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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    It’s The Secret Sauce

    | Orem, UT, USA | Food & Drink

    (I take to-go orders over the phone. This was a call from one of our daily customers.)

    Customer: “I was also wondering if you had areola sauce.”

    Me: “Um…sorry. What was that?”

    Customer: “Areola sauce! Someone’s asking for it.”

    Me: *trying not to laugh*

    (In the background, someone yells and everyone starts laughing.)

    Customer: “Oh God! Is that what I said? Well, s***. That’s definitely not what I want.”

    (After nearly ten minutes of laughing and getting nowhere in their order, the phone gets passed around until someone can stop laughing long enough to talk. I gave them some free dessert for making my week.)

    Papa’s Not Home

    , | Niceville, FL, USA | Food & Drink

    (This takes place between my manager and a customer over the phone.)

    Caller: “Hey, is John there?”

    Manager: “Sorry sir, this is [pizza place]. There’s no John here.”

    Caller: “Stop playin’, John, we’re supposed to go to the movies soon.”

    Manager: “Sir, seriously, this is [pizza place]. I think you may have the wrong number.”

    Caller: “Well, crap! Do y’all have any deals?”

    Manager: “Well, you can get a large 3 topping and a 2-liter for $10.60.”

    Caller: “D***, that’s better than John!”

    Manager: “Yes, sir, it sure is.”

    Supply And Demand For Dummies

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Do have any more [brand name] chicken noodle soup mix?

    (The shelf is empty, so I look around to see if we have any hidden on the shelf.)

    Me: “There is none here. Let me go check the backroom.”

    (I go check and come back a few minutes later)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we do not have any left.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? Who runs out of chicken noodle soup in the middle of winter?”

    Me: “Well, it is the middle of winter…”

    Sorry, You’re Toast

    , | Evans, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Does your kids’ chicken finger meal come with toast?”

    (The little boy, about ten, looks horrified at the mention of toast.)

    Me: “No, ma’am, it doesn’t.”

    (The boy’s face immediately lights up with happiness.)

    Customer: “Just add a piece of toast, then.”

    Boy: “But mom, I don’t like toast!”

    Customer: “You don’t know what you like.” *turns to me* “Add the toast.”

    Boy: *looks like he’s about to cry*

    For The Sake Of Demonstration

    , | Georgia, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

    (This gentleman has just ordered a vanilla cone. My coworker is standing at the window giving it out while I am beside her. He asks an odd question as he is handed his ice cream.)

    Customer: “Do you believe in unicorns?”

    Coworker: “What?“

    Customer: “Doo-dee-doo-dee…”

    (He takes the ice cream cone and smashes it onto the top of his head, I’m assuming as to resemble a unicorn horn, and then drives away.)

    Me: “Oh, my.”

    Coworker: “Did that really just happen?”

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