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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Your Last (Corn) Meal

    , | NJ, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

    (A regular bar patron who would drink Irish coffee and run his yap is talking about French fries, when he spots me, the chef.)

    Customer: “Do you put corn meal on your French fries?”

    Me: “Uh… no.”

    Customer: “F*** you!”

    (He later died, and his repass was held in our banquet room. That day, we put corn meal on our French fries.)

    Turns Out Not To Be Sweet Nothings

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I am working the register, and it has been a bit slow. A man approaches with two shirts. I ask him all the usual questions, like if he found everything and if he’d like to sign up for our rewards card, and we get to the total.)

    Me: “Okay, your total is $27.94.”

    Customer: *looking at the candies by the counter* “Hmm, chocolate covered blueberries?”

    Me: “Yeah, I’ve had something like those before. They were weird, but pretty cool. Are you going to get those? If you are, I’ll need to add them to the total.”

    Customer: “Okay, sure. And I’ll share them with you guys!”

    (I look at my coworker who is standing behind me, trying to figure out if he’s serious or not. I can’t tell, so I just laugh awkwardly and add them to his purchase.)

    Me: “Okay, your total now is $35.05.”

    (The man swipes his credit card, and I give him his receipt. Then, he rips open the bag and offers some to me.)

    Me: “Wait, you were serious?”

    Customer: “Yeah! Hold out your hand and say when.”

    (He gave a couple to my coworker and me, then left. They were very good, and the gesture made my night!)

    Drive-Thru Has Its Hang-Ups

    | VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

    (I’m a customer in line at the drive thru. I’ve just ordered and this happens with the customer behind me:)

    Employee: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

    (A few moments pass, and the employee repeats the greeting.)

    Employee: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. May I take your order?”

    Customer: “Hang on! Jesus, can’t you see I’m on the phone!?”

    A Continuous Sauce Of Stress, Part 2

    | NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a restaurant where we make the majority of our food in-house, down to dressings and sauces. The menu says in at least two places that extra sauces are available for 50 cents. Three women sit at my table.)

    Woman #1: “I want to try a couple of these sauces.” *indicating our buffalo style sauces*

    Me: “Well, ma’am, we generally don’t do that. I may have to charge you 50 cents”

    Woman #1: “We’ve done it before. And I need some celery to dip in the sauces.”

    (Rather than putting up a fight I bring her two sauces and a couple of sticks of celery. Woman #1 gets 10 wings in one of the sauces she tried. When the wings come out…)

    Woman #1: “I need some extra sauce for my wings.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, that’s 50 cents extra. Is that okay?”

    Woman #1: “It’s not extra cause I don’t have enough sauce on my wings.”

    Me: “I’m sorry that you don’t feel the kitchen didn’t give you enough, but I’ll have to charge you 50 cents to get you more.”

    Woman #2: “That’s bad customer service! The customer is always right!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I apologize but I’m just doing my job the way I was taught to do it, and the menu says that extra sauces cost extra.”

    Woman #1: “Bring me the manager!”

    (My manager visits the table, offers to re-toss her wings in the kitchen but she just insists on having extra sauce brought to her without wanting to pay. My manager brings her half of a ramekin of sauce as a compromise but tells me that anything else they order will be extra. The women are grumpy for the rest of their meal and request a to go box toward the end.)

    Woman #2: *holding her ramekin of blue cheese dressing* “I need another container.”

    Me: “An empty container?”

    Woman #2: “No, with extra blue cheese.”

    Me: “That’ll be 50 cents. Is that okay?”

    Woman #2: “No! Its not like I want extra because I ate it all. I just want extra to go!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; ma’am, but extra dressings are 50 cents…”

    (She turned it down and their checks did not include any extra dressing charges. The women berated me more anyway, asked me if I was new, and asked where the ‘other girl’ they had before was. The girl they described to me had actually been recently fired. One lady asked for change for a dollar, which I gave her, and left two quarters on the table with a note that said ‘Customer service goes toward your tip. Here’s your 50 cents.’ Sorry, giving out free stuff isn’t part of my job, lady!)

    Related:
    A Continuous Sauce Of Stress

    The Lie-To-Yourself Diet

    | MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. Can I interest you in two large pizzas with up to five toppings and a pop for only $22.99?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t need that much. I’m on a diet.”

    Me: “Okay. What can I get you tonight?”

    Customer: “Can I get a large veggie pizza, but hold the mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, and onions, and add sausage, beef, bacon, Canadian bacon and pepperoni.”

    Me: “Okay, that would just be a meats pizza with tomatoes.”

    Customer: “No, I’m on a diet. I need a veggie pizza because of my diet. but hold the mushrooms, black olives, green peppers, and onions, and add sausage, beef, bacon, Canadian bacon and pepperoni.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. Your total will be $11 and we will have it ready in 15 minutes.”

    (I rang up the order the way she wanted it but told my coworkers that it was just a meats pizza with tomatoes.)

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