• Gloating About Gluten
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Half-Baked Conviction

    | OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer calls into the bakery from another state wanting to order some baked goods for a friend of hers in our city. She begins the conversation trying to ascertain that we were a popular bakery, and that people in the city actually buy from us. This line of questioning takes about 10 minutes.)

    Caller: “Between you, me, and the light post, do your baked goods actually taste good?”

    The Bitter Taste Of The Law

    , , | USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work in the call center for a national fast food restaurant. We don’t accept ideas about new or modified products from guests, and we especially don’t pay for them. Any time a guest starts to give a suggestion, we have to read them a legal statement to that effect.)

    Caller: “I wanted to tell you that I love your turkey burgers, but I really think you should start serving them on gluten-free—”

    Me: *interrupting* “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I do have something I need to read you real quickly.”

    (I then read the legal statement stating that we can’t accept her idea, and won’t pay for it.)

    Caller: *long pause* “Well, I don’t know what that means, but it doesn’t sound very nice, so I’m going to hang up on you.”

    (And she did!)

    Drive (Thru) The Price Up

    | TX, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money

    (For my drive-thru customers, I try to give them the price from memory. Also, some of our customers try to be funny by being outraged at our prices.)

    Me: “That’ll be [price].”

    Customer: “How much?!”

    (As I’m getting his items, I notice that one of them costs slightly more than I remembered.)

    Me: “It’s [correct, slightly higher price].”

    Customer: “D***, I should have kept my mouth shut!”

    The Answer Rings True

    | Hamlin, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s late at night, probably an hour after our normal closing time, and our phone rings.)

    Employee: “Hello, [Name] Pizza.”

    Caller: “Hi, I’d like to place an order?”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, we’ve been closed for about an hour.”

    Caller:  *annoyed tone* “Well, why did you answer the phone, then?”

    Employee: “…because it rang?”

    (The caller burst into laughter and proclaimed that was the best answer he’d ever heard.)

    A Minute Makes More Than A Minute Difference

    , | Boise, ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (On Sundays, we close both dine in and drive thru at 9 pm.)

    Customer: *in drive thru* “Hey, how late are you guys open?”

    Me: “Well, it’s 8:58. We’re closing both dine in and drive thru in two minutes.”

    Customer: “Okay, we’ll be right in!”

    (The customers proceeded to come inside and took 20 minutes to decide what they wanted, then tried to stay and eat inside. My manager let them. I had to stay an hour late, with school in the morning.)

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