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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    A Customer You Would Prefer To Circumnavigate Around

    | Durham, NC, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (An employee calls me over to deal with someone who is angry that they can’t take their restaurant leftovers into the theater.)

    Customer: “Why can’t I bring this in? I’m not going to eat it or anything!”

    Me: “I’m sure you wouldn’t, but unfortunately it is a rule here that you can’t bring it in, and I can’t circumvent it.”

    Customer: “What the h*** does geometry have to do with my food?!”

    Throw In A Chilean For Some Kick

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (There is a customer in the refrigerated dairy section, looking lost.)

    Me: “Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: *grabs my arm* “Oh, yes! I’m looking for cheese.”

    Me: “Well, it would be in this aisle. What kind of cheese?”

    Customer: “You know, it’s white, and has little green flecks of Filipino.”

    Me: “Uhm, I don’t think we have that. Do you mean jalapeño?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s it!”

    Meaty Political Issues

    , | Michigan, USA | Food & Drink, Politics

    (One of the meats we offer is a barbecued shredded beef, which we refer to as Barbacoa.)

    Customer: “I’ll take a burrito with Barack Obama.”

    Me: “One burrito with barbacoa coming up.”

    Customer: “What’d you call it?”

    Me: “Barbacoa.”

    Customer: “Oh, thank God. I’m a Republican.”

    Babel-ing On

    | Chula Vista, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant] I’ll be your server this evening.”

    Customer: “Habla español?”

    Me: “No sir, I don’t.”

    Customer: “Italian?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Customer: “French?”

    Me: “Sorry, no.”

    Customer: “Well, then what language do you speak?”

    Flattery Is Fully Charged

    | Wilmington, DE, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello! I’m [name] and I’ll be your server today. Are you ready to order?”

    Customer: “No! You can’t serve me! You’re prettier than I am! You’re damaging my self-esteem!”

    Me: *pause* “Well, you can request another server, if you like?”

    Customer: “Yes! Get me another server. Someone less pretty!”

    (Another waitress comes out. She’s perfectly good-looking, but visibly older than the customer whereas I’m younger, so we figured that would be okay.)

    Waitress: “May I take your order, ma’am?”

    Customer: “No no no! I asked for someone who isn’t pretty! Doesn’t this place employ ugly people?!”

    (In the end, after deciding that even the male servers were far too good-looking, she left us feeling flattered, but very confused.)

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