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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Don’t Have Beef With Hinduism

    , | Kanpur, India | Food & Drink, Religion, Theme Of The Month, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m on a trip to India, and decide to eat at a local McDonald’s. In front of me is a pair of American tourists.)

    Tourist #1: *in very bad Hindi* “Yes, I want a Big Mac.”

    Cashier: “Sir, I understand English, if you would be more comfortable. So you want a Chicken Maharaja Mac?”

    Tourist #2: “I thought you said you knew English? A Big Mac doesn’t have chicken, dumb-a**!”

    (Hoping to speed this along, I decide to get involved.)

    Me: “None of the McDonald’s in India offer beef. The local version of the Big Mac is made using grilled chicken patties instead. It’s actually pretty good.”

    Tourist #1: “Man, who the h*** doesn’t eat beef?”

    Me: “About one billion Hindus, most of them in India.”

    (They both quietly place their orders, all the time mumbling about ‘pandering to locals.’)

    Must Have Coasted Through Her Geography Lessons

    | MA, USA | Food & Drink, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (It’s important to note this takes place in Massachusetts, on the east coast of the USA.)

    Tourist: “I’d like to get [coffee], and my daughter will have [more complicated coffee].”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be [amount].”

    Tourist: “Oh, I left my money in my car. I’ll be back.”

    (She leaves, and I am forced to move on to the next customer. Her daughter waits patiently for a good 15-20 minutes. Then her mother returns. She rudely interrupts another customer.)

    Tourist: “Um, excuse me, WHY haven’t you made our drinks yet?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, there was a line—”

    Tourist: “I was here first! Now make our drinks, and I have to use your bathroom.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have a bathroom for customers.”

    Tourist: “WHEN YOU PAY FOR STUFF IN RESTAURANTS IN NEW JERSEY, WHERE I’M FROM, YOU CAN USE THE F***ING BATHROOM! GOD! This is why I NEVER come to the east coast!”

    (The tourist and her daughter depart, much to the dumbfounded disbelief of the customers remaining. I exchange glances with a customer.)

    Me: “…doesn’t she know New Jersey is on the east coast?”

    Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Went

    | NH, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (A woman approaches the register, and sets down four half-eaten chocolate bars from our candy aisle.)

    Customer: “I sampled these chocolates, and didn’t like the consistency, so I don’t want them anymore.”

    (The customer starts to walk away.)

    Coworker: “Okay, well I’m sorry about that, but you’re still going to have to pay for these.”

    Customer: “But I didn’t like them!”

    Coworker: “Right, but you can’t just take things without paying. What made you think that would be okay?”

    Customer: “THEY WERE JUST SITTING IN MY CART; WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”

    Food For Thoughtless, Part 2

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m waiting for my food at a popular restaurant that calls your order number, and then puts your food up on a counter so you can grab it.)

    Cook: “Order number [X].”

    (I’m walking, up when a customer runs up and grabs at the food.)

    Customer: “What is this? This isn’t what I ordered!”

    (The customer starts taking the sandwich apart.)

    Customer: “I didn’t order this! What’s this?”

    (The customer starts picking parts of the salad out with her fingers.)

    Customer: “I ordered a roast beef and soup!”

    Cook: “Were you order number [X]?”

    Customer: “No. My order number is [Y].”

    Cook: “Then that’s not your food. That belongs to someone else.”

    Customer: “Well you should have said something!”

    (The customer stomps off. I look at my ripped apart sandwich that someone has just been grabbing.)

    Me: “I’m order number [X]. Sorry, I tried to speak up.”

    Cook: “Don’t worry; I’ll remake that for you. You wouldn’t believe how often this happens.”

    Related:
    Food For Thoughtless

    Tivo Side Effects

    , , | UK | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Technology, Top

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]; can I take your order please?”

    (The customer asks for an item from the promotion that finished last week.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; that promotion has finished.”

    Customer: “I want a [finished promotion item], like on the TV.”

    Me: “We do not have that item anymore I’m afraid.”

    (The customer once again demands the item, saying it slowly and separates the words like I don’t understand what he has asked for. Again, I tell him that the item is no longer on the menu, and he proceeds to ask me for it another three times.)

    Me: “Sir, the burger you’re requesting is no longer available. We now have [new promotional item] instead. Would you like one of those?”

    Customer: “No! Listen to me woman: I want a [ended promotion item]! If you can’t do your job, get someone who can on the line! Stupid f****** b****!”

    (My manager has walked in to see what the hold up is. He is also wearing a headset, and has heard everything. He waves his hand at me to turn my microphone off, and he takes over.)

    Manager: “Sir, the item you are requesting is no longer available; instead, we have [new promo item].”

    Customer: “Why is this so hard to f*****g understand!? I want a [ended promo item]! I want it as a large meal with a chocolate milkshake!”

    Manager: “That item is no longer available.”

    Customer: “Then why are you still f****** advertising it on the TV!?”

    Manager: “We’re not, sir.”

    (The customer huffs loudly after shouting several curse words at my manager, speeding past the drive thru window with his middle finger up. I’m shaking from stress, and on the verge of tears. I don’t deal with immense pressure very well, so my manager lets me go on a break. I return to the window after my break. After a few cars, the same customer from before drives up again. Reluctant to deal with him, I call over my manager, who takes the microphone.)

    Manager: “Welcome to [store name].”

    (The customer looks very shaken on the camera.)

    Customer: “Ey er… is that girl I was talking to still there?”

    Manager: “Yes she is here next to me; why do you ask?”

    Customer: “Can you put her on the microphone, please?”

    (My manager looks at me, and I nod a little, activating my microphone.)

    Me: “Yes, what would you like, sir?”

    Customer: “Listen, I’m so sorry about earlier. It turns out I was watching a pre-recorded TV show. Can I have [order], and add a large meal on top for yourself and your boss; I’ll pay for it!”

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