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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Tooth Isn’t The Only Thing Chipped

    | Lethbridge, AB, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I was in a few days ago, and something I ate chipped my tooth. I called and your boss said you would reimburse me.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, it’s not our policy to offer cash reimbursement without the manager present. However, if you leave your information I will pass it along to the owners and we’ll see what we can do.”

    Customer: “Oh.” *stands there staring at me for a minute*

    Me: “Is there something else I could help you with?”

    Customer: “Are you going to give me the money?”

    Me: “No, sorry, like I said, that’s not within our policy.”

    Customer: “Oh, ok.”

    (I leave to refill another customers beverage. The customer robs my float container from the drawer through some sneaky maneuvering.)

    Me: *catching the customer at the door* “I’m going to need to take that back from you.”

    Customer: *reluctantly hands the float container back to me, looking forlorn* “But….but….it’s for ME!”

    Gluten-Free Is Not A Cure For Gluttony

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink

    (I work in a bakery where all the products are gluten free.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, what are these things that look like chocolate chip cookies?”

    Me: “They’re chocolate chip cookies, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. And what are these things that look like éclairs?”

    Me: “They’re éclairs.”

    Customer: “And these things that look like fruit tarts?”

    Me: “They’re fruit tarts.”

    *pause*

    Customer: “So what the h*** does ‘gluten-free’ mean?”

    Killing One Cold Bird With Two Stores

    | Melbourne, Australia | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Top

    Customer: *throws bag of food at me* “It’s f***ing cold! Your chicken is terrible and the bun is stale!”

    Me: “Uh, this is–”

    Customer: “No, shut up! You guys always f*** me over, you’re not getting away with it today!”

    Me: “You didn’t–”

    Customer: “Fine! Get your manager, if you won’t help me. Enjoy being fired, a**wipe!”

    Another customer: “You’re at [fast food outlet], mate. You bought your food from [rival store], next door.”

    Customer: “Oh.” *awkward silence* “Can I have that bag back?”

    Ordering Pizza, Talking Baloney

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a lunch lady at a high school, and one of the students there is going to be leaving for a trip to Italy soon.)

    Me: “What kind of pizza would you like?”

    Student: “One pepperoni, one cheese.”

    Me: “So are you excited to spend two months in Italy?”

    Student: “Yeah, but I’m really going to miss all the good food here at school. Especially pizza.”

    Me: “But you’ll be in Italy right? So you can have pizza there.”

    Student: “Yeah but it won’t be authentic pizza from America. It’ll just be cheap Italian knock-offs.”

    Related:
    Ordering Meatballs, Talking Baloney

    Takeout The Decision Making Process

    | Melbourne, Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m a new waiter and I’m alone during an afternoon shift when a customer calls.)

    Customer: “I’m [name]. I’d like to order my usual for takeaway.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I’m new. Could you tell me what you would like to order?”

    Customer: “My usual.”

    Me: “I don’t know what that is, sir.”

    Customer: “Just tell the kitchen that it’s for [name]. They’ll know what it is.”

    Me: “Okay, but just in case they don’t know, could you tell me what your usual is?”

    Customer: “Oh, they’ll know, I’m a regular.”

    (He hangs up. Fifteen minutes later a man turns up in the restaurant.)

    Customer: “I’m [name]. I ordered my usual over the phone.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, the kitchen staff don’t know what your usual is so they weren’t able to make it.”

    Customer: “But I’m a regular! They know who I am.”

    Me: “They don’t. They cook whatever we tell them to cook. They never interact with the customers. If you would like to tell me what your usual is I could place your order.”

    Customer: “Never mind.”

    (Customer leaves. Later, I tell the manager what happened. The manager laughs and says that that particular customer always orders his usual which is whatever dish the staff member chooses for him.)


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