Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Go Easy On The Brain
    (1,918 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Water You, Stupid, Part 5

    | California, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’d like a kid’s bean and cheese burrito.”

    Me: “Alright, would you like a fountain drink, juice, or milk?”

    Customer: *turns to her child* “Okay, do you want soda or juice?”

    Customer’s daughter: “I just want water.”

    Customer: “But soda’s better for you!”

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid, Part 4
    Water You, Stupid, Part 3
    Water You, Stupid, Part 2
    Water You, Stupid

    Weighs On Your Conscience And Your Scale

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Food & Drink

    (Since it’s my first day, I’m shadowing another employee at the cash register, putting in every order she takes from the customer. An hour in, a woman in her 40s and her husband come in. Note our sugar-free items are advertised as “guilt-free.” )

    Coworker: “Good afternoon and welcome to [coffee shop]! What can we make for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes I’d like a guilt-free sugar cookie latte and [frozen coffee] with guilt-free vanilla syrup.”

    Coworker: *repeating order for my benefit* “So, that’s a sugar-free sugar cookie latte and frozen coffee with sugar free vanilla?”

    Customer: *frowning* “No, a guilt-free latte and a guilt-free frozen coffee!”

    Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, a sugar-free latte and frozen coffee. Will that be all?

    Customer: “No! No! No! It’s GUILT-FREE! Turn around and read your menu board! GUILT. FREE.”

    (At this point I’m scared and just tell the coworker to use the term so she’ll go away.)

    Coworker: “Sorry, that’s a guilt-free latte and a frozen coffee with guilt-free vanilla syrup, yes?”

    Customer: “YES! Finally!”

    (I ring her up and charge her card. Her husband comes to the counter to place his own order.)

    Customer’s husband: “I just want a hot chocolate, young lady.”

    Customer, to her husband: “You’re fat! Get it GUILT-free!” *smacks him with her purse*

    Keep That Style To Yourself

    , | Stockton, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I take orders at a fast food restaurant. We have a secret menu with special type of fry we call “animal style”, which is pretty popular. A customer walks up.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you doing today? How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I have heard about this secret style french fry you guys make. Could I have one order of french fries, doggy style, please?”

    Me: “Um…do you mean animal style fries?”

    Customer: *turning red* “Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

    Related:
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

    But Cheddar Is Always Beddar

    | Peterborough, ON, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I work in a coffee shop that is now advertising using real cheese instead of processed cheese.)

    Customer: “Can I get a chocolate chip muffin please?”

    Me: “Sure, that will be [price].”

    Customer: “And can I get that without cheese?”

    Me: *confused* “We actually don’t put cheese on our muffins.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, I saw on the commercial that everything now has real cheese on it, so I really don’t want that.”

    Me: “Well, we only put cheese on things like sandwiches. You won’t have cheese on much else. We have just changed to using real cheese instead of processed, so that’s what we’re advertising.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s a relief!”

    Related:
    Dangerously Cheesy

    I Meant What I Said And I Said What I Meant

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “What can I get you, sir?”

    Customer #1: “Um, I’d like a quickie.”

    Me: *offended* “EXCUSE ME?”

    Customer#1: “A quickie!” *licks his lips*

    (Offended, I skip him and serve the next table.)

    Customer #2: *apparently having overheard* “I think it’s pronounced ‘quiche’.”

    Me, to customer #1: “Oh! You meant quiche?”

    Customer #1: “No!”

    Related:
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

    Page 211/259First...209210211212213...Last