Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Cheerily Getting Her Way

, | Australia | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A man comes shopping with his adorable five year old daughter, and this happens as I’m serving him. Note: For those who don’t know, “cheerios” is a common name for cocktail frankfurts, which kids love.)

Customer: “I’ll have 250g of that ham, please.”

(The whole time I’m weighing and wrapping, his daughter is trying to get his attention.)

Daughter: “Daaad. Dad. Cheerios, dad. Daaaaad…”

Me: *hands over item* “Anything else?”

Daughter: “Cheerios?”

Customer: *smiling but still ignoring her* “Also a half kilo of chicken thighs.”

Daughter: *hands on hips, looking at her father, but it was clear that she wanted me to hear her words* “Daddy, did you say CHEERIOS?”

Me: *as I weigh and wrap* “She has the most adorable little attitude. Anything else?”

Customer: “And a half kilo of cheerios… I’m going to have to watch out for her when she’s older, she’s too cute to say no to!”

Me: “I think she knows it, too!”

(The girl took the cheerios from me with a smug grin.)

Common Sense Just Melts Away, Part 2

| WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(A customer comes angrily up to the counter with his burger.)

Customer: “Look at this. This is unacceptable. The cheese isn’t even melted!”

(The manager on duty happens to be currently working one of the registers.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. We can’t actually melt the cheese, since our burgers are flame-broiled; we just stick it on the burger at the end. After it sits for about 30 seconds, it melts itself.”

Customer: *louder and more agitated* “This is ridiculous! You call this customer service? You’re no better than [much cheaper competitor]! When I order a cheeseburger I expect my cheese melted!”

Manager: “Like I said, we have no way of doing that, but if you let it sit for about 30 seconds, it should melt right on. Would you like me to get you a new burger?”

Customer: *loud enough by this point that everyone is staring* “What’s the point? You’re not going to make that one any better! This is the worst burger I’ve ever seen!”

Manager: “Would you like a refund?”

Customer: “NO! I am NEVER coming here again!”

(He THROWS his cheeseburger across the counter at the manager and storms out.)

Manager: “Good! We don’t need your business!”

(The man stormed out, and all the employees and everyone in line started laughing. The best part was that we looked at the burger, and the cheese was melted just fine.)

Related:
Common Sense Just Melts Away

Shouldn’t Spit Out Those Words

, | Bloomington, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(We have posted signs on our doors stating that our lobby would be closing for a manager’s meeting two hours earlier than usual. Three college-age boys come in at about twenty minutes till close, clearly oblivious. My manager is the one to ring up their food, and the following exchange ensues:)

Manager: “All right, and I have to tell you, our lobby will be closing in about twenty minutes for the managers to have a meeting.”

Customer: “Wow! What d***s!”

Manager: “Well, technically I’m a manager, so. . . .”

(The customer immediately goes white, then red.)

Customer: “I am SO sorry!!! …Please don’t spit in my food!”

Manager: “I mean, you can literally watch us make it, so. . .”

Customer: “I’m sorry!”

This Is Just The Tip Of The Ice

, | Okemos, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in a small coffee kiosk located in a shopping mall. A customer comes up, and the transaction is fairly normal right up until the end.)

Customer: “This coffee is so hot! Could you please get me some ice to cool it down?”

Me: “Of course!”

(I proceed to grab a paper cup and put a reasonable amount of ice in it, which I then hand to the customer.)

Customer: “Oh, this isn’t enough! Can I have more?”

Me: “Sure, sorry about that!” *I do exactly as she asks*

Customer: “Now this is just too much ice. Can you pour a little out?”

Me: “Uh-huh.”

(I’m a little annoyed, but do my best to be as polite as possible as I pour a little bit of ice out.)

Customer: “That’s still too much ice! I really wish I could just do this myself…”

(The customer then proceeds to pour about half of the ice into her hand, and then holds out her hand full of ice, clearly expecting me to do the same.)

Me: “Uh….”

(I grab a nearby cup for her to pour it in. She ignores this, dumps the ice on the credit card reader and containers of sugar packets, and walks away happily as can be with her coffee filled with what she apparently considered to be the perfect amount of ice.)

Fry Your Brains

, | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(It’s a semi-busy night. I and one other manager are up front helping to get orders out when this woman grabs my attention from across the counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, could you make sure my fries are extra crispy?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am.”

Customer: “Good. Thanks. I can’t have all that extra fat in me.”

Me: *stunned speechless for a few seconds* “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “I need them extra well done so there isn’t as much fat on my fries.”

(I blink a few more times before smiling, nodding, and turning around to relay this information to the manager.)

Manager: *in response to the customers request* “Wait, what?”

Me: “You heard me.”

Manager: “Did you explain how deep frying works?”

Me: “You know, it wasn’t worth the argument.”

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