Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Board-ering On Insane

, | WY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a Mexican fast food restaurant and some of our tacos come with a cardboard sleeve to help keep the ingredients from spilling. A customer orders one to try. A few moments later I see my register worker staring in amazement into the lobby. It turns out the customer is taking bites out of his taco AND the cardboard instead of removing it. We watch as he eats the whole sleeve with his taco. A few moments later…)

Customer: “I just wanted to say I loved my burrito but the taco seemed dry.”

Me: *trying to keep a professional face* “I’m sorry about that, sir. Let me make it up to you by making you another for free.”

(My coworkers and I made another taco and made sure no sleeve was on it. He smiled and sat down and ate the taco. We’re still not sure he realized what he did.)

Snickering At The Service

, | Sylva, NC, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work at a sandwich shop during my first few years of college. One day during a slow period my two coworkers see this lady come inside on the security cameras. My coworkers immediately say ‘not it!’ so I go up to take care of this woman’s order. The lady is already irritated and being short with me, over something like she’s late or she’s had a bad day. The order is going along fine until we get to the part where she tells me what veggies she wants.)

Customer: “And now I want the snicker cheese.”

Me: *confused* “The what?”

Customer: “The snicker cheese.”

Me: *still confused* “…like the candy bar?”

Customer: “Yes, the cheese that tastes like the Snicker’s candy bar.”

(It turns out she wants the parmesan oregano. I can tell you from experience parmesan oregano tastes nothing like a Snicker’s candy bar. After finishing the woman’s order, I go back and my coworkers ask me what was up with her. I tell them what she said and they both just kind of give me this weird look.)

Me: “You don’t believe me, do you?”

Coworker: “No, I believe you. Something that stupid can’t be made up.”

Closing Time Crime

, | WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a fast food restaurant that closes at 9:30 pm. A customer comes in just before then, as I am helping close up for the day.)

Customer: “Hi. I ordered an eight-piece fried chicken during my lunch break, and got baked instead.”

Me: “All right, sir. I’m terribly sorry. Do you want a refund or a correct order?”

Customer: “I’d like what I ordered, please. The eight-piece fried chicken meal.”

Me: “Sure, sir. We’re about to close, so at this point at night, we aren’t making the fried chicken anymore.”

Customer: “What? But you’re a fried chicken place!”

Me: “Yes, we are, but we’re also closing for the night.”

Customer: “Okay, so, can I get an order that’s the same amount of money?”

Me: “No problem. I just need the receipt and I can get you that, sir.”

Customer: “The receipt? Oh, I think I threw that away.”

(I look at him apologetically. I cannot correct an order or give a refund without the receipt.)

Me: “What? Sir, I cannot give you your meal without the receipt.”

Customer: “What? It’s just a piece of paper, I had the wrong order earlier and now I want what I paid for!”

Me: “Sir, we fill out hundreds of orders around lunch time and I would not be able to find your order among them.”

Customer: “I WANT MY FRIED CHICKEN!”

Me: “Sir, please lower your voice. We don’t have the fried chicken, and without your receipt I can’t give you a refund.”

Customer: “[Other Fast Food Chain] doesn’t need receipts to give me my food!”

Me: “Sir, I am fairly sure they do. Look, it’s closing time but I can try to look through our computer system to find your order.”

(He suddenly backs down a bit, from menacing to nervous.)

Customer: “No, no, that’s okay. I’ll just go get dinner somewhere else.”

(He leaves quickly. My manager walks over to see what it was about, and after I tell him, he shakes his head.)

Manager: “I’m willing to bet there was no receipt, and he was just after a free meal!”

An Off-Color Purchase

| Dedham, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I work in the beer and wine department of a large supermarket chain. A very elderly customer comes in a couple times a month and asks us to give him two different white wines, six bottles of each. This day, he approaches me.)

Customer: “Could you help me? I want two red wines, six bottles of each.”

Me: “What do you typically like?”

Customer: “I don’t care. What do you think I’ll like?”

(I suggest a couple wines, he takes them without complaint.)

Customer: “You know, for ten years I’ve been drinking nothing but white wine, because I didn’t want to spill it and stain the carpet. But you know what I realized? F*** it!”

Taxing Taxing

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(Two customers come in close to closing and order three milkshakes. One of my employees makes them, they pay and leave. Five minutes later they come back in.)

Customer #1: “These shakes all taste funny. We tried all three. They’re all sour. We would like our money refunded.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. Give me just a moment.”

(The card charges for the day don’t go through until we manually process them at the end of the night. Rather than giving them a refund for the charge amount, I find their exact order and comp off the shakes, making their order total $0.00 and removing their charge from having ever existed. I hand them a copy of the comped receipt.)

Me: “Well, here you go. Sorry about the shakes. Have a good night.”

Customer #1: “This is only for $8.70. We were charged $9.22.”

Me: “It just says $8.70 because that’s the price for the shakes without tax, which was removed from the bill making the total bill zero. The tax isn’t displayed because no tax can be added to a total of zero.”

Customer #2: “What, so I’m still being charged the tax!?”

Me: “No… The total is zero. There is no charge being made at all to your card. The comp here says $8.70 because that is the original price for the shakes. ”

Customer #2: “So you only refunded me $8.70, not $9.22.”

Me: “The original price was removed entirely, making the total zero. As there is no total on your order now, there is no tax, so it’s not displayed. That’s just the way the receipt displays the information. The charge was reversed entirely. The total displayed is zero dollars and zero cents, which is the new total for your order.”

(The customers, brows still furrowed, cautiously leave. Another moment later, customer #2 comes back in.)

Customer #2: “Could I just have your name to reference in case of further incident?”

Me: “Uh, sure, my name is [My Name].”

(I include the incident in my end of the night communications to the next day’s managers in case anything comes up. I also work the next day, but am not the manager in charge. The next day, the manager comes to talk to me about mid-afternoon.)

Manager: “Did you see your shake lady come in?”

Me: “No. What? You mean the lady who thought I was charging her tax? From last night?”

Manager: “Yeah, she actually came in! I had to explain to her that it wasn’t an actual refund but a reversal. She wasn’t getting it. I was like, it was a same day charge so we can just remove the charge from ever having happened rather than the hassle of doing a refund.”

Me: “Yeah, I explained the same exact thing to her…”

Manager: “She asked to speak to a manager, I should have gotten you!” *laughs*

Me: “Oh, man, that would have been great. She drove all the way back up here over 52 cents.”

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