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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,183 thumbs up)
  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    How To Make Your Cake Extra ‘Special’

    | NC, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I am helping a customer place an order for two cakes.)

    Me: “Okay, that’s about everything. Did you want anything written on the cakes?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure.” *turns to his wife* “Honey, what should I have written on the cakes? How about ‘Pot’ on one and ‘Luck’ on the other since it’s a potluck?”

    Customer’s Wife: “Are you asking if I think you should have ‘Pot’ written on a cake?”

    Customer: “Good point. No, nothing written on them.”

    Me: “Sounds like a good choice.”

    Doesn’t Have A Thought For Food

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I have worked at this restaurant for three years, but for the past six months I have only worked on Sundays. I am covering a shift for a coworker on a Saturday, a day when all of the hamburgers on the menu are half price.)

    Me: “Is everybody ready to order?”

    Customer: “Well, I get the same thing every week but, since apparently you’re new, I guess I’ll have to order today.”

    (I decided it wasn’t worth arguing that I most definitely wasn’t new.)

    Me: “Okay… What would you like?”

    Customer: “I want it medium well, with fries extra crispy.”

    Me: “What is it that you want medium well?”

    Customer: “My hamburger.”

    Me: “Which hamburger would you like?”

    Customer: “The same one I always get!”

    Me: “I understand that ma’am, but as you already mentioned, I haven’t served you before so I don’t know what you usually order.”

    Customer: “Fine!” *to her husband* “What do I usually get?”

    Husband: *shrugs*

    Customer: “Ugh. I just want a regular burger medium well!”

    Me: “Okay, so a plain hamburger medium well with extra crispy fries.”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want a plain hamburger!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What did you want on your burger?”

    Customer: “Cheese!”

    Me: “Okay. What kind of cheese?”

    Customer: “Swiss!”

    Me: “Okay so that’s a Swiss cheeseburger medium well?”

    Customer: “And bacon!”

    Me: “Okay, so a bacon cheeseburger with Swiss and extra crispy fries?”

    Customer: “Yes! Was that so hard?!”

    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 11

    , | Red Deer, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am taking orders on drive thru.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hey! So, I hear you guys have hickory-smoked bacon! This is true, right? You have bacon?”

    Me: “Yes, we do. It can be added to any sandwich or baked goo—”

    Customer: “No, no, I just want bacon. Bacon!”

    Me: “Just bacon alone?”

    Customer: “Yeah! Lots of bacon!”

    Me: “So, would 10 slices be okay?”

    Customer: “No, make it 20! 30! Lots of bacon!”

    (I give him his total and he drives up to the window. I go wait by soup and sandwich for his order to be ready.)

    Coworker: “30 slices of bacon on the side? On the side of what?”

    Me: “…Just bacon. 30 slices of bacon.”

    (My coworker stares blankly at me before wrapping 30 slices of bacon in a sandwich bag and giving it to me, shaking her head. I take the bacon to the window and my other coworker gives it to him.)

    Customer: “Thanks, man! Gotta have my bacon!” *drives off*

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    From NotAlwaysRomantic
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 10
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 9
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 8
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 7
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 6
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 5
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 4
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 3
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility, Part 2
    With Great Bacon, Comes Great Responsibility

    A Hearty Breakfast

    | Stuart, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Ms. [Name], I need to take your vital signs. Your heart monitor is alarming.”

    Patient: “Do you ALWAYS interrupt people when they are eating their breakfast?!”

    Me: “Yes. This is a hospital, not a hotel. The vitals are more important right now than your breakfast.”

    Bartenders Are Good Listeners, But Not That Good

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m at the pub where my little brother works. A man wanders in and just stares at my brother behind the bar.)

    Brother: “Can I help you?”

    Man: *continues to stare*

    Brother: “Hello? What can I get you?”

    Man: “How much will that be?”

    Brother: “You haven’t actually ordered yet. What would you like?”

    Man: *stares more intently*

    Brother: *confused* “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not psychic.”

    Man: “Really? Oh, I’ll have a rum and coke then, please.”

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