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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Flying Off The Pan-Handle

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (My coworker and I work in retail, but we are the customers in this story. We decide to hang out at her place after work. I order some pizza, and pick it up on the way to her house.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m [name], and I’m here to pick up my order.”

    Assistant Manager: “I am terribly sorry, sir. There has been a mistake with your order. We’re trying to fix it as soon as we can.”

    Me: “Oh, dear. What happened? If it’s the wrong toppings, I’ll still take it.”

    Assistant Manager: “No, sir, unfortunately one of our staff members accidentally gave your order to another customer. I am very sorry about this. We’ve just remade your order, and it’ll be done in just a couple of minutes.”

    Me: “Okay, that’s fine, I totally understa—”

    My Coworker: “WHAT?! I can’t believe you let this happen!”

    Me: “Whoa, calm down, [coworker]! People make mistakes, and it’s not going to take very long.”

    My Coworker: “No! I will not calm down, this is an outrage!”

    (My coworker addresses the assistant manager.) “I demand that we be compensated for this inconvenience! I can’t believe they let you be assistant manager around here!”

    Me: “Hey, hey, time out! I’m the one paying here, so you have no right to talk to him like that!”

    Coworker: “No, the customer is ALWAYS right! He should throw in a few extras for free!”

    Me: “Okay, if he did that, our order is gonna take even longer.”

    (Not even one minute after our short argument, our pizzas get brought up to the front. I pay for exactly what I ordered, no more, no less, and we leave. On the way back to my car, my coworker is still muttering.)

    Coworker: “I still think we should’ve gotten some free breadsticks or something.”

    Me: “Listen. You work in customer service too. You go through the exact same s*** he does, and I know YOU wouldn’t tolerate customers who fly off the handle like you just did. I am not impressed with the blatant hypocrisy you just displayed.”

    Coworker: “No, this is different! Our customers think they’re always right! In my case, I actually am!”

    Me: “Normally, I’d make you walk home for saying such a dumb comment, but I really don’t want to expose your current state to the general public.”

    The Booth And Nothing But The Booth

    | USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (I work at business that has a full service restaurant, as well as a grocery store/deli area. Customers often purchase food in the store, expecting to eat it in the restaurant as if it was a cafeteria and not a fine dining area.)

    Customer: “Can I take this food from the deli and eat it over there at a booth?”

    Me: “You certainly can; however, you would have to place the order through your server. They will plate it for you. This portion of the store is for carryout and grocery purchases only. If you speak to the hostess she’ll be happy to find you a seat.”

    Customer: “But, I just want to eat this food over there!”

    Me: “You definitely can; you just have to place your order with your server, and not with me.”

    Customer: “Well, aren’t they going to just charge me more?!”

    Me: “No, the prices are pretty much the same. Sometimes there’s a difference of a few cents, but we attempt to keep the prices in the restaurant as equivalent as we can to the store prices.”

    Customer: “Oh, but they’re going to expect me to tip them if I sit in the restaurant, aren’t they?”

    Me: “Well, yes, that is how servers earn their income.”

    Customer: “WELCOME TO AMERICA!” *storms off*

    Getting Into Double-Double Trouble

    | Brampton, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Canada, Food & Drink, Top

    (I witness a medium-sized customer, wearing a business suit, ordering coffee.)

    Customer: “I thought I told you to make a double-double with milk, not this swill with cream!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll remake it for you.”

    Customer: “D*** f****** right you will. Morons like you shouldn’t even have a job.”

    Me: “Hey! The lady made a mistake and she’s remaking it for you. Calm the h*** down.”

    Customer: “Screw you buddy. She didn’t make it right—”

    Me: “That doesn’t give you the right to be a complete a**. Shut up and take your drink.”

    Customer: “And just what are you going to do about it?”

    (I fully stand up. I am a heavy-set, 6’2″ guy. I grab him by the tie and yank him to towards me. I speak very calmly.)

    Me: “I just lost my job. I’m in a bad mood. I want my tea so I can read in peace and try to cheer myself up. If you want to really know what I can do, keep talking. I’ll fold you into a pretzel.”

    (The customer turns deathly white. He reels around and runs out the door. I make my way up to the register.)

    Me: “Steeped tea. Double-double with milk. Double cupped please.”

    Cashier: “No problem.”

    (A customer in line behind me speaks up.)

    Customer #2: “I’ll have the same, and I’ll pay for both.”

    Me: “You don’t need to do that, sir.”

    Customer #2: “You defended that woman, even after dealing with some pretty horrible news. Don’t worry about it.”

    Me: “Well… if you insist.”

    (Customer #2 pays for my tea and sits down with me, asking about what I did for a living. Turns out, his store is looking for a new computer-tech, and he offers me the job right there. Lesson learned? Don’t underestimate the power of sticking up for people.)

    A Cold Case Of Hot Food

    | Australia | Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a theme park eatery. We don’t sell drinks with the meals, as you buy them separately. For the meals the drinks are $3, $6 or $9, if not, they’re $4, $10 and $14.)

    Me: “Hi there, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Can I please get a coke?”

    Me: “What size would you like?”

    Customer: “I’ll get the large.”

    Me: “Sure, no worries. That’s $13.99 for that, thanks.”

    Customer: “Excuse me! I just wanted one drink, not two!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I understand. However, those prices we have up there are only for the meals.”

    Customer: “That’s false advertising!”

    Me: “I understand your frustration. If you look at the sign, it says down the bottom in bold letters that the prices are higher if you only buy the drink.”

    Customer: “I don’t give two s****! Get me your manager.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but the manger is in a meeting right now. If you want it cheaper you can buy a meal with it.”

    Customer: “Fine! Get me a [meal] with that large coke!”

    Me: “Of course, sir. Is there anything else I can get for you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you can make sure it’s the best burger I’ve ever f***** tasted, or I’m coming back and throwing it in your face.”

    Me: “I assure you, sir, they are delicious.”

    (I get the man his meal and drink. About 10 minutes later he comes back, and asks for a free refill.)

    Customer: “Erm… that was quite a nice burger, and I’m sorry for getting mad.”

    Me: “That’s okay, sir. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.”

    Over The Edge Of Reason

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I work at a chain coffee shop. The building is on the side of a hill; directly behind the shop is a sheer drop off. Every Sunday morning, a woman comes in with same conversation.)

    Woman: “Why don’t you have a drive through? The coffee shop in every other town has a drive through!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s no room around the back of the building for a drive through.”

    Woman: “This is ridiculous! If you weren’t the only place on the way to church to get coffee, I’d never stop here. The one day of the week I have to wear heels; I have to walk across the parking lot!”

    (One Sunday morning, there is a loud crash, and the building shakes. I run outside; the woman has rammed her car between the back of the building and the cliff side. The entire front of the car is hanging off of the edge. Her airbag has deployed and she seems dazed. She starts to open the door. I start yelling.)

    Me: “No! Climb out through the back!”

    (We eventually get her inside, and call the cops.)

    Woman: “I was trying to prove there’s enough room for them to have a drive through. I guess I was wrong!”

    (The company won for damages. A family whose home was hit by debris rolling down the hill sued her as well. Seemed like way more trouble in the end than just walking into a building for a latte!)


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