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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Mini Golf Vs Beer Pong

    | Regina, SK, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (Two ten-year-old boys come up to the counter.)

    Boy #1: “Hey, would you give us some beer?”

    Me: “No, you guys aren’t old enough.”

    Boy #1: “Oh, man, they don’t even have any Captain Morgan beer. That’s the best.”

    Boy #2: “Whoa, you know so much about beer!”

    About To Get A Slice Of Life

    | ON, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like to get this cake, please.” *points at one*

    Me: “Sure, would you like anything written on it?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can you put ‘Happy Birthday Daddy’?”

    Me: “Daddy?”

    Customer: “Yes, please.”

    Me: “Sure, just one second.”

    (I get my icing bags.)

    Me: “Okay, so that was ‘Happy Birthday Daddy’?”

    Customer: “Actually… could you just put ‘Happy Birthday Tom’?”

    Me: “‘Tom’?”

    Customer: “Yeah…” *pauses* “…I’ll tell him eventually.”

    (My heart melts. I don’t know how to react, so I just write on her cake and send her on her way. I never did find out how things turned out for that woman, but I wish her all the best.)

    The Tooth Hurts

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (On my way out of the store, I spot an employee who is supposed to be greeting new customers. He is slumped over his ‘Welcome’ stand, half asleep.)

    Me: “C’mon buddy, it’s not that bad. The day is almost over.”

    Employee: “Yeah, but I really need a coffee. I’m so tired, man.”

    (I go to the in-store cafe and buy the guy a coffee. An hour later, I return to the shop, having forgotten some items. I spot the same employee with a bandage around his jaw.)

    Me: “What happened, buddy?”

    Employee: *not recognizing me* “Some guy bought me coffee. I have really sensitive teeth, so now I got major toothache.”

    (Guess I didn’t make his day any better!)

    Purchasing Blood Wine

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (I see two guys who appear to be in their early 20s approach a self-checkout machine with a case of alcohol. One of them appears to have some tissue in his nose. The other is acting nervous. Given the exchange of money between the two, I suspect a third party purchase.)

    Me: “Good evening, gentlemen. I’ll just need to see both of your IDs before I approve the sale.”

    (The customer with the item in his nose scowls and turns his nose up at me, revealing the dangling string of a tampon.)

    Customer: *angrily* “Why do you need to see his ID? I’m buying it.”

    Me: “Sir, it’s the law and store policy that I check the IDs of everyone in the party purchasing alcohol.”

    Customer: “I guess I’m not buying this then, since he’s under 21!”

    (He storms off, leaving alcohol on counter.)

    Customer at the next machine: “What the h*** was that? Did he really just try that? And with a tampon in his nose?”

    Cold Call From Work

    | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am training a new 17-year-old girl. I am going slow and steady, trying to teach her the right way to do everything. Two female customers come in. One orders a drink made with caffeine-free citrus soda and sherbet. I start explaining and showing the trainee what to do.)

    Me: *quietly to the trainee* “Okay, use two scoops for a small and three for a large, then fill it to here with soda. I personally think these are gross, but they’re really popular, especially with kids.”

    Customer: “It’s not gross! If you ever tried it, you’d know it wasn’t gross!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t even realize you could hear me. I just don’t personally like them, but I know plenty of people who do.”

    Customer: “You have to take that back! I’m the customer, so I’m right! You’re the rudest f****** b**** I’ve ever seen!”

    Me: “Okay. I’m sorry that I don’t personally like the same drink that you do.”

    Customer: “I need to talk to your manager right now!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m the senior employee working right now. My manager is at home with her daughter. I can take down your information and have her call you wh—”

    Customer: “No! Call her right now! I need to talk to her and tell her what a rude b**** you’ve been!”

    Me: *while dialing the phone* “Just to clarify: you want me to interrupt my manager’s family dinner, so you can inform her that I don’t like soda and sherbet mixed together, yes?”

    Customer: “Yes! Call her right now! I’ll get your a** fired!”

    (I explain the situation on the phone to my manager.)

    Manager: “So, what exactly does she want me to do?”

    Me: “I think she wants you to fire me… for not liking sherbet.”

    Manager: “Oh, lord. Just give her the phone.”

    (The trainee and I stand there while the customer yells on the phone at my manager. My poor trainee is just dumbfounded. Eventually my manager convinces the woman to leave and asks her to not come back, as insulting her employees is not acceptable. The woman and her friend leave, and my new co-worker and I breathe a sigh of relief. The customer storms back into the shop.)

    Customer: “Oh! And you know what’s f****** gross? Your face!”

    (She leaves, and I start laughing uncontrollably.)

    Trainee: “Did that just f****** happen?”

    Me: “Welcome to life in customer service!”


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