Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Using The Lord’s Name Doesn’t Deliver
    (1,824 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    No Pancakes? How Waffle!

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, thanks for choosing [name of restaurant]. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “You guys serve breakfast all day?”

    Me: “Yes sir.”

    Customer: “Do you serve pancakes?”

    Me: “No, sir. Just waffles.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t like waffles. Can you just make this one exception?”

    Me: “Well, sir I can’t go against code and grill you up a regular pancake but I’ll tell you what: I can make you a pancake with these awesome little holes used to trap syrup on top so it cant escape off the side.”

    Customer: “Really!? You would do that for me? I’ll take two!”

    When Just Being A Doctor Isn’t Cool Enough

    | Erie, PA, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I work in a hospital kitchen with an adjoining cafeteria. A doctor pokes his head in the door and calls attention to himself. I stop what I’m doing to help him.)

    Doctor: “Excuse me, the coolers in the cafeteria are all turned off. Could you please turn them on?”

    Me: “Well, there’s nothing in them right now. We’re still making the food. It would be a waste of electricity to turn on an empty cooler.”

    Doctor: “But I’m a doctor.”

    Me: “I…I know that.”

    Doctor: “If you know, then why won’t you turn them on?”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t turn them on. There’s no need.”

    Doctor: *pauses* “But I’m a doctor.”

    Me: “Sir–”

    Doctor: “I’m a doctor!”

    Me: “Okay, I can turn them on.”

    (I walk into the cafeteria with him and flip the switches on the empty coolers.)

    Doctor: “Thank you.”

    (He walks away empty-handed, apparently satisfied.)

    Me: “Okay then.”

    (I turn the coolers off again and go back to the kitchen.)

    Tooth Isn’t The Only Thing Chipped

    | Lethbridge, AB, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I was in a few days ago, and something I ate chipped my tooth. I called and your boss said you would reimburse me.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, it’s not our policy to offer cash reimbursement without the manager present. However, if you leave your information I will pass it along to the owners and we’ll see what we can do.”

    Customer: “Oh.” *stands there staring at me for a minute*

    Me: “Is there something else I could help you with?”

    Customer: “Are you going to give me the money?”

    Me: “No, sorry, like I said, that’s not within our policy.”

    Customer: “Oh, ok.”

    (I leave to refill another customers beverage. The customer robs my float container from the drawer through some sneaky maneuvering.)

    Me: *catching the customer at the door* “I’m going to need to take that back from you.”

    Customer: *reluctantly hands the float container back to me, looking forlorn* “But….but….it’s for ME!”

    Gluten-Free Is Not A Cure For Gluttony

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink

    (I work in a bakery where all the products are gluten free.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what are these things that look like chocolate chip cookies?”

    Me: “They’re chocolate chip cookies, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. And what are these things that look like éclairs?”

    Me: “They’re éclairs.”

    Customer: “And these things that look like fruit tarts?”

    Me: “They’re fruit tarts.”

    *pause*

    Customer: “So what the h*** does ‘gluten-free’ mean?”

    Killing One Cold Bird With Two Stores

    | Melbourne, Australia | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Top

    Customer: *throws bag of food at me* “It’s f***ing cold! Your chicken is terrible and the bun is stale!”

    Me: “Uh, this is–”

    Customer: “No, shut up! You guys always f*** me over, you’re not getting away with it today!”

    Me: “You didn’t–”

    Customer: “Fine! Get your manager, if you won’t help me. Enjoy being fired, a**wipe!”

    Another customer: “You’re at [fast food outlet], mate. You bought your food from [rival store], next door.”

    Customer: “Oh.” *awkward silence* “Can I have that bag back?”


    Page 222/235First...220221222223224...Last