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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 2

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

    (There is a sizable line in the drive-thru. A rental car pulls up to order.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant]; how can I serve you today?”

    (The customer and his wife proceed to order. They order a lot of food. The customer has a thick French accent, and I have to ask him to repeat a few things.)

    Customer: “How long is this going to take?”

    Me: “Well, we’re kind of busy; it will take about 15 minutes.”

    (I begin repeating the order back to the customer to verify that it’s right, but he pulls ahead while I’m still speaking. About 15 minutes later, he pulls up to the window. My coworker brings them their food when it is ready.)

    Coworker: “All right, so I have [order] for you.”

    Customer: “No, that’s wrong. We wanted [order].”

    (My coworker is fairly new, so I decide to take over. I send the revised order to the kitchen and ask them to remake it. Five minutes later, the order is done.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Here is your order.”

    Customer: “That’s not all; we want milkshakes, too.”

    (I am very frustrated with this customer, but I keep it under control and ring up the milkshakes. I took five years of French class in high school, so I can understand it fairly well.)

    Customer: *to wife, in French* “This place is terrible.”

    Customer’s Wife: “It’s so slow!”

    Customer: “And that skinny white boy is very rude.

    Customer’s Wife: “Don’t be mean; he’s probably not that smart.”

    (They laugh, and continue making fun of me. I finish making the milkshakes, and walk over to the window with a beaming, ear-to-ear smile.)

    Me: *in French* “Thank you for your business today.”

    (The man makes eye contact with me. His eyes are nearly bulging out of his head, as he realizes I have understood every word he and his wife said. I keep my eyes locked on his, and maintain my ghoulish grin.)

    Me: *in French* “It was a pleasure to serve you today.”

    Customer: *drops milkshakes in wife’s lap and accelerates away*

    Related:
    This Round He Lost (In Translation)

    A Drought Of Nice Customers

    | Palmerston North, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (We are having a really bad drought in the North Island at the moment, so we have some serious water restrictions. It’s the top of everyone’s mind, and everyone’s talking about it.)

    Me: *to customer at drive-thru* “That’ll be [total].”

    Customer: “Okay, here you go. Wow, it’s going to be another scorcher today, huh?”

    Me: “I know, I’m just about to go do a rain dance.”

    Customer: “I know how you feel. We’re on tank water, and it’s running a little low for us.”

    Me: “Well, in town we’ve just got all the regular restrictions; we’re not watering and stuff. My mum’s so upset; she’s lost her entire veggie garden because she can’t water during the day.”

    Customer: “That must be pretty hard on her. We’re doing okay, because we’ve been so careful and everything.”

    (My coworker hands me her meal, and I hand it straight out.)

    Me: “Here you go, all done!”

    Customer: “Wow, that was fast! Thanks!”

    (I think she’s about to drive away, so I move to shut the window.)

    Customer: “Hang on! Can I see your manager, please?”

    (Confused, I grab the manager on the floor.)

    Manager: “Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “I just wanted to tell you how lovely it is to get a pleasant employee at the drive-thru window. This young lady has been talking to me the entire time I was here, and it made the time absolutely fly. You so rarely get pleasant people in the service industry. I just wanted to say how nice she was. Thank you, and have a good day!”

    (With that, she drives off. My manager gives me a thumbs-up, and I feel good the rest of my shift. Sometimes you get some good ones!)

    The Four Pillars Of Bad Behavior

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work in a poutine place downtown; we stay open until 4 am on weekends due to the nightlife. We never usually have an issue with drunk people.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry; we do not accept credit. Do you have another method of payment?”

    Customer: “I will have you know I am the f****** niece of the owner, and he will have you all fired!”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, that does not address the issue at hand.”

    Customer: “You f****** f**!”

    (She continues to throw insults at my coworker, telling him to go back to Africa, despite him being Caucasian. He maintains his composure.)

    Customer: “F*** you, just let me pay for my f****** food!”

    (I am right around the corner, and am an African-American female. I decide to intervene.)

    Me: “[Coworker] seems to have a lot more patience for your crap than I do. Our machines do not recognize credit cards, and that fact is completely irrelevant to his orientation. Moreover, the owner’s only brother isn’t even 30, and therefore cannot biologically have a daughter in her 20s. And that stuff about going back to Africa? You can take that up with me. Have a nice night!”

    (The customer falls silent. The crowd parts as she exits the store.)

    Coworker: “Wow, remind me not to p*** you off!”

    Me: “Don’t worry; you won’t be seeing that again. It’s one thing to be so disrespectful, another to be a compulsive liar, another to be homophobic, and another to be racist. She needed a talking to!”

    (All the customers who witness the incident tip us really well for dealing with her!)

    Reading Aloud Shouldn’t Be Allowed

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Top

    Customer: “I’d like to buy a dozen donuts.”

    Me: “Sure! What kind would you like?”

    Customer: “What kind do you have?”

    Me: “Sir, all of our donuts are on display behind me, with labels in front of them. You can have a look, and tell me what you would like.”

    Customer: “I can read! I want you to tell me what kind of donuts you sell! That’s your job!”

    (I turn around, and proceed to read each label aloud. My coworker at the ice cream counter watches and snickers. The man waits until I have read every label, and then makes his selections.)

    Me: “Will that be all?”

    Customer: “Do you have muffins?”

    (I gesture to the shelves full of muffins.)

    Me: “Yes, we have a variety of muffins.”

    Customer: “What kind?”

    (My coworker chokes with laughter. I turn around again, and read the muffin labels. When I finish, the man selects two muffins.)

    Me: “Will that be all?”

    Customer: “I think I’ll have some ice cream, too.”

    Me: “Okay! I’ll ring up your items here, and then you can go and make your selections at the ice cream counter.”

    (The man completes his order, then goes over to the ice cream section. My coworker is still giggling with his back to the counter, and hasn’t seen the customer yet.)

    Customer: “What kind of ice cream do you have?”

    Coworker: *stops giggling*

    The Race(ist) For The Last Chicken

    | Preston, England, UK | Bigotry, Food & Drink

    (I work late shifts, and mark down items to their final reduction.)

    Customer: “Have you not got any more cheap chicken?”

    Me: “No, sir, the lady just over there took our last pack, unfortunately.”

    (I gesture towards a small, lovely, Indian lady, who had come by and picked up some chicken breasts I just marked down.)

    Customer: “I’m not racist, but f****** p**** are always turning up and taking all the good stuff early! You can never stay one step ahead of them d*** foreigners!”

    Me: “Well, we have a first come, first served policy. Regardless of who she is, she was here first.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but you know what I mean! They come over here, and take everything for granted. They do what they f****** like, and take our cheap food! You follow me, don’t ya’?”

    Me: “Well, no, I don’t. Like I said, we have a first come, first served policy. We also have a policy against incendiary language, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Here’s a little hint for you; when you say “I’m not racist, but—”, it usually means you’re about to be racist. The exit’s third on the left.”


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