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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 2

    , | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Religion

    (I decide to visit my old work on the off-hours for a quick bite to eat. I am served by a new cashier.)

    Cashier: “Okay. That will be $11.89. Press the confirm button to make sure your order is correct.”

    (I go to press confirm when this occurs at the same time.)

    Cashier: “Do yo—”

    Me: “Do you want any sauce with that?”

    Cashier: “Uh…”

    Me: “Did I just ask you if you wanted sauce?”

    Cashier: “Yup. You sound like you’d be fit for this place.”

    Me: “I worked the day shift.”

    Cashier: “Uh, well. Okay.”

    Me: “I need to get out of the food service industry.”

    Cashier: “Hey, at least you didn’t scream ‘THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!’”

    (A few minutes pass. Another customer goes to order. She proceeds to yell at the cashier seconds after she finished placing her order. Having several years of bad customers under my belt I was pretty sure I could handle this one, even though I didn’t work there anymore.)

    Me: “Pardon me, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “THIS CASHIER OF YOURS SCREWED UP MY ORDER! I WANT MY FOOD FOR FREE, AS IT’S THE CHRISTIAN THING TO DO!”

    (I see that this customer has ordered the food via a self-service order screen. The employee just reads the screen and then hands out the order.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I find it hard to believe that this cashier managed to screw up an order that is entirely dependent on the customer’s order screen.”

    Customer: “Don’t you dare talk back to me! It isn’t the Christian thing to do! God will ha—”

    Me: “Pardon me for a second, but I don’t understand you. While I might not be Christian, you claim talking back to you is not Christian. I’m not sure at what point you manage to assume a role higher than God to be able to dictate what is and isn’t ‘Christian.’ In fact just by doing that you are breaking two of the seven deadly sins! I’m sure that isn’t the CHRISTIAN thing to do.”

    Customer: “You’ll burn in Hell for this! I’ll make sure of it!”

    Me: “But isn’t that conspiring with the D—”

    Customer: “F*** YOU!”

    (The customer proceeds to run out of the building.)

    Cashier: “Wow…”

    Me: “The sad part is, she is a regular here and has been pulling that for months. Well, you had your weird customer, and your first ‘Not Always Right.’ I guess its time for your first tip.”

    Cashier: “This has been a long night…”

    (The cashier and I have been best friends ever since. That was her first day working there. Thankfully, she never saw the lady again.)

    Related:
    What Would Jesus Discount?

    Check And Mate

    | Huntsville, AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah. I ordered my pizza, like, an hour ago. It’s still not here.”

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am. May I have your phone number so I can check your order?”

    Customer: “Yeah. It’s [number]. Look, I’m really upset about this. My family is hungry. I expect you to send my order out immediately. I expect not to have to pay for it since it’s been over an hour.”

    (At this point, my driver has walked in. It is a slow night. He is the only driver I have working. I put the customer on hold.)

    Me: “Hey, man. Are you getting back from that run out to [customer's street]?”

    Driver: “Yeah, why?”

    Me: “They’re on hold right now. They’re saying you never delivered their pizza.”

    Driver: *rolls his eyes and reaches into his pocket* “Here’s the check they paid me with.”

    (I get back on the phone with the customer. I verify her name, address, and phone number before confronting her.)

    Me: “Ma’am. My driver just returned and handed me a check. It has your information on it and is written for the amount of your order. I also note that you didn’t even tip my driver.”

    Customer: *long silence* “YOUR DRIVER IS LYING! I DON’T KNOW HOW HE GOT MY CHECK, BUT HE NEVER DELIVERED MY FOOD. I WANT IT NOW!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. I’m afraid I can’t do that. Here’s the number to our corporate office if you’d like to call them about this.”

    (As the customer hangs up, I hear her shouting to someone on her end of the line.)

    Customer: “WHO’S THE IDIOT WHO PAID FOR THE PIZZA WITH A CHECK?!”

    Starting A New Year Revolution

    , | OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is New Year’s Day. The restaurant that I work in closes its dining room at 10 pm because of this. The manager has informed me that she’ll close it sooner if no one arrives. At 8:30 pm, a customer comes into the store, orders, then takes a seat. I go to clean a nearby table, since it is quiet.)

    Customer: “Ma’am, what time do you close?”

    Me: “We’re closing at 10 tonight. Maybe a bit sooner if it’s quiet enough.”

    (The customer gets a shocked look on her face. She starts packing up.)

    Me: “Ma’am, what’s wrong?”

    Customer: “I don’t want to hold you up! You have to go celebrate the New Year with your family!”

    (I convince her to relax and stay, since it is over an hour until we would close. However, since then, the customer comes at nights through the drive-thru, not wanting to hold up the dining room!)

    A Minor Mistake, Part 2

    | Northland, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m the night supervisor at a supermarket. I’m in my 20s but look younger than I am.)

    Customer: “I have wine here. You’ll need to call your supervisor.”

    Me: “That’s okay, ma’am. I am the supervisor on duty tonight.”

    Customer: “Really? Surely you have to be old enough to drink it before you can sell it.”

    Me: “Well, yes. But I am old enough to drink and have been for a few years now.”

    Customer: “No, you haven’t. You look like a child.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you. I’m in my 20s. But I’ll take that as a compliment.”

    (The customer begins to rant about child labour laws.)

    Me: “Thank you. Have a nice night.”

    Customer: “GO TO BED!”

    Related:
    A Minor Mistake

    The Race Card Is Double Sided

    | Mobile, AL, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (My husband and I are new to the area. We are trying out a popular fried chicken restaurant that is on a side of town primarily occupied by black people. I am white, and my husband is Mexican.)

    Me: “This chicken is great!”

    Husband: “Yeah, but it’d be better with some hot sauce! I’ll go get some!”

    (I slide out of the booth we are in to let him out. As I step back I accidentally bump another patron who is walking back up front to refill his drink. He drops his cup.)

    Me: “Oops! I’m sorry!”

    Customer: *glaring at me* “What’s wrong with you? You in the wrong side of town. You think you can hit me just cuz I’m black?! Racist b****!”

    (My husband is about to intervene, but I speak up.)

    Me: “You think you can say that just because I’m white?”

    Customer: *long pause* “…say what?”

    Me: “You think you can claim I’m racist just because I’m white?”

    Customer: “I… you… what?”

    Me: “Seeing as how my husband is Mexican, I don’t think you can cry racism on this one, man. Nice try.”

    (I pick up his cup and get a whiff of what he was drinking.)

    Me: “What were you drinking? Sprite?”

    Customer: “…yeah.”

    (I go refill his drink for him and hand it back to him with a smile on my face.)

    Me: “There ya go.”

    Customer: “You pretty nice, for a cracker.”

    Me: “You’re pretty nice, for someone so ignorant. Racism works both ways, man. Don’t let it—”

    Customer: “—yeah. Okay. Sorry.”

    (Thankfully, my husband and I finish our meals without any more interruptions.)

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