Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,126 thumbs up)
  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    This Customer Can Go Truck Himself

    | Boise, ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    Caller: “I want to order pizza. I’m f***ing hungry.”

    Me: “Okay, let’s get your details. What’s your address?”

    Caller: “Exit 49.”

    Me: “Um, that’s not a complete address. Unfortunately, I can’t complete an order unless it has a complete address, due to the POS system that we have installed.”

    Caller: “I’m in a f***ing semi, and I’m f***ing hungry. GET ME A F***ING PIZZA!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I can not complete your order unless you have a complete address. Perhaps you could come pick it up instead?”

    Caller: “Well, F*** YOU! I’m in a F***ING SEMI and I’m F***ING HUNGRY! There is no F***ING way I’m driving my F***ING truck all the way out there!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I can not help you there. Besides, Exit 49 is outside of our delivery area. Have a good day, sir.”

    (The caller hangs up immediately and I quickly inform my manager. The caller calls back less than a minute later.)

    Caller: “I want to order pizza. I’m f***ing hungry!”

    Manager: “Were you the one who called earlier, asking for a delivery to a semi?”

    Caller: “YES! And the other chick wa—”

    Manager: “She does not get paid enough to deal with a**holes like you, and frankly, neither do I. Have a good day!” *click*

    Related:
    Go Truck Yourself

    A Man Needs His Nectar

    | Finland | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (I go to my local store after a game of soccer, still wearing my full goalkeeper kit. The cashier and I have met several times but don’t actually know each other at all. I am buying beer.)

    Cashier: “[My Name], you can’t buy beer!”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Cashier: “You come here looking so sporty and I thought you’d buy something healthy or nice, and you buy beer!”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll buy something nice.”

    (I turn around, grab a bunch of flowers, pay for them, and give them to her.)

    Me: “There you go!”

    Cashier: “What? For me?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Cashier: “But… but why? No one has ever bought me flowers before.”

    Me: “Well, you told me to buy something nice, and as you looked tired and a bit down I thought that it would be nice to buy you flowers.”

    Cashier: “Thank you! This was so nice of you!”

    Me: “May I now drink beer tonight?”

    Cashier: “With both hands, if you like!”

    Deference To The Difference

    , | Plano, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am working drive thru.)

    Customer: “I want orange chicken and fried rice.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. Would you like that as a one side/one entree bowl, or as a one side/two entree plate with double orange chicken?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The bowl is $6.05 and the plate is $7.13.”

    Customer: “No, not the price! What is the difference?”

    Me: “Well, one has a single side and a single entree and it comes in a bowl, and the other has a single side and two entrees and it comes on a plate.”

    Customer: “But, what’s the difference?”

    This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 2

    | Staten Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am standing in line when a customer comes up behind me with two boxes of about 20 cans of soda each.)

    Customer: “Can I go ahead of you?”

    Me: “You want to cut in line?”

    Customer: “No, I just need to talk to the woman in front of you!”

    (The customer in front of me doesn’t seem to know him. However ,he only has two items, and I have forgotten to grab oranges anyway, so I say sure and dash back to the produce section. When I return, I hear the tail end of their conversation.)

    Customer: “So if you let me put my soda on your bill, I can get a discount because you’re spending more than $20, and I’ll pay for the soda!”

    Customer In Front: “Okay, fine.”

    (The cashier finishes ringing the customer in front’s order, makes a note of the price, and scans the two boxes of soda. The customer in front of me pays her share, and then the cashier turns to the man with the soda, after carefully subtracting the customer in front’s cost from the total.)

    Cashier: “You owe $17.70.”

    Customer: “What? That’s ridiculous. It’s too much! I’m not paying that!”

    Cashier: “Are you kidding? You can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Just take it off!”

    Cashier: “You cut in line, held everybody up while you explained this, made a big fuss, and now you’re going to hold everybody up again while we call a manager to void this?”

    Customer: “F*** you! I didn’t do anything wrong.” *storms out*

    Related:
    This Is Soda-Pressing

    Crazy Is On The Menu

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I’ve received a complaint from a very unhappy customer, which has put me in a terrible mood. Thirty minutes later, I’m still not feeling too great when four young teens, three girls and one boy, walk into the restaurant. The boy and one of the girls get ready to order while the two other girls sit down and watch.)

    Me: “Hello! What can I get for you?”

    Girl #1: “Uh… so many options.”

    Boy: “Come on, what do you want?”

    Girl #1: “I don’t know; I’m still deciding.”

    (There is a pause as the girl continues to look at the menu.)

    Boy: “Come on! Just decide already. Just get like a ham or turkey or something.”

    Girl #1: “But I don’t want that.”

    Boy: “God, I don’t know why this is so difficult for you! They’re just sandwiches! Just pick SOMETHING!”

    (The boy’s mannerisms and speech seem very unnatural and rehearsed, and the girls are trying not to laugh, so I can tell by this point that they’re just playing a joke.)

    Boy: “You do this EVERY TIME. You’ve done this every time we came in here for two years! TWO YEARS you’ve put me through this! I don’t know why I put up with it! You know what? I’m done! I’m sick of this!”

    (He exits the store dramatically, and his girlfriend runs after him.)

    Girl #1: “Babe, wait! Come back! I’m SORRY!”

    (Once she leaves, the two other girls get up and slowly exit the store.)

    Girl #2: “I’m so sorry. No sandwiches.”

    Girl #3: “Sorry.”

    (I call after them as they leave.)

    Me: “Bravo! Brava! But work on your acting a bit!”

    (I’m sure they were just trying to weird me out, but strangely enough, their little performance cheered me up and took my mind off of the unhappy customer!)

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