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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Customer Gets Carded Anyway

    | Manchester, England, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I am working the drive-thru, and the card machine has just gone down. There are a number of cars already waiting in line, so I go outside to put signs up and tell them about the problem.)

    Me: “Hello, madam, I am very sorry, but we are having problems with our card machine. If you need to pay by card, you will need to go inside the restaurant.”

    Customer: “Well why the f*** didn’t you tell me before?”

    Me: “I am very sorry but this problem has only just occurred.”

    Customer: “You stupid b****, I asked why didn’t you tell me before I queued up!”

    Me: “I walked out here as soon as we had the problem, and again, I am sorry for the inconvenience.”

    (The customer starts screaming at me, so I walk behind her car to go and tell the next customer.)

    Customer: “Don’t walk away from me b****. I was talking to you! Are you stupid?”

    (The customer then reverses her car into me hard, knocking me to the floor.)

    Customer: “You damaged my car you little s***! I am phoning the police!”

    (Someone comes out to help me, and calls an ambulance. Both the ambulance and police arrive, and surprise, surprise, it isn’t me that is arrested!)

    Service With A Smile

    , | Peoria, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive thru and I’m in a good mood.)

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Your total comes to $3.47 and a smile!”

    (I smile at her.)

    Customer: “Excuse me? How rude! How dare you?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “I don’t want to smile, and you can’t make me. Just give me my d*** food.”

    (The customer leaves.)

    Manager: “What was her problem?”

    Me: “I ‘charged’ her a smile.”

    Manager: “I hate drive thru.”

    Not The Brightest Of The Bunch

    | NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am standing at the front counter next to the bowl of bananas we have for making smoothies. A customer in his mid-20s approaches the counter.)

    Customer: “Hey, do you sell any bananas?”

    Me: “Yes, we do have bananas. However, we cannot sell them to you as we need them for our smoothies.”

    Customer: “Great! How much for one?”

    Me: “They’re not for sale; we need them. There is a shopping center close by. If you go there, they can sell you bananas, and cheaply too.”

    Customer: “Okay… then how much for a banana smoothie?”

    Me: “That will be $4.99 for a small, and $5.99 for a large.”

    Customer: “Okay… can I get a banana smoothie, but can you not ‘smoothie’ it?”

    Their Granola Is Rockin’

    | NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (We have small bags of granola that is made in-house in front of the register with a sign saying that it is homemade. A customer picks one up after ordering and receiving his coffee.)

    Customer: “Oh wow, $2 for this?! It better be good granola!”

    Me: “Well we do make it in-house.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but how hard can it be? You’re not back there banging rocks or anything. What goes into it?”

    Me: “Well, you mix oats and honey with nuts. Then you have to bake—”

    Customer: “Oh, so you do make it yourself! That’s cool!”

    (The customer leaves.)

    Coworker: “What was that about?”

    Me: “Whether or not we bang rocks to make our granola?”

    Coworker: “Oh, of course.”

    When Humans Fail The Turing Test

    , | Hertfordshire, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

    (I work on the drive thru.)

    Me: “Hi there, can I take your order?”

    Customer: “HELLO?”

    Me: “Hi, can I take your order please?”

    Customer: “CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I can hear you. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I WANT TO PLACE AN ORDER.”

    Me: “Umm, yeah, can I take your order please?”

    Customer: “CAN I PLACE MY F****** ORDER?”

    Me: “Sir, can you hear me? I’m asking for your order?”

    Customer: “OF COURSE I CAN F****** HEAR YOU! I’M NOT DEAF! I JUST WANT A CHEESEBURGER! THAT’S ALL I WANT!”

    Me: “Okay, sir, drive to the first window to pay.”

    (The customer drives around, and looks furious. He pays by card.)

    Customer: “It says ‘insert card’.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Well, does that mean now?!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, please insert your card and follow the instructions.”

    Customer: “Well now it’s saying ‘please wait’!”

    Me: “Yes, the machine is just checking your card. Please wait.”

    Customer: “‘Insert pin,’ does it mean the pin for this card, or my credit card?”

    Me: “It means insert your pin for the card in the machine.”

    (The customer finally pays and drives off, only to return moments later.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, can I help?”

    Customer: “HELLO?! HELLO ORDER-ROBOT! THIS CHEESEBURGER HAS PICKLES; I DON’T WANT PICKLES! AND I DIDN’T GET MY FRIES AND DRINK! ORDER-ROBOT, WHO DO I SPEAK TO?”

    Me: “Sir, you can speak to me! I’m a person not a robot. We can correct your order for you, but you only got a cheeseburger because that’s what you ordered.”

    Customer: “ORDER ROBOT, I WANT KETCHUP FOR MY FRIES! F****** machines are useless!”


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