Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
    (1,939 thumbs up)
  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Just Another Crappy Day At Work

    | Golden, CO, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work in the bakery, and a customer came in with a ‘unique’ request for a birthday cake order.)

    Customer: “…so I need this cake to resemble a big dog turd. Can you guys do that?”

    Me: “Don’t worry, sir; our decorator will make sure your cake looks like crap!”

    Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 3

    | UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

    (On the particular day the dairy fridge has broken down AND we have quite a lot of stock with a ‘best before’ sticker for that day. So I decide to reduce all that stock lower than I usually would just to get rid of it.)

    Customer: “I would like to speak to the manager, please.”

    Me: “That would be me. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I bought this cream AND this cake today. I poured the cream over the cake for my family only to find it was off. So it ruined the cake. I want a refund for both.”

    (She hands me a receipt which shows that both items had been reduced quite heavily. I apologize profusely while trying to explain that we were sure the dairy fridge breakdown didn’t damage anything.)

    Me: “And that’s all done for you! Here is your refund of £1.”

    (The customer holds the £1 coin in her hand and looks slightly confused.)

    Customer: “I wanted a refund.”

    Me: “…and I gave you one. According to the receipt you gave me you only paid £1 total for those products.”

    Customer: “But it was bad. Surely you should give me a refund of the full price.”

    Me: “Do you sell things on eBay?”

    Customer: *taken aback* “How is that relevant?”

    Me: “Indulge me.”

    Customer: “Yes. I sold my husband’s PS3 last week.”

    Me: “Okay, so let’s say I bought your husband’s PS3 for £100. But when I connected it to my TV it didn’t work and I insisted that I get a refund. Do I ask for the £100 I paid you or the £400 you probably bought it for?”

    (Somehow this confused her even more. She decided I made a valid point and left the shop in an almost dream-like state. We never saw this customer again and we still don’t know to this day if she was attempting a scam, or just a little dim.)

    Related:
    Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2
    Not The Cream Of The Crop

    Giving You A Heart Attack With A Heart Attack

    , | Dayton, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive through with the manager.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [Store]. Would you like to try [new sandwich]?”

    Customer: “OH, MY GOD! ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?!”

    (I jumped, scared by the customer’s volume. Meanwhile, my manager was laughing, as she recognized her boyfriend in the drive-through. The rest of the order went smoothly.)

    Playing (Hunger) Games With Your Orders

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (I work at a coffee shop on my university campus. This happens way more often than it should, especially if my friends drop by when I’m working:)

    Me: “All right, one regular soy mocha latte. Can I get a name for the order?”

    Customer: “Primrose Everdeen.”

    (A few minutes later:)

    Coworker: “Okay, regular soy mocha latte for…” *he reads the name on the cup* “…aww, Christ. Primrose Everdeen?

    Customer’s Friend: *at the top of her lungs* “I VOLUNTEER!”

    Coworker: “You guys realise that stopped being funny last year, right?”

    And To Top It All Off…

    | ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a pizzeria as a take-out girl, meaning I take phone calls for customers and input what they want into the computer. I’m in the middle of an order.)

    Customer: “I’d like two extra large pizzas, one with pepperoni and cheese, and one with pepperoni, cheese, onions and bacon.”

    Me: “Okay! That’ll be [price].”

    (We don’t count cheese as a topping you have to pay for unless you get double cheese… so two toppings and cheese is the standard price on the menu and anything after that is extra.)

    Customer: “No! You charged it wrong. It should be [standard price].”

    Me: “Well… you got three items on the second pizza… and—”

    Customer: “and… I only got one topping on the first one! I should get [standard price]!”

    Me: “It doesn’t work like that, I’m afraid.”

    Customer: “It should! Get me you manager!”

    Me: “All right…”

    (I put my manager on the phone, after five minutes of explaining he hangs up.)

    Me: “How’d it go, [Manager]?”

    Manager: “Well… apparently we’re all stupid scam artists who make terrible pizza… She said to either give her the price or hang up. Guess which I picked?”

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