Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,232 thumbs up)
  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    They Read A Pizza My Mind

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    Me: *taking an order over the phone* “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello. I would like to order two large pizzas, and I want the first one with sausage.”

    Me: “Okay, and what would you like for the second one?”

    Caller: “I don’t know. Surprise me.”

    (I am almost about to do just that. All of a sudden I hear a second person on the other line.)

    Second Person: “DON’T SAY THAT! HE PROBABLY WILL SURPRISE YOU!”

    Caller: “Okay. Sorry. Make that second one pepperoni.”

    Me: “What’s the matter? Don’t you like anchovies?”

    This Argument Is Short And Sweet

    | Lee's Summit, MO, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I work in a Mexican restaurant. I’m getting the drink order.)

    Customer: “I’ll have a sweet tea.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We only have unsweetened tea, but we have different sweeteners available at the table here.”

    Customer: “Not having sweet tea is un-American!”

    Me: “Sir, this is a Mexican restaurant.”

    Customer: “…touché.”

    Enough To Split Your Sides

    | WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A waitress is taking my father-in-law’s order, which comes with a choice of side dish.)

    Waitress: “And what would you like, sir?”

    Father-In-Law: “Filet mignon, please.”

    Waitress: “And how would you like that cooked?”

    Father-In-Law: “Medium, please.”

    Waitress: “And which side?”

    Father-In-Law: “Both.”

    Don’t Even Want To Know What A Milkshake Is

    | Lafeyette, LA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (My store is selling goodie bags of various candies as stocking stuffers. One of the candies we use are colorful chocolate-flavored spheres a little smaller than gumballs. We use only white ones for the goodie bags. The label refers to them as ‘snowman poop,’ with a little poem about how the child it’s for has been naughty. A couple roaming the store have caught sight of the goodie bags, and the man is particularly interested in the snowman poop.)

    Man: “Snowman poop? It’s normally marshmallows… He must have been constipated!”

    (I double over laughing, and the man begins cheering for himself for having caused such a reaction.)

    Party Crashed And Burned

    , | Fairborn, OH, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (For the past couple of days we’ve had signs on our doors indicating the dining room would be closed for a Christmas party. The night of the party, I come up to the door carrying a dish in a stone pan. The manager opens the door to let me in when a customer runs past me, inside the dining room.)

    Me: “What was—”

    Manager: “Hold on.” *closes the door behind me* “Now we shouldn’t have customers trying to come in.”

    (I set the dish down and go to get my second load from my car. When I get back, a family of customers is seated in a booth next to the food my coworkers and I have brought in.)

    Customer: “Hey, you! What is with that food?”

    Me: “We’re having a Christmas party.”

    Customer: “You are?”

    (I look at my coworkers, and then at the decorations and the games we have set up.)

    Coworker: “Yes! We closed at nine.”

    Customer: “You did?”

    Manager: “We have signs up saying that we did.”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t see those.”

    Manager: “Because you ran past my employee, who was carrying stuff in for it.”

    (The customer blushes and helps his family pack up to leave.)

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