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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Food For Thought-ful

    | Durant, OK, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work in a gift shop inside a very successful casino. Our department is very small, and has suffered a few losses of faculty leaving us shorthanded for a small period. I am working a late shift unable to take any breaks but I don’t mind it. I’m used to being on my feet, but I am feeling very hungry. A customer comes in with bags of food wanting a few candy bars.)

    Me: “Oh my gosh, that smells so good.”

    Customer: “Yeah, double cheeseburger, onion rings and chili fries! I’m feeling hungry tonight!”

    Me: “Oh man, me too! I haven’t had a chance to eat today.”

    Customer: “You haven’t? Well, why not?!”

    Me: “The store is open 24 hours, and there’s no one else here to break me. It’s only for a little while though, and my relief comes in at midnight.”

    Customer: “But that’s so long!”

    Me: “It’s not that long, but that smell sure is making me hungry!”

    Customer: “You want me to order you some food?”

    Me: “Sir, you don’t have to do that!”

    Customer: “I want to!”

    (I continue ringing him up and hand him back his change.)

    Me: *chuckles* “Alright, thank you, sir. You have a good night.”

    Customer: “You the same!”

    (The customer leaves and the offer slips my mind as I continue working. Sure enough, about an hour later a drink-girl comes in with a tray full of all the food he described! I was astounded! Thank you, sir, for your generosity!)

    This Customer Is Not From Concentrate

    , | UK | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (We have three flavours of slushy in our slushy machine: raspberry, cherry and orange. Raspberry is blue, cherry is pink and orange is obviously orange. Customers usually refer to the slushy they want by the colors.)

    Customer: “What flavour is the orange slushy?”

    Me: “Orange flavoured.”

    Customer: “I know what the color is, I want to know the FLAVOUR.”

    Me: “It’s orange flavoured, ma’am, just like the fruit.”

    (The customer suddenly starts screaming at me.)

    Woman: “WHAT IS THE FLAVOUR! I CAN SEE THE COLOR OF THE D*** THING! WHAT FLAVOUR IS IT?!”

    (The customer’s daughter chimes in.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “Mum! It’s like orange juice! Chill out!”

    Woman: “Orange juice? Jeez, why couldn’t she just tell me that?! Two of those, please!”

    (The customer is perfectly pleasant with me for the rest of the transaction, and wanders off with her slushy happily!)

    A Birthday Surprise

    | Provo, UT, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am serving a young couple, and it is the woman’s 29th birthday. One of our hosts, a large Polynesian man, loves to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to people by himself.)

    Me: “Would you like a group of us to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you, or do you want that guy to sing to you?”

    Customer: “It’s okay; I’d rather not have anyone sing to me. By the way, has that table paid for their meal yet?”

    (The customer points at a table nearby, where a couple with their two young children are seated.)

    Me: “No, they haven’t.”

    Customer: “Okay, give this to them. Don’t tell them it’s from me.”

    (The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

    Me: “Wow, really? That’s really generous of you, and on your birthday!”

    Woman: “Yeah, I like to do something nice for someone on my birthday as a way to give back to the universe for all the crap I’ve done.”

    (We ended up giving her and her boyfriend free dessert. Her incredible generosity inspired me to try to do something like that on my birthday from now on. Sometimes humans are okay!)

    Two Wings Don’t Make Them Right

    , | Omaha, NE, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working at a restaurant that sells fried chicken. A customer approaches me after she has eaten her entire meal. The tray she’s carrying only has picked-clean chicken bones on it.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I ordered the white meat chicken meal, but got dark meat pieces instead. You need to give me a new meal.”

    Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, but the white meat chicken meal comes with a breast and wing, which is what you received.”

    Customer: “No, you gave me a leg and a thigh. I paid extra for the white meat meal and I demand that you give me a replacement!”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry for the confusion, but as you can see by the chicken bones on your tray, this piece was a breast piece. See the rib bones here, and this piece was a wing.”

    Customer: “Get me your manager NOW!”

    (My manager has heard the interchange and cordially comes over.)

    Manager: “I’m terribly sorry for the mistake, ma’am; here’s a replacement meal for you.”

    (My manager hands her another white meat meal.)

    Customer: “It’s about time!”

    (After the customer leaves, having left the tray with the chicken bones on it, I turn to my manager.)

    Me: “Why did she get a free replacement meal when it’s obvious that she got and completely ate what she ordered?”

    Manager: *smiling sadly* “The customer always thinks they’re right, even when they’re wrong. And especially when all they want is to throw a fit for free food. I’ve learned it’s easier to just give them what they want than to try to convince them to be decent people.”

    Me: “The customer is always right?”

    Manager: “Even when they’re wrong!”

    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themselves, Part 5

    | Stamford, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I’m deaf in one ear, and what makes it worse at this time is that I have an ear infection. This makes it extremely difficult to take customer’s drinks correctly, especially if they are saying them very fast. I have only asked this customer once to repeat what the milk and syrup were.)

    Customer: “Why do they have the least experienced person taking orders? How many times do I have to repeat myself?!”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am; I’m hearing impaired. I was only asking once again to make sure I charged you correctly and that your drink won’t be made wrong.”

    Customer: *flustered* “Well, then you should have to wear a sign or something to let people know that you can’t hear.”

    (The next customer in the queue chimes decides to chime in.)

    Next Customer: “Yeah, because the poor girl probably doesn’t feel embarrassed enough about having you yell at her and having to put up with a**holes like you.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?! How dare you! Forget my drink! I’ll just go somewhere else!”

    (The customer storms out.)

    Next Customer: “Wow, I’m so sorry about that. Do people normally act like that here?”

    Me: “She’s a regular…”

    Related:
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 4
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 3
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themself, Part 2
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

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