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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    The Cake Order Is A Lie

    | Hamilton, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (As in many establishments, whenever we answer the phone we always answer with the name of our store, and our location.)

    Me: “[Restaurant], Hamilton. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I ordered a cake from you guys and I’m supposed to pick it up tomorrow. I want some information changed with the writing on the cake.”

    Me: “Okay, could you please give me your information so I can find your order sheet.”

    (Customer proceeds to give me his information. We are an extremely small store and so any cake order is simply posted on a cork-board and easy to find. I cannot find his order and I start feeling anxious.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t seem to be able to locate your order sheet.”

    (The customer starts getting very angry, calling us incompetent and that he specifically remembers placing this order, etc. I’m trying hard to keep it together because I am not used to people talking to me in the way this customer is. I try to see what I can do.)

    Me: “Sir, if you wouldn’t mind calling me back in ten minutes, I’m going to look through the whole store to see if I can find your cake order.”

    Customer: “You do that!”

    (He hangs up. We have two freezers: one in the front of the store and one in the back. None of the cake orders match his description. I wait for his call back with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I answer the phone, again with the name of the store and location.)

    Me: “[Restaurant], Hamilton. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *angrily* “Well? Did you find it?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I couldn’t.”

    Customer: “Well you’d better fix this because this is all your fault and you’re going to ruin my mother’s birthday and I’m coming in tomorrow and it better be done! I can’t believe this. Do you even understand how irresponsible you are? How would you feel if someone f***ed up your order?!”

    Me: “I would be upset as well, sir. I understand your anger.”

    Customer: *condescendingly* “Well, that’s real diplomatic of you, kid.”

    (He gives me his order again, then hangs up the phone. I’m really upset now and shaky, and I should have done this before, but I page my manager. When she calls me back, I tearfully explain the whole situation and she’s thoroughly angry at this guy. She has me call the only two other locations we have to check if they have the cake order, which they didn’t.)

    Manager: “Wait a minute. Just humour me and call [Famous Ice Cream Chain] and see if they have his cake order.”

    (Dubiously, I call the store. Please note, the names of our stores sound NOTHING ALIKE.)

    Other Store: “How can I help you?

    Me: “Hi, I’m calling from [Restaurant]. I just got a call from angry customer about his cake order. Do you happen to have [Customer]’s cake order?”

    Other Store: “Yup. We sure do!”

    Me: “Oh, my god, I’m so mad. I’m going to call you back.”

    (I hang up and then call my manager.)

    Me: “He totally ordered the cake from the other store!

    Manager: “I knew it! And you answered the phone with our store name, right?”

    Me: “Of course. Twice!”

    Manager: “Okay, this is what you’re going to do. Call the store back, tell them to make the changes, and tell them to add this note. ‘Dear, sir, we have made the necessary changes to the cake as you have requested, DESPITE the fact that you called the wrong store multiple times, and we’re extremely rude to an employee of [Restaurant]. You are never to call [Restaurant] and order a cake from us. Sincerely, [Restaurant].”

    (I called the other store, explained the situation, and I dictated the note to them, which they wrote down gleefully. I never found out if they actually gave the note with the cake but we never got a call from him again. Would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when he picked up his cake!)

    Should Have Put A Lid On It

    , | FL, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (The customer enters the restaurant and looks confused. I take his order and notice he often mumbles words to himself. Once he is done ordering I hand him his cups which he goes to fill up and once he comes back, I notice he has a lid on only one cup.)

    Me: “Sir, do you need a lid for that second drink?”

    Customer: *thinks for a moment* “Nah, I already blew my lid this morning.” *walks away*

    That One Is A Bad Egg

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I recently started working at a local grocery store as a cashier. One of my duties is to inspect eggs to make sure they haven’t broken in their carton before the customer buys them. I do this as a woman is unloading the rest of her groceries. I pick one up delicately with my recently-washed fingers because I thought I saw a crack running to the bottom. The woman mutters something about needing to get more eggs and disappears. I think nothing of it until she comes back and hands me the new eggs. I open the carton to check them.)

    Woman: “I already checked them! You don’t have to do that!”

    Me: “Sorry, miss. Force of habit.”

    Woman: “Well, stop it! That’s the whole reason I went back to get another carton! I don’t like people manhandling my eggs!”

    (I become very embarrassed because I have impaired hearing in the ear that was facing her and realize I didn’t hear her asking me to not touch the eggs with my hands.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry, miss! I didn’t hear you. It’s policy for me to check—”

    Woman: “No! No one has EVER done that to me before! Where is your manager? This is unacceptable! I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOU MANHANDLING MY EGGS!”

    (She thrusts the first carton of eggs at me and instructs me to get rid of them. I finish the transaction as quickly as possible, apologizing profusely as I go, but nothing placates the customer and she continues to rant about how I’m “clueless” and “no one has ever manhandling her eggs like that before.” She leaves in a huff and my next customer comes forward. He gives me a good-natured grin.)

    Next Customer: “You can manhandle my groceries anyway you want!”

    (Two Can) Play At That Game

    | Boston, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (This guy comes in roughly every other day, and buys one can of cat food at a time.)

    Customer: “Do you have any more [Brand] cat food?”

    Me: “There’s none on the shelf?”

    Customer: “No, I just want the new ones.”

    (I look at the delivery that just came in, and see the cans he want are on the very BOTTOM of a stack of about 15 cases.)

    Me: “I am NOT moving all of those cases for one can.”

    Customer: “Fine, I’ll buy four.”

    (I move all the cases, causing a landslide in the process.)

    Customer: “Never mind, I’ll just get two cans.”

    Going To Get Charged With Nine Months

    | CT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I work in this small grocery store and we don’t get many customers until one day…)

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello, could you help me with my stuff.”

    (The lady has a large stomach.)

    Me: “Sure, ma’am.”

    (I help her, but she slips a bit and I see a watermelon sticking out a bit from her shirt.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to remove the watermelon from your shirt.”

    Customer: “WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU DISRESPECTFUL B****?! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M PREGNANT?!”

    Me: “I can see it slipping from your shirt…”

    (At this point the customer started running away, but fell over herself. The watermelon splattered everywhere and she kept screaming MY BABY! MY POOR BABY! but realized it was useless and she was caught. That really made my day.)

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