November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Tray Fray

, | Burlington, VT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(Due to new public safety standards, we now have to machine wash all dirty trays instead of merely wiping them down with a disinfectant and paper towel.)

Me: “You’re order will be right out, ma’am. Thank you.”

(My coworker brings out her bag of food.)

Customer: “I said I wanted this for here.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but as I mentioned all our trays are dirty and we’re only bagging the food at the moment. You’re more than welcome to eat in the lobby if you’d like, but we can’t offer you a tray.”

Customer: “What about those?” *points to dirty pile of trays over a trash can* “Can’t I just have one of those?”

Me: “Uh, no ma’am. Those are all dirty trays. I can’t give you any of those.”

Customer: “Just wipe one down; it’ll be fine.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I can’t do that. It’s against health codes.”

Customer: “Just wipe it down! You’re just being lazy!”

(Note: the customer is getting so agitated that other customers are backing away from her.)

Me: “No, I’m not. I’m really just waiting for the trays to be brought back up from the dish area. They’ll be clean soon.”

Customer: “God, I can’t believe you’d be so rude and lazy not to give me a tray!”

(Without warning, the customer throws her bag full of food at my face. It’s filled with cardboard sandwich boxes and hot fries inside, so she takes a solid chunk out of my cheek and I start bleeding.)

Customer: “That’ll teach you to be rude to a customer!” *shoves two customers out of the way and leaves*

Acting An Oaf About The Loaf

| Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(It has snowed quite severely in our area so today. We are short on staff and no deliveries have been able to reach us.)

Customer: “You’ve run out of bread.”

Me: “Yes, I’m terribly sorry; there is no fresh bread. All I can do is recommend some of our pre-mixed bread flour. You just add water and bake.”

Customer: “I can’t believe you’ve run out of bread. I came here especially.”

Me: “Yes ma’am, I appreciate that, but our delivery lorry got stuck. I am sorry, but there’s very little I can do to assist you.”

Customer: “But you’re [supermarket]! You should never run out of bread.”

Me: “Ma’am, like I said, the roads are impassable. Our lorry couldn’t get here. I normally work at another store, but I couldn’t drive there today, so I am helping out here. Do you mind if I ask whether you walked or drove in?”

Customer: “Well, I walked of course. Have you seen the roads? It would be like driving on pure white death out there.”

Me: “Exactly.”

(I give her time to process this information, bearing in mind what I have said about the delivery drivers.)

Customer: *walks off, muttering* “…can’t believe [supermarket] has no bread!”

Government Is Going To Cone For You

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(A customer in her mid-50s comes into the shop and begins looking around at all the varieties of ice cream.)

Me: “Hi, do you know what you’d like?”

Customer: “I sure do! I need some butter pecan in a waffle cone.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we don’t have any waffle cones at this moment. Our waffle cone machine broke and we had to send it back to get another. We have cake and sugar cones, though.”

Customer: “No, a ‘waaaaa-ffle’ cone. Waffle. Right here!” *points to sugar cones*

Me: “Oh, a sugar cone! Sure thing, coming right up!”

Customer: “No! Not a sugar cone! Waffle! Why won’t you give me what I want?! It’s the government, I tell you! They’re playing these evil mind tricks! I won’t fall for it, though! I won’t! I want a waffle cone!”

Me: *grabs sugar cone* “Yes, ma’am.”

(My coworker returns from her break, only having heard the last bit from the customer saying she wanted a waffle cone.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have any waffle cones right now.”

Customer: “Not you, too! It’s a conspiracy, I tell you! A conspiracy!” *storms out*

Coworker: “Well, that escalated quickly.”

Just Stole His Thunder

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

(I’m volunteering at my school’s concession stand at a football game. An elderly man comes up to the register. There’s a very long, impatient line.)

Me: “Hello sir, welcome to [school name], home of the [mascot]! How may I help you?”

Man: “I’ll have two hot dogs, a pretzel with cheese, nachos, a Diet Coke and a Sprite.”

(I hand him the hot dogs and sodas. The kids in the back are still working on the nachos and pretzel.)

Man: “Where’s my pretzel and nachos?”

(Right as he says this, the pretzel is ready. It comes wrapped in wax paper with a cup of cheese, and I hand it to him.)

Man: “What’s this?”

Me: “A pretzel with cheese.”

Man: “No! I want it in a tray!”

(I take the pretzel back and ask for a nacho tray. The nachos are still not yet ready.)

Me: “That’ll be $7.50, please.”

Man: *has money out and I attempt to take it* “Hold on, don’t take my money until I get my prize!”

Me: “Sir, there is at least $200 in cash in this register. If I wanted to steal money, I’d just grab some when nobody was looking, not from some guy who’s holding up a line!”

Man: *takes his food and backs away sheepishly*

Omfoolery Imes Wo

| WV, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer: “I’ll have a BL.”

Me: “You mean a BLT?”

Customer: “No, a BL. I don’t like T.”

Me: *laughs* “Okay, anything else?”

Customer: “Yes, a glass of iced tea.”

Me: *joking* “I thought you didn’t like T.”

Customer: “Oh, right. Well, then… get me a glass of iced ea.”