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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Tea Drag

    | Weston, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I’m waiting to pick up my friend from her shift, when a customer comments on her.)

    Customer: “There’s something strange about that lady over there.”

    Me: “She’s a wonderful tea-brewer.”

    Customer: “Well, there’s something strange about her appearance.”

    Me: “Oh, she gets a lot of questions about that. That’s because she was originally born a man.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “As in, she’s a transsexual.”

    Customer: “Oh! Does she sing?”

    In A (Lone Star) Drunken State

    | Texas, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi there! Welcome to [store name]. Is there anything I can help you find today?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you sell wine?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. We don’t sell alcohol.”

    Customer: “But…but this is Texas!”

    A Fowl Plot

    | Sydney, Australia | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Excuse me, these “Wicked Wings” you gave me are hot and spicy.”

    Me: “Yes, I know.”

    Customer: “Well I can’t eat anything that is spicy because of my health. You should have told me they were spicy.”

    Me: “Sorry sir, I assumed you’d known because that’s the only thing you ordered. I’ll give you a refund.”

    Customer: “No, that’s not good enough. You should have told me that they are spicy, it’s your responsibility.”

    Me: “I apologize.”

    Customer: “I thought it was made from the evil chickens or something.”

    Too Much Gravy For The Brain

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I’m a cook in a restaurant that many tourists visit.)

    Me: *to waitress* “So, how did everyone like their food?”

    Waitress: “The table complained that the meal contains too much sauce.”

    Me: “His order gets the sauce on the side.”

    Waitress: “Yeah, he complained that he added too much.”

    Deli-cate Situation

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    Me: “Hello, this is–”

    Caller: “Baby, what are you doing? Want to come over later?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: *laughs* “You heard me, baby.”

    Me: “Sir, I think you may have the wrong number. This is a deli.”

    Caller: “Woah, are you serious?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Caller: “I’m so sorry!”

    Me: “It’s okay.”

    Caller: “So…do you want to come over?

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