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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    High On The Milk Of Human Kindness

    | ME, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I work at a small independent grocery store. I’m helping an older woman check out. The transaction goes smoothly until she gets a look of sudden realization.)

    Customer: “Oh! What do I do about unpaid milk quarts?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I was here the other day and I had two milk quarts but I didn’t get them.”

    Me: “You didn’t get them? Would you like to get them now? Or did you mean you accidentally left them behind?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, no. I… oh. dear. I didn’t see them in my cart and I’d forgotten I grabbed them, so I left without paying for them. I didn’t even think about it until I got home and checked my receipt.”

    Me: “Oh! Oh, I understand. Well, I could go grab a quart and ring it in with this order?”

    Customer: “Okay!”

    (I ask her what brand and kind of milk she got, then go fetch it and add two to her order.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to not pay for them.”

    Me: “Oh gosh. No, don’t be sorry! Thank you for your honesty. Most people would have just been like ‘sweet, free milk’ when they realized what had happened.”

    Customer: “Well, I just couldn’t live with doing that! Your selection might not be as big as [Chain Competitor]’s, but I’ve been shopping here since the current owner’s father was running the place. Everyone is always so helpful. I just couldn’t do something so unethical and mean!”

    (It’s not a glamorous job, but customers like her make me glad I’m working for a business like that!)

    Related:
    Low On The Milk Of Human Kindness

    Not Exactly Heavy Math

    | Roscoe, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I just finish helping someone when a young man walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Do you guys sell ice cubes?”

    Me: “Yes. Would you like an 8-pound bag or a 16-pound bag?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The 16-pound bag holds twice as much ice cubes as the 8-pound bag.”

    Customer: “Is that the heavier one?”

    Paying It Fast Forward

    , | Kirksville, MO, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I am in the drive through lane because I am delivering a forgotten hat to a roommate that works there. I rattle off my order and pull forward. I then notice that a truck, that for whatever reason has shut down in the other drive through lane, has turned on and I am unsure whether I have accidentally cut him off.)

    Me: “Uhm, I am the one with the [order].”

    (The cashier takes my credit card and pushes a couple buttons.)

    Me: “And could I pay for the guy-behind-me’s order? I think I cut him off.”

    Cashier: “Uh… hold on.”

    (She goes to the back to confer with the manager, and then pops back.)

    Cashier: “Yeah, one moment.”

    (She runs my card twice. I receive both receipts, deliver the hat to my roommate, get my food and then drive off. Later that night, my roommate comes home.)

    Roommate: “So, apparently you set off a chain reaction. The rest of the cars in the line started to pay for the next one. [Coworker] was so relieved when it stopped! It was so confusing!”

    One Man’s Chocolate Is Another Man’s Poison

    | Clearwater, FL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (My boyfriend and I are walking through a store when he notices a chocolate fountain on display.)

    Boyfriend: “Who would actually buy one of these? You can just rent them.”

    Me: “Probably someone who entertains a lot.”

    Boyfriend: “But if you owned one then your guests would never leave!”

    (Another customer has overheard us and butts in.)

    Random Creepy Customer: “Poison! If you poison them then they’ll never come back!”

    Boyfriend: “… I guess that’s true.”

    (At this point, my boyfriend quickly leads me to another aisle.)

    Boyfriend: *whispering* “If you ever see that customer again, don’t eat anything she offers you!”

    What The World Needs Now…

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work at an ice cream/burger joint with a drive thru. A mother comes through with a little girl in the back seat, I have just handed the mother her order when she pulls the car up a bit so I can directly hand the little girl her ice cream.)

    Me: “And here is your sundae!”

    Mother: “What do you say to the nice lady?”

    Little Girl: “I love you!”

    Me: *embarrassed and confused* “I love you, too.”

    (The mother laughs really hard while the little girl grins at me. My coworkers heard and laughed, too. She was the cutest little girl ever!)

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