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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Time Waits For No Ham

    | Pittsburgh, PA,USA | Food & Drink

    (I work at a gas station that offers made-to-order sandwiches. A customer uses a computer to place their order and gets an order number that is called once their sandwich is made).

    Customer: “I’m here for my ham sandwich.”

    Me: “Okay. What is your order number?”

    Customer: “Here, it’s 433. I know I’m a few minutes late.”

    Me: “Sir, that order was ready three hours ago. We threw it away when it sat for half an hour.”

    Customer: “But it’s only 4:40. It has only been 7 minutes.”

    Me: “That is your order number, not the time you are suppose to pick up your order.”

    Customer: “Oh, I was wondering why the time didn’t have the dots between the hour and minutes!”

    Driving All Night Will Burn Rubber

    | New Brunswick, Canada | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (A couple in a car comes through the drive through.)

    Me: “Hello, [Store Name], may I take your order?”

    Customer: “Do you know of anywhere around here that is open at this time of night, and sells condoms?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, everything is closed.”

    Customer: “Alright, thanks.”

    (The customer drives away, and comes back 15 minutes later.)

    Me: “Hello, [Store Name], may I take your order?”

    Customer: “Hi, could I have a blueberry muffin wrapped in lots and lots of plastic wrap?”

    The Frozen Wastes

    | Canada | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Top

    Customer: “Hello dear. Could you tell me where the bathrooms are?”

    Me: “Towards the back of the restaurant, behind the bar.”

    Customer: “Thank you.”

    (The customer goes away for a time and comes to find me later.)

    Customer: “Thank you again, dear, but you may want to change your bathroom decor. It looks a lot like a freezer.”

    Me: “Ma’am, our bathrooms look nothing like a freezer. They are normal bathrooms.”

    Customer: “Oh dear…”

    Not The Brightest Idea

    | Iowa, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Can you turn this light off?” *points to the light hanging over the table*

    Me: “I’m sorry, but all the lights are connected. I can take the bulb out, but I would need to get a towel because it’s hot.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (I return under a minute later with a towel to see the light off.)

    Customer: “I took care of it.”

    (After clearing the table, I see she broke the bulb and put the glass pieces in her salad.)

    Drive Hoo

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

    Me: “Welcome to [Fast-Food Restaurant], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ll take a number 1, 5, and 12.”

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be $12.09.”

    Customer: “Woohoo!”

    (The customer drives to the window.)

    Me: “That’s $12.09.”

    Customer: “Woohoo!”

    *pause*

    Me: “$12.09.”

    Customer: “Woohoo!”

    Me: “12.”

    Customer: “Woo!”

    Me: “09.”

    Customer: “Hoo!”

    Me: “12.09″

    Customer: “Woohoo!”

    Me: “…09.12″

    Customer: “Hoowoo!”

    Me: “90.21″

    Customer: “Ooh-oow!”

    Me: “Well played, sir.”


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