Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Great Minds Think Alike

| GA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(I am working in a fast food sub shop when a nice regular walks in. Behind in line are a small child and his mother.)

Me: “A cheesesteak sandwich with no onions and a medium drink, [Regular]?”

Regular: “As always.” *pays and leaves*

Small Child: “You knew exactly what that guy wanted! Do you READ MINDS?! Tell me what I want to eat!”

(The mother mouths to me behind her son’s back.)

Me: “You want a… peanut butter and jelly sandwich!”

Small Child: “Well… what kind of jelly do I want?”

(The mother mouths to me again.)

Me: “Hmm… grape!”

Small Child: “Wow, you do read minds! Mommy, she reads minds!”

Pay It Forward, Driving Backwards

, | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Religion, Top

(I’m working the drive-through at my restaurant. A customer drives up.)

Customer #1: “Can I have a small [soda], please?”

Me: “That will be [amount]. Please pull forward.”

(The customer pulls up to the window and I hand her the drink. She hands me cash to pay for it.)

Customer #1: “Do you take personal checks?”

Me: “Uh, yes, we do, but you’ve already paid in cash, ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Yes. I want to pay for the next person in line, too.”

Me: “You want to pay for the next person?”

Customer #1: “My pastor challenged everyone at my church to perform an act of kindness this week. So I’ll just sign a blank check and you can write in how much the next person’s order costs. Is that okay?”

Me: “Hang on. I should probably check with my manager.”

(I explain the customer’s request to the manager, who looks a bit confused, but says we can do that.)

Me: “The manager says it’s okay, ma’am.”

Customer #1: “Great!”

(She signs a blank check and hands it to me, along with a religious tract.)

Customer #1: “Could you just let the next person know it’s all taken care of, and please give them that pamphlet, too?”

Me: “Yes, I certainly will.”

(She cheerfully drives away, saying ‘bless you.’ A few minutes later, the next customer comes through the drive-through.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, can I get a [sandwich combo] with a large [soda]?”

Me: “[Sandwich combo] with a large [soda]. Yes, sir. Please pull forward.”

Customer #2: *pulling up to the window* “You didn’t tell me how much it was back there.”

Me: “Well, you don’t have to worry about that, sir. The lady who came through the drive-through before you wrote out a check to take care of the next person’s order. She said she’d pay for it.”

Customer #2: “What? You’re joking.”

Me: “I swear.”

Customer #2: “How could she know how much my order would be?”

Me: “She left the amount line empty for me to fill in the cost of your order.”

Customer #2: “Well, s***, son! In that case, give me TWO [sandwich combos], four [sandwiches], four [other sandwiches], another large fries, a 20-piece [chicken nuggets], an apple pie, and a $50 gift certificate!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer #2: “It’s a blank check, right? So just write what I f****** asked for.”

Me: “Hang on a minute.”

(My manager has been listening over my shoulder. He gives me a resigned shrug and tells me to do it. With all the items the customer asked for, the total is over $100. As I hand the customer his huge order, I also hand him the religious tract the woman gave me.)

Me: “She also asked me to give you this pamphlet, sir.”

Customer #2: *looking at it for two seconds before tossing it into his back seat* “Hah! Joke’s on her! I’m already a Christian!”

(I can still hear him laughing as he pulls away.)

Separate Yourself From Sense

| Madison, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work as a cashier.)

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to do two separate transactions.”

Me: “No problem!”

(The customer divides her groceries into two piles. I finish the first, total it, and she pays. I begin to ring up the second order.)

Customer: “WHAT are you doing?!”

Me: “Uh… I just completed your first order, so now I’m doing your second.”

Customer: “But WHY did you separate them?”

Me: “Because… you told me to?”

(At this point, the customer behind her starts giggling.)

Customer: “… Oh.”

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait On

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(It is my first ever shift at my first ever job. The restaurant I work in is known as a ‘Halfway Point’ as we’re between two towns. We get a lot of tourists and that night have been busy. I’d just given a customer his meal.)

Me: “Here we are, sir. One [Meal] for yourself and a [Meal] for the lovely lady! Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, I wanna know why it’s taken 40 f****** minutes for my meal to get here!”

(Note: Even though I had only just started, I knew there hadn’t been more than a 15-minute wait for meals, and with 68 tables full that was very fast.)

Me: *a little frightened, but trying to stay calm* “I- I’m very sorry for your wait, sir. I hope you understand we’re very busy. I- I’ll even s-see if I can get you both a free drink to make up for wait.”

Customer: “I don’t give a s*** about that. I want to know why you’re so f****** useless, you f****** b****! Look at you. You’re a f****** w****! Take my order right next time, c***!”

Me: “I- I’m very s-sorry, s-sir. I’ll b-be r-right back with my m-manager for you!”

(At this point I run into the kitchen and staff area crying from the string of abuse I’d just been given. Luckily, my manager and my brother, also on shift with me, both see me, and after a quick explanation they nod and tell me to join them with the customer. We all walk to the customer’s table.)

Manager: “Hello, sir. I’m going to have to ask you to pay and leave my restaurant immediately.”

Customer: “What!? I haven’t even eaten yet! Your staff made me wait nearly an hour for my order. It’s cold!”

Manager: “I am aware you haven’t eaten yet, sir, and your food is most certainly not cold as there was barely even a 15 minute wait on food. I will not tolerate you abusing my staff, who also happens to be the younger sister of this gentleman here.” *points to my brother*

Brother: *smiling and folding his arms* “We both know you wouldn’t like the option of you refusing to pay, sir. Also, you made her cry. She started this very job only 10 minutes before serving you, so I recommend you do as [Manager] asks!”

(Thankfully, the customer quickly abandons his meal, pays up, and drags his girlfriend out with him! Later, the customer’s girlfriend comes back in.)

Customer’s Girlfriend: *walks up to my brother at the bar* “Hi, I was in here earlier. I wanted to apologise for my boyfriend’s behaviour earlier.”

Brother: “Thank you very much. [My Name] will feel a lot better hearing that later. She has Asperger’s and taking this job is a very big step for her. She can take things as personal attacks.”

Customer’s Girlfriend: “I’m so sorry! Please tell her he ended up walking home after tonight! Please give her a big hug from me!”

(The best part? The customer’s girlfriend insisted on giving a £50 tip! I shared it between all my coworkers and we ended up having a nice dinner after close and a drink each! I left that job a couple of months later after fracturing a hip but continue to be a regular there. I usually buy them all a round of drinks for helping me get through that first night!)

Getting A Man-Handle On Your Words

| Flagstaff, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I am a woman, and I am cashiering at a grocery store that is conducting a charitable fund drive. I am packing a chatty man’s groceries into his backpack.)

Man: “Look at how you just get that all in there! You’re really man-handling that stuff!”

Me: *packing the last two things, which are pieces of fruit* “Oh, but I don’t want to man-handle your peaches.”

Man: “I don’t want to man-handle your peaches.”

(I splutter and stare at this, torn between outrage and hilarity.)

Man: “I’m sorry.” *as if to himself* “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

Me: “To make it up to me, you will donate to our fundraiser.”

Man: “Deal.”

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