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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Driving Through Adequate Fraud Prevention

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer walks up to the till. I’m watching the conversation from the kitchen nearby.)

    Customer: *to the cashier* “Could I speak to your manager, please?”

    Manager: *hearing her* “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I just came through the drive-thru a few minutes ago, and you forgot my two angus burgers.”

    Manager: “I very much doubt that.”

    (The manager points out the window, where the entire drive-thru and much of the parking lot have been torn up and blocked off for reconstruction. The sound of power tools can be heard even inside the restaurant.)

    Customer: “Um…” *stammers a bit before scurrying out of the store*

    The Final Cherry On Top

    | Interlochen, MI, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I work at the retail store of an arts camp. Since the campus is about a half hour away from the annual Cherry Festival, we sell a number of cherry products. One of these was a bottle of cherry concentrate. It is about $20 for a 12 oz bottle. Being concentrate, not juice, you don’t drink it by itself. You take about a teaspoon of it and add it to water to make it into juice. Most people, though, think that it is just normal juice and so it doesn’t really sell well.)

    Camper #1: “What is this? Juice? Geez! Why would anyone buy juice for $20?”

    Camper #2: “THAT’S NOT JUICE!”

    Camper #1: “What? Isn’t it?”

    Camper #2: “NO! THAT IS CONCENTRATE! IF YOU DRINK IT BY ITSELF YOU WILL POOP FOREVER!”

    Got Him Out Of A Pickle

    | AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (It is nearing the end of my shift and I am busy with cleaning the lobby since I have no customers. A girl’s volleyball team from one of the local schools enters and I wait on them. When they sit at their tables, they begin getting quite loud and obnoxious, deliberately spilling their meals everywhere, and some even throwing pickles at the window and seeing if they could really race them as they slid down, like in the movie ‘Billy Madison.’ While they are getting ready to leave, I am getting the mop bucket and such ready to clean up the mess straight away. The coach of the volleyball team stops me.)

    Coach: “Give me those.”

    Me: “Oh, no, sir. It’s quite all right. This is just part of my job.”

    Coach: “I understand that, but my girls were very irresponsible tonight. I need to teach them this kind of behavior is not acceptable.”

    (In a surprised daze, I give all my cleaning supplies over to the man and he gathers up all the girls.)

    Coach: *to his team* “You think this kind of behavior is funny? That you can just come in here, make complete fools of yourself, trash the place up, and just leave? I expected better from all of you. I hope you all have as much fun doing this young man’s job for him as you had making this mess.”

    (The coach forced his entire team to clean up the mess, from sweeping to mopping to cleaning off the windows, until the entire lobby was clean. The entire time he watched with a look of disappointment. I applauded the man for taking amazing action with teaching a lesson above and beyond a spot.)

    One Large Popcorn, Extra Salty

    | Aldershot, England, UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I am working the concessions counter for the evening. It’s been a hectic shift when two customers in their 20s approach me.)

    Me: “How can I help today?”

    Male Customer: “Hey, yeah, can we get a large popcorn and a small popcorn? And uh, can you do us a favour? This is going to sound really weird…”

    Me: “Go for it!”

    Male Customer: “Well, uh. My friend and I have been playing jokes on each other for a while, and I was wondering if you could help out?”

    Me: “Uh… yeah, sure.”

    Male Customer: “Great! Could you uh, put this in the small popcorn and cover it with the popcorn so my friend cant see it?”

    (The female customer pulls out a rather large adult toy from her handbag and hands it to me as discreetly as possible – at this point I couldn’t help but laugh or deal with the customer by myself.)

    Me: “Hey, uh, [Coworker], do you think this will fit in a small popcorn bag?”

    (My coworker walks over looking mortified.)

    Coworker: “If you want to successfully hide that, I would really suggest a large popcorn.”

    Male Customer: “Okay! Change the small to a large please!”

    (I took the object behind the counter so no one could see and filled up the bag as requested and processed their order.)

    Woman Customer: “I’m really sorry. They’ve been doing this for a while now.”

    Me: *still laughing at this point* “No, no, it’s okay. This is probably the best thing to happen whilst working here. I hope it turns out all right!”

    (After they left my coworker and I had to take a moment to stop laughing and then we had to tell other coworkers and supervisors about it. To this day, I still don’t know if it was against policy or if a manager saw, but those two customers made that shift so much better!)

    A Dual Personality

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello! How are you? What can I get you?”

    Customer: “Hey! Can I get a margarita?”

    Me: “Sure, would you like that dressed?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Awesome! Would you like salt or sugar?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…Umm. Which one?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “…I got that. But with what?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Right… So, I don’t think you’re listening to me… Salt. Or sugar. Or even maybe both. Which option?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    (I go get the salt and sugar shakers.)

    Me: “Okay. Salt-” *I wave the salt shaker* “-or sugar?” *I wave the sugar shaker* “Or perhaps both?” *I wave them both*

    Customer: “Yes! Yes!”

    Me: “Yes to what?!”

    Customer: “I said yes already! Yes!”

    Me: “Right… That’ll be $7.”

    (I did both. She never came back to complain, to my knowledge, so I suppose I guessed correctly?)

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