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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Fickle Over A Nickel

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    (The store where I work has a coffee booth near the express lane, where I am working one day. Customer #1, an elderly man, comes to my register with a small coffee. He puts a dollar, two quarters, and four pennies on my counter.)

    Customer #1: “It should be $1.54 for this coffee, right?”

    Me: “I think so. Let me check.”

    (I ring it up and with tax it comes to $1.59.)

    Me: “Oh, sorry. Looks like it’s actually $1.59. You were close though!”

    (The man frowns and pulls out a wad of bills. He has twenties, tens, fives, and several more dollar bills.)

    Customer #1: *muttering* “I might as well give you a twenty to get a nickel!” *stuffs all his money back in his pockets* “You can just keep the d*** coffee!”

    (He storms off, leaving me speechless. The next customer stares after him.)

    Customer #2: “Goodness! What was his problem?”

    Me: “He was a nickel short for his coffee and didn’t want to give me another dollar instead.”

    Customer #2: “Is that what all the fuss was about? Shoot, I could have given him a nickel!”

    Me: “I have some dimes in my pocket, but I don’t think he would have accepted that either.”

    Customer #2: *shaking her head* “Shame. It seems like he really could have used that coffee!”

    Low On The Milk Of Human Kindness

    | West Sussex, England, UK | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Wild & Unruly

    (My wife and I do our weekly shop every Monday. My wife’s a primary school teacher and has a very calm, nature. She’s also practiced judo since early childhood, runs a class at weekends, and has a self-defense class that uses non-excessive force. My wife has offered to get the ingredients for her school to make pancakes the next day, as it is the day before Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day). Most ingredients are shared but we need 14 two-pint jugs of milk. My wife is at the pancake display. There are loads of ready made, ready mix, and separate ingredient on display. My wife is counting out the 14 jugs of milk, when another customer approaches.)

    Customer: “Jesus, lady, leave some for the rest of us.”

    Wife: *looking at the display* “I’m sure there’s enough for everyone.”

    (My wife moves the trolley to try and leave.)

    Customer: “Stuck-up b****.”

    (My wife carries on moving as she has what she needs.)

    Customer: *moving his trolley to block my wife* “Hey, don’t ignore me. I asked you a question.”

    Wife: “No, you didn’t. You told me to leave some, even though there’s more than enough. Then you called me a stuck-up b****. Please move your trolley so I can get away from you.”

    Customer: “How many you got in there? 14?” *he takes two milks out* “Now you only have 10.”

    Wife: “Not only are you rude, you’re also an idiot. 14 minus 2 is 12.” *reaches out and gets two more milks* “Now there’s 14 again.”

    (She moves her trolley quickly around the man. By now people are starting to stare. I make a move to go to her but she gives me a look so I stay where I am. The man takes a step towards her and puts his hand around her wrist.)

    Customer: “You think you’re better than me, b****?!”

    Wife: *very calmly* “Sir, I have tried to ignore you’re insults and politely asked you to move. You will not leave me alone. Now you have placed you hands on me in a threatening manner. This is considered assault. If you do not let go of me NOW I am within my rights to defend myself. Do you understand?”

    (The customer just looks at her as if she’s spoken another language.)

    Wife: “I have given you fair warning. I am obliged to warn you that I know judo. Please let go of me.”

    (My wife tries to move her arm but he holds a little tighter.)

    Customer: “You think you can hurt me, you b—”

    (My wife uses the heel of her hand to strike the man in the face, causing his nose to bleed. She then flips him, where he lands with an almighty crash half on the floor and half on the display. While he is laying, screaming, she bends his index finger back (without breaking it) so he cannot get away. We hear heavy footsteps as security and staff comes running. People are just standing around, amazed.)

    Security Guard: “What’s going on? Miss, you need to let go of him now, please.”

    Wife: *very calmly* “This man was very rude and abusive to me. I asked him several times to leave me alone but he held my arm. I warned him I know judo, but he decided to hold on tighter. I then defended myself against a personal attack.

    (The police were called and the man was taken away. My wife, I, and a few other customers were questioned by police as to what happened. As we all said the same thing, and my wife did not use excessive force, we were all told to go on our way. The supermarket donated the pancake ingredients to the school and my wife and I received £500 in vouchers. The customer has been banned from that store and the other major supermarkets in the area.)

    Doesn’t Want To Provide Proof

    | East Lothian, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Religion

    (An elderly Muslim woman and her niece, who is in her 30s, are regular customers. They are both very nice people and are always friendly. Today the niece is in on her own and approaches the checkout.)

    Niece: “Is my aunt in?”

    Me: “I haven’t seen her.”

    Niece: “Is her car in the car park?”

    (I look as far as I can into the store car park.)

    Me: “I can’t see it.”

    Niece: “Good. Can I have a litre-bottle of [Cheap Brand] vodka, please.”

    It’s Not Cute

    | Aurora, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (At my store we sell a brand of clementines known as ‘Cuties.’. Sadly, this is kind of a common occurrence.)

    Me: “Sir, would you like your cuties in the box or in a bag?”

    Customer: *takes them out of the box and hands it to me* “This is for you, because you’re such a cutie.” *winks*

    Me: “Um… thanks…” *smiles awkwardly and finishes the transaction* “All right, sir, your total is [amount]. Would you like any help out to your car tonight?”

    Customer: “Will you be the one helping me out?”

    Me: “No, that would be him.” *points to the male courtesy clerk*

    Customer: *face falls* “Then, no.”

    Mayo-Phased

    , | Fort Collins, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Two girls order a foot-long and split it. One of them wants mayonnaise and the other one doesn’t.)

    Coworker: “Do you want me to wrap this as two six inches?”

    Girl #1: “No, thanks.”

    (They take the sub and leave. About four minutes later, they walk up with a bite taken out of one half.)

    Girl #1: “You didn’t put mayonnaise on my half.”

    Girl #2: “You put mayonnaise on my half.”

    Me: “Did you try swapping them?”

    (The girls blink, look at themselves, and then at me.)

    Girl #2: “Oh, my God. I’m an IDIOT!”

    Girl #1: “I’m SOOO sorry for this!”

    (They walk away laughing.)

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