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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    A Nice Hot Cup Of Karma

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I work in a small sandwich shop owned by my parents. We are famous locally for giving great value for money. It is Saturday morning and I am on my own. A customer walks in.)

    Me: “Good morning, sir. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “How much is a tea?”

    Me: “£1.”

    Customer: “And how much do you get?”

    (I am a little taken aback by this, but I show him a cup. It’s roughly the same dimensions as a standard mug.)

    Customer: “That’s f****** ridiculous! Are you trying to f****** rip us all off!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t know what to say. We have the cheapest tea in the area that uses proper milk. I don’t make the prices!”

    (At this point a regular walks in.)

    Customer: “I don’t care! You don’t f****** know anything. Get me your godd*** manager. Do you know who I am?”

    Regular: “Excuse me? You shouldn’t swear at her, or call her stupid. She’s been serving me for a year now and she’s never let me down once!”

    Customer: *not looking at him or paying much attention* “Yeah, whatever, mate. Who the f*** do you think you are?”

    Regular: “Your boss’ husband.”

    (The customer turns, finally notices who the regular is, and runs out. I thank my regular by giving him a free plated breakfast. It later turns out that the customer was fired, ironically for poor customer service!)

    Some People Drive You To Drink

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am at a local grocery store looking for a specific brand of cat food. I have a few items in my cart, including a bottle of cooking wine. Suddenly, a customer comes from the back and SLAMS her cart pretty hard into mine.)

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: *unintelligible mumbling* “…serves you right!”

    (The customer quickly makes her way to the end of the aisle. I brush it off and keep looking for the cat food. A few seconds later the customer turns around and, this time, slams her cart pretty hard right into my thigh.)

    Me: “Ow! Lady, please. Slow down!”

    Customer: “Humph!”

    (The customer speeds around the corner. I am appalled that she didn’t even apologize but I brush it off again, thinking that this will be the end of it. However, not even a minute later, the lady comes back and slams her cart into me again, pushing me towards the shelves.)

    Me: “Really? Lady, this is the third time you crashed into me in less than five minutes! Is there anything wrong?”

    Customer: “Yeah! That serves you right for being an alcoholic!”

    Me: “Excuse me? I don’t even drink, not that it is any of your business!”

    Customer: “Liar! I see the wine bottle and all the beer, plus your face is all red. Alcoholic! Women like you should be ashamed!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s one bottle of cooking wine. This is not beer. It’s soda. My face is red because I had to spend a lot of time shoveling my car out in very cold weather. Once again, this is none of your business!”

    Customer: “And you admit to using a car! Drunks should not drive! Hhmph! Drunk harlot!”

    (She quickly takes off with her cart only to smash it into the opposite shelf, causing a lot of merchandise to drop on the floor.)

    Me: “Apparently, you shouldn’t drive either!”

    Funny Money

    , | LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am working in the drive thru lane. A car with two women in it pulls up. Both look strung out, like they are on drugs.)

    Me: “That’ll be [total].”

    (The driver doesn’t say anything to me but pulls a bill out of her wallet, smells it carefully, then nods to herself.)

    Customer: “Okay. This one’s good.”

    (She hands me the money and I try not to be too obvious that I’m very gingerly handling it. I washed my hands after they left, just in case!)

    No Thick Crust For Crusty Old Bigots

    | GA, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink

    (A regular at our restaurant comes in while I’m working the register. He’s about 60 and always smells like alcohol. He isn’t the nicest person. It is my first time dealing with him.)

    Me: “Hi there! What can I get for you?”

    (The regular walks the length of the counter, making sure he can see everyone in the back making pizzas.)

    Me: “Sir? Can I help you? Are you looking for someone?”

    Regular: “Sausage pizza.”

    Me: “Okay. That’ll be [price].”

    Regular: *pointing* “Is HE gonna cut it?”

    Me: “Who?”

    (The regular jabs his finger towards the 19-year-old coworker cutting the pizzas. He happens to be our only black employee.)

    Me: “Yes, sir. That’s his assigned station for the day. Is that a problem?”

    Regular: “If he’s gon’ touch it, I don’t want it.” *walks out*

    Manager: “What happened? Did he order anything?”

    Me: “No. He said he didn’t want it if [Coworker] was gonna cut it.”

    Manager: “Hey, [Coworker]. Do you know that guy?”

    Coworker: “Nope. Never seen him in my life.”

    Manager: “Wow. I knew he was a little rude but I didn’t know he was racist.”

    Me: “Why do we keep serving him?”

    Manager: “We’re not allowed to refuse service to anyone, according to company policy, unless he ‘physically or verbally assaults an employee or customer.’”

    (A few days pass until the regular comes in again. My coworker is working again, cutting pizzas, and I’m the cashier. My manager isn’t there.)

    Me: *with a friendly customer service voice and huge smile* “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t serve your kind here.”

    (The regular stares at me, confused. I just keep beaming that smile at him. Eventually he mumbles some racist and sexist slurs and walks out.)

    Coworker: “HAVE A NICE DAY!”

    Truthfully, He’s Totally Peanuts

    | PA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (My primary job at this store is cashier; however, today is my first day hanging tags. I begin in the organic and bulk sections when a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “I’m so glad you’re here [My Name]. You see, [My Name], it’s been a while since I’ve been in here, and I’m so glad that you have a bulk section. You see, [My Name], I love those peanut clusters. I would love to buy a bag of them, but I think it’s only right that I could sample them. So what do you say, [My Name]? Will you let me sample the wonderful peanut clusters?”

    Me: “Uhm, I’m not really the person you should be asking…”

    Customer: “Well, [My Name], then you and I shall go together. [My Name], we will find the truth. I am a man of honesty. I honestly do want to buy a bag, but I think it’s only right that I sample it. I’ve been to other [Store] and I fell in love with the peanut clusters. But I just have to know, [My Name]. I just have to know if they are the same wonderful peanut clusters.”

    (The customer leans forward, pulling open his shirt pocket. Inside are flower petals.)

    Customer: “I have eight of these petals. I give one to you, [My Name]. Because it represents the truth that we will find.”

    (I look around. Not seeing anyone from produce nearby, I begin to lead him to the front end where the front-end supervisor or the service desk clerks could call someone, or maybe even run into a manager on the way there.)

    Customer: “I don’t see [Manager] anywhere. She’s usually here. And I’m glad [Produce Employee] isn’t here. [Produce Employee] is a [homophobic slur]. He’s a nice guy, [My Name], but he’s a [homophobic slur].”

    (We reach the service desk. My coworker talks to the customer.)

    Coworker: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “You see, [Coworker], [My Name] and I wanted to know the truth. Your lovely peanut clusters over there, I’ve had some at another store, and they were most wonderful. But you see, [Coworker], I want to know the truth if they are the same delicious peanut clusters as the others. I would love to buy a bag, but I think it’s only right that I sample one. [Coworker], do you know the truth that [My Name] and I are trying to learn?”

    (My coworker glances at me nervously.)

    Coworker: “Uh…” *pointing to grocery manager nearby* “He’s the one you need to talk to.”

    (Overhearing us, the manager comes up to the service desk, followed by the front end supervisor.)

    Customer: “[My Name], will you please tell [Manager] about the truth we wish to learn. We need to learn the truth.”

    Manager: “I don’t have time for the truth.”

    Customer: “You hear that, [My Name]? [Manager] has no time for the truth!”

    Manager: “I’m afraid of the truth.”

    Me: “He just wanted to know if—”

    Customer: “No. I’m done here. He has no time for the truth.”

    (The customer left, and the manager went back to work as if nothing happened.)

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