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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    When Pigs Pork, You Get Pig

    | UK | Food & Drink

    (I am working the customer services counter. A customer walks up and throws down a packet of pigs liver.)

    Customer: “I want a packet of pork liver, but I can only find pigs’ liver. Why don’t you stock it?!”

    Me: “Pigs’ liver is pork liver. Pork comes from a pig. It is the same thing. I can take you to our butcher to explain this if you want.”

    Customer: “You think I was born yesterday? They are not the same thing. And, even if they are, I want it to say pork liver.”

    Me: “Pigs and pork are the same.”

    Customer: “They are not!” *throws the liver at me and storms out the door*

    User Error, User Fate

    , | Kansas, USA | Food & Drink

    (I am working a very busy drive-thru. A 20-something year old woman has requested a very complicated ice cream order: a small milkshake, made with vanilla ice cream with caramel, hot fudge, peanuts, and snickers on top, unblended, in a medium cup. It takes me a minute to figure out how to enter this in the computer. By the time the woman has paid, her ice cream has been made correctly, but in the normal small cup.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, it looks like this has already been made in the small cup. Is that okay?”

    Customer: “No, I specifically asked for a medium so it won’t spill.”

    Me: “Well, I can put a lid on it. Will that work?”

    Customer: “No, I have to eat it now. Can you just dump it into a medium cup?”

    Me: “I can scrape it into a bigger cup, but the toppings won’t be on top anymore.”

    Customer: “Why not?”

    (Searching for something to satisfy her, I find a cup sleeve that adds extra room to the top and fit it into her ice cream cup.)

    Customer: “Will it spill?”

    Me: “Well, it’s a removable sleeve. But if you keep it in there, the ice cream won’t spill.”

    Customer: “But I have to eat it right now. Are you sure it won’t spill?”

    Me: “If you spill it, ma’am, it will spill.”

    This Isn’t Team Jacob

    | NJ, USA | Food & Drink

    (In our ice cream shop, we have a deal where kids can get an ice cream cone with free sprinkles if they wear their team uniform. This is written on a big sign on the window. A family buys ice cream, and I charge them for sprinkles.)

    Customer: “Hey! You! Come over here!”

    Me: “Is there a problem, sir?”

    Customer: “Read this sign to me.”

    Me: “Get an ice cream cone with free sprinkles–”

    Customer: “Exactly! Free sprinkles! You charged me for these. Can’t you read?”

    Me: “Get an ice cream cone with free sprinkles if you wear your team uniform.”

    Customer: “Oh, well this is my team uniform!”

    (He’s wearing a black t-shirt and jeans.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s not going to work.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m never coming back here again!”

    AA: Angry Alcoholics

    | Burlington, VT, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello, ladies! How are you today? May I get you something to drink?”

    Customer: “No, nothing to drink. I don’t drink. Just a sweet tea, please.”

    Me: “Our iced tea is unsweetened. I can bring sugar with it, or if you like, we can make you an Arnold Palmer–”

    Customer: *angrily* “I told you I don’t drink!”

    Me: “Ma’am, an Arnold Palmer is iced tea mixed with lemonade.”

    Customer: “Oh, I’ll try that!”

    Ice And A Side Of Chill Pill

    , | UK | Food & Drink, Top

    (Note: I am working in a drive thru.)

    Me: “Hello, can I take your order?”

    (I hear the customer sigh. They then carry on talking to a friend.)

    Me: “Hello, can I take an order please?”

    Customer: “God! One minute please! Can’t a person just have some peace without being pestered for money?”

    Me: “Um, sir, you’ve driven up to the drive thru speaker. I assumed you’d wish to order. If not, you should have gone into the car park.”

    Customer: “You’re being extremely rude. And how did you know I was a man?”

    Me: “There is a camera facing you, sir. I didn’t mean to come across as rude, but you are causing a queue, so if you do not plan to order, please leave the queue.”

    Customer: *sigh* “Fine.”

    (He gives an incredibly long order, with special requests. I read the order back to him to verify that it is correct.)

    Me: “Okay, if that order is complete, check the screen and come to the window.”

    Customer: “God, what took you so long?! *throws change on the counter and drives off*

    (Ten minutes later, he comes back.)

    Customer: “I am not happy!”

    Me: “What’s the problem with your order, si–”

    Customer: “I specifically asked for coke with no ice, and you put it in wrong! Guess what? There’s ice in my coke!”

    Me: “Sir, I read the order back to you twice and then asked you to check the screen to ensure it was correct.”

    Customer: “Well you serve people everyday. You should have been able to guess from experience that I didn’t want ice. My demeanor made it very obvious!”

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