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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Do-Nut Yell At Me

    | Rhode Island, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m the baker and I am getting everything ready to go out into our case for display. I’m working with just one other person and he’s on drive-thru duty.)

    Coworker: “Hey, can you come help me? This guy keeps telling me he wants a glazed bagel.”

    (I walk out onto the floor and over to the window where the man is waiting with a mad look on his face.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, hun. What was it that you were looking for?”

    Customer: “I JUST WANT A GOD D*** GLAZED BAGEL!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, hun. We don’t carry glazed bagels here. I’ve worked here for four years and we have never had them.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? I get glazed bagels here all the time! You must be stupid. I know that there are glazed bagels. I’m just gonna come inside.”

    (He speeds his car away from our drive-thru window and I walk into the back to finish with all my baking that I am doing. All of a sudden, I hear the door swing open and hear a familiar loud voice.)

    Customer: “There it is! Right there! G-L-A-Z-E-D. I told you, you carry glazed bagels!”

    Coworker: *stares in shock at the man*

    Customer: “You both are stupid! Can you just get my order? I just want my coffee and my glazed DONUT!”

    (At this point, my coworker and myself both just look at one another. Then the customer seems to realize what he said.)

    Customer: “I said bagel before, didn’t I? Whatever! You should have known what I meant.”

    It Never Hurts To Quadruple Check

    | Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink

    Me: “Good morning, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like a large tea, with cream and sugar on the side.”

    Me: “Okay, just to clarify, the cream and sugar are both on the side?”

    Customer: “On the side means it’s not in the cup.”

    Me: “Okay, so they’re both on the side?”

    Customer: “ON THE SIDE MEANS THEY’RE NOT IN THE CUP!”

    Me: “Okay, so you have cream and sugar on the side.”

    Customer: “I DON’T WANT ANYTHING IN THE CUP!”

    Me: “Okay, so you have a large black tea with cream and sugar on the side. That will be [price], and you can pick your tea up at the end.”

    (I go make the drink, get the cream and sugar on the side, and give it to the customer.)

    Me: “Okay, one large black tea with cream and sugar on the side.”

    Customer: “So, there’s nothing in the cup, right?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Right Next To The Pee Not And Cabinet, Part 2

    | Massachusetts, USA | Food & Drink

    (I work in the wine department of a well known grocery chain.)

    Customer: “Can you show me where the Charbonnay is?”

    Me: “Ah, you mean Chardonnay. It’s right over here.”

    (I hand her a bottle.)

    Customer: “That’s not Charbonnay. Charbonnay is RED!”

    Me: “Oh, sorry. Here you go!”

    (I hand her a bottle of Cabernet sauvignon.)

    Customer: “That’s more like it!” *waddles off grumbling about how stupid I am*

    Related:
    Right Next To The Pee Not And Cabinet

    Everything Sounds So Delightfully Good

    , | Wisconsin, USA | Food & Drink

    (Every day, we have soups available. When a soup runs out, we take its card out of the display and put in a placeholder that says something like “Warm Goodness” or “Homestyle Delight” just to fill space. The cards very clearly do not look like the rest of the cards since the normal soups have descriptions where the placeholders say “Try our soups today!”)

    Customer: “I’d like some of the Warm Goodness.”

    Me: “Well that isn’t actually a soup, it’s just a placeholder. We do have several other soups today.”

    Customer: “Silly me. I’ll have the Homestyle Delight instead.”

    Be Prepared For Explosive Flavor

    | Davenport, IA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I’m eating in the mall food court when I see an angry man approaches a security guard. It looks serious, so I try to listen to their conversation. I only hear a few fragments.)

    Angry guy: “Security alert…suspicious item…chemical spill…At other places, the security staff works in conjunction with the local police, bomb squad, and haz-mat team! [Nearby military base] is pretty high on al-Qaeda’s list of targets. I don’t feel safe at all!”

    (The angry guy stomps off. I’m a little worried at this point, so I walk up to the security guard.)

    Me: “What’s going on?”

    Security guard: “Nothing. Somebody left an open can of Coke in the middle of the floor.”

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