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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Allow Me To (Mind)Read You The Menu

    | Solon, OH, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (It’s a very busy night, and I am currently waiting on five tables. My current customer is an older male.)

    Me: “Sir, what can I get for you tonight?”

    Customer: “Oh, you know.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Oh, you know what I want.”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. I don’t.”

    (The customer looks at his son for help.)

    Son: “Dad, you have to tell her what you want to eat.”

    Customer: “She KNOWS what I want.”

    Son: “Just order some food Dad. She isn’t a mind reader.”

    Customer: “Steak.”

    Me: “What kind, sir? We have sirloin, filet, t-bone—”

    Customer: “Oh, you know.”

    (This proceeds for about five minutes, selecting his steak, the temperature, and sides. Finally I get to the son, who has been deciphering the conversation.)

    Me: “And for you, sir?”

    Son: “… I forgot.”

    Platinum Member, Bronze Behavior

    , | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a concession stand/food court inside a casino. At this casino, we have player cards with different levels depending on the amount of money a customer spends. A regular with the highest level (platinum) card comes at least twice a week to the Asian stand. Every time we see her the conversation is the same.)

    Customer: *very rudely* “I want a chicken fried rice, no carrots or peas, no egg, no bean sprouts, no oil, no salt, with broccoli fried extra soft, to go.”

    (She orders this exact thing every time.)

    Me: “All right, ma’am. That will be [total]. Thank you, and do you have your card for discount?”

    (I swipe her player card for a discount, she pays cash, and then waits for her order. Her order comes up fresh from the wok, and I check the order EXTREMELY well to make sure that everything is in order. The customer is waiting at the counter tapping her foot impatiently. I give her the box and wish her a good day. 10 minutes pass before she comes back, red faced and angry. She’s maybe taken one bite from her food.)

    Customer: “This isn’t what I ordered! I ordered a chicken fried rice, no carrots or peas, no egg, no bean sprouts, no oil, no salt, with broccoli fried EXTRA soft, to go! I want to speak with [Manager] immediately!”

    (The order WAS exactly how she ordered it. That’s why we always check the order for her.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. Let me grab [Manager] and we’ll make you a new one right away!”

    Customer: *smiling smugly* “Thank you, sweetie.”

    (The manager comes out and has a quiet discussion with the upset platinum customer.)

    Customer: “My food was old, and cold, and you put things in the rice that I didn’t order. Everything was just wrong!”

    Manager: “Perhaps you would care to fill out a comment card, and I will take care of the issue.”

    (Meanwhile, I am in the back talking with our chef about the customer. Our chef is obviously a little upset that the customer can do this so consistently because she’s a platinum member, so we cannot turn away her service. We agree that nothing is wrong with the food and throw it in the microwave to warm it up. I go back out and hand the food to the customer, who is handing the comment card to my manager.)

    Me: “I’m so, so sorry that happened. Here. Look it over to make sure it’s right this time.”

    (She looks it over and nods.)

    Customer: *still smug* “This is exactly how I wanted it, honey. Thank you for making another one!”

    (My manager waits a few moments to make sure the customer is well on her way before throwing the comment card in the trash.)

    Manager: “She comes in here every week and does that!”

    The Manager Has To Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

    | West Yorkshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (We are having a meeting about how many errors we are making on our tills. When we explain why these are happening, our boss seems to think we are all idiots and decides to spend a few hours watching what we do, starting off by showing us how to use the till properly.)

    Customer #1: “Can I have a medium latte please?”

    (My manager makes the drink and processes it on the till without a problem. I’m the first to go on the till afterwards.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, can I get a medium skinny latte.”

    (I make the drink, process it on the till, and tell the customer the price which is also written on the menu board behind me.)

    Customer #2: “Sorry, I don’t have enough. Can you make me a plain latte?”

    (I make the second drink for the customer and process this on the till, but it goes down as an error which causes my manager to glare at me. I tell the customer the new price.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, I don’t have enough for that either. Can I have a tea?”

    (I make a third drink and re-process this on the till making another error. The customer finally pays and leaves.)

    Manager: “Yeah. I’ll just tell head office this town is full of idiots…”

    Great Minds Think Alike

    | GA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working in a fast food sub shop when a nice regular walks in. Behind in line are a small child and his mother.)

    Me: “A cheesesteak sandwich with no onions and a medium drink, [Regular]?”

    Regular: “As always.” *pays and leaves*

    Small Child: “You knew exactly what that guy wanted! Do you READ MINDS?! Tell me what I want to eat!”

    (The mother mouths to me behind her son’s back.)

    Me: “You want a… peanut butter and jelly sandwich!”

    Small Child: “Well… what kind of jelly do I want?”

    (The mother mouths to me again.)

    Me: “Hmm… grape!”

    Small Child: “Wow, you do read minds! Mommy, she reads minds!”

    Pay It Forward, Driving Backwards

    , | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Religion, Top

    (I’m working the drive-through at my restaurant. A customer drives up.)

    Customer #1: “Can I have a small [soda], please?”

    Me: “That will be [amount]. Please pull forward.”

    (The customer pulls up to the window and I hand her the drink. She hands me cash to pay for it.)

    Customer #1: “Do you take personal checks?”

    Me: “Uh, yes, we do, but you’ve already paid in cash, ma’am.”

    Customer #1: “Yes. I want to pay for the next person in line, too.”

    Me: “You want to pay for the next person?”

    Customer #1: “My pastor challenged everyone at my church to perform an act of kindness this week. So I’ll just sign a blank check and you can write in how much the next person’s order costs. Is that okay?”

    Me: “Hang on. I should probably check with my manager.”

    (I explain the customer’s request to the manager, who looks a bit confused, but says we can do that.)

    Me: “The manager says it’s okay, ma’am.”

    Customer #1: “Great!”

    (She signs a blank check and hands it to me, along with a religious tract.)

    Customer #1: “Could you just let the next person know it’s all taken care of, and please give them that pamphlet, too?”

    Me: “Yes, I certainly will.”

    (She cheerfully drives away, saying ‘bless you.’ A few minutes later, the next customer comes through the drive-through.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, can I get a [sandwich combo] with a large [soda]?”

    Me: “[Sandwich combo] with a large [soda]. Yes, sir. Please pull forward.”

    Customer #2: *pulling up to the window* “You didn’t tell me how much it was back there.”

    Me: “Well, you don’t have to worry about that, sir. The lady who came through the drive-through before you wrote out a check to take care of the next person’s order. She said she’d pay for it.”

    Customer #2: “What? You’re joking.”

    Me: “I swear.”

    Customer #2: “How could she know how much my order would be?”

    Me: “She left the amount line empty for me to fill in the cost of your order.”

    Customer #2: “Well, s***, son! In that case, give me TWO [sandwich combos], four [sandwiches], four [other sandwiches], another large fries, a 20-piece [chicken nuggets], an apple pie, and a $50 gift certificate!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer #2: “It’s a blank check, right? So just write what I f****** asked for.”

    Me: “Hang on a minute.”

    (My manager has been listening over my shoulder. He gives me a resigned shrug and tells me to do it. With all the items the customer asked for, the total is over $100. As I hand the customer his huge order, I also hand him the religious tract the woman gave me.)

    Me: “She also asked me to give you this pamphlet, sir.”

    Customer #2: *looking at it for two seconds before tossing it into his back seat* “Hah! Joke’s on her! I’m already a Christian!”

    (I can still hear him laughing as he pulls away.)


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