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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Preorder Disorder, Part 2

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a family style restaurant that offers free bread, salad, dessert, and tea or coffee with all entrees. One particular shift I’m notified I will be taking a birthday party of 15 kids, but they need to be out at a certain time for a movie. The group comes in 15 minutes past their reservation.)

    Mother: “Did you receive my preorder? I gave your manager our complete order so we can catch our movie on time.”

    Me: “Yes, I received it. The bread and waters are already on the table like you requested. I’m just about to bring out the salads, and the kitchen is already working on your order.”

    Mother: “Fine. But talk to the kids and see what else they want to drink. My son wants pop.”

    (She has me stand there reciting all of our drinks to the 15 boys multiple times, as they all choose different items. Before I walk away to make the drinks the mother speaks up.)

    Mother: “Excuse me? Why aren’t the salads out yet?”

    Me: “I was just going to get them before the boys needed more drinks. I didn’t see them on the preorder so they’ll have to be made now.”

    Mother: “You know we’re trying to catch a movie don’t you?!”

    (I quickly bring out the salads, and rush the drinks out to all the boys. Before I can go back to the kitchen to see how the meals are, I’m stopped again.)

    Mother: “As you know, we are in a rush, so my husband and I will have our teas right now. I prefer cream in my tea, my husband will take milk, but we want them both heated up.”

    Me: “Of course. I’ll be right back with them.”

    Mother: “Why haven’t you checked on our food yet?”

    (I go back to the kitchen and see the order is being finished. I have time to bring out the teas before I bring all of the food.)

    Me: “Here are your teas, and now I’ll go and get the meals.”

    Mother: “No, hold on. I want to order for me and my husband. We should eat something before the movie.”

    (It is a busy Saturday night, and the kitchen is backed up.)

    Mother: “We’ll have two steaks, medium, with a side of fries.”

    Me: “All right. I will put a rush on your order because I know you have to leave soon. But I should let you know steaks do take a bit longer to prepare.”

    Mother: “We ordered what we wanted! If we wanted something else we would have gotten that! Now where is their food?!”

    (I run back to the kitchen to place the rush order, and bring out the boys’ food. Everything is handed out and fine, when I’m approached again.)

    Mother: “This pesto linguine for my son is nut free, correct? It was on the preorder that he is deathly allergic!”

    (I know there was nothing on the preorder about an allergy, and even show her the paper she gave us. I take the pesto linguine away since, obviously, there are nuts in it, and get him something nut free immediately.)

    Mother: “You need to be more careful! He almost ate that!”

    (By the time the boys are finished eating, plus the parents, and I’ve given them their desserts, it’s the time they should have left. The mother comes up to me and starts freaking out about the movie time.)

    Mother: “I can’t believe how unprofessional you are. You knew we had a movie to catch!”

    (They all leave 15 minutes later, and the mother doesn’t leave me a tip on a $250 bill. She talks to my manager on the way out.)

    Manager: *to me* “Hey, I want to talk to you. Thanks for handling that table so well! She comes in every year for her son’s birthday and pulls that crap. Don’t take her personally. We’ve all had to deal with her here. I just can’t believe you didn’t break down like a few of us did!”

    (A few people in the lobby who have been waiting for a table witnessed some of her pleasantries, and were seated in my section afterwards. They tipped very, very generously after seeing me cater to her every whim!)

    Related:
    Preorder Disorder

    The Very Picture Of Ignorance

    | USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (My mother’s never worked in customer service, so she is sometimes rude without meaning to. She has a photography hobby, and lately she’s been taking pictures of people without asking first. We’re at the drive thru getting food when she suddenly pulls out her camera.)

    Me: “Mom, don’t—”

    Mom: *click*

    Cashier: *blinded by the flash*

    Me: *to cashier* “Um, I’m sorry about that. Mom, you’re supposed to ask first, not just take a picture!”

    Mom: “It’s okay. People love to get pictures taken of them! I’m like a paparazzi! They feel like celebs!”

    Me: “No, they don’t. It’s rude!”

    Cashier: *rubbing eyes* “Here’s your food.” *hands over food*

    (My mom drove off without an apology and I saw, in the rearview mirror, the poor cashier still rubbing his eyes. Sorry, poor cashier!)

    His Table Lawsuit Won’t Have A Leg To Stand On

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

    (My family is out to dinner at a Chinese buffet. My boss texts me from the furniture store where I work. I’m known for getting the problem customers.)

    Boss: “You’re not allowed to sell to psychos anymore!”

    Me: “But they’re my best business! But, seriously. What happened?”

    (My boss proceeds to tell me about a customer that already harassed me three times the day before, as well as the customer service line several times, and tried to prevent our drivers from leaving his home after his delivery. His complaint was that his table was the wrong shade of brown.)

    Boss: “He sent me an email complaining that he’s talking to highly educated people about suing us.”

    Me: “Ha! His lawyer can call my lawyer! I’ll sue for harassment.”

    (I happen to open my fortune cookie at this point and start laughing. I send my boss a picture. The fortune reads ‘A judgment will rule in your favor.’)

    Me: “Fortune cookie says we can take him!”

    A Compete Idiot

    , | Liverpool, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Where do you keep [Competitor Store] branded beans, please?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, madam. We don’t carry our competitors lines. We only stock our own branded goods.”

    Customer: “That’s silly. You could make money selling other stores’ goods.”

    Me: “That’s an interesting concept. I wonder why no one has thought of it before?”

    Customer: “Well, it’s all the same stuff inside anyway. They just use their own brand labels.”

    Me: “In that case, would you like to try our own brand beans?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. I prefer [Competitor Brand] beans. They taste much nicer.”

    Pot Calling The Kettle Everything

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I work in a South American restaurant that tends to get a lot of Asian customers. Since I’m fluent in Mandarin Chinese, Korean, Khmer [Cambodian], and Tagalog [Philippines], I’m often called on to serve customers who don’t speak English. A group of seven customers come in.)

    Customer #1: *obviously struggling* “Can… I… has this?”

    Me: *taking a guess* *Mandarin* “Would you be more comfortable in Mandarin?”

    Customer #2: *Korean* “Stupid Mexicans. Can’t even tell the difference between a Korean and a Chinese man.”

    Me: *Korean* “I apologize, ma’am. I guessed based on [Customer #1]’s accent and it seems I was wrong. Can I take your order now?”

    Customer #3: *English* “No. I want to talk to your manager.”

    (I go back to get the manager, who is Peruvian.)

    Manager: “Can I help you?

    Customer #3: “Yes. I want to complain about your Mexican waiter’s horribly racist demeanor.”

    Manager: “How was he being racist? He’s usually very culturally sensitive.”

    Customer #4: “You Mexicans are all the same, never bothering to think that maybe there are more types of Asians than just Chinese people.”

    Manager: “First of all, your waiter is from Puerto Rico. I’m from Peru. So maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to complain about being unable to differentiate ethnicity.”

    Customer #3: “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

    (Sighing, my manager assigns a Chinese-American waiter to them. He can only speak English and ends up having to have customers 3 and 4 translate for the rest of their table in order to get their order. Amazingly, they never complained about the difficulty in ordering.)

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