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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    This Diet Is Really Going Against The Grain

    | MN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Excuse me. You used to stock a drink in the cooler. It was tea. It had no carbs.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We probably don’t have any more. Sometimes they cycle out drinks that don’t sell very well.”

    Customer: “It was tea. It had no carbs.”

    Me: “I think I know the one you’re thinking of. If it’s not in there, then we’re out. We have some iced tea brewed up if you would like to try that.”

    Customer: “How do I know that it doesn’t have carbs?”

    Me: “I brewed it myself. I can promise you that there are no carbs.”

    Customer: “I want the other tea! You know that soda in there has 33 carbs! You should really stock more options for customers who don’t want to have so many carbs.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to give you some of our iced tea, or some water.”

    Customer: “Ugh! I don’t want any of that. I want the old tea.”

    Me: “Sorry! Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yes! I’ll have a large cookie.”

    They Read A Pizza My Mind

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    Me: *taking an order over the phone* “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello. I would like to order two large pizzas, and I want the first one with sausage.”

    Me: “Okay, and what would you like for the second one?”

    Caller: “I don’t know. Surprise me.”

    (I am almost about to do just that. All of a sudden I hear a second person on the other line.)

    Second Person: “DON’T SAY THAT! HE PROBABLY WILL SURPRISE YOU!”

    Caller: “Okay. Sorry. Make that second one pepperoni.”

    Me: “What’s the matter? Don’t you like anchovies?”

    This Argument Is Short And Sweet

    | Lee's Summit, MO, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I work in a Mexican restaurant. I’m getting the drink order.)

    Customer: “I’ll have a sweet tea.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We only have unsweetened tea, but we have different sweeteners available at the table here.”

    Customer: “Not having sweet tea is un-American!”

    Me: “Sir, this is a Mexican restaurant.”

    Customer: “…touché.”

    Enough To Split Your Sides

    | WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A waitress is taking my father-in-law’s order, which comes with a choice of side dish.)

    Waitress: “And what would you like, sir?”

    Father-In-Law: “Filet mignon, please.”

    Waitress: “And how would you like that cooked?”

    Father-In-Law: “Medium, please.”

    Waitress: “And which side?”

    Father-In-Law: “Both.”

    Don’t Even Want To Know What A Milkshake Is

    | Lafeyette, LA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (My store is selling goodie bags of various candies as stocking stuffers. One of the candies we use are colorful chocolate-flavored spheres a little smaller than gumballs. We use only white ones for the goodie bags. The label refers to them as ‘snowman poop,’ with a little poem about how the child it’s for has been naughty. A couple roaming the store have caught sight of the goodie bags, and the man is particularly interested in the snowman poop.)

    Man: “Snowman poop? It’s normally marshmallows… He must have been constipated!”

    (I double over laughing, and the man begins cheering for himself for having caused such a reaction.)

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