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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Supply And Demand For Dummies

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Do have any more [brand name] chicken noodle soup mix?

    (The shelf is empty, so I look around to see if we have any hidden on the shelf.)

    Me: “There is none here. Let me go check the backroom.”

    (I go check and come back a few minutes later)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we do not have any left.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? Who runs out of chicken noodle soup in the middle of winter?”

    Me: “Well, it is the middle of winter…”

    Sorry, You’re Toast

    , | Evans, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Does your kids’ chicken finger meal come with toast?”

    (The little boy, about ten, looks horrified at the mention of toast.)

    Me: “No, ma’am, it doesn’t.”

    (The boy’s face immediately lights up with happiness.)

    Customer: “Just add a piece of toast, then.”

    Boy: “But mom, I don’t like toast!”

    Customer: “You don’t know what you like.” *turns to me* “Add the toast.”

    Boy: *looks like he’s about to cry*

    For The Sake Of Demonstration

    , | Georgia, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

    (This gentleman has just ordered a vanilla cone. My coworker is standing at the window giving it out while I am beside her. He asks an odd question as he is handed his ice cream.)

    Customer: “Do you believe in unicorns?”

    Coworker: “What?“

    Customer: “Doo-dee-doo-dee…”

    (He takes the ice cream cone and smashes it onto the top of his head, I’m assuming as to resemble a unicorn horn, and then drives away.)

    Me: “Oh, my.”

    Coworker: “Did that really just happen?”

    One Person’s Smash Is Another Person’s Treasure

    | Oklahoma, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Do you have guacamole here?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Because I asked for guacamole at [competition], and they gave me this smooshy baby-poo green stuff!”

    One Good Takeout Deserves Another

    | New York, NY, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

    (A few years ago, around noon on Christmas day, several dozen Chinese people walked in to our Kosher deli style restaurant, apparently in a group. One walked up to the front desk.)

    Man: *softly* “Is it okay if we’re here?”

    Hostess: “Yes, we serve everyone, but are you sure you’re in the right place?”

    Man: “This is [restaurant], right?”

    Hostess: “Yes sir, it is.”

    Man: “Well, we figured since you Jews are all coming to our restaurants tonight, we’d return the favor.”

    Hostess: *slightly shocked* “Thanks. Right this way…we’ll seat you!”

    (…and they’ve been back every year since!)


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