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  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Putting Yourself Into An Awkward Superposition

    | West Lafayette, IN, USA | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Math & Science, Top

    (I’m studying physics at a major university. I work at an ice cream store, and when we don’t have anything to do I usually do my reading for physics. A customer walks up to the counter to get a spoon, and then sees one of the diagrams in my physics book.)

    Customer: “Oh, you’re reading a picture book. I’m glad you found something that you’re smart enough to read. What’s it about?”

    Me: “String theory and theoretical quantum physics.”

    Customer: *long pause*

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; should I use smaller words? Maybe I could draw you a picture?”

    Customer: *quietly* “May I please have a spoon?”

    Some People Can’t Handle Their Sugar

    | Kansas City, KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    (I am stocking coke in the aisle. A very perturbed customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Young man, my doctor said I can’t drink coke anymore.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

    (I continue stocking the coke.)

    Customer: “Young man, I just told you that I can’t drink this stuff.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Would you like me to help you find something else?”

    Customer: “I said I can’t drink this stuff!”

    (She grabs a two-liter bottle and throws it to the ground. She puts her hand into the shelf behind the product and starts walking down the aisle, scooping all the soda on the floor.)

    Customer: “I can’t drink coke! I can’t drink coke!”

    (She begins stomping on the cans and bottles and kicking them around. By the time she’s worn herself out, the floor is covered. The cans are spraying little jets of cola. She looks at me, then over my shoulder at the liquor dept.)

    Customer: “He said I can’t drink whiskey either!”

    (She starts to charge the liquor dept. Thankfully, that is when the security guard steps in front of her, takes her hand, and leads her out of the store.)

    Service To Swear By

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am waiting on a table being used by a family: a mother, two teenagers, and one younger son. I am taking the order from the mother; everyone else has given their order.)

    Me: “…and what side dish would—”

    (The young son hits me in the back of the head. I find this funny, as the kid is so young.)

    Me: “Hey buddy, what’s the matter?”

    Child: “Where the f*** is my food?”

    (I look at the mother in expectation of her to do something.)

    Mother: “Well? Are you going to answer him?”

    (I stare at the mother in disbelief.)

    Me: “Well… the kitchen needs to cook your food for you, which takes time. I haven’t left the table yet, which means they don’t know what you would like to eat; it hasn’t even started being cooked yet.”

    (The mother just kept going like nothing happened.)

    Shaming Special On The Pre-Wedding Aisle, Part 2

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m taking care of my younger sister, who is 10. We’re having a movie night, and are grabbing some snacks at a nearby store. I am 19 and female.)

    Me: “Okay, pick out what you want.”

    Sister: “Can I have whatever I want?”

    Me: “Of course! You can pick out anything.”

    (Another customer notices my sister picking out some candy.)

    Customer: “Humph! You should be ashamed of yourself.”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Having a child at your age. It’s disgraceful. And now you’re wasting your welfare money on junk food. It’s your fault the economy is so terrible.”

    Me: “I’m afraid you’re mistaken. She’s not my daughter, she’s my sister. I’m babysitting for the night.”

    Customer: “That’s just the lie you tell people so you don’t get strange looks. I’ll bet your kid’s spoiled rotten.”

    Me: “Actually, she is my sister. This is our night to have fun together. And I’m not on welfare. I actually work part time, and have a large scholarship for the university I attend. My sister isn’t spoiled. She’s very sweet and very smart.”

    Customer: “You’d like to think that wouldn’t you?”

    (My little sister interjects by talking to me.)

    Sister: “How old are you?”

    Me: “I’m 19.”

    Sister: “And I’m 10. If I was your baby, you’d be a mom at nine, right?”

    Me: “That’s right.”

    Sister: “She can’t be my mom. She’s not old enough. Maybe you should get new glasses.”

    (The other customer sputters for a moment, then walks away.)

    Me: “I think we should get some ice cream too.”

    Related:
    Shaming Special On The Pre-Wedding Aisle

    Judging A Book By Its Fabulous Cover

    | Nashville, TN, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Religion, Top

    (I am standing in the waiting area near the hostess station. A man who is gay is requesting a table. A primly dressed woman walks in.)

    Woman: “Ugh, how horrid! You should be ashamed of yourself dressing like one of those sinful f***! People will get the wrong idea about you.”

    (The man keeps his calm like he’s used to this.)

    Man: “Actually, ma’am, it wouldn’t be a wrong idea as I am—in fact—gay.”

    Woman: “Have you no shame at all!? You sound proud of it! You should be more like this young man.”

    (She gestures to me.)

    Woman: “He obviously is a proper, god-fearing individual.”

    Me: “I’m honored. You really believe he should be like me?”

    Woman: “Of course, you obviously have your priorities straight.”

    (I walk over to the man and extended a hand for a handshake. He takes it.)

    Me: “Well, you heard her…”

    (I lean in and give him a quick peck on the lips.)

    Me: “Never change sweetie.”

    (The other three people in the waiting area break out laughing and the woman goes beet.)

    Woman: “Well, I never!…”

    (She stomps out. The man and I end up sharing a table for dinner. We’re now good friends and we laugh about that meeting a lot.)


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