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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Long Shifts Can Make You Crackers

    | Louisville, KY, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    (I am fairly new at running the fitting room, which consists of answering the phone and unlocking the fitting room doors so people can try on clothes. Today has been particularly stressful as all five lines are ringing, and I have a crowd waiting to try things on. Finally, I get the phones answered and people into the rooms. One woman is waiting for her husband to try on pants.)

    Wife: “Long day?”

    Me: “Yeah, this is the first time I’ve been alone on the phones at a busy time.”

    Wife: “You look a little pale and shaky. Are you feeling okay?”

    Me: “I forgot to eat before I came in. When my coworker gets back I get to go on break, though.”

    Wife: “Want me to buy you a pack of crackers or something?”

    Me: *stunned* “Oh, it’s fine! Thank you so much, but I’m okay!”

    (She continues to offer while I decline. Her husband makes the same offer when he comes out, having heard the conversation. I decline again as my coworker comes back. I bought myself something to eat, but I was so touched by their generosity!)

    Cold Hard Cash(iers)

    | GA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (My mother is a cashier at a popular liquor store. I stop by to drop off her lunch. The credit card machines have shut down and the manager is in the back trying to get them running. The employees have let their customers know they will have to pay cash until then. Some customers leave for another store; most went next door to the bank ATM to get cash. One customer, however, isn’t particularly happy about this.)

    Customer: “So, you’re telling me I have to walk all the way over to the ATM to get cash?”

    (Note: the bank is right next door.)

    Mom: “I’m sorry, sir, but the credit card machine is down for the moment. You can go to the ATM or go to another store.”

    Customer: *scoffs* “Fine.”

    (He leaves the store, and comes back a few minutes later with cash in his hand.)

    Customer: “I had to pay three dollars to get money out of that ATM! I better get a discount!”

    Mom: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t have that authority.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! I better get one!”

    (He picks up a $50 Scotch and returns to my mom’s register; she rings him up.)

    Customer: “Hey, you didn’t give me my discount!”

    Mom: “Sir, I’m sorry but I can’t give you three dollars off because you made the choice to go to the ATM.”

    Customer: “B****, give me three dollars off!”

    (The store goes absolutely silent, and everyone is watching the exchange.)

    Me: “Don’t talk to my mother that way.”

    Mom: “I’ll tell you what I can do.” *takes scotch and puts it under her stand* “I can refuse to sell this to you.”

    Customer: “I want to see your manager!”

    Mom: “Fine.” *calls manager*

    Manager: *comes over* “What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “Your employee said, and I quote, “I won’t sell you s***!”

    Me: “No, she didn’t!”

    Mom: “Sir, I did not use that language towards you.”

    Customer #2: “I’m a witness, and she didn’t say that.”

    Customer: “I WANT A DISCOUNT!”

    Manager: “Sir, leave. Now.”

    Customer: “Give me my discount!”

    Manager: “If you don’t leave right now I will call the cops.”

    Customer: “Fine, call the cops! I don’t care!”

    (The manager, Customer #2 and I, pull out our cell phones.)

    Customer: “I’m never coming back!” *runs out of the store*

    Me: “What was his problem?”

    Customer #2: “That guy needs to pull up his skirt.” *smiles at my mom* “I’ll keep coming back for the wonderful customer service, and tough-as-nails cashiers!”

    Tip Of The Entree Iceberg

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (It is a busy Saturday night. During the dinner rush, I have been dealing with a table of two 20-something year old men. The blonde one has found something to complain about every time I’ve walked by while the brown-haired one just blushes and stays quiet. They’ve finished their meal.)

    Blonde Man: “Are you new here?”

    Me: “No, sir. I’ve been a waitress here for two years and three years at [other restaurant] prior.”

    Blonde Man: “Then you have no excuse for how terrible this service was. The salad was wilty, and the entree was way too cold, and you were nowhere to be found. Plus, this place is far too noisy; I could barely hear myself speak! Honestly, I get better service at a fast food place.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. While there isn’t much I can do about the noise, I did offer to bring you different food before, but you said no.”

    Blonde Man: *waves me off* “Just bring me the check, and try not to be so slow about it for once.”

    (I go and get the check, but when I return, the brown-haired man stands up and hands me a $20 bill.)

    Brown-haired Man: “Here, this is your tip. He wasn’t going to give you one. As a former waiter myself, I thought you were doing a perfectly fine job. My food was great, and the service was fast even though you’re so busy right now.”

    (He turns to his blonde companion.)

    Brown-haired Man: “People like you made my job so much worse, especially for making us work that much harder for no tip. So thanks for the meal, but you can go ahead and delete my number because there will be no second date. And by the way, potjevleesch is supposed to be served cold, you idiot.”

    (With that, he left the restaurant without his date. It made the whole night worth it, to see that blonde man speechless for once.)

    He Said Water But With No Proof

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Can I have a Cranberry Vodka?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I make the drink by pouring the vodka in first and then adding cranberry juice. Pretty simple.)

    Customer: “Why did you put all that water in my drink?”

    Me: “Water?”

    Customer: “Yeah, the clear liquid you poured in the cup.”

    Me: “That’s the vodka.”

    Customer: “Oh, this is gonna be a long night…”

    Allergic To Common Sense

    | Citrus Heights, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “‘Strawberries Wild’ for [name]! ‘Strawberries Wild’ for [name]!” *customer comes up* “Hey, here’s your ‘Strawberries Wild’.”

    Customer: “This doesn’t have strawberries in it, does it? I’m deathly allergic to strawberries.”

    Me: *blink* “…Let me make you a new smoothie…”


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