Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Paying It Cool

| Reno, NV, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

(It’s very rainy day on the weekend. The restaurant is very busy, but I am the only person working due to payroll issues. I have twice slipped in a puddle of water customers have dragged in, and I have hurt myself a bit. Customer #1 is a rude new customer, and Customer #2 is an elderly woman, also new. Both taking advantage of a half-off promotion. I’m running the bar making a margarita and taking a to-go order, but I am still a little shaken up from my fall. I drop the top to a mixer and it clatters on the floor.)

Customer #1: *mocking voice* “Oh no, don’t fall.”

(Her whole table laughs. I blush and ignore the rude customer and continue doing my job. I start the rounds to see if anyone else needs a refill when I reach Customer #2.)

Customer #2: “I have to say, you handled that situation very coolly.”

Me: “Oh, it’s okay. It was just a little fall.”

Customer #2: “No, the other situation.” *turns to look at Customer #1, who looks away*

Me: “Oh no, it’s okay. That my job; I’m here to serve!”

Customer #2: “Regardless, you were so level-headed even though that looked like it hurt pretty bad. You’re just so cool, handling it like you are!”

(Customer #1 has stopped eating and is just blushing and staring at her food.)

Me: “It really is okay. I’m just doing my job.”

Customer #2: “And you’re doing a great job! You’re just so much cooler than some other people. You’re a great waiter!”

(By now, I’m blushing.)

Me: “Thank you, can I get you anything else?”

(Hearing this, Customer #1 slaps some cash on the table and leaves just barely enough to cover her meal. When Customer #2 leaves after her, she leaves $11 dollars extra and gives me a Peace sign. Thank you, ma’am, that made me so happy! I used the extra money to buy snacks for the kitchen staff!)

Not Quite The Muffin Top Of The Class

, | QLD, Australia | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I am working on drive-thru at a major fast food restaurant.)

Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]. Please place your order.”

Customer: “Can I have a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin?”

Me: “So, two bacon and egg muffins.”

Customer: “No… I want a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

Me: “Umm… so, two bacon and egg muffins?

Customer: “No!”

Me: “You just said you want a bacon and egg muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

Customer: “I want a bacon muffin and a bacon and egg muffin.”

Me: “So, two bacon and egg muffins, one without egg.”

Customer: “No! Just give me two bacon and egg muffins.”

Me: *gives up* “…Sure. That will just be $7.30 at the first window.”

Give Them An Inch And They’ll Take A While

, | USA | Food & Drink, Money

(The chain restaurant I work for makes kid’s meals. They’re composed of a four-inch sandwich, a milk, soda, or juice box to drink, and apple slices, a cookie, or a bag of chips for a side. If the kid or parent wants something a tad different, we can always fudge the order a little. However, we can not stick a larger sandwich in instead of the four inch.)

Customer: “Okay, I’d like a six-inch kid’s meal, please.”

Boss: “I’m sorry, but the kid’s meals are only four-inch subs. You can get a six inch and make it a meal with a milk and apples instead however.”

Customer: “That’s fine. I’ll pay extra for the six inch, then.”

(I make the customer’s order and proceed to ring her through. Since it’s busy and I don’t want to cause issues, I throw in the reusable bag and toy for free, and don’t charge extra for the milk.)

Me: “Okay, that will be [price].”

Customer: *stares at me* “Why is it so expensive?”

Me: “Well the six inch is [price], but since you said you wanted to treat it like a kid’s meal, I didn’t charge extra for the milk and threw in the bag without charge.”

Customer: “But I’m confused. I’m looking at the menu and it says the kid’s meal is less than that. Why are you charging me so much?”

Me: “Because you got a six inch instead.”

Customer: “Whatever. I guess that’s fine. It’s just no one explained this to me. I’m so used to paying less! I mean, I come here all the time and you let me get a six inch kids meal for the price of a four inch one. So, why is this different?”

Boss: “Because whenever people order a six inch, they get to the register and declare they’re getting a kid’s meal. We don’t want to cause friction, so we just charge it as such. However, she heard you order.”

Me: “I can charge it as a four inch sandwich, just this once.”

Customer: “FINE! Now I know, I guess. I just hate paying so much!”

Be Thankful For Little Squirts

| USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

Rude customer: “What do you mean you don’t have any? I order those clams every time!”

Waitress: “I’m really sorry, but we had a problem with the order and delivery and don’t have any today.”

Rude customer: “Well, that’s not good enough. Order it right now. Get them from someone else if you have to.”

Waitress: “Sir, clam dishes are aren’t available today. I’m sorry for the inconvenience. Perhaps if I may I suggest another dish?”

Rude customer: “I don’t care. Get me my clams now!”

Waitress: “As I’ve already explained—”

Rude customer: “I want my clams!” *bangs table*

(Suddenly, a stream of water squirts on him.)

Rude customer: “What the f*** was that?!”

(At a nearby table sits a little boy with a water gun.)

Little boy: “Naughty, naughty, naughty!”

Last Of The Summer Whine

| UK | Food & Drink

(The previous day, the shelf that held all our wine collapsed. This has resulted in the aisle being flooded with wine and closed. I’m working on the customer service desk.)

Customer: “Excuse me, young man, I was wondering if you had any red wine available?”

Me: “Ah, well I’m afraid we’ve had an incident and all the red wine we have in store today has been smashed, so no, I’m afraid we have no red wine available. We should have some more in tomorrow if that’s any good to you?”

Customer: “Hmm… well, do you have any available today?”

Me: “Well, no. The shelf literally collapsed, and everything we had was on that shelf, and so everything we had is broken. I’m really sorry for the inconvenience.”

Customer: *raising voice* “Well, young man, you’re not making any sense. I would like some red wine now please.”

Me: “Well, the best I can do is put you some aside when the delivery comes in tomorrow. Any wine we had today was unfortunately smashed. People are actually trying to clear up the mess now.”

Customer: “You are incompetent! I would like some red wine now, please!”

(At this point another colleague who has been nearby listening in comes over to help.)

Customer: *to my coworker* “Hey, you! This colleague is babbling. I would like some wine. Can I get some wine, please?!”

Colleague: “Well, that depends on two very important things: how desperate are you, and do you have a straw?”

Customer: “I do not understand. All of you are babies, and you’re all dumb and ridiculous. You’ll all be fired!”

Colleague: “Well, maybe if you spent more time listening, and less time shouting you would understand, my colleague here has already explained everything, as have the colleagues clearing up the alcohol aisle that you were shouting at earlier.”

Customer: “I’ll go to [competitor]! Yeah, you won’t like that, will you?! That shut you up! I’ll never shop here again!”

Colleague: “We’ll hold you to it. Now, please stop assaulting our staff and leave before I call the police.”

Customer: “You… I’m… grrr… wine… ARGH!” *leaves*

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