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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Their Team Aren’t On A (Tootsie) Roll

    | NC, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I’m volunteering at a college basketball game. A fellow volunteer and I are tasked with checking bags at the pre-game party for donors to an alumni organization. Many of the people attending this party are older and attend every single game, so they know the drill. Bags are searched to prevent people from bringing in alcohol or outside food.)

    Me: “Hello. Can I check your bag?”

    Customer: “Sure, hon.” *she holds her purse open for me*

    Me: “Could you pull that out for me, please?”

    (I indicate what looks to be a ziplock bag, as it is underneath a few of her items and I cannot see what is in it.)

    Customer: “Alrighty.”

    (The customer pulls out the bag, which I can now see contains several Tootsie Rolls.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to leave that here. We don’t allow any outside food.”

    Customer: “But I have to bring them in! It’s tradition!”

    Me: “I apologize, but you have to leave them here.”

    Customer: “You don’t understand! I’m bringing them for my friend. He passes them out every time at halftime to make sure [Home Team] wins!”

    Me: “Sorry, but I can’t let you take them in. It’s the stadium’s policy.”

    Customer: “Well, then, if [Home Team] loses it’ll be all your fault!”

    Me: *doing my very best to remain serious* “I guess I’ll have to take that risk.”

    (Her team did lose. The group I volunteer with jokingly threatened to make me apologize to the players.)

    Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2

    , | USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (One very early morning, I have just made a customer a hot mocha.)

    Customer: “Um, I think there’s something wrong with my drink. It’s really cold. It’s not even lukewarm!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry! Maybe I hit the iced button by accident. Let me remake that for you.”

    (I proceed to remake the drink, being extra careful to make it perfectly.)

    Me: “All done! Again, sorry about that.”

    (The customer takes a tiny sip and slams the cup back on the counter.)

    Customer: “It’s still cold!”

    Me: “Sir… that was the whipped cream. Your coffee is underneath it.”

    Related:
    Not The Cream Of The Crop

    They’re Magically Cannibalicious!

    | Northern Ireland, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a small store in Northern Ireland where we sell some American imports but for quite a bit more expensive prices.)

    Me: “That’ll be £6.95, ma’am.”

    Customer: “How dare you try to scam your customers?!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Selling Lucky Charms for seven dollars? That is preposterous. At home they are only two dollars in Target.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, we do have to import them… This IS Northern Ireland.”

    Customer: “This is part of Ireland?”

    Me: “I guess you could say that.”

    Customer: “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think about how I might be offending you! Don’t worry this cereal isn’t really leprechauns. We wouldn’t eat your relatives!” *pays and leaves without cereal*

    (My manager got a call later that night saying that the cereal was for me and that she was very sorry for ‘acting like some sort of cannibal.’)

    Serving Justice One Slice At A Time

    | Victorville, CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I take gunsmithing classes. I also deliver pizza as a job and volunteer as a Police Explorer. One night a customer who lives in the projects sees me in uniform.)

    Customer: “You deliver pizza!”

    Me: “Yes, I do.”

    Customer: “Well, you never saw any of that stuff at my place!”

    Me: “What stuff?”

    Customer: “Exactly! You never saw it!”

    (Too bad I never remembered his address. Might have been able to get a warrant to find out what stuff he didn’t have there.)

    Outside Voice, Waiting Outside

    | Canada | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I have just transferred down the road to another shop in our coffee chain, after the one I used to work at cut down on its employees. It is very busy. A man walks up to the drink counter, takes a drink, and walks away. All of a sudden, a customer who had been sitting at a table runs up towards one of my coworkers and starts yelling.)

    Customer: “I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting and you f****** haven’t made my drink! This is f****** horrible service! I have a f****** meeting in a few minutes, and I need my f****** coffee!”

    Coworker: “Sorry, but the order list says that we did make your drink. Are you sure it’s not up there?” *gestures to the table full of drinks*

    Customer: “OF COURSE I’M SURE! I think that you’re f****** ignoring me! That or you drank my drink. B****, make me another drink or I’ll sue! This is s***** customer service. You should be f****** fired!”

    (At this point my coworker is at the verge of tears. She is new, and just old enough to get a job.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but didn’t you do this at the other [Coffee Shop] down the street? I distinctly remember you yelling at us for not making your drink while your boyfriend waited outside with the exact same drink in his hand.”

    (Sure enough, when we looked out the window the same man was out there, holding the drink.)

    Customer: *turns beet red, stammers something, and runs off*


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