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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Didn’t Eat From The Tree Of Knowledge

    | OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I’ve clocked out for the day and I’m picking up a few groceries before I leave. Even though I’m wearing a coat and nothing that would identify me as an employee, and pushing a half-filled shopping cart, a customer still stops me as I pass the produce section.)

    Customer: “Hey, I know you work here. You need to help me!”

    Me: “No, I’m shopp—”

    Customer: “—It’s your apples! Are these the kind grown on trees, or were they made some other way?”

    Me: “Trees…”

    No Eggo For The Vego

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am serving on the registers over breakfast, when a female customer approaches.)

    Customer: “I’m vego.”

    Me: *realising she means she’s a vegetarian* “Umm… okay?”

    Customer: “So I’ll have a bacon and egg muffin with no egg.”

    Me: “A bacon and egg muffin without egg?”

    Customer: “Yep, I’m vego.”

    Me: “So you want the bacon on the muffin”?

    Customer: “Yep, but no egg. I’m vego.”

    Me: “…”

    Buying A Drive At The Drive-Thru

    , | Olathe, KS, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (It is my first night working the drive-thru by myself on the side we lovingly call ‘The Hole,’ due to how removed it is from the rest of the store, as well as the fact that it is freaking cold in winter.)

    Me: *chipper* “Hello and welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I take your order?”

    Customer: *rambles off order* “Oh, and, uh, could I get the green ’96 Plymouth Breeze?”

    Me: *confused* “…I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”

    Customer: *serious tone* “There’s a green ‘96 Plymouth Breeze out here and I was hoping I could pay for it here.”

    Me: *still slightly confused* “I don’t know anything about that, sir. Can I still get you your food?”

    Customer: *sighs* “Yeah, I guess.”

    Sick Of Their Complaints

    | Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I work in a Chinese restaurant in a small town, and a couple come in whilst we have a few people eating in. I have seen them in here a few times, and they are known around the town for being alcoholics. The woman is constantly complaining and trying to take things (such as magazines in the waiting area). On this particular night they are complaining about their food last night.)

    Husband: “We want a full refund. Your food last night made us sick. I went to the toilet three times and vomited straight after eating it.”

    Me: “Sir, if it was food poisoning you wouldn’t have felt it until later, not right away.”

    Husband: “It was food poisoning and I know it. I know what it was. We come here all the time and we never complain, but I’m sick of it now. We’re going to tell the whole town about this and we’re never coming back.”

    Me: “With all due respect sir, your wife complains almost every time you get food from here.”

    Husband: “Yeah, but she’s a b****. I’m the one complaining now!”

    Genetically Modified Turkey

    | MI, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Geeks Rule

    Customer: “Hi, yes, could I please have a pound of mystique turkey please?”

    Me: *not quite catching what they said* “I’m sorry, did you say mesquite turkey?”

    Customer: “Yes, mystique turkey!”

    Me: “Actually, it’s mesquite smoked turkey, Mystique is a character in X-Men.”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah, just get me some mystique turkey, please.”

    Me: “Mystique turkey coming right up! And I’ll change it blue for you, too!”

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