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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,126 thumbs up)
  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    A Minor Mistake, Part 2

    | Northland, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m the night supervisor at a supermarket. I’m in my 20s but look younger than I am.)

    Customer: “I have wine here. You’ll need to call your supervisor.”

    Me: “That’s okay, ma’am. I am the supervisor on duty tonight.”

    Customer: “Really? Surely you have to be old enough to drink it before you can sell it.”

    Me: “Well, yes. But I am old enough to drink and have been for a few years now.”

    Customer: “No, you haven’t. You look like a child.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you. I’m in my 20s. But I’ll take that as a compliment.”

    (The customer begins to rant about child labour laws.)

    Me: “Thank you. Have a nice night.”

    Customer: “GO TO BED!”

    Related:
    A Minor Mistake

    The Race Card Is Double Sided

    | Mobile, AL, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (My husband and I are new to the area. We are trying out a popular fried chicken restaurant that is on a side of town primarily occupied by black people. I am white, and my husband is Mexican.)

    Me: “This chicken is great!”

    Husband: “Yeah, but it’d be better with some hot sauce! I’ll go get some!”

    (I slide out of the booth we are in to let him out. As I step back I accidentally bump another patron who is walking back up front to refill his drink. He drops his cup.)

    Me: “Oops! I’m sorry!”

    Customer: *glaring at me* “What’s wrong with you? You in the wrong side of town. You think you can hit me just cuz I’m black?! Racist b****!”

    (My husband is about to intervene, but I speak up.)

    Me: “You think you can say that just because I’m white?”

    Customer: *long pause* “…say what?”

    Me: “You think you can claim I’m racist just because I’m white?”

    Customer: “I… you… what?”

    Me: “Seeing as how my husband is Mexican, I don’t think you can cry racism on this one, man. Nice try.”

    (I pick up his cup and get a whiff of what he was drinking.)

    Me: “What were you drinking? Sprite?”

    Customer: “…yeah.”

    (I go refill his drink for him and hand it back to him with a smile on my face.)

    Me: “There ya go.”

    Customer: “You pretty nice, for a cracker.”

    Me: “You’re pretty nice, for someone so ignorant. Racism works both ways, man. Don’t let it—”

    Customer: “—yeah. Okay. Sorry.”

    (Thankfully, my husband and I finish our meals without any more interruptions.)

    Hard Core Herbivore

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (It’s towards the end of the lunch rush. I am washing dishes in the back of our café. I overhear an exchange between a customer and a coworker.)

    Customer: *very politely* “Could I have a vegetarian pastie, please?”

    Coworker: “I’m very sorry, but I’ve just sold the last one.”

    Customer: “So, there’s no vegetarian pasties?”

    Coworker: “No, I’m sorry. But maybe you’d like to try—”

    Customer: “FINE! I GUESS I’LL JUST F****** STARVE THEN!” *storms out*

    You Say Milk, I Say Epinephrine

    | Portland, ME, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in a fairly well known coffee shop chain. A woman comes up to the bar to pick up her drink.)

    Me: “[Name], your venti iced no whip mocha.”

    Customer: “Excuse me! Does that have milk in it?”

    Me: “The iced mocha?”

    Customer: “Yes. That’s what I ordered: iced mocha coffee, no whip.”

    Me: “Yes. It’s made with milk by default.”

    Customer: “WELL, I DIDN’T WANT IT MADE WITH MILK! I AM HIGHLY ALLERGIC!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. Let me remake that for you. So, you’d like iced coffee with mocha syrup and no whip?”

    Customer: “Whatever. Fine. Yes. Mocha coffee iced with no whip.”

    (I remake her drink rather quickly.)

    Me: “Here you are. Sorry about that. Let me take that other one.”

    Customer: “If it’s okay– I know you’re gonna dump it; I was hoping I could have it.”

    Me: *confused* “Okay. That’s fine.”

    Customer: *puts a straw in both* “Yum! These are both great! Thanks!”

    Related:
    You Say Tomato, I Say Epinephrine
    You Say Potato, I Say Epinephrine

    Shell Shocked

    , | Rehoboth Beach, DE, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (It is late at night, in the middle of summer. I’m working at the first window, taking orders as well as working the register. The customer I get sounds drunk, but I don’t think too much of it until he gets to the window. The customer is in the rear seat of the car; thankfully the driver is sober.)

    Me: “Good evening. Your total is $[total].”

    Customer: “Okay… so that’s… uh…”

    (The customer stares at the money in his wallet for a moment before handing me a wad of bills.)

    Me: “Alright. Here’s your change and your recei—”

    (I turn to hand him his change, to see that he now has a large brown paper bag on his lap. He looks at me, then reaches in the bag and pulls out a crab covered in Old Bay seasoning.)

    Customer: “D’you want a crab?”

    Me: “Er… no thanks.”

    Customer: “You sure? They’re really good!”

    (The customer tries to hand me the crab anyways.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. We’re not allowed to take… tips?”

    Customer: “Aww… that sucks. Well, you have a nice night.”

    Me: “Here’s your change. You have a good night, too!”

    (My colleagues and I were all left wondering what he was doing getting fast food when he had something better!)

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