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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Drinking Responsibly

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (While perusing the selection of beer at my local grocery store, I cannot help but notice the enormous, brightly-colored signs posted on every available surface which proclaim: “WE CARD EVERYONE”. After choosing what I want, I head for the checkout, being sure to get my ID out along with my credit card.)

    Me: “Just this, thanks.”

    (The employee looks at me nervously. I’m 29, but look a good bit younger.)

    Employee: “Now because this is alcoholic, ma’am, I am going to need to see your ID.”

    Me: “Of course, got it right here.”

    (The employee blinks in surprise, then smiles enormously and happily rings up my six-pack of hard cider.)

    Me: “Do people really give you that hard a time about this? You have huge red and yellow signs EVERYWHERE. Not to mention it’s kind of, you know, the law?”

    Employee: “Honey, you have no idea. Thank you for being smart. Here’s your receipt, and I hope you really enjoy that!”

    Needs To Stop And Take A Minute

    , | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work at a fast food chain, where most of the food just needs to be assembled on order. However, some items are rarely ordered, so we don’t prepare them since we’d have to throw them out if nobody purchases it within a certain time. It normally takes five to seven minutes to cook these items.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like a [food item], please.”

    Me: “Sure, that’ll be [total].”

    Customer: *hands money* “Thank you.”

    Me: “No, problem, here’s your change. Just wait over there until your order is ready.”

    (The manager comes over as I’m making drinks for the customer.)

    Manager: “Did you inform the customer that there will be a five minute wait on [food item]?”

    Me: “I wasn’t aware there was, but I’ll let him know.”

    Manager: “It’s fine. I’ll talk to him; you’re busy.” *to customer* “Excuse me, sir, did you order [food item]?”

    Customer: *irritated* “Yeah, what’s the problem?”

    Manager: “We have to make that item fresh, so it’ll be about five minutes. Is that alright?”

    Customer: “No, it’s not f****** alright! You should have told me earlier. Now I don’t f****** want it!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. I told you as soon as I found out. If you like, I can offer you a refund, or you can have something else.”

    Customer: “F****** h***. Can’t you do anything right?! I’m not going to f****** wait for my d*** food.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir; it’s not my fault. I’ve given you the option of getting a refund if you’d like one.”

    Cook: *yells to manager* “The [food item] is ready!”

    Manager: “I’m really sorry about the wait, sir, but your food is ready! Would you like it?”

    Customer: “No, just give me my f****** money back.”

    Manager: “It’s ready though. Wouldn’t you rather—”

    Customer: “I want my f****** money! This has been terrible service with your f****** smug tone and inconsiderate attitude. You think you’re better then me and can just f****** act that way!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry you feel that way; have a nice day.”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah, f*** you.” *stomps out with his money*

    Manager: *to me* “I’m going for a smoke.”

    A Drink Of Fire And Ice

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Would you like your drink hot or iced today, sir?”

    Customer: “Hmm?”

    Me: “You have the option of having your drink hot or over ice.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Do you want your drink iced or hot?”

    Customer: “I don’t know what that means.”

    Have Your Cake And Eat It

    | Canada | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working the counter at a bakery. An older customer comes up to order.)

    Customer: “Hi, can I get a chocolate croissant and red velvet cupcake please?”

    Me: “Oh, good choices! The red velvet cupcake is my favorite. I was actually going to get one on my break.”

    (I go to grab his order, and realize there’s only one cupcake left.)

    Me: “Lucky you, you got the last one!”

    Customer: “Oh… are you sure you don’t want it? I can get something else.”

    Me: “It’s okay, sir; that’s just the luck of the draw I guess.”

    (He reluctantly accepts. Once he pays for his food, he takes the cupcake and puts in on the counter.)

    Customer: “For you, my dear.”

    Me: “What? No sir, it’s really okay. I can always get one tomorrow!”

    Customer: “Well, I’m leaving it on the counter and walking away. What you do with it is up to you. Have a good day!”

    (True to his word, he leaves the store. I have to say it was the best cupcake I ever had!)

    In-Sip-Id Conversations

    | Birmingham, AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’ve just made some drinks for a group of older customers. I call out one of the drinks. One of the customers comes over and picks up the cup.)

    Customer: “Is this my drink?”

    Me: “I don’t know, ma’am. Did you have the [drink name]?”

    Customer: “I don’t know… I think so.”

    (She walks away with the drink; about a minute passes before she returns.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but I have a dumb question.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I just want to know: how many sips do I have to take before I get to the coffee?”

    Me: “…What?”

    Customer: “Well, I’ve been sipping on this for a little bit and I still haven’t tasted coffee.”

    Me: “Well, there’s whipped cream on top… I can scoop it off for you if you’d like.”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I just wanted to know!”

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