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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Buffalos In The Mist

    | Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “I’m looking for some cheese, but I can’t remember what it’s called.”

    Me: “Well, we carry over 100 different kinds of cheese. Is there anything that you know about it?”

    Customer: “It’s a type of Parmesan cheese, and I think it was made from gorilla milk.”

    Me: “Gorilla? Uh, do you mean buffalo?”

    Customer: “They’re the same thing!”

    Acting Disorderly

    | Madison, WI, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Are you ready to order?”

    Customer: “No, we’re not ready to order yet.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll come back later.”

    (I start to walk away.)

    Customer: “Hey! Aren’t you going to ask us what we want to eat?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you said you didn’t want me to take your order yet.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t really care what order you ask us in. I just want my food!”

    Telling Porkies

    | Wollongong, NSW, Australia | Food & Drink

    (A family sits at a table in a restaurant specializing in steak dishes.)

    Me: “Hi guys, welcome to [restaurant]. Let me just tell you about today’s special, the prime rib with–”

    Customer: “We don’t need to hear this. Just stop.”

    Me:”So, you already know about the special? Great! Would you like to start with any–”

    Customer: “No! We’re vegetarians!”

    Me: “Oh, alright, well we have a few vegetarian dishes on this–”

    Customer: “No! Listen, we know what we want already.”

    Me: “Okay, great. Go ahead.”

    Customer: “Finally! The kids will have the chicken nuggets, my husband will have the chicken burger, and I’ll have the chicken strip salad.”

    Me: “Sure. Anything else?”

    Husband: “I’ll have extra bacon on the burger.”

    Obviously Not A People Person

    | New York City, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (We have booths at which we can only seat groups of 3 or more. There is a couple with their young child sitting in one. A couple came in and I went to seat them.)

    Me: “Hi, are you here to eat, or are you just having some drinks?”

    Customer: “Eating, can we take a booth?”

    Me: “Sorry, but we need to save them for groups of three or more.”

    Customer: “What about them?” *motions at the couple with their child*

    Me: “They have 3 people sitting there.”

    Customer: “What? Babies aren’t people!”

    Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 3

    | Knoxville, TN, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    Customer: *places foil wrapped ham on counter* “I ordered a spiral sliced ham and you gave me a turkey!”

    Me: “Okay, let me just see the turkey.” *I open the foil and see that it is definitely a ham* “Ma’am, this is a ham.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. That is a turkey! I think I know what ham looks like.”

    Me: “Can you see the bone and the pinkish color? The turkey is boneless and white.”

    Customer: “I know what a ham looks like and that is a turkey!”

    Me: “I assure you it’s a ham. Would you like to sample it?”

    (She samples the ham and looks flustered.)

    Customer: “Oh just give me whatever the h*** that thing is!”

    Related:
    Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 2
    Not To La-Boar The Point

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