Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Wants To Have Her Cake And Eat It

| MT, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work as a cake decorator. A woman and her seven-year-old daughter come into the store to order a birthday cake for the girl. The mother argues with her daughter over which cake to get, consents to let the girl have the cake she wants, places the order, then returns a couple days later with her daughter to pick up her order.)

Customer: “This isn’t the cake I ordered.”

(I proceed to go over the order form with her. We have a policy of reading back each order when it is placed to make sure we have all the information, and the customer had previously confirmed that the order was accurate. As I am the one who took the order, I know for a fact that I did this.)

Me: “According to your order form you ordered [cake decoration pack] in white buttercream, with “Happy Birthday [Daughter].”

Customer: “No, I ordered [other decoration pack], not this one! I want this cake for free since you messed up on it!”

Daughter: “Mom, we ordered this one, because this is the one I wanted!”

Customer: “No, I didn’t want this one. I wanted the other one!”

(I show the little girl her cake.)

Me: “Is this what you wanted your cake to look like?”

Daughter: “Yes! It’s perfect!”

Me: “Okay, here you go! You have a wonderful birthday!”

(I handed the cake to the girl, who was clearly impressed by the job we did. The mother glared at me and my coworkers before conceding victory to her daughter, then left to pay for the cake.)

Imagination Cake

| IL, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, sir, anything I can get for you?”

Customer: “I have a cake order to pick up!”

Me: “Okay, what is the last name on the order?”

Customer: [Last Name].

Me: “Okay I’ll be right back with your cake.”

(I bring back the cake and show the customer.)

Customer: “What’s that?! That’s not my cake?”

Me: “Oh? Okay. Is this your last name and phone number on the ticket?”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s me!”

Me: “Okay, so what does the cake you ordered look like?”

Customer: “Not like that! That looks like s***!”

Me: “I’m, sorry you think that. Let’s take a look in the computer to see the cake you ordered.”

Customer: “Yeah! Let’s do that! Because this is not my cake! You don’t want my wife to come in here do you?!”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “There that’s my cake!” *he points at the computer screen, he points at the exact cake I just showed him*

Me: “Sir, that’s the same cake.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! You think I’m stupid?! I’m getting my wife!”

(About a minute later the wife comes in.)

Customers Wife: “Oh! It’s beautiful! This looks amazing!”

Customer: *looking puzzled* “This is our cake?”

Customer’s Wife: “Yeah, it’s what we ordered.”

Customer: “Oh… well… I imagined it differently.”

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Thanks No-Name!

| QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names

(I work in fast food, and at our store we have a number of questions we need to ask customers.)

Me: “So that was a medium fries and a wrap. Would you like to upsize the fries for 50c?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “…and did you want to make that a meal?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you have your loyalty card on you today?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Would you like to start one?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “And can I grab your name for the order?”

Customer: “No. Oh! Sorry. Paul.”

Fluid Memory; Difficult To Grasp

| Tucson, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I sometimes eat in at a pizza joint about a block or so down the road from work when my shift is over and I’m hungry enough to eat a rhinoceros.  I’m doing so after a very busy Christmas week shift I hadn’t been prepared for. Needless to say, I’m a bit out of it, and I usually order the same thing, so I hardly ever look at the menu. The drink order goes a bit like this.)

Employee: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get you to drink?”

(At this point, I recall a half-and-half mix of root beer and Dr Pepper I grew fond of during a recent dinner party, and decide that’s my drink order for the evening.)

Me: “Could I get a half-and-half of root beer and Dr Pepper?”

Employee: “We don’t have Dr Pepper. Would you like something else in that half-and-half?”

Me: “Well, could you please tell me what you do have?”

Employee: *lists several sodas, including root beer – which I somehow mishear as Dr Pepper*

Me: “Dr Pepper.”

(The waitress repeats that Dr Pepper is unavailable at least three more times before I pause for about three seconds. I face-palm and start chuckling once I realize I’ve momentarily become that customer who never seems to understand something spoken to him, clear as day, regardless of how many times it’s mentioned.)

Me: “Oh, my God. Ah, I’ll have a cola-root beer half-and-half, please.”

Employee: “All right, a cola-root beer half-and-half. Anything else to drink?”

Me: “No. Thanks for being so patient with me, by the way!”

(I still visit that particular pizza joint. But every so often, as I’m eating my pizza, I still remember how I once somehow failed to understand what “We don’t have Dr Pepper” means.)

Don’t Listen And Lose Out

| Canton, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am working the drive-through on a late-night shift with one other manager. It’s slow, but we do get a few customers. A customer pulls up to the drive-through.)

Customer: “Hello? I’d like two [Sandwich], please, but I don’t see them on the menu.”

Manager: “Sorry about that, sir; they recently changed the name of the [Sandwich], which is probably why you didn’t see it. We still have it, it’s just called the [New Sandwich] now.”

Customer: “Oh, shoot, that’s a shame. I’ll have two [Chicken Sandwich] instead, then.”

(My manager and I share a look, and I chime in, thinking he may have misheard my manager.)

Me: “We still have the [Sandwich], sir. It has just been renamed. Same bun, same toppings, same everything, just a new name.”

Customer: “Oooooh. Darn, that’s a real shame. Guess I have to have two [Chicken Sandwich] instead, then?”

(My manager shakes his head and puts the sandwiches through, and the customer takes them and drives off.)

Manager: “You know, that would have been funny if he hadn’t been through here the last two nights, and had the exact same problem.”

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