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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Crying Over Spoiled Milk

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Top

    (I’m working in a restaurant at the bar where we also make coffees. I’m standing at the espresso machine when a male customer approaches to order.)

    Customer: “I’d like a cappuccino with no milk, please.”

    (This confuses me, as milk is a necessary component for cappuccinos.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Do you mean a black coffee? A long black, perhaps? That’s espresso topped up with hot water?”

    Customer: “No, I want a normal cappuccino; just don’t put any milk in it.”

    Me: “Well, that would just be a short black or espresso shot. Is that what you’re after?”

    Customer: “No! Look, it’s not that complicated. Just make me a cappuccino, but leave out the milk.”

    (Still confused, I make up a shot of espresso in a cappuccino cup and show the customer.)

    Me: “Is this what you want?”

    Customer: “No! Ugh! You kids these days don’t know anything about making decent coffees!”

    (I actually have over six years experience making coffees.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I just don’t understand what you want me to make.”

    (The customer storms off back to his table in the bistro. Not long after, a woman comes up to the bar.)

    Woman: “I’d just like to apologise for my idiot of a husband and order a cappuccino with skinny milk. Honestly, how did he expect you to make a cappuccino with no milk at all?”

    (The male customer avoided me for the rest of the evening out of embarrassment, but the woman gave me a nice tip!)

    Customer Vs Costumer

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (It is the opening of ‘The Dark Knight Rises’. As it’s a major film, staff are allowed to relax the dress code and dress up in the theme of the film. Our most senior floor manager that day is wearing a Batman mask, cape, utility belt, and boots. He’s at customer service and I’m in concessions.)

    Customer: “There is way too much salt in this popcorn. Are you trying to make my kids sick?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry you think the popcorn is too salty. Can I remake a batch for you without the flavoring salt?”

    Customer: “I’m taking my kids to get tested and then I’m going to sue this theater!”

    Me: “Because the popcorn was too salty?”

    Customer: “Yes! I know you do it to drive drink sales, but this is immoral!”

    Me: “An immoral amount of salt?”

    Customer: “Yes! This is immoral, what you’re doing. You’re making kids sick! Now where’s your manager? I want to talk to an adult!”

    (I’m 19. My manager in the Batman costume is 23.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am a manager. If you’d like, I can give you all the information to file a complaint with corporate.”

    Customer: “No! I want to talk to an adult. Not a little girl!”

    Me: “Okay, well, our most senior manager on staff is behind Customer Service.”

    Customer: *looks around, but doesn’t realize who my manager is*

    Me: “He’s the one dressed up like Batman.”

    Customer: *turns and walks out of the theater without another word*

    (Thankfully, we never got sued and never saw her again.)

    Stale Popcorn, Fresh Mind

    | Panama City Beach, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I’m working at my zoo’s snack shack. I have to clean the popcorn machine a bit before closing, or else I won’t be done by quitting time. This is approved by my supervisor.)

    Woman: “Miss, I need some—oh, did you not make popcorn today?”

    Me: “Well, I cleaned out the machine, but it’s bagged so they can use it for the animals tomorrow.”

    Woman: “Can I still buy it?” *glances at her two very young children* “I’d have come earlier but they weren’t hungry yet. However, they are dead-set on popcorn.”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s probably cold. Really cold.”

    Woman: “I don’t care dear. How much? How’s five dollars?”

    Me: “I really think there’s only two dollars with in the bag.”

    Woman: “You get five for being so sweet!”

    (I ring it up as two anyway, and let her put the change in the donation jar since we don’t take tips. The kids happily take the cold popcorn and start chowing down.)

    Woman: “You’re a lifesaver, sweetie! And such good service!”

    (When I take the ‘take-up’ to the gift shop, I see the woman with her kids, still eating the popcorn.)

    Manager: “Good job. She’s really happy. Bought a mess of merchandise to thank us for hiring ‘such a nice girl!'”

    (Both the kids hugged me on my way back out, too!)

    Fresh Popcorn, Stale Mind

    Training Draining

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (It’s around 12 pm. I’m training a new girl on her third shift. She’s never been on register before, so I’m walking her through it before I teach her how to serve. Our register layout has changed that day, so every employee on shift is re-learning it. All of a sudden, a woman who has been standing in line for around two minutes walks straight up to the register. The register has a sign on it clearly stating that it is closed.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have to do that now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “It’s lunchtime, and you’re training! Do you have to do that now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but this is her training shift and—”

    Customer: “I don’t care! I’ve been standing here for ten minutes! You have one girl serving and it’s extremely busy!”

    (We have around five customers besides her, three of whom have ordered and paid.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’ll get you my manager.”

    Customer: “It’s lunch time!”

    Manager: “Hi, what seems to be the problem today?”

    Customer: “This girl is being extremely rude to me and refusing to serve me!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, but as you can see, this register is closed. Our trainee is currently being trained. If you’ll just step into that line over there, we’ll take your order.”

    Customer: “It’s lunch time! Are you all stupid!?. Some of us are on our meal breaks!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am.”

    Customer: “This line isn’t even moving!”

    (The manager is needed in two other parts of the store at this point, so she instructs me to have the trainee serve the customer, and then get back to training her.)

    Customer: “Finally. It’s lunch time!”

    (The customer then proceeds to rattle off a long and extremely complicated order. This is difficult for both the trainee and myself and takes around five minutes to put through her order. She begins screaming about slow service around halfway through. The trainee is nearly in tears by this point.)

    Customer: “Oh, for God’s sake! You’re so f***ing slow! Don’t you know how to use a register?”

    Me: *finally losing my patience* “No, she doesn’t. That’s what I was trying to teach her before.”

    Customer: “I want to talk to your manager!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You have been extremely rude to my staff, who are only doing as they have been instructed to do. Here is your food.”

    Customer: “You can’t do this to me! I’m going to your owners, and I’m going to your head office! What’s your name? What’s her name?”

    (The manager gives both of our names.)


    (The customer then proceeds to charge out of the store, still ranting about poor service.)

    Manager: “Yeah, have fun with that.”

    A Slice Of Christmas Spirit

    | MA, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s the holidays. A woman comes in looking for sliced Christmas ham. She is on her cellphone. It is our policy to show the customers the first slice of any product to make sure it’s as thick or thin as they want.)

    Me: *holds up first piece of ham* “Ma’am? Is this okay?”

    (She waves me away impatiently, and continues gabbing on her phone. I try to get her attention again to no avail.)

    Me: *goes back to cutting ham* “Okay.”

    (I finish slicing two pounds of ham and put it on the counter. She is still on her phone, so I move on to the next customer. A few minutes later.)

    Customer: *shoves ham in my face* “What is this?”

    Me: “It’s the ham you ordered, ma’am.”

    Customer: “It most certainly is not! It’s too thick! Nobody can eat this!”

    Me: “With all due respect, you didn’t answer me. You waved, which I figured meant you okayed the first slice.”

    (She picks up the bag of ham and throws it into her basket on the floor, kicks the basket, and scoops it up, stomping off like a child.)

    Me: “And a very Merry Christmas to you, too!”