November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

You Just Drank PP

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(A lady and her husband walk into the store and order two medium coffees, one with milk, and one with double cream and double sugar. It is required that we mark the lid in order to determine whose beverage is whose, so I mark the drink with double cream and double sugar. Usually for this I write ‘dd’ on the lid. I put the drink on the counter, and the lady walks over to pick up her drink. She looks at the drink and asks me why I put two ‘p’s on the lid.)

Me: “Ma’am, those are ‘d’s. The drink is facing the opposite way”.

Her: “Why don’t you put the proper “D”s on the lid?”

Me: “I use that to indicate decaf coffee.”

Her:“But the ‘d’ is not a real letter anyway; learn to write properly next time.” *walks off in a huff*

A Thin And Crispy Argument

| MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am managing a very busy popular grab-and-go pizza place. The customer is the father of some former employees and his family; we always tend to give them a good deal on their food since two of his kids have worked at our location in the past. On this occasion they have received their food, with significant discount, when the father comes back into the store with a displeased look on his face.)

Customer: “Hey, [My Name], can you come over here?”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: *opens pizza box displaying the thin and crispy pizza they had ordered and steps back, arms crossed with a look of disgust*

(I look at the pizza and can see nothing wrong.)

Me: “I don’t understand.”

Customer: “You would eat this?!”

(I look again and see that the pizza has all the characteristics that we look for when making a thin crust, particularly the fact that it has cooked slightly longer than our classic crust pizza, to give it the crispy part of the ‘thin and crispy.’)

Me: “Of course! It looks delicious!”

(He looks at me dumbfounded.)

Customer: “No, this pizza is burnt!”

(Every time they have ever ordered this same pizza, it has always looked like this, but, trying to be nice I explain to him.)

Me: “Well, I will gladly make you a new pizza but this is how our thin crust pizzas come out of the oven. If you would like to have your pizzas lightly cooked, then we need to have that information before the order is made, so that we can have everything the way you would like it.”

Customer: *looks as if he is struggling to hold back anger* “I have never seen a pizza look like this and I have been to several [Pizza Chain]s in this area! I want my whole order redone!”

(At this point, I have a line forming behind him and I can see other customers begin to look annoyed at the extended wait.)

Me: *to the workers making the pizzas, with just a hint of incredulity* “Hey, I need [Customer]’s order redone! Make sure everything is lightly done and perfect for him before he leaves again.”

(He then storms out of the store, leaving his kids to wait for the food. After the rush has calmed down a bit, I and a coworker, the one who had cut the pizzas for him originally, are in the back of the store inspecting the pizzas he had the issue with.)

Coworker: “I can’t believe he would make such a fit about his food, in front of a lobby full of people, especially when he has had two kids work here in the past who have had to deal with rude customers like him!”

Me: *grabbing a slice of the thin crust and taking a bite* “Oh, well. I was hungry anyway!”

The Cake Website Is A Lie

| Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work on the hands-on side of a small online sports gear store, packing and answering the phone. I overhear the following phone call on speaker.)

Coworker: “Hello, [Sports Store]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, hi. I haven’t actually looked at your website but I was wondering if you could help me; do you have any cake decorating supplies?”

Coworker: “Uh… no I’m afraid we don’t carry cake decorating gear. We mostly stock sports goods.”

Customer: *disappointed* “Oh… well, I don’t want that. Maybe I’ll check your website.” *click*

Coworker: *to me* “Cake decorating is a sport now?”

The Question Is Largely Irregular

, | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We run a mobile coffee van. When we go to the markets we have a sign with the prices and types of coffee that you can get. On the sign we have R $4.50, for regular size, and L $5.50 for large size.)

Customer: “What’s the difference between left-handed and right-handed coffee?”

Driving Out The Lies

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I’m a manager; however, we’re short staffed so I’m helping with deliveries. After taking a delivery I get this call. I’m a girl.)

Customer: “I have a complaint about the service I received tonight. The delivery guy cussed me out and I had to chase him down the street to get my food. He also refused to give me my change. It was cold and over an hour late. I want my money back, my pizza remade, and a gift card.”

Me: “Oh, wow! I am so sorry. I’ll be glad to help, but first can I have your address and a description of the driver?”

(She gives her address, and says the driver was a tall guy. She ‘couldn’t see too well in the dark’ for a better description.)

Me: “Okay… Well, I’d be happy to help, but first would you like to change your story? I don’t quite believe it.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?!

Me: “First of all, a guy answered the door. I was your driver tonight and I certainly don’t recall any of this occurring. Can you explain once more why you need a gift card?”

Customer: “…oh, s**t.” *hangs up*