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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themselves, Part 5

    | Stamford, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I’m deaf in one ear, and what makes it worse at this time is that I have an ear infection. This makes it extremely difficult to take customer’s drinks correctly, especially if they are saying them very fast. I have only asked this customer once to repeat what the milk and syrup were.)

    Customer: “Why do they have the least experienced person taking orders? How many times do I have to repeat myself?!”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am; I’m hearing impaired. I was only asking once again to make sure I charged you correctly and that your drink won’t be made wrong.”

    Customer: *flustered* “Well, then you should have to wear a sign or something to let people know that you can’t hear.”

    (The next customer in the queue chimes decides to chime in.)

    Next Customer: “Yeah, because the poor girl probably doesn’t feel embarrassed enough about having you yell at her and having to put up with a**holes like you.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?! How dare you! Forget my drink! I’ll just go somewhere else!”

    (The customer storms out.)

    Next Customer: “Wow, I’m so sorry about that. Do people normally act like that here?”

    Me: “She’s a regular…”

    Related:
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 4
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 3
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themself, Part 2
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

    Giving The Homeless A Fair Deal

    | BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a popular sandwich shop on the main strip of our town. Every once in a while, we run certain deals.)

    Me: “Hey there! What can I make for you this evening?”

    Customer: “I want a foot-long ham. That’s part of the deal, right?”

    Me: “No, just [sub #1], [sub #2], and [sub #3].”

    Customer: “Okay. I’ll get a meatball.”

    Me: “That’s not one of the deals.”

    Customer: “It’s fine, whatever.”

    (I should note that our town has quite a few homeless people. Most of them are quite friendly and always come in and buy things. One of the nicer ones is drinking a coffee at the front of the store. I finish making the sandwich and ring the guy in.)

    Me: “So that’ll be [price].”

    Customer: “WHAT!? I don’t want it if it’s not part of the deal! You told me it was part of the deal!”

    Me: “I told you explicitly that it was not part of the deal.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t even want it!”

    (The customer drops the sandwich on the counter, and I turn to the regular homeless man.)

    Me: “Hey [Name], you want a free meatball sub?”

    Homeless Regular: “Heck yeah!”

    (The customer grumbles about wanting free food, and scurries off.)

    Putting Your Son Into A Sweet Disposition

    | USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a little sweet shop. We have a promotion going on where you can get two free sweets if you can spin a wheel and get it to land on the prize. The front door opens and a young boy and his mother walk in.)

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [store name].”

    Mother: “Hi, I was told I could get some free candy here.”

    Me: “That’s right; you can get two free sweets of your choice if you can get a win on the prize wheel!”

    Boy: “I wanna try!”

    (The mother grumbles angrily. The boy walks over to the counter and takes hold of the wheel.)

    Me: “Okay, good luck, you have one chance, okay?”

    Boy: “Got it!”

    (The boy spins, but the spinner doesn’t land on ‘Winner’. The boy shrugs and walks back to his mother.)

    Mother: “Where’s his candy?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Mother: “You said, he’d get free candy.”

    Me: “Yes, if he was able to spin to win. Maybe next time, okay little guy?”

    Boy: “Always next time, Mom.”

    Mother: “Look at him! He’s distraught! You made my son unhappy! Get your manager.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    (The boy is dragged by his ear to the corner of the shop and is whispered to.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, miss?”

    Mother: “She made my son cry! He won the free candy, fair and square!”

    Boy: “No I—”

    (The mother gives him a glare.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry for your troubles; I’ll give you the candy you won.”

    (He gives the boy two pieces of our signature candy, and they leave the store.)

    Manager: “Sorry about that; it’s not worth a fight. Not much lost really.”

    Me: “But I—”

    (I am cut off by the door slowly creaking open. The boy is back, now alone.)

    Boy: “Here’s your candy back; sorry about my Mom. I know I didn’t win.”

    Me: “Thank you so much, but you can—”

    (He leaves before I can finish. I will always remember the little boy’s honesty, even though none of us ever saw him in the shop again.)

    Some Like It Not Hot

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the deli section of my store. Recently we’ve been having a problem with a customer who always shows up between 10 and 11 am, before we have our hot case fully stocked for the day.)

    Coworker #1: “Hey, it’s that guy again.”

    (I look over and see the customer diligently scanning what we have in our hot case.)

    Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “Yeah, do y’all have any barbecue ribs?”

    Me: “They’re in the oven right now. It’ll be about 40 minutes before they’re ready.”

    Customer: “Thank you.”

    (He walks away without another word. Five minutes later, he returns with one of the managers.)

    Manager: “Hey, you don’t have any barbecue ribs?”

    Me: “Uh, not yet. It’ll be about 35 minutes.”

    Manager: “Why not?!”

    Me: “The ribs just weren’t in our first load in the oven.”

    (The manager looks at me like I am a diseased rat and immediately starts apologizing to the bad customer.)

    Manager: *to the customer* “I’m terribly sorry about the inconvenience, sir. There will be no charge for your meal.”

    (The manager turns back to me with an evil eye.)

    Manager: *to me* “Give him whatever he wants. Don’t print a price tag.”

    (I end up having to give the customer a $6.99 full meal at no charge. The manager stands there and watches to make sure I don’t charge the customer anything. Three days later, the same customer shows up again, at the same time of day.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do y’all have any buffalo wings?”

    Coworker #2: “We’ve got some wings in the fryer right now. They’ll be ready in about 10 minutes, and we could make buffalo then.”

    Customer: “Thanks.”

    (Once again, he walks away and comes back with the same manager from before.)

    Manager: “Do one of you want to tell me why you don’t have any buffalo wings?!”

    Coworker #2: “We just haven’t got around to making that kind yet. We do have seven other kinds already made.”

    Manager: “But no buffalo.”

    Coworker #2: “Er… no.”

    Manager: *muttering* “F****** useless…” *out loud* “Don’t charge this customer for whatever he asks for. Get him his order. NOW.”

    (Once again, the man walks away with a free meal which would normally cost $6.99. Four days later, he comes back.)

    Me: “Isn’t that the guy who keeps asking for things we don’t have and going to complain?”

    Coworker #1: “Yeah, that’s him. I wonder what he wants this time?”

    Coworker #3: “Yes, sir?”

    Customer: “You got some fried catfish?”

    Coworker #3: “Sorry, we don’t have any today.”

    Customer: “Thanks.”

    (Predictably, he comes back with the same manager in tow yet again.)

    Manager: “You don’t have any fish?! Why am I always hearing these complaints?! Why can’t you get this d*** case filled up on time?!”

    Coworker #3: “Uh… [Store Manager] said we had to have it filled by 11.”

    Manager: “It’s 10:15. That’s almost 11! No charge for this—”

    (The manager is interrupted by the store manager clapping him on the shoulder.)

    Store Manager: “Excuse me, [Manager], but do you want to explain why I keep seeing you’ve signed off on no-charge purchases on the deli production sheets?”

    Manager: “Uh… well… they never have what the customers want!”

    Store Manager: “They never have what this customer conveniently wants.”

    (The store manager then turns to the customer, and points at him.)

    Store Manager: *to the customer* “Get out.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Store Manager: “Get out of my store. You are banned from shopping here.”

    Customer: “Ain’t my fault these b****es don’t got what I want!”

    Store Manager: “Yes it is. I’ve seen you on our security cameras, always looking for things they don’t have in the case. You always find an excuse to complain and ask for free food. Well, you’re not getting any more free food. Get out.”

    (The customer gives the store manager a nasty look, but leaves without saying anything. The store manager then turns to the other manager.)

    Store Manager: “And I want to see you in my office.”

    (The other manager got suspended for a week without pay!)

    Outside Food, Inside Job

    | Manville, NJ, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s a busy night and, like almost every movie theater, we have a policy of no outside food or drinks. I’m ushering/taking tickets when a customer comes up to me with a large drink from another store. On busy nights the managers are always walking about and keeping a sharp eye on the lobby.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; you can’t bring that in. You have to finish it in the lobby or throw it out.”

    Customer: “But it’s tea. I’m sick.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I still can’t let you in with it.”

    Customer: “Says who?”

    (I point to the sign in front of me.)

    Me: “It’s our policy.”

    Customer: “Well, I talked to the manager, and he said it was okay that I can bring it in.”

    (My manager, who is right behind me, suddenly turns around.)

    Manager: “Hi, I’m the manager. It’s nice to meet you.”

    (The customer looks shocked, goes silent, throws the tea out, and ignores me when I let her in.)

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