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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    The Dimmest Thing In The Store

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer is standing in front of the sake in a corner of our store. My coworker approaches her.)

    Coworker: “Can I help you with anything?”

    Customer: “Do you think this sake is, you know, safe to drink?”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, safe to drink? I assume it’s gone through the proper processing procedures.”

    Customer: “I mean… was this sake affected by the tsunami that hit Japan?”

    (My coworker realizes she’s alluding to the power plants that were hit by the tsunami, and the possibility that the sake is radioactive.)

    Coworker: *jokingly* “Well, if you take it home, and it starts to glow in the dark, I’d suggest you don’t drink it.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay!”

    (My coworker walks away. After a couple of minutes, my manager and I glance over to see the lady cupping the bottle in her hands. She is trying to make it dark enough to see if it will glow in the dark!)

    Strawberry Fields Forever

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am ordering ice-cream for my family and me.)

    Cashier: “What can I get for you?”

    Me: “I’ll have a scoop of strawberry, please.”

    Cashier: “Sorry, we only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan today.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! Chocolate, then.”

    Cashier: “Alright, anything else?”

    Dad: “I’ll have a strawberry shake.”

    Cashier: “Sorry, we only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan.”

    Dad: “Oh right, a chocolate shake then.”

    Sister: “I want a strawberry sundae!”

    Cashier: “We only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan.”

    Sister: “Okay, vanilla.”

    Me: “Does that happen a lot?”

    Cashier: “Often enough that I look forward to the days we actually have strawberry.”

    Borderline Stupidity

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Canada, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Themed Giveaway

    (I am behind two boys in line. They pile a bunch of coolers on the counter, and try to pay with American money.)

    Cashier: “Could I see some ID, please?”

    (Boy #1 waves his hand like Obi-Wan.)

    Boy #1: “Oh, you don’t need to see our IDs.”

    Cashier: “Uh, actually, I do.”

    Boy #2: “It’s okay; we’re both 21!”

    Cashier: “Drinking age in Ontario is 19.”

    Boy #2: “Oh. Well, we’re both 19, then.”

    Cashier: “Do you even have identification?”

    Boy #1: “Fine! Here!”

    (He throws a card on the counter.)

    Cashier: “The government doesn’t consider this valid ID.”

    Boy #1: “OH COME ON!”

    Cashier: “…and this American state driver’s licence says you’re 16.”

    Boy #2: “F****** Canadians!”

    They Are Tea Total, Part 2

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’d like an iced coffee with milk, with no coffee in it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Did you want a decaffeinated iced coffee?”

    Customer: “No, I just hate the taste of coffee. I want an iced coffee with milk, but hold the coffee.”

    Me: “So, would you like milk and ice?”

    Customer: “No, I want it without coffee. I have it all the time. It’s brown, and kind of sweet.”

    Me: “Tea?”

    Customer: “Yes! How did you not understand that?”

    Related:
    He Is Tea Total

    Dining Sin

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m a waitress, seating a woman next to a pair of young men holding hands across the table. They are talking quietly to each other, very obviously on a date. One of the men is drastically shorter than the other, making him appear much younger.)

    Female Customer: “Well, isn’t that sweet; taking your little brother out? How old is he, 10?”

    (Customer #1 blushes and bites his lip.)

    Customer #2: “He’s 19, and he’s my boyfriend.”

    (I’m about to walk away, when the woman gasps and shrieks at me in outrage.)

    Female Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ALLOW THESE HEATHENS TO ACT LIKE THIS IN PUBLIC! YOU TWO SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES, YOU F*****S!”

    (Both men visibly flinch. The smaller starts pulling his hand away, blinking back tears. The taller catches it and gives him a reassuring smile. Being bisexual myself, I’ve learned how to deal with this.)

    Me: “Look at that couple over there.”

    (I point to a girl and boy, on the other side of the restaurant. They are about the same age, doing the exact same thing the other couple just was.)

    Me: “What do you think of them?”

    Female Customer: “Well, they’re cute!”

    (I point to the gay couple.)

    Me: “And if one of them was a girl?”

    (The female customer stammers furiously. She stands up, almost knocking the table over, and starts stomping away.)

    Female Customer: “I’m never coming here again! I’ll have you reported for allowing these f*****s to sin here!”

    (Luckily for me, my boss laughs in her face. He bans her from the restaurant, and calls other branches to warn them about her. The two men are incredibly sweet, and make sure to give me a twenty dollar tip. They’ve been regulars ever since!)


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