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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Needs To Clean Up Their Act

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: “Can you come around to the front of the case so I can show you which steaks I want?”

    (I could have gotten the steaks perfectly easily from behind the case, but I do as the customer asks. I put on my plastic gloves and open up the case from the front.)

    Customer: *reaching into the case with his bare hand* “I want this one right here and—”

    Me: *quickly putting my hand over the steak* “Sir, please don’t touch the steaks with your bare hands.”

    Customer: “I just want to feel the texture of them.”

    Me: “Texture? Sir, it’s meat.”

    Customer: “I mean I want to make sure it’s not all hard, like it’s been sitting out all day.”

    Me: “I can assure you these steaks were cut less than an hour ago and have been in our refrigerated case ever since then, sir. But if I let you touch them in there, that would be a health hazard.”

    Customer: *suddenly furious* “What do you mean, a health hazard?! My hands are clean! What do you think I am, some kind of slob sicko?!”

    (I can tell him several reasons why I can’t let him touch the steaks, no matter how clean he thinks his hands are. But I have a different idea.)

    Me: “I’m sure your hands are clean, sir. But let me ask you this. If the person in line ahead of you wanted to put their hands all over the steaks, would you want to buy one then?”

    Customer: “Ugh! No!”

    Me: “Well, there you go. That’s why I can’t let you do it either.”

    Customer: “But my hands are clean! My hands are CLEAN!”

    Empty Threats Over Full Coffee

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I’m currently a greeter, but whenever there’s a line for a movie I go help take tickets. We’re near the end of the line when I see a woman with a large coffee cup that’s not from our cafe.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t allow outside food or drink.”

    Customer: “But you don’t serve coffee here.”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, we have a cafe just on the other side of the concessions.”

    Customer: “Well, their coffee’s crap.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you bring that into the theater.”

    (The customer SPIKES her full coffee cup into the nearby garbage can.)

    Customer: “I’m never buying any food from you again!”

    (She storms into the theater. My coworker, who finished the line while I was dealing with the customer, looks at me.)

    Coworker: “What kind of threat was that? She’s not buying anything from us NOW!”

    You Can’t Top That

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a frozen yogurt shop that charges customers by weight of what they make. It is not uncommon for customers to realize it is cheaper than expected and go back to add more toppings. I am working the register. The customer puts his cup on the scale in front of the register.)

    Me: “That will be $2.86.”

    Customer: “Really? Can I go back and add more toppings or something?”

    Me: “Sure, that won’t be a problem!”

    (The customer turns to look at the pumps for hot chocolate and caramel, and then comes back to the register. He sees the large bottle of hand sanitizer on the end of the counter.)

    Customer: “Ooh! What’s this?” *pumps into cup*

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “… Well. That wasn’t very smart, was it?”

    Prices To Put You In The Black

    | Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am working as a barista in the coffee kiosk in the mall. We periodically get people complaining that our prices are higher than in the regular stores. Also, there is an extremely large sign posted on the register stating that we can’t take any bills larger than $20.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, your total is $3.36.”

    Customer: *grumbles* “Your drinks are so expensive!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We’re a franchise run through another company so our prices do average a few cents higher.”

    Customer: *still grumbling, pulls out an $100 bill and shoves it at me*

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we can’t take any bills larger than $20. Do you have another denomination or a card?”

    Customer: *opens wallet, pulls out a black American Express card, and hands it over grumpily while I try not to stare*

    Customer: “YOUR DRINKS ARE SO EXPENSIVE!”

    Feeling Entitled To Be Untitled

    | Saskatoon, SK, Canada | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (One man, probably in his mid-twenties, is sitting with two similarly-aged attractive women.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, ladies and gentle sir. My name is [Name] and I’ll be your server today. Can I get you anything to drink while you look at the menus?”

    Female #1: “I’ll take a Coke.”

    Female #2: “Me, too.”

    Me: “Okay. Two Cokes, and… for you, sir?”

    Guy: “Don’t call me ‘sir’! I’m too young to be a ‘sir.'”

    Me: “Yeah, I know how you feel. Can I get you anything to drink though, s- uh, mister?”

    Guy: “Don’t call me mister, either! And I’ll have an iced tea.”

    Me: “Okay, okay. Sorry. Two cokes and an iced tea, coming right up.”

    (I get the drinks quickly and come back to their table.)

    Me: “Right, here we go. Two cokes for the lovely young ladies, and an iced tea for… ah, young master.”

    Guy: *buries his face in his arms in shame as the women burst out laughing*

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