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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    That Request Just Takes The Cake

    | Boston, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (This happens right during the week of the Boston Marathon bombing and the day after the whole city and the surrounding towns were required to stay closed due to a manhunt of the bomber. There are announcements everywhere on the news the day before and cop cars telling us to stay indoors. This is what happens the day after.)

    Me: *looking at a book of cake orders* “Uh oh, looks like we have a cake order today.”

    (We make cake orders usually the day before and freeze it since they’re purely made out of mousse.)

    Manager: “Oh, okay, let me call the customer since we were closed all day yesterday. I’m sure they’ll understand since we had a situation yesterday.”

    (The manager goes away to call the customer but comes back shaking his head.)

    Manager: “Wow, I can’t believe it. She was really upset.”

    (A few minutes later, the customer comes in.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe it! Why didn’t you call me yesterday?”

    Manager: “We were closed yesterday due to the bombing…”

    Customer: “Well, you should have called! I was telling my sister how your cakes are great and now we can’t get the one we ordered? How unprofessional of you! Now I’m going to have to drive to Connecticut without one and ruin their son’s birthday! ”

    Manager: “You know, I’m sure YOUR sister will understand since Boston was closed down yesterday. Have a nice day!”

    (We did let her choose a cake that we already had in the store afterwards… but this situation really put a damper on all of us the rest of the day in the bakery…)

    A Sweet Slippery Request

    | CA.USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m second in line waiting on a fresh batch of kettle corn, which has just finished. We’ve all been watching the preparation process, from start to finish and no one’s said anything.)

    Worker: *to customer in front of me* “New batch is ready! Now, what would you like?”

    Customer: “A small, no sugar, no oil.”

    (The worker is taken aback and looking from the customer to the kettle of oil and huge mass of popped corn, leaving an awkward moment of silence.)

    Worker: “Unfortunately, that’s not going to be possible.”

    Also Forgot His Nuts

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, One-Liners

    (I go to the store to get bananas, and nothing else. I pay for the bananas, and start to walk away, forgetting them at the register.)

    Cashier: *holds bananas up and calls to me* “Hey! Your bananas!”

    Me: “That’s between me and my psychiatrist, thank you very much!”

    (We all have a good chuckle as I return for the bananas.)

    A Big Mayo No No

    | WA, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I am pregnant, and I find my brain occasionally ceases functioning. I often find myself at a loss for words. One night, while picking up dinner at a popular submarine sandwich shop, I confidently asked the young man making my sandwich for ‘brown mayonnaise.’)

    Employee: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “Brown mayonnaise?”

    Employee: “I… but… brown? Mayonnaise?”

    Me: “Yes, please! Just a little bit, though.”

    Employee: “I’m just so sorry, but I’ve never heard of brown mayonnaise, and we definitely don’t have any. I have regular mayonnaise, light mayonnaise, yellow mustard, brow… oh!” *grabs his bottle of brown mustard and offers it to me just as my brains clicks on*

    Me: “Did I seriously just ask you for brown mayonnaise, like, three times? I’m so sorry. Mustard. I definitely meant mustard.”

    Employee: “Thank goodness, because brown mayonnaise does not sound good at ALL.”

    (I had to agree.)

    We All Scream For The Wrong Ice Cream

    | NE, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I’m stocking product in an aisle while two older gentlemen are browsing through it. One is practically shouting into his phone.)

    Customer #1: *on phone* “HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF CHIPOLLETA ICE CREAM?”

    Customer #2: “GELATO!”

    Customer #1: *on phone* “GELATO ICE CREAM?”

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