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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Southern Discomfort

    | Washington DC, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I am giving out samples of hot sauce with tuna salad. An old man with a long grey beard and a thick Southern accent comes up to my table…)

    Me: “Hello, sir, would you like to try some tuna salad with hot sauce?”

    Customer: “Maybe. Can I see the hot sauce bottle?”

    Me: *thinking he wanted to see the ingredients* “All right, sure.” *I hand him the bottle*

    Customer: *carefully shakes the bottle, then tips it upside down to see how much is left*

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “Good girl, you’ve used a lot of it.”

    Me: “Well, I’ve been serving it to a lot of people.”

    Customer: “Yee-hee!”

    (The man unscrews the bottle, then tilts his head back and starts shaking hot sauce into his mouth.)

    Me: “Sir! Sir, I have to ask for that back now!”

    Customer: “Hee-hee. You can’t say you’re Cajun unless you can do that. You need one of those little bottles. I can chug them. Can’t call yourself Southern otherwise. Yee-hee!”

    (The man handed back the bottle and walked off. I sanitized the bottle as thoroughly as possible!)

    Over-spilling With Irresponsibility

    | Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (We sell hot drinks in takeaway cups. We serve them without sugar, and direct customers to the end of the counter where they can add it if they wish. My colleague has just served a woman her coffee:)

    Colleague: “Okay, that’s your latte there. Sugar is at the end of the counter if you need it. Enjoy your movie.”

    Customer: “Thank you.”

    (The customer takes the drink, and goes to the end of the counter, where she puts her cup on an uneven pile of napkins. When she then takes the lid off, the cup tips, and covers the counter and the customer. At this point, my colleague goes over to help clean up.)

    Colleague: “Don’t worry. We will get this cleaned up, and I will get you another coffee.”

    (After he gets the coffee, the customer asks for a supervisor.)

    Customer: “I think you should take responsibility for this accident. I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault, but you should take responsibility.”

    Supervisor: “We should take responsibility for you placing your drink on the napkins instead of the counter, and then spilling it on yourself?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    A Healing Cup Of Coffee

    | SC, USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (It’s the week before finals, and my sister and I are both feeling the stress. We end up driving out to the nearest coffee chain with an armload of homework. I’ve only been there twice, but my sister frequently refers to it as probably the nicest branch of this coffee chain ever, by which she always means the people there. We order our drinks and sit down on a little couch in the corner. We end up waiting for a really long time, and people who have ordered after us are getting their drinks before us. My sister looks up from her computer.)

    Sister: “This is very unusual for them.”

    (About 20 minutes later, the woman who took our orders hurries over with our drinks and gift cards, apologizing profusely. Evidently, the ticket had gotten lost or something like that.)

    Cashier: “I am so sorry about this! Just take these to any [Coffee Chain], and you’ll get a drink for free.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s all right; we weren’t waiting THAT long!”

    (My sister and I try to reassure her that we’re not upset. She starts to walk away, then stops. She looks at my sister and I quizzically.)

    Cashier: “Sorry, but… are you two twins?”

    Sister: “Yes, we are!”

    Cashier: “My husband is a twin. Was a twin. His sister died really recently and…” *she stops for a moment to compose herself* “And yesterday was the first time he’s had to celebrate his birthday without her.”

    (My sister and I both express our sympathy and condolences, and she kind of laughs.)

    Cashier: “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this.”

    Me: “Maybe that’s why the drinks were delayed; because you needed someone to talk to.”

    (Maybe it was an odd statement, but I really felt that if the drinks were on time, she wouldn’t have been able to talk to us about being a twin and losing a twin. Ma’am, I hope you and your husband are doing better now, wherever you are. Thank you for the gift cards!)

    Read Your Food For Thoughts

    | Somerset, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

    (I work Saturdays at a local pub and it tends to be a very quiet shift. The chef comes up to the bar to check the evening’s reservations just as a customer is ordering.)

    Customer: “Can I have the ham and tomato baguette, but no tomato?”

    (I look to the chef and he nods.)

    Me: “Certainly.” *hits button for ham and tomato baguette* “What table was that?”

    Customer: “Table six.”

    (The chef leaves, giving me a thumbs up so I know he knows what to do.)

    Me: “Okay that’s [price].”

    Customer: *handing over the money* “Don’t you have to write a note?”

    Me: “A note?”

    Customer: “On the till, don’t you have to write a note letting the chef know?”

    Me: *hands them their change* “No, he already knows.”

    Customer: “How? Is he psychic?”

    Me: “He was the guy that was just up here. He heard you.”

    Customer: *walking away, muttering* “More fun when I thought he was psychic.”

    Common Sense Just Melts Away

    | Charleston, SC, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (A small crowd has suddenly formed in the store, so I jump on the line to help my coworker with the sandwiches. She’s already started one and tells me the customer wants a chicken bacon ranch. I make the sandwich right in front of the customer. After heating up all the meats, I have her tell me what kind of veggies she wants on it. When the last veggie is put on, this happens:)

    Customer: “And tomatoes… but I wanted a melt, not a chicken bacon ranch.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I told the other girl I wanted a melt.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’ll make you a new sandwich, but why didn’t you say anything for the last two minutes? You could see it wasn’t a melt, right?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I knew it wasn’t a melt. I thought you were going to figure out it wasn’t one either.”


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