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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    What Your Country Can Do For You

    | Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Military

    (I’m with my dad, who is an army vet, and three of my friends. My family has no money right now, so my friends are paying.)

    Waiter: “Here’s your bill. The couple over there paid for $50.”

    Paying Friend: “What?”

    Me: “What?”

    Waiter: “They didn’t tell you?”

    My Dad: “No, they didn’t.”

    Waiter: “They saw your vet hat, and said that they’ll pay for $50.”

    Me: “Faith in humanity is über restored!”

    (To that couple who paid for most of our meal, thank you. Your actions did more than you know for not just my family, but my friends as well. You are saints among men.)

    Drink To A Fine Resolution

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work as a bartender at a high end restaurant. I am currently working the bar alone with over 90 guests.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; I’d like to order!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I will be with you in a minute.”

    (The customer is obviously annoyed, but I have to continue. After about 30 seconds, he throws his debit card at me just as I pass him. I stop, pick it up, look at it, and throw it in the garbage bin behind me. I then continue to take orders.)

    Customer: “What the—did you just—”

    (I don’t say anything. I don’t even look at the customer as I finish pouring every one else their drinks. When he is the last one, I pick up the card from the bin and look him straight in the eyes.)

    Me: “Sir, I have three things to tell you. One, that was, by far, the rudest I have EVER been treated by a customer. Second, if I ever catch you doing that, I will talk to my boss and he will sort it out; he hates it when people are rude to his staff. And finally, if you had paid attention to how everyone else ‘paid’ you would know that it is an open bar, and your card does nothing.”

    Customer: *bright red* “I am so so sorry; I truly am. I think that I have had enough to drink tonight. I will take a glass of water.”

    (I smile, give him his water, and he gives me a tip.)

    Customer: “I know that this does not cover how bad I treated you. I am sorry.”

    (The same customer comes back a couple of weeks later, and he is still the best tipper I serve!)

    Dumb By Any Metric, Part 2

    , | Nanaimo, BC, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (We sell burgers in 1/4 lb and 1/2 lb size. It is part of our job to clarify which burger the customer is ordering. I overhear my coworker’s exchange at the next till.)

    Customer: “I’d like a burger please.”

    Coworker: “Certainly. Would you like the 1/4 lb or 1/2 lb?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure; whichever is bigger.”

    Coworker: “That would be the 1/2 lb.”

    Customer: “Sorry, I’m from the States, and I don’t understand your Canadian measurements!”

    Related:
    Dumb By Any Metric

    Putting The Day Into A High Note

    , | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

    (I am working the drive-thru at a fast food restaurant, and we have been having a rough night. It has been non-stop busy, and several customers have been very rude. A car pulls up, and I greet them.)

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

    Customer: *singing in mock-opera style* “Just a momeeeennnt!”

    (Laughter erupts from the backseat, as a coworker and I exchange a look, stifling laughter.)

    Me: “Just let me know when you’re ready!”

    Customer: *still singing* “Can I get twwooooo large chocolate shaaaakes!?”

    (My headset is off, because I am laughing loudly as I enter their order.)

    Customer: “And one laaarge strawberry shaaaake?”

    Me: “Okay, I will have your total at the second window!”

    (They get to the window, and it’s a woman and two young girls in the back, all of them with big grins, and giggling.)

    Me: “That was absolutely fantastic! My coworker and I couldn’t stop laughing!”

    Customer: “Did we make your night?”

    Me: “Oh, yes!”

    (After the customer leaves, we spend another 10 minutes just laughing until our sides hurt. Thank you so much for the laugh! It’s people like you who make it all worth it!)

    Petty People Make Petty Complaints

    | NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am serving a woman who comes in for lunch with her two children. They have been pleasant so far, and are waiting for their order to come out. The children’s food is done slightly before the mother’s, so I bring it out before it gets cold.)

    Mother: “Where is my food?”

    Me: “It’ll be out in a few minutes, so no worries!”

    Mother: “But my children have their food now.”

    Me: “Theirs was done a little sooner, but yours is on its way.”

    Mother: “It’s not right that they get to eat before I do!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry about the delay. Maybe you could have a few bites of their pizza while you’re waiting?”

    Mother: “Are you saying that I should STEAL food from my CHILDREN?”

    Me: “Oh, no, not at all! It’s just, sharing is caring, right?”

    Mother: “I want to see the manager! This is ridiculous! I am NOT paying for this!”

    Me: “Well all righty then…”

    (She ends up getting everything for free, even though the manager told me later he was on my side. )

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