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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Allergic To Common Sense

    | Citrus Heights, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “‘Strawberries Wild’ for [name]! ‘Strawberries Wild’ for [name]!” *customer comes up* “Hey, here’s your ‘Strawberries Wild’.”

    Customer: “This doesn’t have strawberries in it, does it? I’m deathly allergic to strawberries.”

    Me: *blink* “…Let me make you a new smoothie…”

    Fresh Bread, Stale Attitude

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I work at a piroshky bakery and have just started my morning shift. A customer comes in with a very obnoxious, self-important attitude.)

    Me: “Good morning, sir! What can I get for you today?”

    Self-important Customer: “What’s your freshest thing?”

    Me: “Well, we just opened so everything is fresh out of the oven. I could warm one up if it’s not warm enough for you.”

    Self-important Customer: *shakes his head* “No, I don’t want it warmed up.”

    (He looks behind me to our rack where we put our piroshkies until we need to set them out.)

    Self-important Customer: *points to rack* “What’s that there on the top?”

    Me: “Those are our potato mushrooms, sir, although they’ve been out of the oven about the same time as our others so it’d be easier if I just got you one from—”

    Self-important Customer: “No, I want one from back there.”

    (I mentally sigh but go ahead and do as he asks since it’s a slow morning and there’s only a couple people in line. I turn to grab his order but he stops me.)

    Self-important Customer: “Wait!” *points at rack again* “What are those?”

    (There are at least 7 different types of piroshkies on the rack.)

    Me: “Um, which ones, sir?”

    Self-important Customer: “Those ones!”

    (I look at him quizzically.)

    Self-important Customer: “The ones on the second row!”

    Me: “Oh, those are our Moscows. They’ve got Bavarian cream and Cream of Wheat in it which gives it—”

    Self-important Customer: “I’ll take one of those.”

    (We haven’t set one out yet, so my supervisor has to take out the whole pan and sprinkle powdered sugar on it. I grab everything for him and bag it up.)

    Me: “All right, sir. Is there anything else I can get for you?”

    Self-important Customer: “No, that’ll be all.”

    (He pays and leaves. I run through a couple more customers until I get to a young guy.)

    Young Guy: *saunters up to the counter* “Hey so, uh, what’s the freshest thing you got here?”

    Me: “Pretty much everything just came out the oven.”

    Young Guy: “Yeah, but I want really fresh, and like, potato mushroom.”

    (I sort of stare at him then move to grab a potato mushroom. He starts laughing.)

    Young Guy: “I’m just kidding with you, man. Did you see that guy?” *begins to imitate him* “I want the freshest thing you got!” *goes back to normal* “You’re in a bakery in the morning, man, everything’s fresh!”

    (At this point everyone in the bakery is laughing. I get his order, still chuckling, and bag everything up for him.)

    Me: “That’s going to be [price], please.”

    (He pays and my supervisor steps up.)

    Supervisor: “Wait, give him one for free. That was too funny!”

    The Darkest Coffee Lightens The Mood

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (We’ve just opened and I already have a long line, which is being held up by a customer whose drink I’ve remade three times, but he’s still not pleased. He’s been yelling at me for the last three minutes, and the entire line is started to get annoyed.)

    Customer #1: “How hard is it to make a d*** drink?”

    Me: “Sir, I’ve made your drink exactly how I was taught. If you would just—”

    Customer #1: “Then I guess you’re too f***ing stupid to make it right!”

    (He grows increasingly belligerent, swearing at me for another minute or so. However, Customer #2, a woman behind him, has had enough. She grabs him by the shoulder and physically turns him to look at her.)

    Customer #2: “Shut. The. F***. Up! I just had a f***ing baby! I’m on my period and PMS-ing! And I haven’t slept for three f***ing days! You are getting in between me and my coffee. Now take your d*** sissy drink and get the f*** out of my way, before I get angry!”

    (Everyone in the store is stunned at her outburst.)

    Customer #1: “But she didn’t—”

    Customer #2: *through her teeth* “She. Made. It. Right. LEAVE.”

    (He takes his drink and slinks out of the store. Everyone is still in shock when Customer #2 walks up to the counter.)

    Me: “Wha-what can I get you, ma’am?”

    Customer #2: “Large. Black.”

    Me: “Would you—”

    Customer #2: “No.”

    (I make her drink as quickly as is possible. I give her a smile as I hand it to her.)

    Me: “Have a wonderful day, and may I just say you look fantastic for just having had a baby.”

    Customer #2: *much sweeter now* “Thank you. You have a good day, too.”

    (She left a $20 tip!)

    Tray Fray

    , | Burlington, VT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (Due to new public safety standards, we now have to machine wash all dirty trays instead of merely wiping them down with a disinfectant and paper towel.)

    Me: “You’re order will be right out, ma’am. Thank you.”

    (My coworker brings out her bag of food.)

    Customer: “I said I wanted this for here.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but as I mentioned all our trays are dirty and we’re only bagging the food at the moment. You’re more than welcome to eat in the lobby if you’d like, but we can’t offer you a tray.”

    Customer: “What about those?” *points to dirty pile of trays over a trash can* “Can’t I just have one of those?”

    Me: “Uh, no ma’am. Those are all dirty trays. I can’t give you any of those.”

    Customer: “Just wipe one down; it’ll be fine.”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I can’t do that. It’s against health codes.”

    Customer: “Just wipe it down! You’re just being lazy!”

    (Note: the customer is getting so agitated that other customers are backing away from her.)

    Me: “No, I’m not. I’m really just waiting for the trays to be brought back up from the dish area. They’ll be clean soon.”

    Customer: “God, I can’t believe you’d be so rude and lazy not to give me a tray!”

    (Without warning, the customer throws her bag full of food at my face. It’s filled with cardboard sandwich boxes and hot fries inside, so she takes a solid chunk out of my cheek and I start bleeding.)

    Customer: “That’ll teach you to be rude to a customer!” *shoves two customers out of the way and leaves*

    Acting An Oaf About The Loaf

    | Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (It has snowed quite severely in our area so today. We are short on staff and no deliveries have been able to reach us.)

    Customer: “You’ve run out of bread.”

    Me: “Yes, I’m terribly sorry; there is no fresh bread. All I can do is recommend some of our pre-mixed bread flour. You just add water and bake.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’ve run out of bread. I came here especially.”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, I appreciate that, but our delivery lorry got stuck. I am sorry, but there’s very little I can do to assist you.”

    Customer: “But you’re [supermarket]! You should never run out of bread.”

    Me: “Ma’am, like I said, the roads are impassable. Our lorry couldn’t get here. I normally work at another store, but I couldn’t drive there today, so I am helping out here. Do you mind if I ask whether you walked or drove in?”

    Customer: “Well, I walked of course. Have you seen the roads? It would be like driving on pure white death out there.”

    Me: “Exactly.”

    (I give her time to process this information, bearing in mind what I have said about the delivery drivers.)

    Customer: *walks off, muttering* “…can’t believe [supermarket] has no bread!”


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