October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Running Onion Rings Around Common Sense

, | Eagle River, AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money

(At our store, ordering a combo will always be cheaper than ordering the three items separately. This applies for all sides, not just fries. Our menu and prices reflect this, and most people have no problem understanding.)

Customer: “I’d like a number three combo, but with onion rings instead of fries.”

Me: “No problem. That’ll be [price].”

(The customer gets his food to go, pays, and then demands to talk to me when he sees his receipt.)

Me: “What’s the trouble, sir?”

Customer: “I was supposed to pay an dollar for those rings!”

Me: “No, sir. If you’ll notice our prices, you ordered the combo meal, which means the onion rings are cheaper than if you’d ordered them separately.”

(I point out the two different prices, clearly labelled as ‘alone’ and ‘replacing fries’. However, he barely glances at where I’m pointing.)

Customer: “Your menu is misleading!”

Me: “I’m sorry if you thought that sir, but you are paying for a dollar cheaper than if you’d—”

Customer: “I want to see the manager!”

(The manager has been listening this whole time, and comes over. He tells the customer the exact same thing I’ve been telling him.)

Customer: “Well… your prices are still misleading! I can’t believe I paid this!”

Manager: “Sir, I’m sorry you feel that way, but as my employee has been telling you, our prices are clearly listed, and you actually saved money by getting the combo. I honestly don’t see the problem here.”

Customer: “The problem is that your prices are misleading!”

(He takes his food and storms out. The manager just shrugs and makes to return to his office, but an eat-in customer steps up to the counter.)

Customer #2: “Excuse me, folks? I want to register a complaint against you!”

Me: “Yes, sir?”

Customer #2: *smiles* “I want to complain because I’m actually saving money, and you’re giving me a good deal!”

A Thick Slice Of Humble Pie

| Tempe, AZ, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I am a waitress at a well-known restaurant chain. It is during the holidays. We have a run on pecan pie this afternoon, so I don’t have any ready yet. This takes place after a table of three has finished their meal.)

Me: “Would you guys like any desert? We have a lovely selection of pies.”

Customer #1: “What do you have?”

(I list the several kinds of pie we have available.)

Customer #2: “Oh, I’ll have the chocolate cream.”

Customer #1: “Pumpkin, please.”

Customer #3: “Do you have any pecan pie?”

Me: “Not right now. We had a lot of people wanting pecan today, but I can start one thawing for you. It’ll take about 10 minutes.”

Customer #3: “Never mind, then.”

Me: “Sorry, I have other pies. Would you like one of those?”

Customer #3: “No.”

(I leave and bring out the two pies and the bill, asking them if that was all. They said yes. In ten minutes, I look in on them again.)

Me: “How was everything?”

Customers #1 & #2: “Great.”

Customer #3: “Where’s my pecan pie?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I thought you said ‘Never mind.’ I can have it out to you in a few minutes, though.”

Customer #3: *irritated* “Never mind, then!”

Me: “Are you sure, sir?”

Customer #3: *sighs* “Yes.”

Me: “Sorry about that. You guys have a good day, though.”

(I leave them and go over to the register because a banquet party of 70+ people are waiting to cash out. Customer #3 comes over to the register to cash out, so I tell him it’ll be a moment because of the line. Instead, he speaks to my manager who happens to be right behind me.)

Customer #3: *angrily, to my manager* “I never got my pie!”

Manager: “I’m so sorry, sir.” *turns to me* “Hey, why didn’t he get his pie?”

(I explain the whole thing.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. There seemed to have been some confusion. I can take the pie off your bill.”

Me: “It was never on there because he never ordered it.”

Customer #3: “I want a discount!”

Manager: “For a pie you never ordered? It’s not on your bill. If it were on your bill, I could take it off.”

Customer #3: “She is a stupid waitress! I wanted pie! I never got it! I want my meal free!”

Manager: “And why would I give you a free meal because of a misunderstanding over a pie you never ordered?”


Manager: *firmly* “No. Sometimes the customer is very wrong! Please pay your bill as it stands, or I call the cops and you can explain to them why you’re always right, and shouldn’t go to jail over a piece of pie you never ordered.”

(Customer #3 blushes, pays, and all but runs out leaving his friends to stammer their apologies.)

Crying Over Spoiled Milk

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Top

(I’m working in a restaurant at the bar where we also make coffees. I’m standing at the espresso machine when a male customer approaches to order.)

Customer: “I’d like a cappuccino with no milk, please.”

(This confuses me, as milk is a necessary component for cappuccinos.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Do you mean a black coffee? A long black, perhaps? That’s espresso topped up with hot water?”

Customer: “No, I want a normal cappuccino; just don’t put any milk in it.”

Me: “Well, that would just be a short black or espresso shot. Is that what you’re after?”

Customer: “No! Look, it’s not that complicated. Just make me a cappuccino, but leave out the milk.”

(Still confused, I make up a shot of espresso in a cappuccino cup and show the customer.)

Me: “Is this what you want?”

Customer: “No! Ugh! You kids these days don’t know anything about making decent coffees!”

(I actually have over six years experience making coffees.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I just don’t understand what you want me to make.”

(The customer storms off back to his table in the bistro. Not long after, a woman comes up to the bar.)

Woman: “I’d just like to apologise for my idiot of a husband and order a cappuccino with skinny milk. Honestly, how did he expect you to make a cappuccino with no milk at all?”

(The male customer avoided me for the rest of the evening out of embarrassment, but the woman gave me a nice tip!)

Customer Vs Costumer

| Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(It is the opening of ‘The Dark Knight Rises’. As it’s a major film, staff are allowed to relax the dress code and dress up in the theme of the film. Our most senior floor manager that day is wearing a Batman mask, cape, utility belt, and boots. He’s at customer service and I’m in concessions.)

Customer: “There is way too much salt in this popcorn. Are you trying to make my kids sick?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry you think the popcorn is too salty. Can I remake a batch for you without the flavoring salt?”

Customer: “I’m taking my kids to get tested and then I’m going to sue this theater!”

Me: “Because the popcorn was too salty?”

Customer: “Yes! I know you do it to drive drink sales, but this is immoral!”

Me: “An immoral amount of salt?”

Customer: “Yes! This is immoral, what you’re doing. You’re making kids sick! Now where’s your manager? I want to talk to an adult!”

(I’m 19. My manager in the Batman costume is 23.)

Me: “Ma’am, I am a manager. If you’d like, I can give you all the information to file a complaint with corporate.”

Customer: “No! I want to talk to an adult. Not a little girl!”

Me: “Okay, well, our most senior manager on staff is behind Customer Service.”

Customer: *looks around, but doesn’t realize who my manager is*

Me: “He’s the one dressed up like Batman.”

Customer: *turns and walks out of the theater without another word*

(Thankfully, we never got sued and never saw her again.)

Stale Popcorn, Fresh Mind

| Panama City Beach, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I’m working at my zoo’s snack shack. I have to clean the popcorn machine a bit before closing, or else I won’t be done by quitting time. This is approved by my supervisor.)

Woman: “Miss, I need some—oh, did you not make popcorn today?”

Me: “Well, I cleaned out the machine, but it’s bagged so they can use it for the animals tomorrow.”

Woman: “Can I still buy it?” *glances at her two very young children* “I’d have come earlier but they weren’t hungry yet. However, they are dead-set on popcorn.”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s probably cold. Really cold.”

Woman: “I don’t care dear. How much? How’s five dollars?”

Me: “I really think there’s only two dollars with in the bag.”

Woman: “You get five for being so sweet!”

(I ring it up as two anyway, and let her put the change in the donation jar since we don’t take tips. The kids happily take the cold popcorn and start chowing down.)

Woman: “You’re a lifesaver, sweetie! And such good service!”

(When I take the ‘take-up’ to the gift shop, I see the woman with her kids, still eating the popcorn.)

Manager: “Good job. She’s really happy. Bought a mess of merchandise to thank us for hiring ‘such a nice girl!'”

(Both the kids hugged me on my way back out, too!)

Fresh Popcorn, Stale Mind

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