Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Motherly Advice To Mother
    (1,504 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Killing One Cold Bird With Two Stores

    | Melbourne, Australia | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Top

    Customer: *throws bag of food at me* “It’s f***ing cold! Your chicken is terrible and the bun is stale!”

    Me: “Uh, this is–”

    Customer: “No, shut up! You guys always f*** me over, you’re not getting away with it today!”

    Me: “You didn’t–”

    Customer: “Fine! Get your manager, if you won’t help me. Enjoy being fired, a**wipe!”

    Another customer: “You’re at [fast food outlet], mate. You bought your food from [rival store], next door.”

    Customer: “Oh.” *awkward silence* “Can I have that bag back?”

    Ordering Pizza, Talking Baloney

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a lunch lady at a high school, and one of the students there is going to be leaving for a trip to Italy soon.)

    Me: “What kind of pizza would you like?”

    Student: “One pepperoni, one cheese.”

    Me: “So are you excited to spend two months in Italy?”

    Student: “Yeah, but I’m really going to miss all the good food here at school. Especially pizza.”

    Me: “But you’ll be in Italy right? So you can have pizza there.”

    Student: “Yeah but it won’t be authentic pizza from America. It’ll just be cheap Italian knock-offs.”

    Related:
    Ordering Meatballs, Talking Baloney

    Takeout The Decision Making Process

    | Melbourne, Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m a new waiter and I’m alone during an afternoon shift when a customer calls.)

    Customer: “I’m [name]. I’d like to order my usual for takeaway.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m new. Could you tell me what you would like to order?”

    Customer: “My usual.”

    Me: “I don’t know what that is, sir.”

    Customer: “Just tell the kitchen that it’s for [name]. They’ll know what it is.”

    Me: “Okay, but just in case they don’t know, could you tell me what your usual is?”

    Customer: “Oh, they’ll know, I’m a regular.”

    (He hangs up. Fifteen minutes later a man turns up in the restaurant.)

    Customer: “I’m [name]. I ordered my usual over the phone.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, the kitchen staff don’t know what your usual is so they weren’t able to make it.”

    Customer: “But I’m a regular! They know who I am.”

    Me: “They don’t. They cook whatever we tell them to cook. They never interact with the customers. If you would like to tell me what your usual is I could place your order.”

    Customer: “Never mind.”

    (Customer leaves. Later, I tell the manager what happened. The manager laughs and says that that particular customer always orders his usual which is whatever dish the staff member chooses for him.)

    Give One, Get One Free

    | United Kingdom | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m waiting in line after ordering a cheeseburger. Another customer is being particularly annoying.)

    Server: “Your cheeseburger’s ready sir. That’ll be £2.80.”

    Me: *handing over money* “Thanks.”

    Other customer: “Hey! Why’s he getting his first? We were here first, that’s mine!”

    Server: “He ordered a cheeseburger. They’re quicker to make than double bacon burgers. Yours will be done in a minute.”

    Other customer: “I want that one! That one is mine!”

    (I nod to the server, and they hand the woman the burger.)

    Other customer: “This has got cheese in it! And no bacon! Are trying to rip me off?!”

    Server: “You said you wanted that one rather than what you ordered.”

    Other customer: “This is appalling! I’m going elsewhere. You can’t get your orders in the right order!” *slams cheese burger on van shelf then walks off*

    Server, to me: *smiling* “Would you like a free bacon burger with your cheeseburger?”

    History (Deep) Pans Out

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, History, Language & Words

    (A Native Canadian customer comes into the store with five small children.)

    Customer: “Why do the Deluxe and the Hawaiian pizza cost the same? One has more toppings!”

    Me: “To be honest, I’m not really sure. That’s just the way the company works, I guess.”

    Customer: “Well, can I get a discount for the Hawaiian, then? It has five less toppings!”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do that.”

    Customer: *long pause* “You’re a cruel person.”

    Me: “Come again?”

    Customer: “Your people come here, give diseases, kill us all, steal our land, put our children in residential schools, and now this!”

    Page 233/246First...231232233234235...Last