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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Not Quite The (Ice) Cream Of The Crop

    | UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work in a very popular chocolate shop that also sells ice cream in the summer. It is a particularly busy, hot Saturday. I am serving ice cream. There was a huge line of customers. Suddenly, a customer strolls into the store, leaving her bicycle outside. Eventually, it is her turn.)

    Customer: “Finally. I’ll have a hazelnut.”

    Me: “Sure, a double or a single?”

    Customer: “Double.”

    Me: “Would you like it in a cone or a tub?”

    Customer: “A bag.”

    Me: “…Pardon?”

    Customer: “A bag.”

    (I look at her for a moment)

    Me: “I’m sorry, Miss, but the ice cream only comes in a cone or a tub.”

    Customer: “Well, I need it in a bag. Do you have a bag?”

    (We put chocolate in small transparent bags, but they would definitely not fit an ice cream tub, also there are no lids on the tubs to cover the ice cream.)

    Me: “It won’t fit in one of our bags, miss.”

    Customer: “Yes, it will. Get one.”

    (I protest again, but fetch her bag anyway. I present it to her and show her the size, to prove it won’t fit.)

    Me: “See, Miss? It’s too small. The tub won’t fit in there.”

    Customer: “Oh, honestly, how do you even have a job? Do you even have a brain?”

    (I’m hurt by this comment, and am getting quite angry.)

    Me: “Look, it won’t fit; I don’t know what you’d like me to do.”

    Customer: “Let me do it, girl.”

    (She proceeds to take the full-to-the-brim ice cream tub and squeeze it into the bag sideways, smearing her ice cream all down the sides. I stare at her in disbelief. Ice cream is dripping everywhere.)

    Customer: “Was that so hard?”

    Me: *still staring* “Would… you like a spoon?”

    (She held out the open bag and I dropped in a small plastic spoon with the already nearly melted ice cream. She paid and left. I watched her outside the window as she put her bag of squished ice cream into the child-seat of her bicycle, STRAPPED UP THE SEAT BELT, and cycled away down the road. I stared in disbelief for the rest of the day.)

    Not Big On Tips And Bigots

    | VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (It’s my third night of waiting tables at a restaurant. The weather is really nice so we open up the patio area for seating. I seat two couples, one significantly older than the other. The women both place their purses in the middle of the aisle so that they virtually trip every server coming through the patio.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m so sorry but could you move your purses? We need to get through this area safely and I would hate to spill or drop anything on you!”

    (They both glare daggers but move their purses without a single word to me. Later on, I seat a couple next to the first table, a white woman and a black man. All goes well until I’m dropping off drinks for them and I hear this from the next table.)

    Younger Woman: “I can’t believe a girl that pretty would be with someone like HIM. Ew.”

    Older Woman: “I know. Your father and I would’ve died if you brought home that type of man.

    (They all laugh derisively. I HOPE I’m thinking the wrong thing. But when I return they are shooting dirty looks at the interracial couple, who have been nothing but model customers.)

    Me: *to the interracial couple* “Is everything all right here?”

    (I notice the lady is looking VERY upset.)

    Man: “They were looking at us funny the entire time. When I went to the car to get something I forgot, they said something about how I must’ve stolen it.”

    (I look at where he’s pointing and it’s a shiny black BMW.)

    Me: “Oh… hmm. I’ll be right back.”

    (I pop inside to explain what’s happened to my manager, and ask whether I can comp the interracial couple a free dessert taken out of my tips. My manager agrees readily.)

    Me: “Here’s a dessert on me, guys.”

    (The entire table next to me turns and GLARES. I smile sweetly and walk back inside. Of course I earned no tip from the racist table, but the humongous tip I got from the interracial couple more than made up for it.)

    Wasting Quality Time On Quality Food

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My sister and I are in line at a popular fry and poutine joint. We are at the front of the line, but haven’t quite decided what we want yet. There is a customer behind us, so we tell her to go ahead if she knows what she wants. The following exchange ensues.)

    Cashier: “Hello. What can I get for you tonight?”

    Customer: “What is on your bacon poutine?”

    Cashier: “Um, bacon, cheese curd, and gravy.”

    Customer: “What about the pulled pork poutine?”

    Cashier: *motions to the board behind him where every menu item is listed with

    ingredients* “Pulled pork. Cheese curd. Gravy.”

    Customer: “And the Phillie cheesesteak poutine?”

    (She continued to go through all 20 menu items. Eventually the cashier just turned around and read off the board as blatantly as he could. Entire transaction time: 17 minutes.)

    Sharing A Story About Not Sharing

    | CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (A coworker is offering macaroons at work. He had never had them before but had bought a whole lot of them, and we get to hear the story of why he had bought them.)

    Coworker: “There’s a cake shop near my house. I go there all the time, and there’s a regular customer I see there who is really mean. That day she said she was going to buy some macaroons and not share any with her grandkids. I was ahead of her in line, so when it was my turn, I said ‘I’d like to buy all your macaroons!.'”

    No Meat In Their Brain, Part 2

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work in a hotel lounge where only exclusive hotel members have access. In the evening we serve appetizers. A man who is a vegetarian is staying and asks for vegetarian food everyday. The day I did have it, he didn’t take any so I saved him a bit for the next night.)

    Guest: “Do you have any vegetarian food tonight?”

    Me: “No, but I saved some pasta from last night for you.”

    Guest: “Beef?”

    Me: “No, no beef. It’s the one I told you about last night.”

    Guest: “The one with beef?”

    Me: “It doesn’t have beef. It’s the vegetarian pasta from last night.”

    Guest: “Oh yeah! From last night! It has… a little… little bit of beef?”

    Me: “No beef. It’s vegetarian.”

    Guest: “Not vegetarian?”

    Me: “It IS vegetarian.”

    Guest: “So, no meat?”

    Me: “…no meat, sir.”

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