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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Not As Happy As A Clam

    | ME, USA | Awesome Workers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (My friend and I are at a local market picking up chicken for her graduation party. While we’re waiting to pay, the phone rings and the cashier has to answer.)

    Cashier: “Good afternoon… I’m afraid we are sold out of clams right now… well we get a shipment in tomorrow afternoon… tomorrow afternoon… no we are sold out right now… yes we get some tomorrow afternoon… around 1 pm or so… uhm we’ll have them until they’re sold out… no we are sold out right now… why? It’s been very busy with the warm weather.” *sighs* “Tomorrow afternoon… well, I’m really sorry that we don’t have any right now, but we’ve sold out. Okay there’s a seafood store in town, bye.”

    (The cashier hangs up and looks annoyed.)

    Cashier: “Sorry… just the chicken?”

    Friend: *jokingly* “Yes but do you have clams?”

    Cashier: “Get out.”

    Friend: “But whhhyyy! I want some noooooooowww!”

    Cashier: “Well you’re gonna have to wait; sucks to be you!”

    Friend: “You wanted to say that to the person on the phone didn’t you?”

    Cashier: “You have no idea.”

    Give Them An Inch And They’ll Drive A Mile

    | Aurora, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m a shift manager at a pizza chain. There are other stores miles away from us, and we all have our own areas that we deliver to. The areas don’t overlap, and we can’t deliver somewhere outside our area.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [pizza place]; how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Delivery.”

    Me: “Okay, can I get your phone number please?”

    (The caller gives me a phone number and I can see we’ve never taken an order from him before, at least not under that number. I ask for his name, and he gives it to me.)

    Me: “Can I have your address please?”

    (He gives me an address, which I recognize to be in another store’s area.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; your address is in another store’s delivery area. I can give you their number, it’s—”

    Caller: “But I called THIS store.”

    Me: “Yes, but we can’t deliver to you. However, [sister store name] can. I have their—”

    Caller: “Why can’t you deliver to me?”

    Me: “All of our stores in the region have specific areas that they can deliver to. You’re in another store’s area.”

    Caller: “Well, can you just put a different address in and then deliver it to my address?”

    Me: “No, sir, we can’t do that for safety reasons. I’d be happy to give you the other store’s number, though.”

    Caller: “What, do you think I’m going to rob you? I want to speak to a manager!”

    Me: “Speaking. I’m the manager on duty tonight.”

    Caller: “No, you’re not. Last time I called I talked to a guy.”

    Me: “We have more than one manager working here; I just happen to be working tonight.”

    Caller: “Oh. Well, what if I gave the driver more money? Then could you deliver to me?”

    Me: “No, we still can’t.”

    Caller: “Fine! This is horrible service! I’m going to call and complain about you!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. I can give you our 1-800 numbe—”

    Caller: “I’ll just come pick it up. I want a large pepperoni.”

    Me: “Sir, the other store is closer to you; I’d be happy to give you their number.”

    Caller: “No! You’re just being lazy! I want a large pepperoni!”

    (I give up and take the customer’s order. A while later he shows up and asks for his order. I get his order and go to cash him out.)

    Caller: “I want a discount for having to drive so far! You guys should build a store closer to me!”

    Me: “I’m not giving you a discount; I’m the one who took your order, and I tried to give you the number of a store that’s closer to you several times!”

    Caller: “Oh. Well… you should have been clear about it!”

    He Only Wants The White Meat

    , | Manchester, England, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

    (I am working on a till at a popular fast food restaurant, where we serve fried chicken. One of the more popular drinks is a white chocolate milkshake. I have just finished handing out an order when a father and his son come up to the counter.)

    Me: “Hi there! Welcome to [name of restaurant]. Can I take your order?”

    Father: “Yes. Can I have a white chocolate chicken meal and a fried milkshake?”

    Me: *thinking I’ve misheard* “I’m very sorry; what did you say?”

    Father: *irritated* “A white chocolate chicken meal, and a fried milkshake!”

    (I look at the son, and we both exchange puzzled looks.)

    Father: “Look, it’s just a white chocolate chicken meal and a fried milkshake! What’s so hard—”

    (The son bursts out laughing; the father looks down confused.)

    Father: “What? You did want a white choco—”

    Son: “Dad! Think about what you just said!”

    Father: “I remember! A white chocolate chi—”

    (He suddenly realizes what he has said before, and covers his eyes with his hand.)

    Father: “I didn’t just say that, did I?”

    Son: “You did!”

    Father: “Very sorry about that. A white chocolate MILKSHAKE, and a fried chicken meal, please?”

    The Cake Is A Lie, Part 4

    | WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My grocery store bakery has started a new display in our chilled sweets case, showcasing a whole cake on a pedestal with a slice of it on a plate, along with it’s price on a tag that is clearly labeled ‘Display Only’. These cakes, since they are clearly not sold, are not changed out very often. I notice that one of the plates is behind the display cake, which I find odd. My manager also notices and laughs.)

    Manager: “Did you notice this?”

    (My manager holds up the slice that had been placed in back of the display.)

    Me: “Oh yeah, I noticed it was in an odd spot. What’s up with it?”

    (My manager brings the plate over to show me. The piece of cake has a bite taken out of it, and the fork displayed along with it is dirty.)

    Manager: “A customer must have tried to eat it!”

    Me: “Wow, those cakes have been in there for ever!”

    (To prove a point, my manager takes the fork, and pokes at the cake. It is quite literally rock solid; it even sounds rock solid.)

    Manager: “They didn’t get very far! They must have taken that one little bite and realized it was inedible.”

    Me: “How the heck did they get to it?”

    Manager: “Well, the front window does swing open with some effort for cleaning but…”

    Me: *laughs again* “I know it says ‘display’, but come on. Display does not mean ‘sample’!”

    (We can only guess that a customer tried it after the bakery closed for the day!)

    Related:
    The Cake Is A Lie, Part 3
    The Cake Is A Lie, Part 2

    Modern Scammers Work Double Time

    , | WI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (I’m a crew member at a fast food joint, while my uncle is the general manager at a sit down restaurant across the street. I’m working drive thru.)

    Customer: “Hi, I just came through a few minutes ago, and my burger was all wrong, plus my fries were cold.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. Just come up to the window, and we’ll get it all fixed up.”

    (She pulls up, and I don’t recognize her at all. I don’t see a bag from us in her car either.)

    Customer: “I also didn’t get my soda either.”

    (Now I know she’s lying, because I’ve been in drive thru all day, and I never poured an extra soda. My manager just says screw it and give her what she wants. After I got off, I went up to my uncle’s restaurant to sit and chat. I tell him about the woman.)

    Me: “I would have noticed someone wearing fleece pants in this heat!”

    Uncle: “Uh… I’m pretty sure she came here.

    Me: “WHAT!”

    Uncle: “This lady came in. She was wearing fleece pants and a college sweatshirt. I see her looking at a menu. I speak up, and she says her salad was wrong and her wings were cold. I don’t recognize her from before. I ask for a receipt, and she doesn’t have one. I ask what kind of salad and what kind of wings. She looks at the menu for a few more minutes. I just wanted to get her out because we had big orders in the kitchen. So she got about $25 out of me.”

    Me: “You did better than me! She got $7 from us! Did you forget her soda?”

    Uncle: “YES! Yes, we did!”

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