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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Full Of Soda And Fury, Signifying Nothing

    | Wisconsin, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (I work at a fast food restaurant in a food court in a mall. Our kid meals come in “to go” bags, regardless if the order is to go, or not. A mother comes up to my register and orders two kids meals bags to go.)

    Me: “Here is your order. Do you want any sauces or ketchup?”

    Customer: “I said I wanted this to go.”

    (I look down at her order a bit confused.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. Did you want a cup carrier for the drinks?”

    Customer: “No, stupid! I want to have a to go bag for my food.”

    Me: “But your food is in bags.”

    Customer: “Just give me a d*** bag.”

    (I give the mother two of our biggest bags which are the same size as the kids meal bags.)

    Customer: “I only need one!”

    (The customer shoves the two kids meals into the one bag and crams the drinks in as well. To top it off, she rolls the tops of the bag down, further crushing the drinks. Then, she shoves the entire mess into her large purse.)

    Customer: “See! Look how much of an idiot you are!”

    (She walks away in a huff, with her purse dripping soda behind her.)

    Will That Be Paper Or Plastic

    , | Kildare, Ireland | Food & Drink, Money

    Customer: “Can I get a cheeseburger and a bottle of water?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s $3.70, please.”

    (The customer holds out five napkins and starts counting them. He then hands them to me as payment.)

    Me: “Sorry, do you have $3.70?”

    Customer: *points at napkins* “Yea, there! Look!”

    Me: “Those are not money. Do you have any money to pay?”

    Customer: “Yeah! I’m paying with napkins!”

    Coworker: “Sorry, we only take money…”

    (Eventually, security had to come and him (and his napkins) away from the tills.)

    Your Attitude Is Teri-yucky

    | Sammamish, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (Note: I work at a restaurant that specializes only in teriyaki-style food.)

    Customer: “So, what kind of food do you guys sell here?”

    Me: “We sell teriyaki.”

    Customer: “Is your chicken teriyaki-style?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Is your beef teriyaki-style?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Is your pork teriyaki-style?”

    Me: “Yes, the majority of our menu is teriyaki.”

    Customer: *looking upset* “You should really have more variety. I don’t want teriyaki. I didn’t wait in line for 15 minutes for teriyaki!”

    Next customer in line: “Well, then, get the f**k out of a teriyaki restaurant!”

    Waste Not, Want Not, Part 2

    , | Hudson Valley, NY, USA | Food & Drink

    (It’s about two hours before closing and I’m cleaning up our breakfast area, which includes two rotating ovens that often have burnt bagels sitting in the back of them. A customer comes over after I’ve thrown the remaining ones in the trash. Keep in mind it’s late at night.)

    Customer: “What are you doing?”

    Me: “I’m cleaning up the bagels for the night. I can’t believe the amount of bagels people leave here sometimes.”

    (The customer points at one of the more badly burnt bagels in the trash.)

    Customer: “That’s mine.”

    Me: *jokingly* “I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t suppose you still want it, do you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I do.” *takes it out of the trash and walks off*

    Waste Not, Want Not

    A Slice Of Self Entitlement

    | St. Paul, MN, USA | Food & Drink

    (The pizza shop I work at sells cups for the fountain soda machine where you fill your drinks yourself. Like most restaurants, we also offer special cups for customers who haven’t purchased a drink.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Your machine is out of [soda brand]. Go back there and change it immediately!”

    Me: “Well, I am sorry but we are out [soda brand] and we won’t be getting anymore until tomorrow. All of the other sodas work fine, though.”

    Customer: “Then I want a refund!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Because that’s a water cup.”

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