• A Pain In The Nugget
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Still Got Meat Between Their Ears

    , | Adelaide, SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

    (I’m taking drive-thru orders over the speaker box. This particular fast-food chain is known for making burgers “your way” – adding or removing condiments, no matter what the request. Condiments such as lettuce and tomato are free within reason, but some customers try to get away with ordering a plain burger, and then requesting all of the condiments be added, assuming they will get a burger with everything for the price of a plain one.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food Restaurant]. Place your order when you’re ready, please.”

    Customer: “I’ll have a hamburger, please.”

    Me: “Sure thing; one hamburger is $1.10. Is there anything e-”

    Customer: *”On the hamburger, I’d like cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and mayonnaise.”

    Me: “No worries. That’s one Junior [Brand-name] burger with cheese. That’s $2.85; is there anything else?”

    Customer: “… Oh, uh, I’ve changed my mind. How much is a five inch bun on its own?”

    Me: “60c.”

    Customer: “I’ll get a five inch bun, with sauce, mayo, lettuce, tomato, onion, and cheese.”

    Me: “Sure thing. So, that’s a [full-priced burger] minus the meat. That’ll be $3.85… Drive through, please.”

    Customer: “D*** IT! You guys are meant to be stupid high-school drop-outs that are easy to fool. Just give me the burger with the meat on it then, thanks.”

    Big Box Of Bad

    | MA, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (My mother and I are having lunch at a chain restaurant where we’ve always gotten decent food and great service. The lady at the next table keeps calling our waitress over to complain about her food, to the point where it’s getting on my mom’s nerves. The waitress is apologetic and gets her bill adjusted for her.)

    Waitress: “…and here’s your dessert. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.

    Lady: “Thank you. Oh, and can I get a box for the rest of this?”

    (Mom and I exchange a look.)

    Mom: “That bad, huh?”

    No Drink Americano

    | BC, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I work at a popular ski resort in Canada. We get a lot of American tourists, many very rude and demanding. I am the barista on duty. I do not take customer’s orders, but the layout of the store means that a lot of customers talk to me while I make their drinks. This particular customer has ordered an Americano, which is made with espresso shots and hot water.)

    Customer: “What are you doing?”

    Me: “I’m making an Americano.”

    Customer: “Is that for me?”

    Me: “I’m not sure; I didn’t take your order. Is your name John?”

    Customer: “Yes, but I ordered coffee, not whatever this is.”

    Me: “The order slip says you ordered an Americano. That’s what this drink is, sir.”

    Customer: “You Canadians have a really stupid way of making coffee. I have been all over the world and I have never seen coffee made like this before.”

    Me: “Actually, sir, Americanos are not Canadian. They were invented by Italians, for Americans who didn’t like traditional Italian espresso and had to have it diluted with water.”

    Customer: “Hmph!” *takes his drink and walks away*

    Multitasking Is Tasking You

    | Evansville, IN, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer has called in to order; I am just finishing up the details of her purchase.)

    Me: “All right, ma’am, that’s [list of her items], and the total comes to [price]. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Well.. could you hang on a minute? I’m ordering lunch.”

    Me: “…What?”

    Customer: “I’m in the drive through at [Restaurant]! Just wait a minute.”

    (She proceeds to order enough food for at least six people, and I can overhear other people in the car with her. This takes several minutes.)

    Customer: “I’m ready to check out now. Thanks for waiting!”

    Me: “Yeah, no problem…”

    Shake Up The Calorie Count

    | Perth, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (Our shake/sundae machine is down for cleaning and boy, did that create a lot of unhappy customers.)

    Customer: “I’d like a chicken burger meal with a chocolate shake, please.”

    Me: “Sorry, our shake machine is down for maintenance at the moment. Would you like to try a chocolate frappe instead?”

    Customer: “What’s in that?”

    Me: “Blended ice, chocolate, and whipped cream on top. It’s—”

    Customer: “Oh, no, that’d have way too much sugar and fat. I’ll have a [Soda] instead.”

    Me: “…Okay, then.”

    (Frappes have a lower calorie count than both shakes AND [Soda]. I just… sigh.)

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