November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

No Longer Power-Mad Over Those With Power

, | TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

(At the fast food place where I work we’re constantly getting customers complaining about the prices of our food, mostly when it’s only women working the counter. Though we tell them they can call the number provided to complain to our main branch, they never do. This day, however, corporate representatives, including the owner of the store, was at our restaurant for a routine inspection.)

Customer: “I can’t believe how high this stuff is! This is ridiculous!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but we have no control over the prices.”

Customer: “It’s still f***ed up! You need to lower the prices!”

Manager: “Sir, I have no control the price of the food. However, if you have a problem with it, you can go talk to the man in the tie right over there. He’s the one that sets the prices.”

(The man looks at the owner and turns back, red-faced. He takes his food and leaves the store, not even glancing back in the direction of the owner.)

Manager: “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

(He’s never complained about the prices since.)

The Place With The Dragon Menu

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Does anyone have any questions regarding the menu?”

Guest: “Yes. I see here that you have a dragon sushi roll on your menu. Now is that REAL dragon or imitation dragon?”

(I chuckle and smile and wait maybe three seconds before I realize that this is a legitimate question. I look at her friends who are mortified and respond.)

Me: “Oh, no, ma’am, that is absolutely real dragon! In fact here at [Restaurant Group] we’ve employed an entire department to make special trips to England to hunt and slay dragons. I believe the dragon we have today was killed two days ago and picked up this morning from Savannah.”

Guest: “Well, good, because I just absolutely can’t stand imitation dragon.”

If Only You Could Listen To Yourself

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

(I work on the drive-thru. It is in the winter and after we close. I pull my car up near the drive-thru window so I can run a cord out to the block heater while we close up. Most of the store lights are off, including the drive-thru menu and ‘open’ sign. Any cars that pull up after close hear an automated message: ‘thanks for your visit, but we are currently closed.’ As I’m cleaning, I can overhear the message on a headset that’s still on, but I ignore it; we usually get lots of customers showing up after close. About 20 minutes after, as we’re nearly finished, we suddenly hear banging and shouting at the window. The manager goes to the window and tries to tell her we’re closed, but she won’t have it, so he opens the window.)

Lady: “What the f*** is going on here?! I’ve been in line 20 minutes and there’s not even anyone in this car!”

Manager: “Ma’am, we’ve been closed for over 30 minutes now.”

Lady: “So why is the car just sitting here?!”

Manager: “That’s an employee’s car; we’re warming it up so it’ll be warm when we go.”

Lady: “That’s fine, but what about my order? The car is in the way you know! Your dumb-a** employee shouldn’t park in the drive-thru.”

Manager: “Well, I told you. We’re closed now.”

Lady: “Well, I ordered 20 minutes ago. What happened to that?”

(We all took off our headsets as soon as we closed, but my manager asked us if we took an order anyway.)

Manager: “No one here talked to you, ma’am.”

(The lady looks at me and the other guy standing behind the manager.)

Lady: “Well, some lady took my order. She shouldn’t have done that if you’re closed”

(At this point, we all figure out what has happened.)

Manager: “Ma’am, the only lady that worked tonight left four hours ago. Did you actually listen to what they said to you?”

Lady: “Yes. Well, no, not really. She answered and I placed my order. I was on the phone at the time.”

Manager: “Well, sorry, but that was an automated message informing you that we we’re closed.”

Lady: “…well, it should be more clear when you’re not open!”

(She walked away before we could point out the three different signs she would have passed that have our hours listed.)

The Rules Are Carved In Stone

| KY, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I ring up a lady who got only a carving pumpkin, which are quite large, and she slides her card through the machine. Note: I’m 16 and relatively new to my job.)

Me: “That’s weird; it didn’t charge your card.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “It charged $0.00 to your card. Could you slide it again for me?”

Customer: “No, it’ll charge me twice.”

Me: “Well, it charged $0.00 the first time, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(She slides her card again. This time I realize she’s using food stamps.)

Me: “Oh, ma’am, it’s not food stamp eligible.”

Customer: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s not.”

Customer: “Pumpkins are technically food, so yes, it is.”

Me: “The computer doesn’t think it is.”

Customer: “Look, kid, have they not taught you in school yet that you can pay for food with food stamps?”

Me: “Ma’am, these are ‘carving’ pumpkins.”

Customer: “Okay, now you’re p***ing me off. Pumpkins are food. Now, ring it up right or I’m going to talk to your manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I understand that pumpkins are food, but we sell these pumpkins specifically for carving, not for eating.”

Customer: “Pumpkins. Are. Food.”

Me: “Do you intend to eat it?”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Are you going to eat this pumpkin, ma’am?”

Customer: “…no, but that shouldn’t matter.”

Me: “Ma’am, food stamps are for people who can’t afford to buy food themselves. If you can afford to use them to buy decorations, then maybe you shouldn’t be using them.”

Customer: *she glares at me for a second, then hands me a five dollar bill* “Unbelievable.”

(She then stormed out.)

Have A Heart (Failure)

| Staines, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am a customer in a supermarket. Unfortunately I am standing by the dairy aisle watching a paramedics team trying to save a man on the floor who’s probably had a heart attack. Both ends of the aisle are crudely boxed off and a member of staff is standing there preventing anyone entering the aisle. At the far end of the aisle there’s a middle-aged woman arguing with the staff member to be quickly let in to just get a tub of spread. She is quietly being told no. The woman must have run down the next aisle because she suddenly appears next to me and starts arguing again with another staff member.)

Customer: “Can you just reach over and pass me a tub of that [Spread]?”

Staff Member: “Ma’am, please, have a bit of sensitivity…”

Customer: “Oh, right! As if he cares one way or another!”

(The rest of us customers stared at each other in disbelief!)