Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
    (1,908 thumbs up)
  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Avoiding A Hair-Raising Situation

    | Wisconsin Dells, WI, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

    (Our mom takes us through the drive through of a fast food joint known for frozen custard. We all have one, and as we are driving away and eating, three of us discovered long hairs in our custard. We go back through the drive through and my mother tells them what happened. The poor teen on the mic sounds so nervous when my mom calmly explains the situation. They give us free replacements. We get to the window and instead of the kid, it’s the manager.)

    Manager: *hands my mom the tray of three custards as well as a handful of tokens for a free scoop of custard*

    Mom: “What is this for?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, so many customers in your situation would have screamed at my poor employees and terrified them. The other day, a customer came up to the counter and screamed at and verbally abused the fifteen-year-old girl at the register because he found a very small piece of onion on his burger when he had asked for none because he doesn’t like the smell of them. And other people would try to sue us for that. So I am giving these to you as a thank you.”

    Mom: “Oh, wow. You’re welcome, I guess.”

    (Our custard was delicious and hair free, though it melted rather quickly once we got to the park as it was the summer. Good thing we had dishes and not cones!)

    Got A Tip-Off About Grandpa’s Antics

    | ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I’m waitressing at a small restaurant when a young mother with a toddler walks in accompanied by the mother’s grandfather. I seat them and they order. The grandfather orders the chicken fried steak which is soft enough that a knife isn’t necessary so one normally isn’t given with the meal. This happens as I drop off their plates.)

    Grandfather: *looks at his plate then up at me angrily* “WHERE THE F*** IS MY KNIFE? HUH? HOW THE F*** AM I SUPPOSED TO EAT THIS—”

    (Suddenly the mother slaps her hand onto the table hard enough that all the dishware jumps, the toddler yelps, and the grandfather is startled into silence.)

    Toddler: “Uh oh. Mama MAD. Not me did it!”

    Mother: *looks at the grandfather with a look of pure fury* “You do NOT speak to people that way! Do you understand? Now, I told you, if I’m going to take you out to eat then you WILL be on your best behavior. Now you will either apologize to this young lady or you can go sit in the car by yourself and be hungry. Everyone else in the family might be willing to put up with your attitude but not me! So you got two options: apologize or leave.”

    Grandfather: *crosses his arms and sulks*

    Mother: “Apologize or car. NOW.”

    Grandfather: *sighs* I’m sorry for saying those things to you.”

    Me: “Thank you for apologizing, sir. Now, that was a steak knife you needed?”

    Grandfather: “Yes.”

    Mother: *crosses her arms and raises her eyebrows at him*

    Grandfather: *looking like he bit into a lemon* “Please.”

    (The mother smiles and I turn my attention to her.)

    Me: “And anything for you, ma’am?”

    Mother: “More napkins, please.”

    Me: “Okay! I’ll be right out with those.”

    (The rest of the meal passes by in complete silence with the grandfather sulking the whole time. I drop off their check, the mother tucks it under her arm, drops a tip on the table, then turns around and helps her son put on his jacket. While her back is turned the grandfather quickly picks up the tip, stuffs it in his jacket pocket, and scurries out. Finishing with her child the mother leads him over to the counter and places the check on the counter. I’m struggling with myself on whether or not I should tell her about what her grandfather did.)

    Mother: *watches me for a minute* “Well, you obviously want to say something so say it! I’m sorry for the way my grandpa acted. I’m working on teaching him manners. But, if you have something to say feel free to speak up. So long as it’s said respectfully I can listen.*

    Me: “It’s… um… just that your… um, grandfather took the tip money while your back was turned.”

    Mother: “HE WHAT?!”

    (Leaving her son there the mother storms off back to the table, audibly gasps when she sees the lack of money, practically runs back to the register, scoops up her child, and leaves. Through the window I see her walk to the passenger side of the car, point to the grandfather, mouth the words ‘big trouble,’ and open the back-seat passenger door. The grandfather moves down in his seat a little bit, the mother calmly buckles her kid into the car, closes the door, then opens the grandfather’s door. I can’t hear what’s being said but it’s obvious that whatever she’s screaming has the grandfather shrinking in his seat until he is literally hiding his head in his jacket. The mother suddenly reaches forward, snatches something from him, slams the car door, and comes back inside.)

    Mother: “The nerve of some people! My goodness! I am so so sorry for my grandfather’s antics. Thank you. though. for being honest. *I ring up her transaction* I was going to give you a bit for being so patient with him but I think you deserve a bit extra. As for him, well, he can stay home eating cold ham and cheeses sandwiches for a few days. We’ll see how well he likes that!”

    (The mother tipped me generously then left. They did come in the following week but this time the grandfather was much better behaved!)

    No Point Gagging Over Spoiled Milk

    | CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working behind the customer service desk when an elderly woman approaches with a plastic bag.)

    Customer: “I’d like to return this milk and get my $3.69 back.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. If you give me your receipt, I’ll be happy to help.”

    Customer: “I don’t have the receipt. I threw it away somewhere. I don’t know. Just give me the refund. I smelled this milk, and it went very bad!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m not allowed to issue refunds on opened dairy products without a receipt, but I can do an exchange if you’d like to go pick up a new one.”

    Customer: “I don’t want a new one. I bought this milk this morning and it went very bad, so I’m sure all your milk is bad. I haven’t even had a chance to put it in my fridge yet and it’s already bad!”

    Me: *thinking of the record heat wave we were having* “…Ma’am, it’s almost four pm. Are you saying you’ve had the milk in your car all day today?”

    Customer: “Yes! Where else would I keep it while I visit my friends?! And it is very bad!”

    (She then proceeds to take the plastic jug of milk out of the bag and puts it on the counter. The plastic is transparent and the sun has done a serious number on it; it’s bulging so much that the bottom isn’t flat and the jug is barely standing up straight.)

    Me: “Oh , dear lord… Ma’am, you can’t willingly let your milk spoil and then come ask for a refund. Or even an exchange! I’ll have to ask you to take that away.”

    Customer: “If you don’t believe me, then smell it!”

    Me: “I believe you and I’m not getting near that thing!”

    Customer: “No! You smell it right now!” *grabs the jug of milk and waves it at me*

    (I start backing away and give a little knock on the door behind me to summon the manager. As he comes out, he sees the bulging container in her hands and gasps.)

    Me: “She left it in her car all day. It’s 104°F out there. She wants a refund and she wants me to smell it.”

    Manager: *still standing in the doorway behind me* “Ma’am, we can’t possibly give you a refund for being negligent with your items. You’re welcome to grab a new milk if you want.”

    Customer: “I don’t want a new one. They’re all bad! See? Smell this!”

    (She starts twisting open the cap and everything goes into slow motion as my manager leaps backwards into his office trying to close his door and I reach out to stop her, yelling ‘nooooo!’ Everyone within earshot is watching while she takes the cap off and something comes belching out of the jug: chunky white liquid splashing out onto the counter and the floor. The customer has conveniently opened it facing away from herself and remains clean and upwind.)

    Customer: “See? It’s bad. Smell it!”

    Me: *retching and on the verge of tears* “Oh, god, I can’t NOT smell it!”

    Manager: *cracking open his door with his mouth and nose covered* “Give her the money! Get her out of here!”

    (I smother myself with my own arm as I open the register and throw a five dollar bill onto the counter.)

    Me: “Here is your refund, ma’am, plus whatever. Please just go!”

    (She put the opened milk back on the counter, calmly opened her purse, counted out the $1.31 difference, took the $5, thanked us, and left with a satisfied smile on her face. As I called for the cleaning crew, I grabbed her plastic bag off the counter and felt something inside. She had the receipt the whole time.)

    Has Led A Sugar-Coated Existence

    | Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (For sanitary reasons, we do not add sugar to our customer’s coffee. There are sugar packets and spoons in front of the register for the customers to use.)

    Me: “Here’s your regular latte, sir. Have a good day!”

    Customer: “…are there two sugars in this?”

    Me: “No sir, but there are sugar packets just in front for you.”

    Customer: *looking very confused* “But how is the sugar going to get in my coffee?”

    Me: “You can just put it in…” *customer is still frowning at me like he doesn’t understand*

    Me: “Never mind. I’ll help you with that.”

    (I take two sugar packets from right in front of this man, tear them open and pour in the sugar. Then I stir it in and slide it back across the counter to him.)

    Me: “Just like that, sir. Have a good day!”

    Customer: “Ugh, bye.” *storms off muttering something under his breath*

    (Meanwhile, my coworker and I stood there wondering how this man had gotten through 40-something years of his life without stirring in sugar!)

    Dying To Get Some Service

    | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am deathly allergic to strawberries. Ingesting even a tiny trace of strawberry sends me into anaphylactic shock, for which I keep an EpiPen on me. This instance occurs late one evening while I am in the back doing dishes after a late lunch break. Somehow, strawberry must have gotten into my food because I suddenly find my throat closing and my face and chest swelling. I frantically ask my coworker to call 911 before my throat closes all the way and I practically collapse. She injects my EpiPen, and as my airway begins to clear and the panic subsides slightly, I am able to hear an exchange happening through the headset.)

    Customer: “…seriously? This ambulance is completely blocking the drive-thru lane. This is ridiculous. How am I going to be able to get out of here? Can I even still get my coffee?! UGH!”

    Coworker: *with all the sarcasm she can muster* “Terribly sorry to inconvenience you, ma’am. We have an employee dying in the back room.”

    Customer: “What? You’re just saying that!”

    Coworker: *fed up* “Sorry, the drive-thru lane is closed right now. If you want coffee you’ll have to come inside.”

    Customer: “This is TERRIBLE customer service! I’m NEVER coming back here! Ridiculous!”

    (I hope she never does come back! Glad your coffee was more important than my LIFE, lady!)

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