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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    A Good Customer Is A Fresh Breath Of Air

    , | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I enter a local fast food place. There’s only one customer ahead of me standing to the side. Just as I get to the counter to place my order he’s given an order of french fries. He lets out an incredibly loud and dramatic sigh, then proceeds to yell at the woman who gave them to him.)

    Customer: “You know, you should just LISTEN to your customers!”

    Employee: “What’s wrong, sir?”

    Customer: “I said I wanted the FRESH ONES!”

    Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I wasn’t told. That batch just came out a minute ago. It’s still hot from the fryer.”

    Customer: “I KNOW THAT! I specifically said I wanted the fresh batch you were working on!

    Employee: “All right. Again, I didn’t know that, sir. I’m sorry. I’ll take those back and the other ones will be right up.”

    Customer: “It’s just that you should LISTEN TO THE CUSTOMER! When he ASKS for something he should GET IT!”

    (By this point all other conversation in the front of the restaurant has stopped and everyone – customers and employee alike – are staring at the man who’s still raising a fuss over something that has essentially already been resolved. He grabs his tray and stomps over to the far side of the counter, standing there with arms folded and huffing like someone a tenth his age. I finally step up to the register.)

    Me: “Yes, I’ll have the [combo meal], and I’d like my soda made FRESH, please. Mix the syrup up yourself. And if you could take a straw and blow the bubbles into it right in front of me that would be great!”

    (The other customer apparently didn’t hear me but at least I got a laugh out of the crew and the other people in line!)

    How To Make Your Cake Extra ‘Special’

    | NC, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I am helping a customer place an order for two cakes.)

    Me: “Okay, that’s about everything. Did you want anything written on the cakes?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure.” *turns to his wife* “Honey, what should I have written on the cakes? How about ‘Pot’ on one and ‘Luck’ on the other since it’s a potluck?”

    Customer’s Wife: “Are you asking if I think you should have ‘Pot’ written on a cake?”

    Customer: “Good point. No, nothing written on them.”

    Me: “Sounds like a good choice.”

    Doesn’t Have A Thought For Food

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I have worked at this restaurant for three years, but for the past six months I have only worked on Sundays. I am covering a shift for a coworker on a Saturday, a day when all of the hamburgers on the menu are half price.)

    Me: “Is everybody ready to order?”

    Customer: “Well, I get the same thing every week but, since apparently you’re new, I guess I’ll have to order today.”

    (I decided it wasn’t worth arguing that I most definitely wasn’t new.)

    Me: “Okay… What would you like?”

    Customer: “I want it medium well, with fries extra crispy.”

    Me: “What is it that you want medium well?”

    Customer: “My hamburger.”

    Me: “Which hamburger would you like?”

    Customer: “The same one I always get!”

    Me: “I understand that ma’am, but as you already mentioned, I haven’t served you before so I don’t know what you usually order.”

    Customer: “Fine!” *to her husband* “What do I usually get?”

    Husband: *shrugs*

    Customer: “Ugh. I just want a regular burger medium well!”

    Me: “Okay, so a plain hamburger medium well with extra crispy fries.”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want a plain hamburger!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What did you want on your burger?”

    Customer: “Cheese!”

    Me: “Okay. What kind of cheese?”

    Customer: “Swiss!”

    Me: “Okay so that’s a Swiss cheeseburger medium well?”

    Customer: “And bacon!”

    Me: “Okay, so a bacon cheeseburger with Swiss and extra crispy fries?”

    Customer: “Yes! Was that so hard?!”

    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 11

    , | Red Deer, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am taking orders on drive thru.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hey! So, I hear you guys have hickory-smoked bacon! This is true, right? You have bacon?”

    Me: “Yes, we do. It can be added to any sandwich or baked goo—”

    Customer: “No, no, I just want bacon. Bacon!”

    Me: “Just bacon alone?”

    Customer: “Yeah! Lots of bacon!”

    Me: “So, would 10 slices be okay?”

    Customer: “No, make it 20! 30! Lots of bacon!”

    (I give him his total and he drives up to the window. I go wait by soup and sandwich for his order to be ready.)

    Coworker: “30 slices of bacon on the side? On the side of what?”

    Me: “…Just bacon. 30 slices of bacon.”

    (My coworker stares blankly at me before wrapping 30 slices of bacon in a sandwich bag and giving it to me, shaking her head. I take the bacon to the window and my other coworker gives it to him.)

    Customer: “Thanks, man! Gotta have my bacon!” *drives off*

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    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 6
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 5
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 4
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 3
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 2
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility

    A Hearty Breakfast

    | Stuart, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Ms. [Name], I need to take your vital signs. Your heart monitor is alarming.”

    Patient: “Do you ALWAYS interrupt people when they are eating their breakfast?!”

    Me: “Yes. This is a hospital, not a hotel. The vitals are more important right now than your breakfast.”

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