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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Doesn’t Quite Cut The Cheese

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Welcome to [Store]. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I need a dessert for my two diabetic friends. Let me see your cheesecakes.”

    Me: “…”

    Can’t Take The Weight Of Her Daughter’s Behavior

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am at the cash register ringing up people when I notice a mother and her daughter walk in the store. The little girl goes one way, towards the frozen yogurt, and the mother goes the other. The girl gets the biggest cup we offer and fills it all the way to the top with frozen yogurt and puts the dome lid on, then proceeds to fill it up the rest of the way with toppings. Like all frozen yogurt establishments, the price is dependent on the weight of the items. The mother and daughter walk up to the register at the same time.)

    Me: *as I start ringing up the mother’s items* “Can I get you ladies anything else?”

    Mother: “No, that’s it.”

    Me: *talking to the daughter now* “Okay, sweetie, can you please put your yogurt on the scale so I can figure up the price?”

    (Daughter complies and puts her yogurt on the scale. I quickly noticed this transaction was going awry when the mother noticed the price on the scale said $9.09.)

    Mother: “That price can’t be right!” *now talking to her daughter* “Pick that up! Now set it back down! Pick it up! Set it back down!”

    (20 seconds of this later:)

    Me: “Ma’am, the price isn’t going to change because it’s dependent upon the weight.”

    Mother: “No! You’re wrong! We came in here last week and got the SAME EXACT AMOUNT of frozen yogurt and it was only $3! How do you even know how much it is per ounce?! There’s no signs!”

    Me: “Well, if you would look back at the frozen yogurt section, you would see that there are two electronic signs stating that the frozen yogurt is [price].”

    (She looks back at the signs and whips her head back around to me.)

    Mother: “Those signs aren’t at eye-level! How is anyone supposed to see those! They don’t walk in the store looking up at the wall when the yogurt is at eye level!”

    Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. If you got the same exact amount of yogurt and toppings as last time, which would be almost impossible by the way, the yogurt total today would come out to $3. My guess is that last time you were in here, she was supervised when getting the frozen yogurt.”

    (She pauses, stunned for a second that someone dare talk to her or about her darling angel this way.)

    Mother: “Well I’m not paying for this s***! This is unbelievable! I want to speak with your manager!”

    Me: “I’m the manager on duty. ”

    Mother: “Come on, [Daughter]! We’re going to get you ice cream at [Fast Food Place]!”

    Daughter: “NO! I WANT THIS ICE CREAM!”

    Mother: “Okay, honey, I’ll get it for you this time, but next time mommy isn’t going to spend so much money on ice cream.” *she then turns to me* “We WILL NOT be coming back here… EVER!”

    (I physically restrained myself from throat-punching the woman by holding onto the sides of the register.)

    Not Quite The Cream Of The Crop

    | Hillsboro, OR, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I’m in line when I hear the drive-thru employees talking about a customer in the drive-thru. She wanted iced coffee, but she wanted it to not be brown.)

    Employee #1: “So she doesn’t want coffee?”

    Employee #2: “No, she wants coffee, just doesn’t want it to be brown.”

    Employee #1: “So more cream?”

    Employee #2: “No… she wants light cream, just… doesn’t want it to be brown.”

    Like Popeye To Spinach

    | NY, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (It’s nearly closing and there are not many people as we’re in the suburbs, not the city. I watch a woman in her 20s stumbling in, looking really tired or drunk and all out of breath. She stumbles towards to the cashier.)

    Woman: “Seaweed… seaweed… dried seaweed snacks.”

    Cashier: “Second aisle near the middle.”

    Woman: “Thanks.”

    (The woman stumbled over, crashing into the first aisle before disappearing from view. A moment later the woman appeared holding several packages of dried seaweed snacks. One package nearly got dropped on the ground before she threw them on the checkout counter along with a bill. She then flopped on the ground opening one of the packages, and shoved as much seaweed as she could into her mouth. The cashier was now done ringing her up and tried handing her change, which she ignored for a while. As there was no one else paying the cashier just sat patiently. A few minutes later, the woman had eaten one entire package. She stood up, full of energy now, took the rest of her seaweed and change and left, walking out really fast. I still don’t know what I witnessed back there.)

    Giving You A Tip Right Back

    | Novi, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink

    (It is shortly after nine on a Monday night. I have not had a single table since seven so the cook, who is the owner’s son and my age, and I decide to close up shop early. On a regular Monday we close at ten so we are only closing 45 minutes early. Then all of a sudden the phone rings while I am closing up the cash register. Seeing as we are the only two in the restaurant I answer on speaker phone so I can still use my hands to count the drawer.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *irate* “Yeah why the f*** are your doors closed?”

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry, sir. The owners have chosen to close a bit early tonight. So sorry for the inconvenience.”

    Customer: *growing more irate by the word* “Well, you know WHAT?! I can’t believe this s***! I am a regular customer who spends a good amount of money here and am here multiple times a week.”

    Me: “Again, I apologize, sir. I would love to have something made for you, but all the grills are shut off and it would take quite a while for them to heat back up. I don’t make the rules; I abide by them.”

    Customer: “Yeah? Well some of us don’t have a f****** wife or girlfriend at home to cook dinner for us and we work late! I was just in there the other day and I left the waitress a very good tip, and I didn’t have to do that!”

    (Mind you I was the SERVER he referenced, and indeed he is a regular customer. Where he went wrong was the comment about the great tip he left, and the onslaught of curse words.)

    Me: *firmly but politely* “Well, sir, again I am very sorry for the inconvenience regarding this evening. But may I add that I was the server that you tipped the other night and while yes, I appreciate your tip, 10 percent is hardly a ‘very good tip.’ Oh, and another thing, with a piss-poor mouth like that no wonder you can’t find a lady to want to stay home and cook for you when you get home. Now I have to go. You’ve wasted a sufficient amount of my time.” *click*

    (He came in later that week and apologized to me.)