Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,208 thumbs up)
  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    It’ll Be With You In Two Shakes

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (Note that our milkshakes come in small and large, which are served in the small and medium soft drink cups. Our large soft drink cups have a different shape, so they can’t fit under the milkshake spinner. A customer approaches my register to order.)

    Customer: “I just love your peach milkshakes! The large just isn’t big enough though. Why don’t you have them the same sizes as your drinks?”

    (I explain about the machine.)

    Customer: “Oh. So I can’t get an extra large milkshake?”

    Me: “Well, we don’t sell that size. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Can’t you figure out how to ring one up? I just love them so much and the large is never enough!”

    (I have an idea and turn to ask my manager, who is over by the drive through. She agrees, so I come back to the customer.)

    Me: “Well, if you want to buy a small and a large shake, I can then combine them into the big cup. It’s the same size ounce-wise.”

    Customer: “Yes! Oh, yes, I would love that. Your milkshakes are just so good!”

    Me: “Okay, that will be [price].”

    (He pays and I go make the milkshakes. While I am, I can hear him telling other customers how awesome our shakes are and how excited he is. My coworkers are amused at me making two shakes and then dumping them into a huge cup. When it’s done, I turn back to the customer.)

    Me: “Do you want whipped cream? I’m afraid the milkshake lid won’t fit since it’s not made for the bigger cup.”

    Customer: “Yes! And that’s okay; I’ll drink it really fast.”

    (I finish off his monster milkshake and hand it to him. He looks like a little kid who’s just met Santa.)

    Customer: “Thanks so much!”

    (He literally skipped out of the restaurant, drinking his shake.)

    Gives New Meaning To ‘Can I Take Your Order’

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I am in line at a deli. You place your order at the front counter, they make it, call out your name, and you pick it up at the back counter. It’s lunch time, so the line’s out the door.)

    Employee: “Susan!”

    (A male customer in a business suit walks up to the counter.)

    Customer: “What’s the order?”

    Employee: “Chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese.”

    Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

    Employee: “Jerry!”

    Customer: “What’s that order?”

    Employee: “Do you not remember what name your order was under?”

    Customer: “Nah, I just don’t feel like waiting in line, so I figured I’d just wait until a ham and cheese came up, and grab it.”

    Their IQ Is Below Zero

    | Portsmouth, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (Whilst taking a customer’s cocktail order on a Friday night:)

    Customer: “Is your ice fresh or frozen?”

    Not Like A Kid In A Candy Store

    | Lafayette, LA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (The candy store I work in is located in the mall, so it’s pretty common to hear young children excitedly realizing that there’s a candy store. Today is really no different, so I simply chuckle when I hear a young boy start shouting.)

    Boy: “Look! It’s the candy store! Candy store!”

    (However, what he says next is a bit unusual.)

    Boy: “And it’s all free, too!”

    (Shocked, I rush to intercept the boy before he can actually get into the store, as we have bins right by the door which are easy for children to get into.)

    Boy: “Free candy! Free candy! Free candy!”

    Me: *alarmed* “Nothing is free! Nothing is free!

    (The boy freezes in his tracks, just barely inside the store, and stares at me as though I’d just told him he was never getting another birthday present for the rest of his life.)

    Boy: *betrayed* “NONE of it?!”

    Me: “None of it!”

    (He stared at me for a moment, then turned around and slowly trudged off. I’m just glad I was able to stop him!)

    A Chain Reaction

    , | TX, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Language & Words

    (I stop at a regional fast food chain restaurant for dinner. As I pay, I accidentally pull out a credit card for a big box chain, but realize my mistake and switch cards before swiping. The cashier talks to someone in the drive-through…)

    Cashier: “Welcome to [Big Box Chain]. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

    (I’m not sure I heard that right, but then…)

    Kitchen Worker: “Uh, [Cashier], you realize this is [Fast Food Chain] and not [Big Box Chain].”

    Me: *loud enough they can hear me in the kitchen* “It’s my fault; I took out my [Fast Food Chain] card and he…” *trail off as I realize* “…now I’m doing it.”

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