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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Their Scam Doesn’t Pan Out

    , | MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, School, Theme Of The Month

    (In our college cafeteria, you can eat as much as you want. I make and cook and cut pizza and serve it on a tray, where students can serve themselves. I have just made two cheese pizzas and put one of them on the serving tray. I have made a backup due to the lunch rush. Two students approach.)

    Student #1: “Excuse me; do you have any fresh pizza?”

    Me: “The one that is there came out of the oven less than five minutes ago. I’m sure it’s quite good.”

    Student #2: “But there’s two pieces missing.”

    Me: “Well, someone came and took some pizza since I put it out.”

    Student #1: “I want some fresh pizza. Why can’t you give me a piece of the one you have there?”

    (The student points to the pizza I just put in the hot box that is used to keep food warm.)

    Me: “That pizza came out of the oven at the same time as the one that’s out on the tray.”

    Student #1: “But it’s been sitting out.”

    Me: “For less than five minutes.”

    Student #2: “Fine. Whatever b****.”

    (I turn my back to continue making pizzas, when my manager approaches.)

    Manager: “Hey, you need to get another cheese pizza out, pronto!”

    Me: “Already? I just put one out!”

    (A coworker approaches us.)

    Coworker: “Dude, did you see what happened?”

    Manager: “What?”

    Coworker: “Those girls each took four pieces of pizza when your back was turned and threw it out so they could get ‘fresher’ pizza.”

    Me: “Are you serious?!”

    Coworker: “Yeah! Here they come!”

    Student #2: “Do you have a fresh pizza out?”

    Manager: “Did you just take an entire pizza and throw it out so that you could get a different one?”

    Student #1: “Well she wasn’t serving fresh pizza!”

    Coworker: “She’s lying! [My Name] had put that pizza out maybe two minutes before they came here. Two pieces were missing because the guy in front of them took them.”

    Manager: “We’re going to have to have a little chat about wasting perfectly good food.”

    (My manager had a long talk with the girls and got them to admit that they threw out an entire pizza. After that, my manager gave me permission to refuse service to those two. Thankfully, I never saw them again anyway.)

    Focusing On The Wrong Kind Of Cup Size

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I am a female in my early twenties, the only female working this particular shift with three burly male coworkers. I am on the front register taking orders and money, when a customer walks in. He is a sloppily-dressed old man.)

    Me: “Hi there! How are you?”

    Customer: “I’m doin’ great, sweetie. How ’bout you get me a big cup of coffee?”

    Me: “Sounds great. Do you need any room for cream in there, sir?”

    Customer: “I got some cream for ya!”

    (He winks lewdly at me. I try to shake it off.)

    Me: “Alright, here is your coffee. Anything else for you, sir?”

    Customer: “Nope. What’s my total so you can ring me up?”

    (The customer seems oddly eager to pay. I give him his total and he hands me a very worn credit card. I try to swipe through our machine once or twice before determining its magnetic strip is too worn to be read. I am about to start typing in the numbers, when he interrupts me, looking very flushed and excited.)

    Customer: “No, no, don’t type it in. It’ll work if you just rub it on your chest.”

    (I am a little creeped out, but I wipe the card off on the bottom of my apron and give it another shot. It still won’t run through.)

    Customer: “No, no, sweetie, I said it’ll work if you rub it on your chest. Actually, it’ll work best if I rub it on your chest for you.”

    (At this point, I’m done. I step back from the register without another word and call for one of my coworkers, a big, burly 33-year-old man whose other job is construction. He comes over as I am walking away.)

    Me: *to my coworker* “I’m going to the back because the man at the front is asking to rub things on my chest.”

    (My coworker walks up to the register and looks down at the customer. He is a good foot taller than the customer.)

    Coworker: “I heard you like rubbing things on people’s chests? Well, have at it.”

    (My coworker leans forward just as I go into the back room. I didn’t see what happened next, but my coworker told me the customer panicked and ran out of the store without paying and without his coffee. We never saw him again!)

    Not Quite Seasoned With The Omelet Station

    , | Nashville, TN, USA | Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work for a hotel with a complimentary breakfast that includes a made-to-order omelet station. I am making the omelets in plain sight of the customers, with all of my ingredients on display. A customer walks up and ignores a sign with ingredients listed and bowls on display, full of veggies.)

    Customer: “I want an omelet with all the vegetables.”

    Me: “Okay, all of the vegetables including the ja—”

    Customer: *cuts me off* “YES! All of them.”

    Me: “Okay, because we have—”

    Customer: *walks off*

    (I make an omelet with all of the vegetables, and call it out when it’s done. She comes and picks it up and walks off with out a word. About two minutes later, she comes back. Her face is red, and there are tears running down her face.)

    Customer: “I didn’t realize you had jalapeños!”

    Not Even A Nugget Of Truth

    | Tyler, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I am the only manager at a fast food restaurant on a night that is known for being slammed. We are short staffed, so I’ve been picking up the slack in many different parts of the store. I am trying to bag the 50 orders on the boards when the phone rings and is quickly handed to me by my coworker.)

    Coworker: “She needs to speak with a manager.”

    Me: “This is the manager; how may I serve you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was in your drive through earlier for lunch and I got the nugget meal. I drove all the way back to work and when I bit into my nugget red juice came out! I could tell they were all raw. Now I have to go ALL DAY without eating anything. I want my money back!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, I am very sorry you had this experience and can understand why you’re upset. I will personally speak with our kitchen manager to ensure the proper procedures are being used and I will be more than happy to replace your entire meal with any meal on the menu.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want anything else. I want my money back. I drove all the way there because I wanted to eat your food but I can assure you that I will not be eating at your restaurant again. You can’t even cook the food properly. DON’T YOU CARE ABOUT GETTING PEOPLE SICK?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you that food safety is most important at our restaurant. I am unable to give you a cash refund without the food present. I can give you a gift card for the price of your meal, or I can replace your meal with any other meal on the menu.”

    Customer: “I wont accept another meal! Do whatever you need to do to get me my money back, or I’ll go to the city and they’ll get it back. As a matter of fact, you owe me reimbursement for the gas it took for me to drive there and back only to get this s*** food!”

    (I get her information, and tell her I will have to leave a message for my supervisor, and that he would get back to her as soon as possible. She remains unsatisfied with my response and hangs up on me mid-sentence. First of all, every batch of nuggets is cooked at a specific temperature for a set time period every time they are cooked. Secondly, if there were some crazy incident where the nuggets did not get cooked thoroughly then we should expect that more than one customer would have experienced this issue as well. Finally, with the increasing addition to her list of demands and very detailed story and threats, I have the suspicion that she may be trying to scam me. After the phone call ends, I text my supervisor.)

    Me: “I told her I would speak to you and give you her information but she wants and cash refund and gas money.”

    Supervisor: “If she brings me back a raw nugget I will be happy to refund her meal.”

    Me: “She said she wouldn’t be back for days so I told her she probably shouldn’t keep them that long.”

    Supervisor: “Of course! And paying for her gas? Total scam. Thank you for playing. Come again.”

    The Customer Might Not Be Telling The Whole Tooth

    | Farmington, NM, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Welcome to [Pizza Restaurant]! Did you already have an order?”

    Customer: “No. Well sort of; I have a complaint for a pizza I just got.”

    Me: “Okay, I’m the manager on duty at the moment. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Well, I just got this pizza, and I bit into it, and, well, there was a tooth in it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, a tooth?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it looked like it was cooked. It’s real black.”

    (The area I live in has a meth abuse problem, as well as a lower than average annual income, so dental hygiene is not a strength of this particular community. As the customer is talking, I notice he has several rotten and black teeth, as well as several missing.)

    Me: “Um, okay. Do you have the pizza and, erm, tooth with you?”

    (He hands the pizza and tooth to me. The tooth indeed looks very blackened, though obviously not from cooking. I excuse myself to let the owner know the situation, and I enter his office at the time he is on the phone.)

    Owner: “No, ma’am, we don’t have security cameras outside the store. Did you let anyone know you had fallen? So you decided it wasn’t an issue over two years ago when you did slip and fall on our sidewalk, but suddenly it’s a problem for you? Well, I’m sorry, but without some sort of proof that you fell on our property, there isn’t much we can do for you. Very well, you can have your lawyer contact ours. Have a good day.”

    (The owner hangs up and looks at me.)

    Owner: “Your problem can’t possibly be worse than the lady I just dealt with. She claims she injured herself a few winters ago by slipping on ice on the sidewalk.”

    Me: “I think you’d be surprised.”

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