to his chest and mouths ‘I love your shirt’. I give him a huge grin and thumbs up.)

    Mom: *to me* “Oh! I forgot to get water! Can you go get me some?

    Me: “Sure.”

    (She hands me some money. I grab two water bottles and put them on the counter, in front of the same cashier.)

    Cashier: *smiling widely* “It’s on the house.”

    Me: “Oh, wow! Thank you!”

    (As my mom and I are walking away with our drinks.)

    Mom: “He didn’t let you pay for the drinks?”

    Me: “Nope!”

    Mom: “Why?”

    Me: “Because he’s a fellow brony. It’s an automatic bond between us, even though we’ll probably never see each other again. Bronies care about each other, and since we had already paid for our drinks, he didn’t want to make us pay for anything else.”

    Mom: *confused* “Oh… seems odd to me.”

    Me: “That’s because you’re not part of the herd.”

    Seasonings Greetings

    | Canada | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (It’s Christmas time, and I am tasked with handing out free bags of popcorn to shoppers.)

    Manager: “Hey, I just got a complaint from a customer that this batch was too salty. Maybe cut it back a bit, then customers who want more salt can add it themselves.”

    Me: “Sure, not a problem!”

    (A couple batches later of adding barely any salt, an angry customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “What the f*** is this?!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “What, is there a shortage on salt or are you just being cheap?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, but some customers don’t like much salt on their popcorn, and it’s easier to add more than it is to remove it after the fact. If you’d like more salt you’re welcome to add more.”

    Customer: “This is f***ing bulls***! I shouldn’t have to add my own f***ing salt to my popcorn! I pay good money here!”

    (Thankfully, my manager overhears this and walks up.)

    Manager: *to the customer* “What money? You came to me earlier and complained the free popcorn you got was too salty. I asked my associate to cut back while you loitered around the store for half an hour, picked up another free bag only to complain again!”

    Customer: *turns red and leaves*


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