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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    If Only You Could Listen To Yourself

    | ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

    (I work on the drive-thru. It is in the winter and after we close. I pull my car up near the drive-thru window so I can run a cord out to the block heater while we close up. Most of the store lights are off, including the drive-thru menu and ‘open’ sign. Any cars that pull up after close hear an automated message: ‘thanks for your visit, but we are currently closed.’ As I’m cleaning, I can overhear the message on a headset that’s still on, but I ignore it; we usually get lots of customers showing up after close. About 20 minutes after, as we’re nearly finished, we suddenly hear banging and shouting at the window. The manager goes to the window and tries to tell her we’re closed, but she won’t have it, so he opens the window.)

    Lady: “What the f*** is going on here?! I’ve been in line 20 minutes and there’s not even anyone in this car!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, we’ve been closed for over 30 minutes now.”

    Lady: “So why is the car just sitting here?!”

    Manager: “That’s an employee’s car; we’re warming it up so it’ll be warm when we go.”

    Lady: “That’s fine, but what about my order? The car is in the way you know! Your dumb-a** employee shouldn’t park in the drive-thru.”

    Manager: “Well, I told you. We’re closed now.”

    Lady: “Well, I ordered 20 minutes ago. What happened to that?”

    (We all took off our headsets as soon as we closed, but my manager asked us if we took an order anyway.)

    Manager: “No one here talked to you, ma’am.”

    (The lady looks at me and the other guy standing behind the manager.)

    Lady: “Well, some lady took my order. She shouldn’t have done that if you’re closed”

    (At this point, we all figure out what has happened.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, the only lady that worked tonight left four hours ago. Did you actually listen to what they said to you?”

    Lady: “Yes. Well, no, not really. She answered and I placed my order. I was on the phone at the time.”

    Manager: “Well, sorry, but that was an automated message informing you that we we’re closed.”

    Lady: “…well, it should be more clear when you’re not open!”

    (She walked away before we could point out the three different signs she would have passed that have our hours listed.)

    The Rules Are Carved In Stone

    | KY, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

    (I ring up a lady who got only a carving pumpkin, which are quite large, and she slides her card through the machine. Note: I’m 16 and relatively new to my job.)

    Me: “That’s weird; it didn’t charge your card.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “It charged $0.00 to your card. Could you slide it again for me?”

    Customer: “No, it’ll charge me twice.”

    Me: “Well, it charged $0.00 the first time, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

    Customer: “Fine.”

    (She slides her card again. This time I realize she’s using food stamps.)

    Me: “Oh, ma’am, it’s not food stamp eligible.”

    Customer: “Yes, it is.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s not.”

    Customer: “Pumpkins are technically food, so yes, it is.”

    Me: “The computer doesn’t think it is.”

    Customer: “Look, kid, have they not taught you in school yet that you can pay for food with food stamps?”

    Me: “Ma’am, these are ‘carving’ pumpkins.”

    Customer: “Okay, now you’re p***ing me off. Pumpkins are food. Now, ring it up right or I’m going to talk to your manager.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I understand that pumpkins are food, but we sell these pumpkins specifically for carving, not for eating.”

    Customer: “Pumpkins. Are. Food.”

    Me: “Do you intend to eat it?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Are you going to eat this pumpkin, ma’am?”

    Customer: “…no, but that shouldn’t matter.”

    Me: “Ma’am, food stamps are for people who can’t afford to buy food themselves. If you can afford to use them to buy decorations, then maybe you shouldn’t be using them.”

    Customer: *she glares at me for a second, then hands me a five dollar bill* “Unbelievable.”

    (She then stormed out.)

    Have A Heart (Failure)

    | Staines, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am a customer in a supermarket. Unfortunately I am standing by the dairy aisle watching a paramedics team trying to save a man on the floor who’s probably had a heart attack. Both ends of the aisle are crudely boxed off and a member of staff is standing there preventing anyone entering the aisle. At the far end of the aisle there’s a middle-aged woman arguing with the staff member to be quickly let in to just get a tub of spread. She is quietly being told no. The woman must have run down the next aisle because she suddenly appears next to me and starts arguing again with another staff member.)

    Customer: “Can you just reach over and pass me a tub of that [Spread]?”

    Staff Member: “Ma’am, please, have a bit of sensitivity…”

    Customer: “Oh, right! As if he cares one way or another!”

    (The rest of us customers stared at each other in disbelief!)

    Drive Straight Thru His Lie

    | Metairie, LA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a restaurant that is always closed on Sundays. Like, it has been every single week since the 1940s when it opened. One Sunday afternoon our restaurant owner is in the parking lot doing some work on our flower beds and someone drives up to the drive-thru speaker:)

    Customer: “Hello? HELLOOOOOOO! ANSWER ME! Son of a b****! This is OUTRAGEOUS!”

    (The restaurant owner calmly walks over to the customer in the car, and says:)

    Owner: “Hello, sir, is everything all right?”

    Customer: “NO! I JUST came through the drive-thru and paid over $30 for my meals, and I got ALL THE WAY HOME and realized that they left out my number one meal! I DEMAND that you give me my meal for free AND refund my whole order because my family is waiting on me at home and ALL OF OUR FOOD IS GOING TO BE COLD! I will not pay for this!”

    (The store owner, who loves to catch people in a lie, just kept asking more questions.)

    Owner: “So you’re telling me you were JUST here?”

    Customer: “Yes! And I got all the way home and YOU left my meal out of the bag!”

    Owner: “I see. Do you have your receipt? Or your bag with your food? I’d be happy to replace all of your meals for you if you have the receipt.”

    Customer: “NO! I left them at home with my other food! Can you get them to hurry up? I need to get back home because my family is waiting on me!”

    Owner: “So you’re sure you were JUST here? At THIS restaurant?”

    Customer: “YES! God, what is wrong with you people?! I was here like 15 minutes ago, in THIS drive-thru!”

    Owner: “Well, sir, I just wanted to let you know I know for a fact that you weren’t here 15 minutes ago getting food.”

    Customer: “…what?”

    Owner: “See, I’m the owner of this restaurant, and we’ve been closed every single Sunday since we opened. There is no one inside right now, and there hasn’t been anyone inside all day. So there’s no way you got your food here 15 minutes ago, I have your vehicle on our parking lot surveillance, and I want to kindly ask you never to come back to my establishment again!”

    (The guy then sped out of the parking lot!)

    Been Called All The Names In The Hundred-Acre Wood

    | Jackson, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I have have been called just about every name in the book. I am refusing to sell beer to a customer who is too drunk.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you’re just too intoxicated and I can’t let you have it.”

    Drunk: “I’m not driving so what the f*** is your problem, fat-a**!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; can’t do it.”

    Drunk: “Come on, man. I won’t tell.”

    Me: *being very nice as it does really bug them when I don’t get mad* “Sorry, guy, still can’t sell.”

    Drunk: *getting REALLY UPSET* “You know what you are? You’re a Pooh butt! You’re a Winnie the Pooh butt!”

    (I’ve heard everything but not that, so I started laughing really hard which got him more and more upset. I told him that was the funniest thing I had ever been called and he got REALLY mad and just walked out.)

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