July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Ripe For A Correction

| Hattiesburg, MS, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am working the salad bar at our buffet restaurant and overhear a conversation between a little girl and her mother.)

Girl: “Mom, can I have some of those pickles?”

Mom: “Those aren’t pickles. They are cucumbers. They are pickles before they turn ripe.”

H2-D’oh! Part 2

| VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(At my store, cashiers shout to the barista which drinks have been ordered. The exceptions to this are water and soda; customers get cups for that and are directed to the soda fountain.)

Cashier: “Can you make my customer a caramel latte?”

Me: “You got it!”

(I make the drink, and a woman walks up to the counter.)

Customer: “Is this mine?”

Me: “A caramel latte?”

Customer: “Thanks!”

(She takes it and leaves. Ten minutes later, she comes back to the counter.)

Customer: “I don’t think this is what I ordered.”

Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ll remake yours. What did you order?”

Customer: “Oh, I ordered water.”

Me: *speechless*

(Another customer walks up to the counter.)

Other Customer: “I don’t mean to bother, but I ordered a caramel latte a long time ago. Is it ready yet?”

Me: *internally screaming*

Related:
H2-D’oh!

The Sauce Of Confusion

| Vallejo, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(As always with restaurants, you get the guest who wants to specialize their entire meal because they have a strict diet. I approach a table with a lady who is eating lunch alone.)

Me: “Good afternoon. Are you ready to order, or would you like a couple of minutes?”

Customer: “No, I’m ready. First of all, I’m a vegetarian, so I’d like to start off with the minestrone soup, and then for my entree, I’d like wheat pasta with the meat sauce on the side.”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you just say you’d like the MEAT sauce?”

Customer: “On the side.”

Me: “The MEAT sauce?”

Customer: “On. The. Side.”

Me: “I understand ‘on the side’, but you are aware that the meat sauce has ground beef and ground sausage in it?”

Customer: “Yes, and I’d like it very much if the sauce was on the side.”

Doesn’t Know Beans About Listening

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

(I work as a cashier in restaurant with a store attached. All purchases, either food or merchandise, are done through me. When a customer finishes their meal, they bring me a receipt to pay for their meal, along with any other things they feel like buying. Like many stores, we have an item we try to sell to every customer who comes through the line. Its currently jelly beans.)

Me: “Hello, sir! How are you today? Did [Server] take good care of you?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah. She was great.”

Me: “Is that everything for you today? Would you like to add on any jelly beans today? We have a bunch of different kinds, with just about every flavor.”

Customer: “Yes, please. Seven.”

Me: *shocked* “Seven, sir? Absolutely. which kind would you like? We have the regular 20 flavors, sour, ice cream, smoothie…”

(I proceed to list every bag I can think of.)

Customer: “What? No. I want to add seven.”

Me: “Yes, sir, but I need to know what kind you want.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? I. Want. To. Add. Seven.”

Me: “Seven what?!”

Customer: “DOLLARS.”

Me: “Sir, are you referring to a tip? You want to add seven dollars for your server?”

Customer: “Yes! What else would I be talking about?”

Me: “Well, sir, I had just asked if you would like to add any jelly beans to your purchase today…”

Not Drinking This Information In

, | Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “I would like the #1 Combo”

Me: “And your beverage?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Your beverage?” *points at cup*

Customer: *frustrated* “YES.”

Me: “What would you like to drink, sir?”

Customer: “STOP ASKING! I’VE ALREADY TOLD YOU I WANTED A DRINK!”

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