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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Although He Uses A Lot Of Ranch

    | Syracuse, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (There is a customer coming through my line that is wearing cowboy clothing complete with 10-gallon hat, shiny belt buckle, and cowboy boots. There is another customer with a young boy standing behind them. I watch as the boy yanks on his mother’s skirt and points to the man in front.)

    Young Boy: “Excuse me, sir; are you a REAL cowboy?”

    Customer: *in a thick Texas drawl* “Why yes little man I am, but I only got to be a real cowboy because I ate all my vegetables and listened to my mother.”

    (The customer then tips his hat to the mother and leaves. The boy does nothing but gush about his cowboy experience.)

    Young Boy: “Mom! Go get more vegetables!”

    She’s A Little Girl With A Round Tummy

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (I am quite short, with short, bright red hair. I am in the middle of taking the table’s order.)

    Customer: “Which red-headed celebrity do you remind me of?”

    Me: “I’m not sure, sorry. Scarlett Johansson in The Avengers, maybe?”

    Customer: “No, not her.”

    Me: “Cal Wilson? She’s got short red hair as well.”

    Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

    (I suggest a couple of other possibilities, but she rejects them. Unable to work it out, I finish taking their order, then continue going about my business. About half an hour later, she flags me down.)

    Customer: “I’ve worked out who it is!”

    Me: “Oh, right, who is it?”

    Customer: “Ponyo!”

    Me: “…”

    Moving The Line Forward By Paying It Forward

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I am about 11 years old, ordering lunch at the mall food court, from a restaurant that serves customers cafeteria style. I am alone, and there is a middle aged man in front of me in the line. I am not paying much attention to him as he reaches the register and pays, but does not immediately walk away.)

    Cashier: *to customer behind me* “Just the entree, sir?”

    Me: “Umm, excuse me?”

    Cashier: *to me* “You need to move out of the way.”

    Me: “But—”

    (I realize she is not listening to me at all, and stand there bewildered as to what to do. After a few seconds, the middle-aged man chimes in.)

    Middle-Aged Man: “She thought we were together. She charged me for your meal.”

    Me: “Oh! I’m so sorry. I wasn’t even paying attention. Here, I’ll pay you back.”

    Middle-Aged Man: “Nah, don’t worry about it. Have a nice day.”

    (By the time I get over my shock and try to thank him, he has already walked away without another word. Nearly ten years later I still remember and appreciate it, proving that even the smallest act of generosity can have a lasting impression.)

    One Sandwich, Hold The Plural

    , | Stillwater, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

    (I am working at a very popular fast food place. I am very sick, and have tried to call in, but as we were short-handed, I am asked to come and just work the lunch rush. Since the lunch rush is over, my manager tells me to help the last two customers, who appear to be construction workers, and then I can go home. I smile brightly despite feeling like crap.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I want [sandwiches]!”

    (I am confused, as he pluralizes the word and doesn’t specify the number of sandwiches.)

    Me: “Sure, how many would you like?”

    Customer: *glaring* “I… want… ONE… [sandwich]. Do you understand? ONE… [sandwich].”

    Me: “Sure, sorry for the misunderstanding. It’s just usually when someone pluralizes a word, that means they want more than one. Would you like the meal, or just the sandwich?”

    Customer: “I said ONE [sandwich]! I don’t want the d*** meal!”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. Would you like anything else?”

    Customer: “Yeah, give me a small fry and an orange juice.”

    Me: “Sir, it would actually be cheaper for you to just get the meal, which comes with a medium fry, and then you could still get orange juice as the drink.”

    Customer: “I said I don’t want the meal! Are you stupid?”

    Me: “No, sir, just trying to save you money. But that’s fine. Your total is [total].”

    (His total is a couple of dollars more than how much the meal would have been.)

    Customer: “Wait. How much would the meal be?”

    Me: “Just one moment, and I’ll total that up for you.”

    (I press a few buttons, canceling out his order, and replace it with the meal with an orange juice.)

    Me: “Your total doing it that way is [new total].”

    Customer: “Huh. I guess it is cheaper. I’ll do that instead.”

    (The customer pays, and I help the next customer in line, who is apparently one of his coworkers. This one is much nicer than the other one, and even says please and thank you. I get off work and go to change out of my work clothes so I can walk home. On my way out of the bathroom, I’m stopped by the two men.)

    Customer: “Listen, I’m really sorry for how I treated you. There was no excuse for that. I’ve just had a really bad day.”

    Me: “It’s okay, sir, really.”

    Customer: “This is for you.”

    (He hands me an apple pie, which he had apparently gotten after I had gone into the bathroom to change.)

    Customer: “Your manager tells me that you are sick today, and still came in. I never would have guessed you weren’t feeling well. Your customer service is really extraordinary, and I told him so.”

    Me: “Thank you so much, sir. I hope you have a much better day from here on out, both of you!”

    (They wish me a good day also, and tell me they hope I feel better soon. Somehow, after that, I DO actually feel better!)

    Acting Childish

    | NY, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (It’s my first day working at a restaurant in town. I am a dishwasher, and am told to bring cups to the front because the waitresses are too busy. I pick up a tub filled with glasses, and open the kitchen door, which is right by the bathroom.)

    Small Child: “I’M COMING MOM!”

    (Suddenly I feel something small ram me in the middle of my back, and I topple to the floor, still holding the tub.)

    Small Child: “OH MY GOD, MY LEG!”

    Childs Parent: “OH MY GOD, WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU DELIBERATELY TRIED TO HURT MY SON! YOU MONSTER! I’LL HAVE YOU FIRED!”

    (The child and his parent seek out the owner. They go into a rant about how I tried to kill the small child, while I have finished limping back to the kitchen. Eventually, the owner comes into the kitchen and pulls me aside, barely able to keep a straight face.)

    Owner: “Look kid, I know it’s your first day, but you can’t go around trying to kill small children. I know they are a pain in the a**, but we usually go for crippling moves, not killing ones.”

    (The owner grins and walks away, before stopping for a moment and turning around.)

    Owner: “Oh, and [waitress] says you didn’t drop a single glass. Keep that up and you might stick around for a while.”

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