Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
    (2,061 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Not The Only Thing In Need Of Maintenance

    , | Saskatchewan, Canada | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

    (We’re closed for maintenance, and have shut off all the exterior lights, including those in drive-thru. We also put a sign on the drive-thru menu stating we’re closed. A car pulls into drive-thru, and I put on a headset. All of this takes places via drive-thru speaker.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m sorry, but we’re currently closed for maintenance. Our other location down the street will be happy to serve you.”

    Customer: “Hey, we just need a minute. Your lights are off, and it’s hard to see the menu.”

    Me: “Sorry, I said we’re closed for maintenance. That’s why the lights are off.”

    Customer: “Okay, we’re ready.”

    Me: “Sorry, I said we’re closed. Our other store just a few blocks down the street will be happy to help.”

    (The customer says their order.)

    Customer: “Hello? Did you get that?”

    Me: *gives up* “Welcome to [restaurant]. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed due to the store being closed for maintenance. For service in English, please press one.” *switches to French* “Pour service en Francais, poussez le deux.” *switches to Spanish* “Para el servicio en Español, presione por favor el numero tres.”

    (Faint laughter as the rest of the car’s passengers start laughing.)

    Customer: “Uh…” *whispers* “What do I do?” *laughter from other passengers* “Uh… one?”

    Me: “Thank you for calling [restaurant]. Our hours of operation are 7 am to 3 am, except today, because we are closed… due… to… maintenance. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!”

    (Squeal of tires as the car peels away, the rest of the passengers killing themselves laughing.)

    Dieters Are Of A Sweet Disposition

    | Saskatchewan, Canada | Food & Drink

    (A customer approaches the concessions counter.)

    Customer: “Can I have a diet soda?”

    Me: “Sorry, the fountain here is all out of diet soda.”

    Customer: “That’s fine, I’ll just have a regular soda then.”

    (I give her the regular soda that she asked for. I then watch as she goes to the condiment table and grabs about 5-6 packets of artificial sweetener, dumping it all into her drink.)

    Me: “Um…? What are you doing?”

    Customer: “I’m making it a diet soda.”

    Best Not Order The French Fries

    | Tennessee, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I come in on my day off to get my paycheck. My boss asks me to help with a table of two people who are speaking mostly French before I go. When I am done another customer calls me over.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, don’t you work here?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I do. It’s just my day off today. Would you like me to get your server?”

    Customer: “What were you just talking in? It was some kind of foreign talk. At that other table there?”

    Me: “Oh, I speak a little bit of French, so I was helping the server.”

    Customer: “You can do that?”

    Me: “Do what, sir?”

    Customer: “You can speak French in here? Isn’t that illegal?!”

    Me: “To speak French?”

    Customer: “Yeah! I mean, this is a Mexican restaurant. You could get shot for speaking in French! Or even just thinking about talking in French!”

    Me: “Well–”

    Customer: “Shot!”

    Me: “I don’t think–”

    Customer: “Shot!”

    Me: “Sir–”

    Customer: “SHOT I SAID!”

    Boss: “It’s okay. She was thinking about the words in Spanish.”

    Customer: “Oh good.” *whispers to me* “Don’t ever try to talk in British in here. It won’t end well.”

    (My boss made a gun out of paperclips and attached them to all of my paychecks after that.)

    A Customer You Would Prefer To Circumnavigate Around

    | Durham, NC, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (An employee calls me over to deal with someone who is angry that they can’t take their restaurant leftovers into the theater.)

    Customer: “Why can’t I bring this in? I’m not going to eat it or anything!”

    Me: “I’m sure you wouldn’t, but unfortunately it is a rule here that you can’t bring it in, and I can’t circumvent it.”

    Customer: “What the h*** does geometry have to do with my food?!”

    Throw In A Chilean For Some Kick

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (There is a customer in the refrigerated dairy section, looking lost.)

    Me: “Can I help you find something?”

    Customer: *grabs my arm* “Oh, yes! I’m looking for cheese.”

    Me: “Well, it would be in this aisle. What kind of cheese?”

    Customer: “You know, it’s white, and has little green flecks of Filipino.”

    Me: “Uhm, I don’t think we have that. Do you mean jalapeño?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s it!”


    Page 191/213First...189190191192193...Last