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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    May Cause Belief In Humanity To Melt Away, Part 2

    , | Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A lady orders an ice cream cone from our drive-thru window. After getting her ice cream, she comes back about 5 minutes later. Keep in mind it’s a sweltering hot day.)

    Me: “Hi, was there something else I can help you with?”

    Customer: *angrily* “I think there’s something wrong with your ice cream machine!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t believe there is. What’s wrong?”

    Customer: “My ice cream has melted!”

    Me: “Could it be because it’s 105 degrees outside?”

    Customer: *leaves in a huff*

    Related:
    May Cause Belief In Humanity To Melt Away

    A Shake As Thick As Your Skull

    , | Melbourne, Australia | Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’d like to order two large chocolate thickshakes, but I don’t want them to be too thick.”

    Me: “Well, would you like milkshakes then?”

    Customer: “No, I want thickshakes. Just don’t make them too thick.”

    Me: “Well, milkshakes are less thick versions of–”

    Customer: *explodes* “NO! I WANT THICKSHAKES!”

    For Some, Childhood Never Ends

    , | Glen Burnie, MD, USA | Food & Drink

    (While waiting for my order inside a fast food restaurant, I overhear this conversation between the employee working the drive-thru window and the customer at the speaker.)

    Employee: “Welcome to [restaurant]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I need a hamburger kids’ meal. Also, could you put cheese on that?”

    Employee: “Okay, so you want a cheeseburger kids’ meal?”

    Customer: “No, just a hamburger with cheese on it.”

    Employee: “Ma’am, if you put cheese on a hamburger, it becomes a cheeseburger. So, do you want a hamburger or a cheeseburger?”

    Customer: “Well, then, I guess I want a cheeseburger.”

    Employee: “Okay, and is this kids’ meal for a boy or a girl?”

    Customer: “Does it matter?”

    Employee: “Not to me, ma’am.”

    (The customer leaves the drive-thru as I leave the restaurant parking lot and she ends up behind me at a red light, happily eating her happy meal while driving.)

    Wake Up And Sell The Coffee, Part 2

    | Riverside, CA, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m ringing up customers when I suddenly have a severe allergic reaction to something I ate on my break twenty minutes ago. By severe reaction, I mean my entire body is quickly becoming covered in hives in the span of about 30 seconds.)

    Customer: “Hey, can you hurry up? I’m kind of in a hurry.”

    Me: “Sorry, I think I’m gonna have to get someone else to finish
    helping you.”

    Customer: “No! I’m late and I need you to finish ringing me up right now!”

    Me: “Uhh…” *passes out*

    (As I am coming to, I can hear the customer still yelling.)

    Customer: “No, you can’t help me! I know he’s faking it and I’m not leaving until he rings me up!”

    Related:
    Wake Up And Sell The Coffee

    Mess Up The Ketchup And She’ll Mess You Up

    | Memphis, TN, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, a number 3 with a root beer. Is there anything else I can get for you today?”

    Customer: “No, that’ll be all, but do me a favor.”

    Me: “Alright, what can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Don’t put any ketchup packets in my bag.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll be sure not–”

    Customer: “You better not! I can’t eat ketchup! They piss me off!”

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