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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    A Few Sandwiches Short Of A Picnic

    | Reno, NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (A lot of middle and high school students from all over the state are in town for an event. The shop is slammed, but we’re doing our best to move the line along quickly. The board behind me lists our 18 different cold sandwich options in huge letters. It also states the bread sizes: small, medium, and large.)

    Me: “Hello. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer #1: “Um… can I have a… medium sandwich?”

    Me: “Sure thing. What kind of sandwich would you like?”

    Customer #1: “Medium?”

    Me: *pointing at the board behind me* “Absolutely, what kind of meat and cheese would you like on your sandwich?”

    Customer #1: “Um… white bread?”

    Me: *grabbing a medium white roll* “Okay, and what kind of meat would you like? We have ham, turkey, roast beef…”

    Customer #1: *starting to look confused and angry* “Just a regular sandwich!”

    (The customer gestures at the sandwich belonging to the customer in front of him, which already has lettuce and tomato on it, obscuring the meats.)

    Customer #1: “Like that one!”

    Me: “Okay, so that one’s a ham, turkey, and provolone. Would you like that?”

    Customer #1: ” … ham.”

    Me: “Great! Any cheese?”

    Customer #1: “I just want a regular sandwich!”

    (I quickly make him a ham and American cheese sandwich, pass him to the next person working the line, and turn to my next customer.)

    Me: “Hello, miss! What can I get for you today?”

    Customer #2: “Can I have a… small sandwich?”

    Me: “Absolutely. What kind of meat and cheese?”

    Customer #2: (staring at the board) “Oh, I guess wheat bread?”

    (It was a long day.)

    Some Requests Just Take The Cake

    | Champaign, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I take a request on a phone call.)

    Me: “We can only make small round, large round, and small rectangle cakes, sir. We cannot make large rectangles.”

    Caller: “Okay, so is it possible for me to have a cake made by Sunday? Mother’s day?”

    Me: “We can have any cake ready for you by Mother’s day. Yes, sir!”

    Caller: “Any cake? I thought you just said that you can’t make large rectangles cakes.”

    Me: “We can’t, like I just said, sir.”

    Customer: “So, let me get this straight. You can make ANY cake except the large rectangle?”

    Me: *face-palm*

    Done With This Business

    | Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am second in line at a deli. Deli servers aren’t allowed to stop serving someone unless they’re absolutely sure a customer is done.)

    Deli Worker: *to first customer* “That’s 500 grams. Is that all today?”

    Customer: *playing with phone, says nothing*

    Deli Worker: *turns, wraps the item, and hands it to the customer* “Is that all today?”

    Customer: *not looking up, slowly walks away*

    (The worker’s eyes follow the customer until she’s completely out of the line.)

    Deli Worker: “Aaaaaand… that’s a yes.” *turns to me, mirroring my bemused face* “Hi.”

    Just Grit Your Teeth And Smile

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: *looking over a menu* “Anything on your menu can be made vegan, right?”

    Me: “Well, most of it. Actually if it can be there will be a capital V next to the name.”

    Customer: “So the grits are vegan?”

    Me: “No, but they can be made vegetarian.”

    Customer: “I’ll have the grits.”

    Me: “They’re vegetarian, not vegan.”

    Customer: “You’ve had the grits for awhile?”

    Me: “Yes and they’re not vegan.”

    Customer: “I’d like the grits.”

    Me: *sighs*

    Need To Reroute This Transaction

    , | Hokes Bluff, AL, USA | Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I hear my coworker, who is somewhat new, reading our entire list of drinks off to a customer over the speaker. I go over to see what is going on, and hear this.)

    Customer: “I want a ‘route 44!'”

    Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, and what would you like to drink?”

    Customer: “A ‘route 44!'”

    Coworker: “What kind? We have—” *reads off drinks again*

    Customer: *angry* “A ‘ROUTE 44!'”

    Coworker: *to me* “I don’t know what to do. She’s just not getting it.”

    Me: *to Coworker* “They need you over there. I’ll take over here.” *to Customer* “Hi ma’am, what can I get you to drink with your order?”

    Customer: “Oh, my god. I WANT A ‘ROUTE 44!'”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but a route 44 what?”

    Customer: *screaming* “A ROUTE 44 LARGE! I WANT A ROUTE 44 LARGE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, route 44 is a size. What would you like to drink?”

    Customer: *pauses, mutters something to another person in the car* “I want a route 44 Coke…”

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