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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3

    | Virginia, USA | Food & Drink, Geography

    Customer: “Excuse me, I have a question about your wild Alaskan Salmon. Why does it say it’s a product of the United States on it?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is.”

    Customer: “But if it’s a product of the US, then it’s not really Alaskan salmon, right?”

    Me: *speechless* “Um, the label’s correct, ma’am.”

    Customer: “So, then it’s not from Alaska?”

    Me: “Alaska is a part of the United States. The salmon is fresh from Alaska.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay…” *rolls eyes and leaves*

    Related:
    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance

    Jessica Simpson Isn’t The Only One

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m on the phone taking an order for pick-up.)

    Customer: “I’d like 50 wings please.”

    Me: “Okay, would you like those buffalo?”

    Customer: “No, chicken.”

    Water You, Stupid, Part 6

    | Woburn, MA, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Can I have a glass of water?”

    Me: “Sure.” *gets him cup of water*

    Customer: “Are we in Woburn?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Oh, so is this, uh, Woburn water?”

    Me: *sigh* “Yes.”

    Customer: “Didn’t this stuff kill people?”

    Me: “That was years ago.”

    Customer: “No, I think it was very recent.”

    Me: “No, the movie was just released very recently. The water’s fine now.”

    Customer: “I’d rather not take my chances. Can I get a bottle of water instead with a cup of ice?”

    Me: “You know where ice comes from, right?”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “Never mind. Enjoy.” *hands them bottle of water and ice made from Woburn water*

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid, Part 5
    Water You, Stupid, Part 4
    Water You, Stupid, Part 3
    Water You, Stupid, Part 2
    Water You, Stupid

    Routine Trumps Common Cents

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (A regular buys the same bottle of liquor every couple of days and brings in just enough money to pay for the bottle. This week, we happen to get in “special edition” bottles and put them in place of the normal ones.)

    Me: “That will be [price].”

    (The customer hands me money and I give him a $5 in change.)

    Customer: “Is this on sale or something? You gave me too much change!”

    Me: “That’s a special edition bottle we got in. It’s actually cheaper than the normal one!”

    Customer: “Well, it’s been [price] for six years! Why is it cheaper?!”

    Me: “Well, at least it’s not more expensive?”

    Customer: *muttering* “It’s been [price] for six years…”

    Me: *speechless*

    Options: Good To Have, Not To Exercise

    | London, UK | Food & Drink

    (A customer runs up to the till looking rather angry.)

    Customer: “Do you have any Pepsi?”

    Me: “Yes, we do. Would you like a–”

    Customer: “Do you have any Coca-Cola?”

    Me: “Yes, we do.”

    Customer: “I’ll have a water, then!”

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