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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Don’t Make Me Clean Up This One

    | California, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “I love the f*** out of yogurt. I would make love to yogurt!”

    Me: *awkward laughter*

    (The customer picks her yogurt and I ring her up without any issues.)

    Customer: “Do y’all have a bathroom I can take this into?”

    Deficiency Leads To Stupidity

    | Florida, USA | Food & Drink

    (In my store, we sell mainly natural real fruit smoothies, but we do have additions like vitamins, antioxidants, and whey protein. All of our additions are listed on our menu. A lady who looks to be in her mid 40s approaches my counter.)

    Me: “Hi there. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: *reading addition section* “What is protein?”

    Me: *thinking she unfamiliar with “whey”* “Well, it’s protein made from dairy that’s been processed into a powder. Ours is vanilla flavored, so it goes well with all of our fruits.”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah, but what is protein?”

    Me: *confused* “Protein? You mean the like the stuff you normally get from eating meat or eggs?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’ve never heard of it before. What is it?”

    Pudding The P In Peculiar

    | Portland, OR, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Would you like a bag for your items?”

    Customer: “I want pudding.”

    (We’re a party store famous for giving out free popcorn, so I offer him popcorn instead.)

    Me: “I don’t have any pudding, but I can give you some free popcorn.”

    Customer: “Not good enough.”

    Me: “They both start with ‘P’.”

    Customer: “Nope!” *walks away with items in hand*

    You’ve Rubbed Me The Wrong Way

    | Aurora, Colorado, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (A customer is ordering on drive-thru.)

    Me: “Anything else I can get for you today?”

    Customer: “Five thousand dollars?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m just a cashier, not a genie. Will that be all?”

    Customer: *defeated sigh* “Yes…”

    Where There’s Smoke, There’s A Liar

    | Sacramento , CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (Keep in mind I work in a yogurt shop and we only sell yogurt and candy. An obviously underage customer comes up to be rung up.)

    Me: “Is that going to be it for you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a pack of cigarettes too?”

    Me: “This is a yogurt shop, sir.”

    Customer: “I have my ID though!”

    Me: “This is a yogurt shop. Not only do we not sell cigarettes, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to accept a fake ID.”

    Customer: *storms out muttering obscenities*

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