Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (2,023 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Having Funion With Food

    , | York County, ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Any veggies on your sandwich?”

    Customer: *mumbles*

    (I think I hear “onions” and reach for them.)

    Customer: “No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! No onions, no onions, no, no, NO!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, no onions then. What did you say?”

    Customer: *repeats veggie order*

    (I get to ringing her up and she begins to apologize.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry if I startled you.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s okay.”

    Customer: “It’s just…I don’t like onions.”

    Me: “It’s really okay.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand. You would have had to remake my sandwich. I hate onions! They make me want to vomit! Vomit everywhere!”

    Color Me Stupid

    | St Louis, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Note: I am fairly new at the liquor store, so I’m still learning about all the wines, beers, and liqueurs.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have Nuvo Pink?”

    Me: “Umm, I’m not sure. What is that?”

    Customer: “It’s a liqueur.”

    Me: “Okay, well, it would be over here.”

    (I take the customer over to the the shelves and start looking for it.)

    Me: “If we don’t have it, perhaps we have something similar. What flavor is it?”

    Customer: “Pink.”

    Me: “No, what flavor?”

    Customer: “The flavor is pink!”

    Painfully Obvious Stupidity

    | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Food & Drink

    (In Canada, all products have the information written in both English and French. A customer is holding a loaf of whole wheat bread.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! This doesn’t make any sense. This says 100% whole wheat. Is it white bread or brown?”

    Me: “It’s brown.”

    Customer: “But, that’s not what it says here. It says ‘plain’, which means it’s white, doesn’t it?”

    Me: “That says ‘pain’. It’s French for ‘bread’.”

    Customer: “But it already says ‘bread’.

    Me: “Yes, but ‘bread’ is English and ‘pain’ is French.”

    Customer: “So, is it white or brown?”

    Me: “It’s brown.”

    Customer: “Then why does it say ‘plain’!?”

    She’s Nuts About Her Husband

    | North Carolina, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: “Do these cookies contain nuts?”

    Me: “Which cookie are you thinking about?”

    Customer: “The toffee nut cookies.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, they contain brazil nuts.”

    Customer: “I’ll take one.”

    (After a few minutes, the customer returns.)

    Customer: “What kind of nuts do those cookies contain?”

    Me: “Ma’am, they contain brazil nuts.”

    Customer: “Oh, my husband is deathly allergic to those.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can call 911 or direct you to the nearest hospital.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know where it is, but first, I want to get a sandwich to go…”

    Related:
    Through Joy And Sorrow, Sickness And Health Insurance

    Try Our New Three Slice Pizza

    , | Syracuse, NY, USA | Food & Drink

    (I am talking to a woman on the phone who is ordering a pizza.)

    Customer: “How many slices come in a large pizza?”

    Me: “The large comes with 12 slices.”

    Customer: “Ok, I will take a large pizza, but can you cut it into 8 slices instead? I couldn’t possibly eat 12 slices.”


    Page 202/234First...200201202203204...Last