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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Classic Banking Withdrawal Symptoms

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (My bank offers free cookies to our customers to thank them for banking with us. Most people are polite and only take one cookie, two at the most for someone else waiting at home. One customer is notorious for going to all her local branches and taking every single cookie by dumping them in a grocery bag. Today, a coworker has just finished waiting on her while I am finishing up with a customer.)

    Me: “Is there anything else we can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yes, what kind of cookies do you have?”

    Me: “We have peanut butter and chocolate chip. They are in a basket by the door on your way out; please help yourself!”

    (My customer heads over. Unfortunately, she’s right behind the other notorious customer with the grocery bag in her hand. He watches as the other customer picks up handful after handful of cookies and shoves them into her grocery bag and leaves, the basket now empty.)

    Me: *to my next customer* “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, sir. We just finished making a fresh batch. Would you like one or two?”

    Next Customer: *laughing* “No, no thank you. I guess it’s a sign that I don’t really need a cookie today!”

    Acting Irregular

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m working at a popular coffee store, and it is my second week on the job. A regular comes in during the morning rush.)

    Me: “Hey, good to see you! What can I get for you?”

    (The customer gives me a very dirty look.)

    Me: “Um… can I get a drink started for you?”

    Customer: “You don’t remember my drink?”

    Me: “…what?”

    Customer: “You don’t remember my drink? I come in here everyday! You should remember my drink!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry that I forgot. Silly me! It’s just that I get an awful lot of customers in here, and I’ve been working since 4 am, so I’m just so forgetful. But if you can just remind me, I’ll have that drink right out for you.”

    (The customer turns bright red, orders his drink, pays, and leaves the register. The next day I’m working again, and he comes in right on schedule.)

    Me: “Ah, hello! The caramel latte with light foam, yes? I’ve written it up, and they’ll make it for you soon. That’ll be [price].”

    (The customer silently pays for his drink, and puts a $5 bill in the tip jar.)

    Fight For Your Right

    | Birmingham, England, UK | Food & Drink, Movies & TV, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m making a movie with a few friends for my college course. We decide to make a bar room brawl scene. We are in my local pub early one morning whilst they’re closed, and have just finished kitting the room out with glasses, stools, and pool cues that will break easy and not hurt. We have just switched the cameras, and are about to start when a man stumbles in, obviously still drunk.)

    Drunk: “I want a beer.”

    Me: “Sorry mate, this bar is closed.”

    Drunk: “Then why they all drinking?!”

    (The drunk indicates to my friends, as I’m behind the bar.)

    Me: “We are making a movie right now. Go home and sober up a bit.”

    Drunk: “No, I want a f****** beer, and you’re gonna serve me!”

    My Friend: *winking* “Just give him a beer mate; he isn’t hurting anyone.”

    Me: *catching on* “Don’t you start. You have had enough as well!”

    My Friend: “Eat wood!”

    (My friend picks up a stool and swings it at my head. Suddenly, we all start our fight scene around the drunk. After a few minutes, when everything is broken, and we’ve all been ‘knocked out,’ I leap over the bar and grab a cricket bat, break it, and aim it at the drunk.)

    Me: “Still want that drink, fella?”

    Drunk: “I don’t want no trouble!” *backs out and staggers out of the bar quickly*

    What Your Country Can Do For You

    | Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Military

    (I’m with my dad, who is an army vet, and three of my friends. My family has no money right now, so my friends are paying.)

    Waiter: “Here’s your bill. The couple over there paid for $50.”

    Paying Friend: “What?”

    Me: “What?”

    Waiter: “They didn’t tell you?”

    My Dad: “No, they didn’t.”

    Waiter: “They saw your vet hat, and said that they’ll pay for $50.”

    Me: “Faith in humanity is über restored!”

    (To that couple who paid for most of our meal, thank you. Your actions did more than you know for not just my family, but my friends as well. You are saints among men.)

    Drink To A Fine Resolution

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work as a bartender at a high end restaurant. I am currently working the bar alone with over 90 guests.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; I’d like to order!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I will be with you in a minute.”

    (The customer is obviously annoyed, but I have to continue. After about 30 seconds, he throws his debit card at me just as I pass him. I stop, pick it up, look at it, and throw it in the garbage bin behind me. I then continue to take orders.)

    Customer: “What the—did you just—”

    (I don’t say anything. I don’t even look at the customer as I finish pouring every one else their drinks. When he is the last one, I pick up the card from the bin and look him straight in the eyes.)

    Me: “Sir, I have three things to tell you. One, that was, by far, the rudest I have EVER been treated by a customer. Second, if I ever catch you doing that, I will talk to my boss and he will sort it out; he hates it when people are rude to his staff. And finally, if you had paid attention to how everyone else ‘paid’ you would know that it is an open bar, and your card does nothing.”

    Customer: *bright red* “I am so so sorry; I truly am. I think that I have had enough to drink tonight. I will take a glass of water.”

    (I smile, give him his water, and he gives me a tip.)

    Customer: “I know that this does not cover how bad I treated you. I am sorry.”

    (The same customer comes back a couple of weeks later, and he is still the best tipper I serve!)

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