Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,671 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    One More Of These And I’ll Squit

    | Alberta, Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: “I’ll have the chicken salad.”

    Me: “Alright.”

    Customer: “Is there MSG in it?”

    Me: “There might be some in the dressing, I can check for you. Are you allergic?

    Customer: “No, it just gives me diarrhea.”

    Me: “Uh…ok?”

    Customer’s friend: “That’s too much information!”

    Customer: “No she needs to know. You need to know right?”

    *pause*

    Me: *nervous laughter* “Oh, absolutely.”

    Count-er Productive

    | Hershey, PA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work as a hostess at a restaurant in a busy tourist area. As a result, we are frequently on a wait.)

    Me: “Hi! How many today?”

    Customer: “Six please.”

    (Note, our biggest tables are meant for six.)

    Me: “Great! And how many children’s menus for you?”

    Customer: “I have a four year old, so only one.”

    Me: “Okay! Take a seat and I’ll call you when your table’s ready.”

    (Since we were especially busy, the party waited for about twenty minutes. When a table is finally available, I call them up. The six walk up, carrying two toddlers and pushing a baby carrier with an infant inside.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I thought you said there were six?”

    Customer: “There are only six that are going to eat! Wait, you mean my kids count?”

    Me: “There is not room for nine at that table. I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait longer.”

    Customer: *storming out* “I’m going to a place that doesn’t count my kids!”

    2 Guys, A Lie And A Burger Place

    | Sebastian, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (The customer points out an ad on our window asking customers to inquire on how to get a free burger.)

    Customer: “How do you get the free burger?”

    Me: “You call the number on the back of your receipt and after a short survey they give you a confirmation code.”

    Customer: “Yeah, my code is 6610. Now give me my free burger.”

    Me:“Sir, if you’re going to make up a fake code make sure you know how long the codes are.”

    I Now Pronounce You Employed

    | Michigan, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello sir, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hi, are you hiring?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is a family-run business. Is there something you wanted to eat?”

    Customer: “No. I wanted a job.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we cannot hire you. If you don’t want anything to eat, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. We are very busy today.”

    (The customer leaves, frustrated. Not 10 minutes later, he returns.)

    Me: “Hello again, do you want something to eat now?”

    (The customer gets down on one knee.)

    Customer: “Will you marry me?”

    Me: “Sir, please stand up.”

    (Whole shop applauds.)

    Customer: “Please? It’s my only hope of getting a job!”

    Bread And Prejudice

    | Ireland | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Religion

    Customer: “Can I have a ham and cheese sandwich please?”

    Me: “Would you like that on white or brown bread?”

    Customer: “I don’t mind. I’m not prejudiced.”

    Me: “You’re not… prejudiced?”

    Customer: “Not at all, sure the other day I ate some ‘properdoms’!” (That’s how she pronounced papadums – the flat crunchy bread you get in Indian restaurants.) “They were lovely.”

    Me: “Oh good. Now what type of bread would you like?”

    (At this point a woman of another ethnicity that had been served by my co-worker leaves. Suddenly, this customer becomes visibly relieved.)

    Customer: “Give me some good, God-fearing white bread!”

    Page 237/253First...235236237238239...Last