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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Santa Thanks You For Your Consideration

    | Helsinki, Finland | Food & Drink

    (A customer is inquiring about restaurants in the vicinity of the hotel and I’ve offered him a few suggestions.)

    Customer: “Thank you for your help. Now, I have one more question, if that’s okay?”

    Me: “Of course.”

    Customer: “Is all the meat in Helsinki reindeer meat?”

    Me: “Do you mean in the Finnish restaurants?”

    Customer: “No, everywhere. Is it possible to get beef, or pork, for example?”

    Me: “Yes, you can get pretty much any kind of meat here. Reindeer is a specialty meat, even for most Finns.”

    Customer: “Oh, ok! I used to live in Alaska and reindeer was the only meat you could get there. Thanks for your help, again!”

    Me: “You’re welcome.”

    Having Funion With Food

    , | York County, ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Any veggies on your sandwich?”

    Customer: *mumbles*

    (I think I hear “onions” and reach for them.)

    Customer: “No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! No onions, no onions, no, no, NO!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, no onions then. What did you say?”

    Customer: *repeats veggie order*

    (I get to ringing her up and she begins to apologize.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry if I startled you.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s okay.”

    Customer: “It’s just…I don’t like onions.”

    Me: “It’s really okay.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand. You would have had to remake my sandwich. I hate onions! They make me want to vomit! Vomit everywhere!”

    Color Me Stupid

    | St Louis, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Note: I am fairly new at the liquor store, so I’m still learning about all the wines, beers, and liqueurs.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have Nuvo Pink?”

    Me: “Umm, I’m not sure. What is that?”

    Customer: “It’s a liqueur.”

    Me: “Okay, well, it would be over here.”

    (I take the customer over to the the shelves and start looking for it.)

    Me: “If we don’t have it, perhaps we have something similar. What flavor is it?”

    Customer: “Pink.”

    Me: “No, what flavor?”

    Customer: “The flavor is pink!”

    Painfully Obvious Stupidity

    | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Food & Drink

    (In Canada, all products have the information written in both English and French. A customer is holding a loaf of whole wheat bread.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! This doesn’t make any sense. This says 100% whole wheat. Is it white bread or brown?”

    Me: “It’s brown.”

    Customer: “But, that’s not what it says here. It says ‘plain’, which means it’s white, doesn’t it?”

    Me: “That says ‘pain’. It’s French for ‘bread’.”

    Customer: “But it already says ‘bread’.

    Me: “Yes, but ‘bread’ is English and ‘pain’ is French.”

    Customer: “So, is it white or brown?”

    Me: “It’s brown.”

    Customer: “Then why does it say ‘plain’!?”

    She’s Nuts About Her Husband

    | North Carolina, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: “Do these cookies contain nuts?”

    Me: “Which cookie are you thinking about?”

    Customer: “The toffee nut cookies.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, they contain brazil nuts.”

    Customer: “I’ll take one.”

    (After a few minutes, the customer returns.)

    Customer: “What kind of nuts do those cookies contain?”

    Me: “Ma’am, they contain brazil nuts.”

    Customer: “Oh, my husband is deathly allergic to those.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can call 911 or direct you to the nearest hospital.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know where it is, but first, I want to get a sandwich to go…”

    Related:
    Through Joy And Sorrow, Sickness And Health Insurance


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