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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Maybe They Were Cream-Filled?

    | OH, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (We are having yard sale at our house, where I am selling all kinds of things including chocolate molds for making different types of chocolate candies. A very nice and friendly elderly lady approaches me to chat about them.)

    Lady: “You know, I used to have to buy chocolate by the 100 lb. bag because I made and sold so much candy.”

    Me: “Wow, sounds like you were pretty busy with it!”

    Lady: “Oh, yes, I had a room in my home dedicated to it. Most of my customers were my coworkers at [Local Plant].”

    Me: “How nice.”

    (I’m trying to be polite but I’ve got to be available for others to ask questions or make purchases.)

    Lady: “I used to make chocolate penises.”

    Me: “How ni— Wait, what?”

    Lady: “Penises. I made a birthday cake covered with chocolate penises for a coworker. It said, ‘here’s the beef!’ Ha! Penises! Can you imagine?”

    Thinks You’re Just Winging The Orders

    , | Evans, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Time

    (I work in a fast food chain that specializes in buffalo wings. Two separate customers order wings, the first customer orders 20 wings while the customer right behind him orders five wings. At the time, we only have 10 wings prepared for instant sale, and were about halfway through cooking a new batch; an eight minute process. We decide to get the five-wing customer his wings and cook the 20 wing fresh for the second customer. We make the order in a few seconds and I hand out the order to the customer who then walks out.)

    Other Customer: “Why did he get his order first?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We only had 10 wings ready so we didn’t have enough for your order… but we did have enough for him, so we went ahead and finished his order.”

    (The customer seemed content with the answer, not replying… so I went on with my cleaning until his order came up a moment later.)

    Me: “Here you are ,sir! Sorry about the wait, but we gave you all the fresh wings! Hope you enjoy!”

    Customer: “Lemme ask you something… Do you like f***ing your customers?”

    Me: “Uh… I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand…”

    Customer: “Why is it that you made me wait on my order and gave that guy his order first when I made my order first?”

    Me: “Uh, I’m sorry, sir. As I said before we only had 10 wings a few minutes ago… We didn’t have enough to make your order… but we DID have enough for his order so we went ahead and got his order out of the way… You would have had to wait anyway because even before we made his order we didn’t have enough for you order.”

    Customer: “This is discrimination!” (him, the other customer, and I are all the same race)

    Me: “No, sir! It’s not! We just didn’t have enough! We only had TEN wings! You ordered TWENTY! We didn’t have enough for you! We weren’t going to ask the guy with only FIVE wings to stand around waiting when we HAD enough for his order and NOT yours!”

    Customer: “I’m never eating here again!” *walks out*

    Should Have Eaten Fear For Breakfast

    | Portsmouth, VA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (An older male patron has started insisting that I (a young female) offer to buy him lunch earlier in the week. Every following day he would whisper a reminder in the form of a food order as he passed the reference desk.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, sir”

    Patron: “Chicken salad… Chicken Salad.”

    Me: *nods head, a little creeped out*

    (A patron walks past a few hours later to leave.)

    Patron: *intensely whispers* “Two hotdogs from Dairy Queen.”

    (They say nothing else. Later, I turn to my coworker:)

    Me: “Why is it always me?”

    Coworker: “They smell the fear… or your lunch.”

    Should Have Screamed For The Ice Cream

    , | Australia | Food & Drink

    (I’m serving an elderly woman that can’t hear very well. She has orders a meal and I don’t hear her, but I thought she said she wanted a cone as well.)

    Me: “Sorry, did you want the cone with the meal?”

    Customer: “No, that’s fine; that’s all.”

    Me: “So you didn’t want the cone?”

    Customer: “No, that’s all.”

    (The customer pays and get her meal.)

    Customer: “I ordered a cone with that…”

    In Defiance Of The Alliance

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer calls me over to his table.)

    Customer: “Do you use [popular American Brand] coffee?”

    Me: “No, sir, we use [Local Brand].”

    Customer: “But this is false advertising! You’re using [American Brand’s] logo! I only came here because I wanted [American Brand] coffee!”

    Me: “Please show me where you read this.”

    Customer: *still ranting, points at a logo on the menu*

    Me: “That’s the Rainforest Alliance logo. It just means that our brand is part of the Rainforest Alliance.”

    Customer: “Well… you shouldn’t be allowed to use the same picture.”

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