Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Casting The First Stone Cold Glare
    (1,814 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Half Agreeing To Half And Half

    | Seaside, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

    (I am joining my family for dinner when I overhear this exchange between my mother and our waiter:)

    Mom: “Can I have a cappuccino?”

    Waiter: “I am sorry, We do not have any.”

    Mom: “Do you have any green tea?”

    Waiter: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Mom: “Can I have that with vanilla?”

    Waiter: “We do not have any vanilla.”

    Mom: “Nothing vanilla.”

    Waiter: “Vanilla vodka.”

    Mom: “Peppermint? Gingerbread?”

    Waiter: “We do not have any flavorings.”

    Mom: “Any [Flavored Creamers]?”

    Waiter: “We have half and half.”

    Mom: “See, I did not want half and half.”

    (My father breaks his silence and speaks up and says to the waiter.)

    Dad: “Just say yes to whatever she says and bring her half and half.”

    Mom: “That works for me.”

    Hot On The Cent

    | Rio Grande, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (We sell candy 10 for 1$, which equals 10 cents each. A lady walks up with her husband and child. I start ringing them up and the customer tosses a bag of candy onto my register.)

    Customer: “I do not know how many is in there.”

    Me: “Okay, I will finish ringing your items and count these last.”

    Customer: “Good.”

    (I am just about done when I dump out the bag of candy and start counting.)

    Me: “Okay, you have 34 pieces of candy which will be 3 dollars and 40 cents for the candy.”

    Customer: “Wait, it said 10 for a dollar. Should i go get more?”

    Me: “That is entirely up to you as they are still 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

    Customer: “But it says 10 for a dollar. I WANT THAT PRICE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you are getting that price. It’s 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

    Customer: “BUT I WANT 10 FOR A DOLLAR!”

    Me: “Ma’am, what is 100 divided my 10?”

    Customer: “10, you stupid girl.”

    Me: “Okay. Well a dollar is 100 pennies and its ten pieces of candy for one dollar. Each piece of candy will be 10 cents. Therefore, you are getting the sale price.”

    (She then started screaming at me for making her seem like an idiot in front of her family. She then threw her credit card at me and stormed out of the store. Her husband stayed behind to apologize and say thank you for putting up with her.)

    Got It White The First Time

    | New Orleans, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I wait tables at a coffee shop that specializes in cafe au lait. We mix the coffee and milk before serving it to the customer. An elderly couple comes in about four times a week.)

    Customer: “Now I want my coffee a little on the light side. A LITTLE light, understand?”

    (She always says this.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    (I fix the coffee with just a little extra milk.)

    Customer: “I said a LITTLE light. This is all milk. Fix me another one.”

    (I fix a second cup, a little darker, and bring it to her table.)

    Customer: “Now this is way too dark. Try to get it right, would you?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    (I fix a third cup, medium colored.)

    Customer: “I don’t understand what’s the matter with you people. I want my coffee a LITTLE light. Bring this back. A little light, you understand?”

    Me: “You got it.”

    (With a big silly smile on my face, I bring her coffee for the fourth time.)

    Customer: “Now THIS is what I wanted! Why can’t you get it right the first time?”

    Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am. I’ll try next time.”

    Customer: “Yes, you do that.”

    (After she had sent back her first coffee, I put the cup on the warmer. I served her that same coffee on attempt number four. The entire wait staff has been doing this for years now.)

    Don’t Do The Crime If You Can’t Tell The Time

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Money

    (My store has a grocery section, including an aisle of wine and beer. Since, in my state, alcohol cannot be sold before noon on Sundays, during that time the aisle is roped off. A customer comes up to my till at 10 on a Sunday, carrying bottles of wine.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I won’t be able to sell these to you before noon.”

    Customer: “What?! Why?”

    Me: “It’s state law. Alcohol can’t be sold before noon on Sundays.”

    Customer: “But I have to have these for a lunch party! It’s starting soon, and I said I’d bring the wine!”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but I can’t sell these now. It’s illegal and my register will reject it if I try to ring it up.”

    Customer: “Don’t you understand? I NEED THESE. I will look like a FOOL if I show up at the party without any wine.”

    Me: “That’s… not really something I’m able to help with. I can’t break the law for that.”

    Customer: “What law? I just want you to sell me wine!”

    Me: “Texas state law forbids the sale of alcohol before noon on a Sunday. If you’d like, you can come back after noon and buy the wine then.”

    Customer: *suddenly calm* “Fine. I’ll come back later and pay for these then.”

    (She then picks up the bottles and starts walking towards the door with them. I call security.)

    Security: “Ma’am, you can’t take those without having paid for them.”

    Customer: “But she won’t let me pay for them!”

    Security: “Alcohol can’t be sold before noon. That doesn’t mean you get to walk out with it.”

    Customer: “But I was going to come back and pay for it later!”

    Some Customers Are Thicker Than Others

    , | Wichita, KS, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

    (It is my third shift at my first job. I have been mostly getting complicated/difficult orders, and I’ve had no real training; they threw me into the chaos and expected me to figure it out as I went. So far I had been managing, but only barely. An elderly customer  approaches the counter.)

    Me: *smiling brightly* “Hi there, ma’am. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’d like a half pound of [specific cheese] sliced as thick as your slicer will go.”

    Me: “That’s half a pound of [specific cheese] on the thickest setting, right? Coming right up!”

    (I am incredibly relieved as I get the cheese she wanted and get it on the slicer. This is the easiest order I’ve had all day and I can’t see how it could possibly go wrong. I bag the cheese and hand it over the counter to her.)

    Customer: “No, this is wrong.” *hands it back*

    Me: “I’m sorry. What’s wrong with it?”

    Customer: “That’s not how thick I wanted it. That’s not thick enough!”

    Me: *bewildered* “I’m sorry, ma’am. You asked for the thickest setting on the slicer, and that’s as thick as it will cut things.”

    Customer: “No, it isn’t! I get it cut thicker all the time! It should be one block. ONE. BLOCK.”

    Me: “Uh, I’m terribly sorry about that. I’ll fix this.”

    (I go get one of the knives and proceed to cut about half a pound off the block of cheese and bag that for her.)

    Me: “Here you are. I’m really sorry about—”

    Customer: “NO! NO! YOU HAVE TO CUT IT ON THE SLICER!” *throws the block back over the counter*

    Me: “I…I…Ma’am, I’m really sorry, but the slicer won’t—”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me! Don’t you lie to me! I want my cheese cut that thick on the SLICER!”

    (I begin looking around frantically for a coworker, but my shift supervisor, who had been there only moments ago, has conveniently disappeared, and my only other coworker is dealing with a long line of customers at the hot bar.)

    Coworker: *calling across the deli to me* “[My Name], go cut it on the ‘special slicer’ in the back. I guess [Shift Supervisor] forgot to show it to you. It’s by the prep table back there.”

    (I’m confused but take the cheese back. The only thing by the prep table are the sinks, but then I see clean knives on it and realize that I just need to cut the block with a knife where the customer can’t see me doing it, so I hurriedly do so and rush back to the front.)

    Me: *handing the new block over* “I’m really sorry about that, ma’am. I just started and no one told me about that slicer.”

    Customer: *snatching the cheese* “Hmph. Well, you should have known. Next time don’t be so stupid.” *storms off*

    (This coworker saved me on several other occasions when customers were being exceedingly difficult, though the ‘special slicer’ remains the most amusing to me.)


    Page 4/240First...23456...Last