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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Half Dumb And Half Stupid

    | Nebraska, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “It’s my birthday tomorrow and I want to have some chicken delivered. I want 50 pieces of chicken, half baked chicken and half fried chicken.”

    Me: “Okay, so, you want 25 pieces of baked chicken and 25 pieces of fried chicken?”

    Customer: “No, I want half baked and half fried.”

    Me: “Well, half of 50 is 25. So, you want 25 baked and 25 fried?”

    Customer: “No! I want 12 pieces of baked chicken and the rest fried chicken!”

    Cheap Like White On Rice

    | Minnesota, USA | Food & Drink

    (We have a customer who comes in and complains every single time to try and get his meal for free. I have seen him in action so I know to be cautious, but alas, he complains anyway.)

    Customer: “What’s wrong with this rice?”

    Me: “I’m not sure what you mean, sir–”

    Customer: “It’s too light in color!”

    Me: “Does it taste bad?”

    Customer: “No, but it’s too light! It’s usually darker!”

    Me: “That means it’s fresh, sir. It just came out. The longer it sits, the darker it gets.”

    Customer: “This is bulls***!”

    (The rice was sampled and seen to be in excellent quality, but he continued claiming it was BS until he had to be escorted out.)

    Self Serve And Self Deserved

    | Ohio, USA | Food & Drink

    (I work at an all-you-can-eat buffet. My job is to bring drinks to the table and take away the dirty plates.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant name]! I’ll go ahead and get your drinks. The buffet is ready when you are.”

    Customer: “Thanks!”

    (I bring their drinks to the table and see that they are still there and have not gotten up to get their plates. I go about my business. About 10 minutes later, I see they are still sitting at their table with no food in front of them.)

    Me: “Are you waiting on someone?”

    Customer: “There you are! We’re starving! I’ll start off with chicken, corn, and mashed potatoes.”

    Me: “Okay, well, the buffet is over there and you can help yourself.”

    Customer: “You mean we have to get it ourselves?”

    Customer #2: “Can’t you get our food for us?”

    Me: “Are you disabled?”

    Customer: “No, we’re not.”

    Me: “The buffet is self-serve. The plates are up at the buffet.”

    (Needless to say, I didn’t get a tip.)

    Dangerously Cheesy

    | John's Creek, GA, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Where is your mad cow cheese?”

    Me: “Mad cow cheese, ma’am? Do you mean Laughing Cow cheese?”

    Customer: “No! Mad cow cheese! Everyone carries it.”

    (At this point, I’m trying really hard not to laugh even though other customers are. I ask her to follow me and I show her the laughing cow cheese.)

    Customer: “Yes! Mad cow cheese!” *takes cheese and continues shopping*

    (I walk back to the area I work in, where another regular customer is waiting.)

    Another customer: *laughs* “It’s okay, you can laugh now.”

    Because Every Day Is A Special Day

    | Canberra, Australia | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Can I get the Monday special, please?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m afraid not.”

    Customer: “Why not?!”

    Me: “Because it’s Friday. The only special available today is the Friday special.”

    Customer: “Oh, can I just have your Wednesday special then, please?

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