October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!


| Sterling Heights, MI, USA | Food & Drink

(I am ordering fries and a drink. I am in front of an older lady, who also orders fries in her meal.)

Cashier: “Hi, what can I get you?

Me: “Hi, I’ll have a medium fry and a mocha frappe.”

(I finish my order, for here, and step aside to wait for my order to be completed.)

Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a quarter pounder meal. Make it large, please.”

(She also finishes her order and steps aside next to me to wait for her food. There are three trays waiting to be filled when an employee places a medium fry on my tray. After a few moments the lady takes a couple fries from my tray, not realizing whose order they are from. Trying not to be rude, I don’t step in right away. An employee then places a quarter pounder and large fries on her tray. The lady suddenly realizes her mistake.)

Customer: “Oh, my, is this yours?”

Me: “Um, yeah I think so.”

Customer: “We’ll, why didn’t you say something?! Here, take my large fries since I just ate out of yours. I am so sorry!”

(She switches our fries before I can even respond.)

Me: “Oh, thank you.”

Customer: “No, I’m the one who ate your fries!”

Having A Brain Freeze

| AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We are an ice cream shop but we have a selection of frozen yogurt and lactose-free ice cream as well.)

Customer: “What’s the difference between ice cream and frozen yogurt?”

Me: “Well, ice cream uses a heavy cream base while frozen yogurt uses a yogurt base.”

Customer: “So the frozen yogurt is actually yogurt?”

Try To Turn That Frown Upside Down

| AB, Canada | Food & Drink, Love/Romance

(It’s Valentine’s Day, and we offer heart shaped pizzas on this day, so you can probably imagine how busy it is. I am on phones and I didn’t leave my spot the whole night because the phone was ringing non-stop.)

Me: “[Restaurant], [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, so I got this f****** heart shaped pizza and it doesn’t even look like a heart. It looks like a distorted spade. It looks mushed-up and gross. And it took way too long! Two and a half hours for a pizza!”

(The wait time for delivery has been up to 3 hours and 45 minutes.)

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. We can send you another or give you a voucher.”

Customer: “No, I don’t ever want to ever f***ing order from here again. It doesn’t even look like a heart! It’s a frigging spade! I’m taking pictures and posting it online!”

Me: “Have you tried flipping this pizza around?”

Customer: “Mhmph.” *shuffling of box noise* “Okay, you got me on that! But this is unacceptable! Let me talk to your manager!”

Not Making The Organic Choice

USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work at a small local cookie store. In addition to cookies, we sell local ice cream. Our store is across the street from a chain restaurant popular with tourists. It’s been an unusually busy day, so we run out of vanilla ice cream and are serving a supermarket brand. We still have a couple other flavors from the usual supplier. A boy, who’s probably about ten years old, comes in by himself.)

Me: “Welcome to [Store]. How can I help you?”

Boy: “My family’s eating dinner across the street, and I’m trying to convince them to come here. Is this a family owned business or a chain?

Me: “We’re a family business, and this is the only store.”

Boy: “My mom only eats at locally owned, organic, healthy restaurants. She’s doesn’t let me buy any dessert without checking it first.”

(He leaves, and comes back a little while later with his family. They order their cookies first and then examine the ice cream flavors.)

Mom: “Is that [Supermarket Brand] ice cream?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we’ve had a lot of large orders today, so we have to sell supermarket vanilla. But we have three other flavors that are all from a local creamery, made with organic, super-premium ingredients and fresh fruit.”

Mom: “No, no, no! Just give us the supermarket brand. That sounds much better.”

A-Salt-ed By Stupidity

GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I manage a large fast food chain that uses sea salt on their French fries. A customer orders her fries with no salt.)

Me: *handing her order to her* “Here’s your order. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “There’s no salt on these fries, right? I hope so. I’m allergic to salt!”

Me: *staring blankly* “Ma’am, do you want me to remake your burger then? We salt the patties. In fact, there is salt on everything that goes on your sandwich.”

Customer: “No. I’m only allergic to sea salt.”

Me: “You do realize that they’re both just sodium chloride, right? In fact, table salt has iodine added and is usually bleached, so if you had an allergy it would be more apt to be…”

Customer: *cutting me off* “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t have! You don’t know what you’re talking about!” *grabs ketchup packets and storms out*

Me: *I grab a ketchup pack and begin reading packet ingredients to a coworker* “…tomato paste… corn syrup… sea salt… Huh, would you look at that. They put sea salt in the ketchup.”

Coworker: “Yeah, do you know what the clinical term is for someone who is allergic to salt?”

Me: “What’s that?”

Coworker: “Dead.”

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