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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Bright Makes Right

    , | WI, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am the drive-thru cashier on a slow day. Most of the few customers that have come through have been unpleasant or downright rude. During the early afternoon, a very cheerful customer comes through.)

    Me: “Welcome to [store name]. What can we make for you today?”

    Customer: “Hi! How are you today?”

    Me: “I’m doing alright, thanks. You?”

    Customer: “Wonderful! Can I have two waters and a [dessert item]?”

    Me: “Alright, that’s [total] and I’ll see you at the window.”

    (When the car pulls up, I see two teenage girls, both with big smiles on their faces. I hand them their water and take their money before handing them their treat. Before handing the treat out, the passenger leans forward and speaks up loud enough for the entire kitchen to hear.)

    Passenger: “That’s for you guys, on us! Friend told us y’all were having a bad day; we wanted to cheer you up! Have a great day!”

    (It worked! It totally made my whole day so much better!)

    Fowl About The Chicken

    | LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I’m in the food court of the mall standing in line to get something from one of the food stalls there, one of only two known to serve chicken exclusively. There is a customer in front of me with a meal box from the other stall.)

    Cashier #1: *to the customer* “Hi, welcome to [restaurant’s name]! How may I help you?”

    Customer: “You idiots screwed up my order!” *thrusts box out at the cashier* “I’m supposed to get fries and coleslaw with this meal but I only have chicken and bread!”

    (He sees the box but begins stammering, trying not to upset her by telling her she’s not at the right stall.)

    Cashier #1: “I’m so sorry ma’am, but… well…”

    Customer: “Fix it! I want my fries and slaw!”

    Cashier #2: “Ma’am, the box you’re holding has [other restaurant’s name] on it.”

    Customer: “I know that!”

    Cashier #2: “Would you mind taking a step back and reading the sign above our stall?”

    (The customer steps back, almost hitting me, and reads out loud the restaurant’s name.)

    Customer: “And? What’s all this for? Fix my order!”

    Cashier #2: “Ma’am, you’re at the wrong restaurant. [Other restaurant’s name] is across the food court. They can fix your order.”

    (By now everyone in line, including me, is waiting to see if she’ll apologize for getting them mixed up.)

    Customer: “You’re all useless!” *stomps off with her food*

    Cashier #1: “I tried to be nice, I really did…”

    Not A Breadwinning Idea

    | NC, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (An older man comes into the cafe and looks our menu over. We serve salads, sandwiches, and soup.)

    Customer: “I want a sandwich, but I don’t eat bread.”

    Me: “Hmm…”

    Customer: “I’m probably not going to have any luck with that, am I?”

    Me: “No, sir, I don’t think so.”

    If They Were Loud Then Pigs Would Fly

    | Layton, UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (My two friends and I are customers at a popular nationwide diner chain. It is around 1 am, and we are seated near a corner table, where three loud, obnoxious diners are seated with a sleeping infant in an open carrier. I am seated with my back to them and my two friends and are, for the most part, successfully ignoring them and quietly talking amongst ourselves. The only other customers in the restaurant are two twenty-something’s seated at a small table directly across the aisle from us doing nothing but reading and trying to ignore the obnoxious diners who are using some fairly vulgar language as they complain about their days. Not surprisingly, their loud cursing wakes up their infant. A few moments later, I feel something hit the back of my neck.)

    Me: *under my breath* “What the…” *reaching up to take the projectile off the back of my neck*

    Friend: “What is that?”

    Me: “…it’s bacon.”

    (Thinking the increasingly-upset child behind me had grabbed something off the diner’s plate and accidentally thrown it my way as its parents tried unsuccessfully to calm it, I set aside the bacon from the table behind me and continued trying to ignore the loud diners behind us, as they did not directly address us after the bacon had hit me. Five or ten minutes pass.)

    Loud female diner: *as she walks by our table* “THANKS FOR BEING LOUD!”

    (Her two male friends both give us dirty looks as they pass us and walk towards the front register. We sit and stare in stunned silence. As the lady with the baby pays, we watch her rant to our exhausted waitress and pointing to us. When they finally leave, our waitress came over to us.)

    Me: “What was that all about?!”

    Waitress: “They apparently were blaming you for waking up their baby.”

    Reading customer: “For what it’s worth, we didn’t even realize you guys were there until they yelled at you!”

    Me: “You may want to watch out for them if they come back. They started throwing their bacon at me.”

    Waitress: *stunned* “I hate the night shift.”

    An Extra Shot Of Irony

    | England, UK | Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I am at a New Year’s Eve party.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, I need to replace someone’s drink. I accidentally spilt it.”

    (As it is only a small drink, I gave it to him without charge.)

    Customer #2: *to me* “How much of an idiot do you have to be to spill someone’s drink?!”

    (Customer#2 orders various drinks, but there are 2 expensive bottles of wine and mixer drinks with at least 3 shots of various spirits in.)

    Me: “All together that will be £50.”

    Customer #2: “No problem, but seriously can you imagine if I was as stupid as him and spilled these!”

    (Customer #2 turns with tray of drinks to return to his friends. As he does, he drops the entire tray, smashing the wine bottles and the other drinks all over the floor.)

    Customer #2: “I guess I deserved that. Don’t suppose I could have free replacements?”

    (The guy bought another round, as well as two more drinks, one for me and one for the guy he had been joking about.)

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