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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Will That Be Paper Or Plastic

    , | Kildare, Ireland | Food & Drink, Money

    Customer: “Can I get a cheeseburger and a bottle of water?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s $3.70, please.”

    (The customer holds out five napkins and starts counting them. He then hands them to me as payment.)

    Me: “Sorry, do you have $3.70?”

    Customer: *points at napkins* “Yea, there! Look!”

    Me: “Those are not money. Do you have any money to pay?”

    Customer: “Yeah! I’m paying with napkins!”

    Coworker: “Sorry, we only take money…”

    (Eventually, security had to come and him (and his napkins) away from the tills.)

    Your Attitude Is Teri-yucky

    | Sammamish, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (Note: I work at a restaurant that specializes only in teriyaki-style food.)

    Customer: “So, what kind of food do you guys sell here?”

    Me: “We sell teriyaki.”

    Customer: “Is your chicken teriyaki-style?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Is your beef teriyaki-style?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Is your pork teriyaki-style?”

    Me: “Yes, the majority of our menu is teriyaki.”

    Customer: *looking upset* “You should really have more variety. I don’t want teriyaki. I didn’t wait in line for 15 minutes for teriyaki!”

    Next customer in line: “Well, then, get the f**k out of a teriyaki restaurant!”

    Waste Not, Want Not, Part 2

    , | Hudson Valley, NY, USA | Food & Drink

    (It’s about two hours before closing and I’m cleaning up our breakfast area, which includes two rotating ovens that often have burnt bagels sitting in the back of them. A customer comes over after I’ve thrown the remaining ones in the trash. Keep in mind it’s late at night.)

    Customer: “What are you doing?”

    Me: “I’m cleaning up the bagels for the night. I can’t believe the amount of bagels people leave here sometimes.”

    (The customer points at one of the more badly burnt bagels in the trash.)

    Customer: “That’s mine.”

    Me: *jokingly* “I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t suppose you still want it, do you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I do.” *takes it out of the trash and walks off*

    Related:
    Waste Not, Want Not

    A Slice Of Self Entitlement

    | St. Paul, MN, USA | Food & Drink

    (The pizza shop I work at sells cups for the fountain soda machine where you fill your drinks yourself. Like most restaurants, we also offer special cups for customers who haven’t purchased a drink.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Your machine is out of [soda brand]. Go back there and change it immediately!”

    Me: “Well, I am sorry but we are out [soda brand] and we won’t be getting anymore until tomorrow. All of the other sodas work fine, though.”

    Customer: “Then I want a refund!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Because that’s a water cup.”

    Caution: Density May Vary With Temper

    | Los Angeles, CA, Los Angeles, CA, USA | Food & Drink

    (A customer comes up to my register and orders a pint of mint chip. All of our pints and quarts are hand scooped.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am, here is your ice cream. Anything else?”

    Customer: “No.”

    (The customer pulls out a small scale and weighs the pint.)

    Customer: “This weighs 17.8 ounces! A pint of water weighs 18! I will not pay for this!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Can I get you a new pint?”

    Customer: “No! This is unacceptable!”

    Me: “Ma’am, would you like to talk to my manager?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Manager: “Hello, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Are you guys trying to f***ing rip me off? This is grossly under weight!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but ice cream weighs less than water because there are air bubbles in ice cream. Wwe hand scoop our pints so while we put forth the biggest effort, we are not perfect.”

    Customer: “F***! I don’t care about air bubbles. This is a f***ing rip off!”

    Manager: “I’m so sorry. What can I do to fix this?”

    Customer: “Give me more f***ing ice cream! That’s what you can do!”

    Manager: “Okay.”

    (I quickly scoop her a couple cups of mint chip. She pays for the pint and storms off.)

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