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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Drive Straight Thru His Lie

    | Metairie, LA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a restaurant that is always closed on Sundays. Like, it has been every single week since the 1940s when it opened. One Sunday afternoon our restaurant owner is in the parking lot doing some work on our flower beds and someone drives up to the drive-thru speaker:)

    Customer: “Hello? HELLOOOOOOO! ANSWER ME! Son of a b****! This is OUTRAGEOUS!”

    (The restaurant owner calmly walks over to the customer in the car, and says:)

    Owner: “Hello, sir, is everything all right?”

    Customer: “NO! I JUST came through the drive-thru and paid over $30 for my meals, and I got ALL THE WAY HOME and realized that they left out my number one meal! I DEMAND that you give me my meal for free AND refund my whole order because my family is waiting on me at home and ALL OF OUR FOOD IS GOING TO BE COLD! I will not pay for this!”

    (The store owner, who loves to catch people in a lie, just kept asking more questions.)

    Owner: “So you’re telling me you were JUST here?”

    Customer: “Yes! And I got all the way home and YOU left my meal out of the bag!”

    Owner: “I see. Do you have your receipt? Or your bag with your food? I’d be happy to replace all of your meals for you if you have the receipt.”

    Customer: “NO! I left them at home with my other food! Can you get them to hurry up? I need to get back home because my family is waiting on me!”

    Owner: “So you’re sure you were JUST here? At THIS restaurant?”

    Customer: “YES! God, what is wrong with you people?! I was here like 15 minutes ago, in THIS drive-thru!”

    Owner: “Well, sir, I just wanted to let you know I know for a fact that you weren’t here 15 minutes ago getting food.”

    Customer: “…what?”

    Owner: “See, I’m the owner of this restaurant, and we’ve been closed every single Sunday since we opened. There is no one inside right now, and there hasn’t been anyone inside all day. So there’s no way you got your food here 15 minutes ago, I have your vehicle on our parking lot surveillance, and I want to kindly ask you never to come back to my establishment again!”

    (The guy then sped out of the parking lot!)

    Been Called All The Names In The Hundred-Acre Wood

    | Jackson, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I have have been called just about every name in the book. I am refusing to sell beer to a customer who is too drunk.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you’re just too intoxicated and I can’t let you have it.”

    Drunk: “I’m not driving so what the f*** is your problem, fat-a**!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; can’t do it.”

    Drunk: “Come on, man. I won’t tell.”

    Me: *being very nice as it does really bug them when I don’t get mad* “Sorry, guy, still can’t sell.”

    Drunk: *getting REALLY UPSET* “You know what you are? You’re a Pooh butt! You’re a Winnie the Pooh butt!”

    (I’ve heard everything but not that, so I started laughing really hard which got him more and more upset. I told him that was the funniest thing I had ever been called and he got REALLY mad and just walked out.)

    Not Promoting Decent Behavior

    , | TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am working the front at a fast food restaurant. I am ringing up two ladies (mother and daughter) up. They are regulars.)

    Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

    Daughter: “Hi, I have this coupon: buy one get one free breakfast sandwiches.”

    Me: “All right, which sandwiches would you like?”

    (They order two sandwiches, one more expensive than the other. I promo the more expensive one off.)

    Daughter: *to mother* “Haha, she only charged us $1.69!”

    Mother: *mockingly* “Smart employees!” *snorts*

    Me: “I did it to be nice, but I’m definitely not doing it for you again.”

    Not So Closed Minded, Part 8

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am the opening manager. Every morning my duties include powering on the lights, setting up the dining room, and putting our A-frame sign out on the sidewalk. Due to customers attempting to get in before we open, I always reserve these tasks for last. My boss could never understand why, until today…)

    Boss: “If you just get it done first thing, you don’t have to worry about it and you can get started on preparing the fresh food!”

    Me: “I’d advise against it… Can we at least leave the lights off to help discourage people from coming in?”

    (My boss agrees, but it’s clear he doesn’t see why I’m so hesitant to set up the dining area. He takes all the chairs down, and goes to put the sign out on the sidewalk despite the fact that we aren’t open for another hour and a half… and a customer immediately walks in behind him. It’s about 9:30 am.)

    Customer: “I want [hot meatball sandwich]!”

    Boss: “Unfortunately, we aren’t open yet, sir. You came in right behind me as I was putting our sign out.”

    Customer: “Then make me a [pizza]!”

    Boss: “Sir, we aren’t open yet. Our ovens aren’t even on. They take time to heat up, so right now I can’t cook you anything! Even if I could, I don’t have most of the ingredients prepared. If you want a salad, I can make an exception. Those aren’t hot and they don’t take long. But I can’t cook anything.”

    Customer: “What!? Why won’t you sell me a god-d*** pizza?! Your sign is out! Your lights are on! I demand you sell me a pizza!”

    (My boss and the customer went back and forth a few minutes longer, and eventually the customer leaves in a huff.)

    Me: “And THAT is EXACTLY why I don’t set up the dining room until just before we open!”

    (I was never again scolded for doing those tasks last!)

    Related:
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 7
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5

    Thou Shalt Not Pick And Choose

    | London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Religion

    (I and my girlfriend work at the same restaurant, I’m the head chef and she’s the manager. We’re both women and although we don’t hide our relationship, we don’t flaunt it either. My girlfriend has finished for the day and the owner has come in to cover her. She comes into the kitchen to say goodbye to everyone and kisses me (a very brief kiss on the lips) then leaves. Five minutes later the owner comes in to me to say a complaint has been made by a customer regarding a ‘lesbionic’ relationship.)

    Owner: “This woman’s being a right b**** about it, saying she won’t pay for her meal, it ruined her night, it’s blasphemous, and everyone’s going to Hell.”

    Me: “She’s one of those. I’ll go deal with her.”

    (I go to the customer and introduce myself as the head chef. She’s about 30, expensively dressed (her dress looks silk but the belt, collar, & cuffs are sequined), lots of jewellery, and a tattoo on her ankle of rosary beads. She’s with a man a little older that her, clean shaven, short back and sides hair cut.)

    Customer: “The food was delicious. Are you in charge? Do you know you have lesbians in your kitchen? Maybe you should tell them not everyone wants to see that sort of thing. It’s terribly upsetting and offensive to my religious beliefs.”

    (I have done my fair share of reading on the subject of homosexuality and the Bible, so I have an answer well prepared for people like her.)

    Me: “Have you read the Bible? Timothy 2:9 says ‘I want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not adorning themselves with gold or pearls or expensive clothes.’ That’s some nice jewellery you’re wearing. It also says, Leviticus 19:19 ‘Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.’ Your silk dress is beautiful, as are the collar and cuffs. In a different material. It also says Leviticus 19:28 ‘Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves.’ I like your rosary tattoo. It also says Leviticus 19:27 ‘Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.’ Your husband looks very smart tonight. It also says Leviticus 11:8 ‘You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you.’ And Leviticus 11:10 ‘And all that have not fins and scales in the seas and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you.” I believe they refer to pork and shellfish. How was your ‘surf & turf?’ We only use the best pork sausages and finest lobster.”

    (The man sits there with his head bowed but the woman stares at me with pure hatred.)

    Me: “Now, I don’t know about you but it seems silly that you are willing to overlook all those sins about yourself and focus on one thing that isn’t even mentioned in the Bible. If I was as judgemental as you I would say you only kicked up a fuss to get out of paying for you meal. But that’s like stealing. I’ll send a waitress over with your bill.”

    (I went back to cooking. I could hear a couple of other customers laughing at the woman. The husband paid, leaving a big tip. I could see them outside having what looked like a pretty good argument!)

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