Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Any Given Sundae

, | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(It’s one of the hottest days of the year so far and I’m working drive-thru rush by myself. Unfortunately the shake/sundae machine is broken and so we can’t make shakes, sundaes, or ice-creams. There are signs throughout the drive-thru and store saying that the ‘shake/sundae machine is broken,’ including on the speaker box. The line of cars is ridiculously long.)

Me: *over headset* “Hi, this is [Restaurant]. Can I please take your order?”

Car: *quite pleasantly* “Two soft serve cones, please.”

Me: “I’m so sorry sir, but we currently can’t make ice-creams as the machine is broken, as it says on the sign—”

Car: *getting angry* “Excuse me; it says the shake/sundae is broken, not the ice cream machine!”

Me: “I apologize sir, but the sundae machine is where we get ice cream fr—”

Car: *now shouting* “This is bloody ridiculous!”

Me: “I can offer you smoothies, cold drinks, or slushies, though, if that interests you—”

Car: *still shouting* “No! And now I’m stuck in this bloody queue!”

(As this goes on everyone else wearing headsets is staring at me bewildered. I run around preparing the next few orders for drive-thru, when my manager walks up, putting on a headset. I can still hear the ice-cream car’s engine at the speaker box, as no cars have moved yet.)

Manager: “[My Name], why is this car still waiting?”

Me: “Oh, the guy in the car—”

Manager: “You’ve got to move faster!” *turns on microphone* “Hello? Can I take your order?”

Me: “No, you don’t understand—”

(My manager stares at me angrily.)

Manager: “Are you there? Can I take your order?”

Car: “Ah, SHUT UP!”

(Everyone wearing a headset burst out laughing and I could finally get the first order (the one that’s been holding us up) out the window. The rest of the cars ran through smoothly and were quite nice despite the delay and the heat. Eventually the ice-cream car drove through, and the rude man in the front seat must have been at least 70 with a very embarrassed wife! I gave them both a cheery wave as they went past the window.)

Just Another Crappy Day At Work

| Golden, CO, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work in the bakery, and a customer came in with a ‘unique’ request for a birthday cake order.)

Customer: “…so I need this cake to resemble a big dog turd. Can you guys do that?”

Me: “Don’t worry, sir; our decorator will make sure your cake looks like crap!”

Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 3

| UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Money

(On the particular day the dairy fridge has broken down AND we have quite a lot of stock with a ‘best before’ sticker for that day. So I decide to reduce all that stock lower than I usually would just to get rid of it.)

Customer: “I would like to speak to the manager, please.”

Me: “That would be me. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought this cream AND this cake today. I poured the cream over the cake for my family only to find it was off. So it ruined the cake. I want a refund for both.”

(She hands me a receipt which shows that both items had been reduced quite heavily. I apologize profusely while trying to explain that we were sure the dairy fridge breakdown didn’t damage anything.)

Me: “And that’s all done for you! Here is your refund of £1.”

(The customer holds the £1 coin in her hand and looks slightly confused.)

Customer: “I wanted a refund.”

Me: “…and I gave you one. According to the receipt you gave me you only paid £1 total for those products.”

Customer: “But it was bad. Surely you should give me a refund of the full price.”

Me: “Do you sell things on eBay?”

Customer: *taken aback* “How is that relevant?”

Me: “Indulge me.”

Customer: “Yes. I sold my husband’s PS3 last week.”

Me: “Okay, so let’s say I bought your husband’s PS3 for £100. But when I connected it to my TV it didn’t work and I insisted that I get a refund. Do I ask for the £100 I paid you or the £400 you probably bought it for?”

(Somehow this confused her even more. She decided I made a valid point and left the shop in an almost dream-like state. We never saw this customer again and we still don’t know to this day if she was attempting a scam, or just a little dim.)

Related:
Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2
Not The Cream Of The Crop

Giving You A Heart Attack With A Heart Attack

, | Dayton, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I am working the drive through with the manager.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Store]. Would you like to try [new sandwich]?”

Customer: “OH, MY GOD! ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?!”

(I jumped, scared by the customer’s volume. Meanwhile, my manager was laughing, as she recognized her boyfriend in the drive-through. The rest of the order went smoothly.)

Playing (Hunger) Games With Your Orders

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

(I work at a coffee shop on my university campus. This happens way more often than it should, especially if my friends drop by when I’m working:)

Me: “All right, one regular soy mocha latte. Can I get a name for the order?”

Customer: “Primrose Everdeen.”

(A few minutes later:)

Coworker: “Okay, regular soy mocha latte for…” *he reads the name on the cup* “…aww, Christ. Primrose Everdeen?

Customer’s Friend: *at the top of her lungs* “I VOLUNTEER!”

Coworker: “You guys realise that stopped being funny last year, right?”

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