October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

A Cold Case Of Hot Food

| Australia | Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a theme park eatery. We don’t sell drinks with the meals, as you buy them separately. For the meals the drinks are $3, $6 or $9, if not, they’re $4, $10 and $14.)

Me: “Hi there, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Can I please get a coke?”

Me: “What size would you like?”

Customer: “I’ll get the large.”

Me: “Sure, no worries. That’s $13.99 for that, thanks.”

Customer: “Excuse me! I just wanted one drink, not two!”

Me: “Yes, sir, I understand. However, those prices we have up there are only for the meals.”

Customer: “That’s false advertising!”

Me: “I understand your frustration. If you look at the sign, it says down the bottom in bold letters that the prices are higher if you only buy the drink.”

Customer: “I don’t give two s****! Get me your manager.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but the manager is in a meeting right now. If you want it cheaper you can buy a meal with it.”

Customer: “Fine! Get me a [meal] with that large coke!”

Me: “Of course, sir. Is there anything else I can get for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, you can make sure it’s the best burger I’ve ever f***** tasted, or I’m coming back and throwing it in your face.”

Me: “I assure you, sir, they are delicious.”

(I get the man his meal and drink. About 10 minutes later he comes back, and asks for a free refill.)

Customer: “Erm… that was quite a nice burger, and I’m sorry for getting mad.”

Me: “That’s okay, sir. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day.”

Over The Edge Of Reason

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I work at a chain coffee shop. The building is on the side of a hill; directly behind the shop is a sheer drop off. Every Sunday morning, a woman comes in with same conversation.)

Woman: “Why don’t you have a drive through? The coffee shop in every other town has a drive through!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s no room around the back of the building for a drive through.”

Woman: “This is ridiculous! If you weren’t the only place on the way to church to get coffee, I’d never stop here. The one day of the week I have to wear heels; I have to walk across the parking lot!”

(One Sunday morning, there is a loud crash, and the building shakes. I run outside; the woman has rammed her car between the back of the building and the cliff side. The entire front of the car is hanging off of the edge. Her airbag has deployed and she seems dazed. She starts to open the door. I start yelling.)

Me: “No! Climb out through the back!”

(We eventually get her inside, and call the cops.)

Woman: “I was trying to prove there’s enough room for them to have a drive through. I guess I was wrong!”

(The company won for damages. A family whose home was hit by debris rolling down the hill sued her as well. Seemed like way more trouble in the end than just walking into a building for a latte!)

The Dimmest Thing In The Store

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A customer is standing in front of the sake in a corner of our store. My coworker approaches her.)

Coworker: “Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “Do you think this sake is, you know, safe to drink?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, safe to drink? I assume it’s gone through the proper processing procedures.”

Customer: “I mean… was this sake affected by the tsunami that hit Japan?”

(My coworker realizes she’s alluding to the power plants that were hit by the tsunami, and the possibility that the sake is radioactive.)

Coworker: *jokingly* “Well, if you take it home, and it starts to glow in the dark, I’d suggest you don’t drink it.”

Customer: “Oh, okay!”

(My coworker walks away. After a couple of minutes, my manager and I glance over to see the lady cupping the bottle in her hands. She is trying to make it dark enough to see if it will glow in the dark!)

Strawberry Fields Forever

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I am ordering ice-cream for my family and me.)

Cashier: “What can I get for you?”

Me: “I’ll have a scoop of strawberry, please.”

Cashier: “Sorry, we only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan today.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! Chocolate, then.”

Cashier: “Alright, anything else?”

Dad: “I’ll have a strawberry shake.”

Cashier: “Sorry, we only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan.”

Dad: “Oh right, a chocolate shake then.”

Sister: “I want a strawberry sundae!”

Cashier: “We only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan.”

Sister: “Okay, vanilla.”

Me: “Does that happen a lot?”

Cashier: “Often enough that I look forward to the days we actually have strawberry.”

Borderline Stupidity

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Canada, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I am behind two boys in line. They pile a bunch of coolers on the counter, and try to pay with American money.)

Cashier: “Could I see some ID, please?”

(Boy #1 waves his hand like Obi-Wan.)

Boy #1: “Oh, you don’t need to see our IDs.”

Cashier: “Uh, actually, I do.”

Boy #2: “It’s okay; we’re both 21!”

Cashier: “Drinking age in Ontario is 19.”

Boy #2: “Oh. Well, we’re both 19, then.”

Cashier: “Do you even have identification?”

Boy #1: “Fine! Here!”

(He throws a card on the counter.)

Cashier: “The government doesn’t consider this valid ID.”

Boy #1: “OH COME ON!”

Cashier: “…and this American state driver’s licence says you’re 16.”

Boy #2: “F****** Canadians!”

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