• Understood The Concept Swimmingly
    (1,579 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Cold Call From Work

    | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am training a new 17-year-old girl. I am going slow and steady, trying to teach her the right way to do everything. Two female customers come in. One orders a drink made with caffeine-free citrus soda and sherbet. I start explaining and showing the trainee what to do.)

    Me: *quietly to the trainee* “Okay, use two scoops for a small and three for a large, then fill it to here with soda. I personally think these are gross, but they’re really popular, especially with kids.”

    Customer: “It’s not gross! If you ever tried it, you’d know it wasn’t gross!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t even realize you could hear me. I just don’t personally like them, but I know plenty of people who do.”

    Customer: “You have to take that back! I’m the customer, so I’m right! You’re the rudest f****** b**** I’ve ever seen!”

    Me: “Okay. I’m sorry that I don’t personally like the same drink that you do.”

    Customer: “I need to talk to your manager right now!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m the senior employee working right now. My manager is at home with her daughter. I can take down your information and have her call you wh—”

    Customer: “No! Call her right now! I need to talk to her and tell her what a rude b**** you’ve been!”

    Me: *while dialing the phone* “Just to clarify: you want me to interrupt my manager’s family dinner, so you can inform her that I don’t like soda and sherbet mixed together, yes?”

    Customer: “Yes! Call her right now! I’ll get your a** fired!”

    (I explain the situation on the phone to my manager.)

    Manager: “So, what exactly does she want me to do?”

    Me: “I think she wants you to fire me… for not liking sherbet.”

    Manager: “Oh, lord. Just give her the phone.”

    (The trainee and I stand there while the customer yells on the phone at my manager. My poor trainee is just dumbfounded. Eventually my manager convinces the woman to leave and asks her to not come back, as insulting her employees is not acceptable. The woman and her friend leave, and my new co-worker and I breathe a sigh of relief. The customer storms back into the shop.)

    Customer: “Oh! And you know what’s f****** gross? Your face!”

    (She leaves, and I start laughing uncontrollably.)

    Trainee: “Did that just f****** happen?”

    Me: “Welcome to life in customer service!”

    I Yam Not Impressed

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Don’t put the apples in the bag with the potatoes! They’ll get bruised!”

    Me: “The apples are in top, ma’am.They won’t get bruised.”

    Customer: “But the potatoes are heavy; they’ll bruise the apples! Geez, don’t you know anything!?”

    (I put the apples in a separate bag. I’m careful not to put anything in with the potatoes, as they might get bruised. The other bags are pretty full, and the last item is a bag of loose lettuce.)

    Me: “Would you like this in a separate bag?”

    Customer: “No, that can go on top of the potatoes. There’s plenty of space.”

    The Navi Ending Story

    | Hobart, Tasmania, Australia | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Movies & TV, Top

    (An elderly couple is doing their grocery shopping and among their items is the ‘Avatar’ DVD.)

    Me: “Oh, you are buying Avatar. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’ve heard really good things about it. ”

    Elderly Woman: “Oh, that’s nice. Our grandchildren told us to watch it. ”

    (We keep talking about the movie for the rest of the transaction.)

    Elderly Woman: “I’ll tell you what: if we don’t like it, we’ll come back in and give it too you so you can watch it.”

    (Next day…)

    Elderly Man: “We started watching Avatar yesterday. We didn’t get very far into it as we weren’t enjoying it much. We are going to try finishing it tonight.”

    (A couple of days later…)

    Elderly Man: “Well, we tried watching it twice. We really didn’t like it. If are you working tomorrow morning, I’ll bring it in for you.”

    Me: “I’m afraid I’m only working in the afternoon.”

    Elderly man: “Okay, we’ll leave it at the front desk for you to collect when you come in.”

    (I buy them a box of chocolates as a thank you and leave it at the desk with my co-worker.)

    Co-worker: “The elderly couple left the DVD for you, and they were ecstatic with the chocolates. The lady hadn’t received anything for Mother’s Day, so she said it made her week!”

    No Proof In Purchase

    | Wiltshire, England, UK | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging, School

    (We have a school prom in our function room. Whenever we have a prom, we run a ‘dry’ bar. We will not serve the students at the main bar. One of the teachers approaches the bar and slams a bottle down on the counter.)

    Teacher: “I just took this from one of my students. He is 16!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s—”

    Teacher: “This is a disgrace; you’ve broken the law. Who served him! Was it you?”

    Me: “It’s a—”

    Teacher: “I want to speak to your manager.”

    Me: “I understand why you’re upset, but—”

    Teacher: “We won’t have another prom here! Selling alcohol to kids—”

    Me: “It’s a non alcoholic beer. There is no alcohol behind the bar tonight and no one here would serve anyone underage anyway.”

    Teacher: “Oh, God. I’m so sorry. I’d better give this back to him.”

    Worst Superhero Name Ever

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work at the meat/seafood counter of my store. I greet my first customer of the day.)

    Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a six lb. rib roast, please.”

    Me: “Certainly. Let me go and pass your order on to the butcher.”

    (I go back into the cutting room. The butcher says it will take about ten minutes because of the other order he has to fill first. I go back to the counter.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, he can have your order ready in ten minutes. If you want, you can do some more shopping and come back later. We’ll set your order up here on the counter when it’s ready for you.”

    Customer: “Are you being a smart-a**?!”

    Me: “Um… excuse me?”

    Customer: “Are. You. Being. A. Smart-a**!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what the problem is.”

    Customer: *in a mocking tone* “Oh, look at me! I’m Mr. Big Shot Meat Guy! I’ll put your order right up here on the counter! Right here, all nice and neat, because I’m Mr. Big Shot Meat Guy!”

    Me: “Uh… that’s just what we do, ma’am. If someone places an order we set it on the counter for them to come and pick up when it’s ready.”

    (She gives me the dirtiest look I’ve ever seen, and stomps away.)

    Co-worker: “Welcome to work, Mr. Big Shot Meat Guy!”